Does Hogwarts have any sex education at all...

Does Hogwarts have any sex education at all? It seems like a place like Hogwarts full of teenagers with access to mind controlling spells, memory erasing spells, love potions, polyjuice potion, secret chambers etcetera etcetera... Won't STD's and pregnacies be a huge problem in there? Not to mention rape?

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Why are people still trying to find some logic and realism in HP


Back to r/books with you boi

What's Dumbledore curricula on sex-ed?

This is a board for literature

Rape isn't real, it only exists on TV.

All the boys play soggy biscuit in the common rooms

Is there wizard prostitution?

Have people fucked their patronus before?

Yes yes we done OP well done OP




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He is really quick with his magic stick!

When would 65k be considered a really good job?

>make polyjuice potion of popular girl
>have gangbang with entire class
>shes now known as a huge slut forever

Ayo that's about 17.500 Reais a month, or about twenny minimum sallaries.
Shit's expensive in the US tho.
Also nice bonues.

you're gay, lad

can it the potion be modified so that the girl can grow a dick? i'm not homosexual, i'm just curious about it.

I'd be worried that I'd do this, enjoy it too much, and live the rest of my life as a sexy teen with a compound potion/cum addiction.

>When would 65k be considered a really good job?
Trump only takes 1$ per year as a salary

He nicknamed his penis Young Harry

>$200 for every baby after the quota
You think small, kiddo.

Bitch, there's probably fanfic about this already. Of course Rowling would never write about that, but just think of the black market there would be on such a world for magic erotica and magic sex tourism. That's probably how the Death Eaters would fund their shit in an actual scenario to be honest

I know HP is for kids but this is real. If there were Magic Terrorists they would be at the forefront for magic drugs and magic sex tourism. They'd just be the Magic Mafia but they probably wouldn't call themselves that because that sounds real gay.

They would have front businesses ironically entitled "Magic Mafia" while the actual child-centaur-elves-veelas-goblins prostitution rings would have corny mythological names like "Satyr Club"

Your friends wizard husband says he is going to the Mystical Men's Club but really hes spending time at the "Gaping Goblin" and the "Prolapsed Pixie". Someone write this, it'd probably sell.

Of course. It's like regular goy prostitution, but they are wizards.

This is now material for my new story.

>I want a dick.
>I'm not gay or anything.

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was hogwarts filled with pederasty like real british boarding schools

Reminded me of this.

>Far below, under the grateful freshness of a windsail, Stephen was sitting with his
patient Martin. They were not exactly bickering, but in both the spirit of contradiction was
distinctly present and active: present in the chaplain because of his wounds and in
Stephen because of a more than usually wretched night on top of two really trying days.
'That may be so,' said he, 'yet in the public mind the service is often associated with
drunkenness, sodomy and brutal punishment.'
'I was at a great English public school,' said Martin, 'and the vices to which you
refer were by no means uncommon there; they are I believe fairly usual whenever a large
number of men are gathered together. But what is unusual in the service, and what I have
not encountered elsewhere, is the essential good-nature. I do not speak of the seamen's
courage and altruism, which need no comments of mine, though I shall never forget those
noble fellows who dragged me back into the boat from the pahi. ..'
Stephen, cross-grained though he was that morning, really could not disagree. He
waited until Martin had finished and then said, 'You did not happen to notice a tall slim
broad-shouldered young woman with a spear, very like an undraped Athene?'
'No,' said Martin, 'I saw nothing but a swarthy crew of ill-looking female savages,
full of malignant fury, a disgrace to their sex.'
'I dare say they had been ill-used, the creatures,' said Stephen.
'Perhaps they had,' said Martin. 'But to carry resentment to the point of the
emasculation you described seems to me inhuman, and profoundly wicked.'
'Oh, as far as unsexing is concerned, who are we to throw stones? With us any girl
that cannot find a husband is unsexed. If she is very high or very low she may go her own
way, with the risks entailed therein, but otherwise she must either have no sex or be
disgraced. She burns, and she is ridiculed for burning. To say nothing of male tyranny - a
wife or a daughter being a mere chattel in most codes of law or custom - and brute force -
to say nothing of that, hundreds of thousands of girls are in effect unsexed every
generation: and barren women are as much despised as eunuchs. I do assure you,
Martin, that if I were a woman I should march out with a flaming torch and a sword; I
should emasculate right and left. As for the women of the pahi, I am astonished at their
'You would have been still more astonished at the force of their blows.'
'It is the black shame of the world that they should be deprived of the joys of love -
Tiresias said they were ten times as great as those enjoyed by men, or was it thirty? -
leaving aside the far more dubious pleasures of motherhood and keeping house.'
'Tiresias represents no more than the warm imaginings of Homer: decent women
take no pleasure in the act, but only seek to-'
'I quite agree with you in your dislike of interruptions, Maturin,' said Martin.

