ARISTOTLE'S TOMB

I believe he was cremated, so it will be impossible to clone him, unfortunately.

DON'T OPEN IT
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One more boring old white male. Wow, so awesome baka senpai

>white
He was Greek

kek the lefty's are probably fucking squirming. It's nice to see more germanic philosophers being discovered. Especially as he was fucking REDPILLED.

good, now they need to find his lost books

>they crack open the tomb
>the first thing they see inside is a skeletal figure masturbating vigorously
>Aristotle was Diogenes all along

>germanic
Are you retarded friend

Aristotle was black you racist

More like
>Archeologists see that the tomb had been broken into and the coffin opened at one point
>Coffin is opened to reveal the skeletal remains of a chicken

...

What are you honestly talking about?

topest kek

Ancient Greeks were white (before the Turkening).

>they crack open the tomb
>the first thing they see inside is the skeletal figure of a Macedonian arch-mage in full regalia
>he awakes after a two thousand-year slumber
>Aristotle was not a "philosopher" at all but a sort of Merlin figure to Alexander's king Arthur
>unimaginable evil is unleashed upon the world as the Aristotle Lich finds his phylactery buried deep underground in Alexandria, Egypt
>We have to stop Aristotle before he finds Alexander's tomb and resurrects him, but who, in God's name, can stop him?
>Four heroes of light: a Platonist Paladin, a Kantian Barbarian, a Buddhist Monk and a Hindu Mage.

>>We have to stop Aristotle before he finds Alexander's tomb and resurrects him

I would rather join him

>muh eudaemonia

9 out of 11!

>you will never be a Platonic Paladin that gets his divine magic from the Forms!

>You will never be a Kantian Barbarian, who handles all the diplomacy in the party despite not being able to read.

>You will never be a Buddhist Monk that does Buddhists things

>You will never be a Hindu Mage and do some weird ceremony to summon some crazy multi-headed blue God!

Hindu Summoner is much better. Zoroastrian Mage?

It's like you wanted to add on to the joke but don't actually know a single damn historical fact.

>>You will never be a Kantian Barbarian, who handles all the diplomacy in the party despite not being able to read.
I don't get this one.

Barbarians are illiterate. Kantian philosophy shaped political philosophy.

They were as olive skinned then as they are now.

"Barbarian" because of Germans. Germans were called barbarians in ancient times. Kantism is a German philosophy...

What is olive skinned? For me olives are either green or purple...

But Kant was influenced by Hume and Rousseau.

Anglo-Saxons and Francs were Germanic too.

They were a bunch of other things too.

Besides there were a lot of German philosophers besides Kant.

And it still doesn't explain why diplomacy.

>Open tomb
>Discover Aristotle's last testament
>"Alexander and Macedonia are not Greek."

>Hindu Psion
Fixed.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siddhi

t. The desperate Hellenic tourist institute

Kant was an illiterate man.

>country in massive debt
>only a miracle can save them
>"OH BOY LOOK WHAT I'VE FOUND GUYS"

Source?

>why diplomacy.
I don't get it either. Besides there are too many spellcasters and buffers already.

It's Nietzschian Barbarian now. "Philosophizing with a hammer"...?

Better to take the remains before the chimpout rather than after.

Will resurrected Aristotle teach the Greeks how to pay denbts?

I think they're just in that WE WUZ phase.

Greek protesters will destroy it somehow, I can feel it.

The chimpout is already happening. Look around you.

Aristotle was, unironically, more historically significant than alexander

I don't think it's a phase, dude. That shit is going to be accepted history in less than 20 years. And history from that point will be incriticisable

What shit? That there was a giant Apollo statue in Rhodes?

>Turkening
I don't recall seeing Greeks who look like mongols.

No the WE WUZ-esque historic theories

You do realize that even if something gets approved of by the facebook community it doesn't make it into history?

That's why I said in less than 20 years. Which means probably around 20 years

Greeks saying they were Greeks is WE WUZ history now? Am I missing something?

I was baited into this discussion. I was not talking about greeks, I was just talking about the WE WUZ phase he refered to - which is not something greeks do at all.

But I don't think the WE WUZ phase is a phase, it's a revolution of a sort. And it has nothing to do with greeks. At all.

Did you forget how retarded /int/ is?

I don't have any idea what phenomenon you're referring to

It would be interesting if they found his skull and did genetic research on it.

For example his haplotype group, the size of the skull etc.

>find all the great Greek philosophers
Clone em!

...

/thread

>mfw they buried him with his oeuvre

Please kill yourselves

WE WUZ has always been apart of history.
100 years ago you had societies trying to tear up sites in Ireland to prove English people wuz Moses and sheeit.