Can you write as well as Sean Penn, Veeky Forums?

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

Can you write as well as Sean Penn, Veeky Forums?

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amazon.co.uk/Bob-Honey-Who-Just-Stuff/dp/1501189042/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1522234650&sr=8-1&keywords=bob honey who just do stuff

Evilember
Evilember

Lmao

SniperGod
SniperGod

I can't do anything as well as sean penn

RavySnake
RavySnake

Please tell me this is a troll

WebTool
WebTool

I like the third excerpt barring "soupcon"

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

14 year old discovered thesaurus and alliteration tier

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

I'm afraid not

amazon.co.uk/Bob-Honey-Who-Just-Stuff/dp/1501189042/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1522234650&sr=8-1&keywords=bob honey who just do stuff

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Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

Jesus

Emberburn
Emberburn

The alliteration is worse than List of The Loss.

DeathDog
DeathDog

literally unreadable

Booteefool
Booteefool

“It seems wrong to say that so dystopian a novel is great fun to read, but it’s true. I suspect that Thomas Pynchon and Hunter S. Thompson would love this book.” —Salman Rushdie
Literature is dead.

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Soft_member
Soft_member

sean penn born 1960
hemingway kills himself 1961

figures

viagrandad
viagrandad

Exactly what it reminded me of.

Absolutely disgraceful that publishers are pushing this stuff out to make a quick buck.

iluvmen
iluvmen

Didn't know centurion was an adverb lmao

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

TIL Sheen Peen is a tryhard

Evilember
Evilember

I'm disgusted

TechHater
TechHater

Brainlet here. What the fuck does the second excerpt even mean?

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

I feel the same reading this as I feel reading some "patrician tier" books.

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Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

Something about having sex with his obese wife. I don't have the stomach to decipher it any further.

King_Martha
King_Martha

If he had used a pen name, Veeky Forums would be praising this book to the heavens.

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

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CodeBuns
CodeBuns

The second excerpt is missing a comma, the third uses "soupcon" incorrectly, and it's totally unclear in the first what "sexual solitaire" has to do with infidelity (although this could be changed through context). The alliteration is totally excessive. It's not pleasant to the ear or to the eye. I pray the rest of the novel is not this bad, for his sake.

Not exactly clear what "these collisions" are, if he's referring to himself, something he's seen in real life, or something he watches. The "viagratic" part means that he avoids porn when he feels "these collisions of incubus and succubus." This description seems almost entirely pegged to the alliteration, the word "viscount" grasps at sense in the context. This prose in this book seems like it might be right up there with O I L Y S M A R T S. Who knows, maybe Seen is the one who posted that

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SniperWish
SniperWish

LOL

RavySnake
RavySnake

talking shit about someone thats actually published

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

at least rushdie chose two people that would never respond

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

What is it with pseuds and being impressed by using words with the same first letter in succession? This is like a game for children. It's a perfectly pseudo-intellectual pretense providing plenty prolix pages.

MPmaster
MPmaster

You don't get it user. Shit's hilarious, the Pynchmeister would love it.

askme
askme

Pretty good assonance but still purple

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

14 year old discovered thesaurus and alliteration tier

this

holly, how many S's and P's and V's

viscount vogue of Viagratic assaults on virtual vaginas

Alliteration is fun and can have a very enhancing poetic power on a significant passage - like the opening of Lolita - , but if you use it too much it will sound comical.

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

Also:

soupçon

I dont like to offend a new writer: everybody who's out there exposing their face to the blows of the world diserve respect at least for the time invested on the work and the courage to share it with others. But damn, he is still far away from a respectable minor author.

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

Unironically as good as, if not better, than Joyce

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

Viagratic

this is an authentically good neologism.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

i could actually see pynchon liking this stuff

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

but he did you garrulous cockgargler

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Gigastrength
Gigastrength

it's great, only brainlets deride it

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New_Cliche
New_Cliche

You sound like an even gayer retard than the "pseuds" you aim to mock, fag.

Nojokur
Nojokur

l.... o.... l....

cum2soon
cum2soon

this

DFW, Pynchon, Bolano... and now Penn

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

A rancible and repugnantly reptiliant relocation of Socratic silurian syllables prancing morbidly askance the page peen vagine

5mileys
5mileys

I've always known that Rushdie was a hack, but I didn't realize that he did also

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

Cursed image

girlDog
girlDog

This is dope

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

yo dawg i heard you like alliterations

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

No he doesn't. You seem butthurt. I bet his comment made you cry a little.

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

No he doesn't
Yes he does.

Emberburn
Emberburn

Sean Penn showing scary stupid scratches, shaking soft slippery snake stiff, shaft sticks straight shooting soupy semen, slop subsistence serving skewed sight, swallowing, skeletal shiver, skeeved.

RumChicken
RumChicken

You're crying.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

This is why contemporary writers aim at Hemingway rather than Nabokov. Because hackish is serviceable and at least not this fucking embarrassing.

massdebater
massdebater

That excerpt is clearly talking about identity-infedility not infidelity you absolute cretin.

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

WOAH... Bob Dylan watch out, we got a nobel prize winner in the making.

TechHater
TechHater

Penn's prose unequivocally displays more courage than Dylan's. Which is why he won't get a Nobel and precisely why he deserves one.

TechHater
TechHater

Sean Penn? The all time most alluring actor who eludes us all like an illusion in his roles and illuminates the intricate independent spirit of humanity humbly and with hubris? The famous philanthropist philanderer philosopher who found the courage to fight for causes, for those that call out in need of care? The freedom fighter fan favorite?

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GoogleCat
GoogleCat

Wait a minute. That's like..his style... From the now famous book. Well memed, sir!

w8t4u
w8t4u

unironically hating this verbose shit right before turning around to praise Finnegans wake

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