kek. Is Patrick O'Brian worth reading?

Yes (not that I've had much success on the few occasions I've recommended him).

1 cat hair turned Hermione into a catgirl, 1 dick hair should probably do the job.


Here's some more

>'To Ithaca itself, upon my word of honour. But would any amount of
pleading on my part or on the part of all the literate members of the ship's company induce
that animal to bear away for the sacred spot? It would not. Certainly he had heard of
Homer, and had indeed looked into Mr Pope's version of his tale; but for aught he could
make out, the fellow was no seaman. Admittedly Ulysses had no chronometer, and
probably no sextant neither; but with no more than log, lead and lookout an officer-like
commander would have found his way home from Troy a d-d sight quicker than that.
Hanging about in port and philandering, that was what it amounted to, the vice of navies
from the time of Noah to that of Nelson. And as for that tale of all his foremast hands being
turned into swine, so that he could not win his anchor or make sail, why, he might tell that
to the Marines. Besides, he behaved like a very mere scrub to Queen Dido - though on
second thought perhaps that was the other cove, the pious Anchises. But it was all one:
they were six of one and half a dozen of the other, neither seamen nor gentlemen, and
both of 'em God d-d bores into the bargain. For his part he far preferred what Mowett and
Rowan wrote; that was poetry a man could get his teeth into, and it was sound
seamanship too; in any case he was here to conduct his convoy into Santa Maura, not to
gape at curiosities.'
Then, feeling that he was exposing his friend rather too much (for the animal in question
was of course the captain of the Surprise) he laid the sheet aside and wrote 'Jack Aubrey
has faults and to spare, the Dear knows: he thinks a sailor's highest aim is to carry his
ship from A to B in the shortest possible time, losing not a minute, so that life is a kind of
perpetually harassing race, and only yesterday he was doggedly, mechanically stubborn
in his refusal to turn a little way aside so that we might view Ithaca. Yet on the other hand
(and this is my real point) he is capable of a most surprising degree of magnanimity and
self-command when the occasion calls for it: a much higher degree than you might
suppose from his impatience over trifles.

