I'm posting this here because i feel /lit knows more about human behaviour than other boards,
Sometimes i get bullied at work and i dont do anything to stop it, i think i can the thoughts that pull humans to behave like social animals i dont know if is normal or i am way to self aware anyway,
When i get bullied i dont really feel anything i dont care but theres a voice in my brain pushing me to feel rage and shame telling me that i should feel ashamed to be thrashed like this that i should do something about it and that I'm letting people that believes i am worth something down, the thing is i dont feel that voice is part of me it seems that the voice is coming from a crowded oriented personality forcing me to care about my human rank status, how do i get ride of that voice? It is possible ? With drugs or anything i am getting real tired to be bound by these thoughts
I'm posting this here because i feel /lit knows more about human behaviour than other boards
I'm posting this here because i feel /lit knows more about human behaviour than other boards,
Other urls found in this thread:
I dont think its wise to try to give up your self-respect, its a part of your psyche for a reason.
To me it just sounds like youre not strong enough to stand up for yourself, that should be what youre working on. Not that you should be a neurotic dummy who defines his self-worth through what others think of him, but I dont even think its possible to not care at all.
Take BJJ lessons or something and become more confident, youll end up climbing up the hierarchy sooner or later.
Theres another questions i missed to add, am i willingly trying to get myself in a road towards sociopathy? Does bullism by nature create sociopaths?
No, stop saying stupid shit.
Youre just a beta who was never trained to stand up for himself, just do it.
A part of goodness(or virtue) is putting yourself in a position of respect in a fair and just way - don't let people push you around, but don't be unjust or cruel when you put yourself in the position of respect, only use the necessary amount of force - like batman, he doesn't kill.
you should never let anyone else bully you.
even if you were the lowest human (which I'm absolutely positive you aren't), you don't deserve it, and that's a fact. remember that the next time it happens, and let your voice be heard.
think of it as the next step in your character development. if you can overcome this, then you'll be so much stronger and happy with yourself.
my personal opinion is also that you shouldn't fight fire with fire either. just calmly, yet stern explain to your coworkers that you'll no longer take that from them.
the worst possible outcome would be that they physically beat you, but even then you will be actually winning, since you will be standing for yourself and show strong character.
I have faith in you OP, you can do this.
I was trained to be a pussy. It didn't take. There is more to it than training. In my case, the juxtaposition of that which was with that which obviously should be fell in sharp contrast - causing easy rejection of learned behavior.
That's the thing i fail to find objective reasons to stand up for myself to gain social rank in a circlejerking group of creatures living a short life in a meaningless universe logically i should not feel anything the only times i stand up is when i feel physically threatened why should i care anons give a logical reason to care
I am not sad user i feel happy about myself untill the voice comes around i believe if i kill the crowd oriented voice i will no longer feel the need to be validated by another human or group of human beings
Theres no logical reason to eat food??? Its just something you want to do, another fact is that you want to be respected, Im going to postulate that youre just too afraid to stick up to yourself and have rationalized your beta position to a degree that your inner revolt only reveals itself to you subconsciously, which is why you described it as such an alien feeling.
Just accept it and make it part of your conscious self, dont be afraid its not a big deal.
>I am not sad user i feel happy about myself untill the voice comes around
look, you know more about yourself then I do. you're the only one who can find the right answer for this.
ask yourself this: are you actually ok with people bullying you, or did you just repress the feelings of low self-esteem so much that you believe you can just ignore them?
do you think killing the voice that tells you to stand-up for yourself is the right answer? or are you just trying to find a work-around because of you're afraid?
you should never listen to your fears. pic related
>I am not sad
>the voice comes around i believe if i kill the crowd oriented voice i will no longer feel the need to be validated by another human or group of human beings
You are fucking sad and scared but you don't know what to do and create this idea that you are superior and can't understand low behavior.
What type of job do you have, anyway?
>they want attention so give it to them
They typically want the type of attention that they get from the group that sees you being victimized - not the kind of attention that you can give them.
>find a champion
There often are no champions.
>they know how you are going to respond
This is dead on. I finally reached a breaking point with bullying in my younger years. I found solace in violence. The appeal to authority that a bully cries is precious after you clean their clock.
I was in a very similar situation when I was younger. Well, I didn't exactly get bullied because I still had everyone's respect but whenever someone insulted me I would instinctively not give a shit (I didn't even think "they're just words" or something like that, I simply would not care). I'm not sure what changed because I now get butthurt like every other human being when someone insults me. Where does your desire to not care about your "human rank status" stem from?
Every person has weaknesses. You don't need to exploit them, but you can re-contextualise your image of others inside yourself to make them small, infantile, weak, or better, worth your pitying. Start small, assess their flaws and weaknesses, keep this inside yourself so you can feel bad for them when they bully you. Then at some point when their down, after you've assessed all their weakness, stick a knife in them, a good set of blunt words at the time when their down will last in their subconsciousness for a long time. You can do it user. And don't listen to people who say this is evil, because this is justice and kindness, this is being human.
