Can you write as well as Sean Penn, Veeky Forums?

Can you write as well as Sean Penn, Veeky Forums?

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I can't do anything as well as sean penn

Please tell me this is a troll

I like the third excerpt barring "soupcon"

14 year old discovered thesaurus and alliteration tier

I'm afraid not honey who just do stuff

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The alliteration is worse than List of The Loss.

literally unreadable

>“It seems wrong to say that so dystopian a novel is great fun to read, but it’s true. I suspect that Thomas Pynchon and Hunter S. Thompson would love this book.” —Salman Rushdie
Literature is dead.

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>sean penn born 1960
>hemingway kills himself 1961


Exactly what it reminded me of.

Absolutely disgraceful that publishers are pushing this stuff out to make a quick buck.

Didn't know centurion was an adverb lmao

TIL Sheen Peen is a tryhard

I'm disgusted

Brainlet here. What the fuck does the second excerpt even mean?

I feel the same reading this as I feel reading some "patrician tier" books.

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Something about having sex with his obese wife. I don't have the stomach to decipher it any further.

If he had used a pen name, Veeky Forums would be praising this book to the heavens.

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The second excerpt is missing a comma, the third uses "soupcon" incorrectly, and it's totally unclear in the first what "sexual solitaire" has to do with infidelity (although this could be changed through context). The alliteration is totally excessive. It's not pleasant to the ear or to the eye. I pray the rest of the novel is not this bad, for his sake.

Not exactly clear what "these collisions" are, if he's referring to himself, something he's seen in real life, or something he watches. The "viagratic" part means that he avoids porn when he feels "these collisions of incubus and succubus." This description seems almost entirely pegged to the alliteration, the word "viscount" grasps at sense in the context. This prose in this book seems like it might be right up there with O I L Y S M A R T S. Who knows, maybe Seen is the one who posted that

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>talking shit about someone thats actually published

at least rushdie chose two people that would never respond

What is it with pseuds and being impressed by using words with the same first letter in succession? This is like a game for children. It's a perfectly pseudo-intellectual pretense providing plenty prolix pages.

You don't get it user. Shit's hilarious, the Pynchmeister would love it.

Pretty good assonance but still purple

>14 year old discovered thesaurus and alliteration tier


holly, how many S's and P's and V's

>viscount vogue of Viagratic assaults on virtual vaginas

Alliteration is fun and can have a very enhancing poetic power on a significant passage - like the opening of Lolita - , but if you use it too much it will sound comical.



I dont like to offend a new writer: everybody who's out there exposing their face to the blows of the world diserve respect at least for the time invested on the work and the courage to share it with others. But damn, he is still far away from a respectable minor author.

Unironically as good as, if not better, than Joyce


this is an authentically good neologism.

i could actually see pynchon liking this stuff

but he did you garrulous cockgargler

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it's great, only brainlets deride it

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You sound like an even gayer retard than the "pseuds" you aim to mock, fag.

l.... o.... l....


DFW, Pynchon, Bolano... and now Penn

A rancible and repugnantly reptiliant relocation of Socratic silurian syllables prancing morbidly askance the page peen vagine

I've always known that Rushdie was a hack, but I didn't realize that he did also

Cursed image

This is dope

>yo dawg i heard you like alliterations

No he doesn't. You seem butthurt. I bet his comment made you cry a little.

>No he doesn't
Yes he does.

Sean Penn showing scary stupid scratches, shaking soft slippery snake stiff, shaft sticks straight shooting soupy semen, slop subsistence serving skewed sight, swallowing, skeletal shiver, skeeved.

You're crying.

This is why contemporary writers aim at Hemingway rather than Nabokov. Because hackish is serviceable and at least not this fucking embarrassing.

That excerpt is clearly talking about identity-infedility not infidelity you absolute cretin.

WOAH... Bob Dylan watch out, we got a nobel prize winner in the making.

Penn's prose unequivocally displays more courage than Dylan's. Which is why he won't get a Nobel and precisely why he deserves one.

Sean Penn? The all time most alluring actor who eludes us all like an illusion in his roles and illuminates the intricate independent spirit of humanity humbly and with hubris? The famous philanthropist philanderer philosopher who found the courage to fight for causes, for those that call out in need of care? The freedom fighter fan favorite?

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Wait a minute. That's like..his style... From the now famous book. Well memed, sir!

>unironically hating this verbose shit right before turning around to praise Finnegans wake