And a bit more

>They had surveyed the infamous career of Buonaparte (no end yet
in view, alas, alas), the melancholy record of Spain as an imperial power in the New World
and the almost certain liberation of her colonies - 'Though when I look at the reptiles
coming to the fore in such places as Buenos Aires,' said the Peruvian, 'I sometimes fear
that our last state may be even worse than our first' - and now, at the tail end of the night,
they returned to the geology of the Andes, and the difficulty of crossing them.
'I should never have accomplished it but for these,' 'said the Peruvian, nodding
toward the half-finished packet of coca leaves on the table between them. 'When we were
near the top of the pass the wind increased, bringing frozen pellets of snow and cutting off
one's breath, already so short at that height that every step called for two or three gasping
inhalations. My companions were in much the same condition, and two of our llamas had
died. I thought we should have to turn back, but the headman led us to something of a shelter among the rocks, took out his pouch of coca and his box of lime and passed them
round. We each chewed a ball - an acullico, we call it - and then, resuming our burdens
with the greatest ease, we walked fast up the cruel slope through the driving snow, over
the top and so down into kinder weather.'
'You do not surprise me,' said Stephen. 'Ever since the first acullico that you were
so good as to give me I have felt my mind glow, my mental and no doubt physical powers
increase. I have little doubt that I could swim the river that lies before us. I shall not do so,
however. I prefer to enjoy your conversation and my present state of remarkable wellbeing
- no fatigue, no hunger, no perplexity of mind, but a power of apprehension and synthesis
that I have rarely known before. Your coca, sir, is the most virtuous simple I have ever met
with. I had read about it in Garcilasso de la Vega and in Faulkner's account, but I had no
idea it was a hundredth part as efficacious.'
'This of course is the best flat-leaved mountain coca,' said the Peruvian. 'It was
given me by the grower, an intimate
friend, and I always travel with a substantial packet of the most recent crop. Allow me to
pour a glass of wine: there is some left in the other bottle.'

i would do practical sex ed with HERMIONE AND LUNA if you know what i mean REAL HARDCORE SEX XXX

man i have a real thing for hot witches who under the spell of my hot dicc

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They must have porn involving house elves and centaurs.

the real /d/eviants are into death eater soul-erasure porn

>sin eaters

>'I have a curious case in the sick-bay,' he said to James, as they sat digesting figgy-dowdy
with the help of a glass of port. 'He is dying of inanition; or will, unless I can stir
his torpor.'
'What is his name?'
'Cheslin: he has a hare lip.'
'I know him. A waister - starboard watch - no good to man or beast.'
'Ah? Yet he has been of singular service to men and women, in his time.'
'In what way?'
'He was a sin-eater.'
'You have spilt your port.'
'Will you tell me about him?' asked James, mopping at the stream of wine.
'Why, it was much the same as with us. When a man died Cheslin would be sent for;
there would be a piece of
bread on the dead man's breast; he would eat it, taking the sins upon himself. Then they
would push a silver piece into his hand and thrust him out of the house, spitting on him
and throwing stones as he ran away.'
'I thought it was only a tale, nowadays,' said James. 'No, no. It's common enough, under the silence. But it seems that the seamen look upon it
in a more awful light than other people He let it out and they all turned against him
immediately. His mess expelled him; the others will not speak to him, nor allow him to eat
or sleep anywhere near them There is nothing physically wrong with him, yet he will die in
about a week unless I can do something.'
'You want to have him seized up at the gangway and given a hundred lashes, Doctor,'
called the purser from the
cabin where he was casting his accounts. 'When I was in a
Guineaman, between the wars, there was a certain sorts of blacks called
Whydaws, or Whydoos, that used to die by the dozen in the Middle Passage, out of mere despair at being taken away from their country
and their friends. We used to save a good many by touching them up with a horse-whip in
the mornings. But it would be no kindness to preserve that chap, Doctor: the people would
only smother him or scrag him or shove 'him overboard in the end. They will abide a great
deal, sailors, but not a Jonah. It's like a white crow -the others peck him to death. Or an
albatross. You catch an albatross - it's easy, with a line - and paint a red cross on his
bosom, and the others will tear him to pieces before the glass is turned. Many's the good
laugh we had with them, off the Cape. But the hands will never let that fellow mess with
them, not if the commission lasts for fifty years: ain't that so, Mr Dillon?'
'Never,' said James. 'Why in God's name did he ever come into the Navy? He was a
volunteer, not a pressed man.'
'I conceive he was tired of being a white crow,' said Stephen. 'But I will not lose a patient
because of sailors' prejudices. He must be put to lie out of reach of their malignance, and
if he recovers he shall be my loblolly boy, an isolated employment.

>stupid little children
>creating or using any of the powers you listed

When you only work 3 days a week

didn't Rowling actually comment on this? I remember the tweet being somewhat absurd, does anyone have it?

Don't post this again