Fuck the pathologists, be kind to yourself first and let no one better you.
why do you feel bullied?. first say what kind of things they do to you.
maybe is all in your head. maybe they dont know how to treat you.
Once a guy wouldn't stop harassing me until I told him that with his nose he looks like Pinocchio. I did it a few times and he wanted to beat me up if I don't stop. I got my peace after that.
Good point, if i could stop eating and not die i would definitely stop eating i cant stand the boundaries and this voice reminding me the need to be accepted by other human beings feels way to invasive and not a part of me so I keep rejecting it i dont think accepting it is the answer if i accept it i would change and that would not be me
I literally had read books about how to behave to fit in during highschool it doesnt come very natural to me, i am an it developer
I think it all started when I slowly turned sort of nihilistic i used to care when i was younger unlike you, im 25 btw
Well people likes to make fun of me about how i am a gay idiot thats pretty much the base line everywhere i go my ex gf used to make puns about it alot i just dont understand why to my eyes i act like any normal human being but if you put me in a room with a group of people I'd bet anything i would be the one getting bullied is like people can subconsciously tell theres something wrong with me and they naturally reject me
I think people generally are good at detecting who wont stand up for themselves, who is a good target to put below you so they can appear to be climbing up a social ladder.
Just stop being that guy, thats why I said pick up BJJ or something, it will definitely change your aura and build up confidence.
Would you say you are a confident person, generally?
That seems to be the issue here, people can sense insecurities and depending on the personality type will either be friendly to you because of it or exploit it.
That's not what I meant at all. I'm talking psychological warfare user. That's the type of joke I'd say to someone I liked. You need to dig deeper into the roots of their weaknesses and suffering so that you can have compassion and pity for them first, then use that information to cut them down. You're just being a dumb bully yourself instead of using information as a tactic to make people intimidated.
You need to become your own government user.
Sometimes I am sometimes I am not i read somewhere that sort of inconsistent personality is usually how women behave maybe that's why I am seen as someone with a social low rank plus my lack of care to climb the ladder just close the circle and i am being judged as a good bully target, i will check BJJ hoping to find a quick solution that doesn't require that much energy to stop being "that guy"
>I now get butthurt like every other human being when someone insults me.
I sometimes pretend to get butthurt about direct analogs of SJW crap but I make a mockery of the whole thing. Then when someone sees the ruse and tries to ignore it:
>Fuck you, this is serious.
if you dont care about the standing on the status ladder go be a cistercian monk.
is that honest though? maybe you just want to avoid facing your shortcomings and having to be a better person so you say you dont care about the little voice as a form of rationalizing your fear of facing that reality.
>I think it all started when I slowly turned sort of nihilistic i used to care when i was younger unlike you, im 25 btw
For me it was the opposite, I went from turbonihilist to loving the world. Dunno what to tell you user.
>cuccula at all
This piques my etymological curiosity as to whether the term "cuck" may share in this root in addition to sharing a root in the cuckoo bird. I never liked the reference to the cuckoo other than "being cucked" because the cuckoo is the badass:
>Fuck you. I murdered your children. Here - keep my eggs warm and then raise my children. Sharing a root with cuccula solves a problem that otherwise would only be solved by witness to laziness in the part of the evolution of the language, which is very present.
>if you dont care about the standing on the status ladder go be a cistercian monk.
That's my plan a self sustainable house in the middle of nowhere in a forrest and hunt to eat in the summer buy food in the winter untill then I have to deal with other human beings
>is that honest though?
My subconscious is a mystery to me all i know is what my aware consciousness want and that's getting ride of any social need killing the voice should be a start my subconscious can go suck a bunch of dicks, i used to find answers in books i haven't find any so far i think i will book an appointment with a psychologist
>he thinks he will be a good hunter
>>he thinks he will be a good hunter
I think people here are giving OP wrong advice. What's the point in "standing up for himself"? That's exactly what bullies want, so that they can knock you down even harder. Even if you do manage (perhaps with great effort) to gain the strength to overcome your bullies - is it worth it? You will say that it is because you gain "self-respect", but this is exactly the "crowd-oriented personality forcing me to care about my human rank status" that OP mentioned. IMO, the best way for OP is to do what he thinks - to kill what remains of that "crowd-oriented voice". The reason that the bullies get enjoyment out of bullying is that they can tell that it hurts and humiliates you. But if OP can get rid of this voice and become totally indifferent to the bullying, they will naturally stop because they will see it has no effect on him and they will get bored.
NOTHING in the world is softer and weaker than water;
But, for attacking the hard and strong, there is nothing like it!
For nothing can take its place.
That the weak overcomes the strong, and the soft overcomes the hard,
This is something known by all, but practised by none.
Therefore, the Sage says:
To receive the dirt of a country is to be the lord of its soil-shrines.
To bear the calamities of a country is to be the prince of the world.
Indeed, Truth sounds like its opposite!
THE highest form of goodness is like water.
Water knows how to benefit all things without striving with them.
It stays in places loathed by all men.
Therefore, it comes near the Tao.
In choosing your dwelling, know how to keep to the ground.
In cultivating your mind, know how to dive in the hidden deeps.
In dealing with others, know how to be gentle and kind.
In speaking, know how to keep your words.
In governing, know how to maintain order.
In transacting business, know how to be efficient.
In making a move, know how to choose the right moment.
If you do not strive with others,
You will be free from blame.
>If you do not strive with others,
>You will be free from blame.
You had me until here. This is bullshit. We live in a blame mongering society. I am constantly badgered with blame regarding things over which I never had any control.
You can be blamed by others and still be free of blame. Like Jesus.
'cucked' is correct since they are victims (although willingly for humans) of the cuckoo strat.
'cuck' is only correct if it is short for cucked and not for cuckoo.
the alternative origin from cuccula would be interesting.
>What's the point in "standing up for himself"?
Ending a train of undue violence.
>That's exactly what bullies want, so that they can knock you down even harder.
Yes, until they fail.
>Even if you do manage (perhaps with great effort) to gain the strength to overcome your bullies - is it worth it?
You presuppose the victims weakness. I was bullied for years. My parents had very strict policies regarding fighting so I knew that I would have to answer to them. Once I started being punished while not even having defended myself, I hardened my heart to all of it and cleaned house. The punishment would be the same regardless of my conduct so why show restraint?
>You will say that it is because you gain "self-respect", but this is exactly the "crowd-oriented personality forcing me to care about my human rank status" that OP mentioned. IMO, the best way for OP is to do what he thinks - to kill what remains of that "crowd-oriented voice". The reason that the bullies get enjoyment out of bullying is that they can tell that it hurts and humiliates you.
>I agree with all of this within the appropriate context.
>But if OP can get rid of this voice and become totally indifferent to the bullying, they will naturally stop because they will see it has no effect on him and they will get bored.
I agree with this also but I have watched this evolution take years to manifest. This is a shitty solution if there is actual violence involved. Your entire post seems to presuppose conditions of non-violence. I do not consider a state of bullying to be occurring unless there is actual violence present.
>You can be blamed by others and still be free of blame.
Semantics. This is the same basic argument as the one from Diogenes:
>And, yet, I am not derided.
He WAS derided externally. He just failed to internalize the derision. The blame is still there. For this entire piece to work for me, the tenuousness of the semantics needs to be resolved.
same here, somebody tried to bully me a little a few days ago and i felt nothing
i just see it for what it is, a childish normie seeing the opportunity to put someone down to appear higher and taking it because he doesn't know any better
my mind is clear enough to see immediately how pathetic that is and it has absolutely no effect on my composition, i automatically don't want anything to do with any people who involve themselves in those kinds of games, so their slights against me and my relation to them has no meaning whatsoever
their insults aren't insulting because i don't care what someone who insults another person just to put them down thinks about me
i'd only defend myself if it got physical or if it was in the context of some hierarchy that i had no choice but to be a part of, like a job or family or something
not workplace related, but increased success with girls comes with a good cap, if you are a pussy, it makes you look less like one,
i skimmed OP's post and forgot that he said it was in a work environment
like i said in that case you might want to defend yourself to prevent it from getting annoying or uncomfortable in the future, unless you truly give no fucks whatsoever
change your fucking company
>although willingly for humans
Many "cuck" situations involve men that are submissive to their women and let the women dominate them to the point that they force them to watch them perform sexual acts on strangers that she would never perform on him. If the man does not willfully engage in such an arrangement then it is indeed acquiescence as I previously speculatively connected to "cuccula".
>ITT: cuckold obsessed americans
>in the context of some hierarchy that i had no choice but to be a part of
actually i take this back, you can probably still mentally remove yourself from a social group/hierarchy if you have the skill and the clarity of mind to do it effectively, as long as you don't care about any individuals in it
>unless you truly give no fucks whatsoever
this is just coping mechanism
you are not solving anything like this
you are just running away from the problem
this is not even about manliness, it's about you as a human being. you're not a robot, you're not devoid of feelings. there's nothing embarrassing or inferior about getting mad when someone's making fun of you. embrace your humanity and your limited time on earth by getting angry and confronting your bully.
In high school I was getting bullied so I beat up the guy. Of course the vice principal yelled at me for being a bully because I was bigger than the other kid. And my parents also punished me for it.
How retarded are people? It's so common these days to blame the victim and turn the aggressors position against those who defend themselves. Situations like this really highlight that people have no situational awareness, nor understanding of social hierarchy.