Personality inspo

how to i get my old charming personality back?
i got depersonalisation from weed and now i'm just not the same
way more socially anxious, nowhere near as friendly as i was
i feel like im starting from scratch again

I can't tell if I'm just really awkward or if people just get really awkward around me because I'm attractive, tall, and dress well.

fake it till you make it

people who know me well know that im not very social
people who know me from lets say work think that im very social

i adapt quickly and very few get to see who i really are

Are you me?

is this really true?
fain confidence till you got it

im in a similar situation god damn, except idk if id call myself socially anxious. but the depersonalization makes everything 10x harder

No I am you

Yea confidence is a skill not something you're born with

i know that itll get better eventually user
everything ive read has said its not permanent
but fucki it triggers me so bad when people act like weed is fine and will make you feel better
just gotta stay confident

Thanks man, and exactly like i see people taking like 3+ drugs at once and i just wonder how i got fucked up from just weed -_-

This is exactly me, on the surface im pretty normal amd sociable but once you really get to know me you realize i cant even keep up a normal conversation for longer than a couple of minutes

>feelsbadman.jpg

who in here /isfp/

can you guys describe how depersonalization is affecting you? I think I have the same thing from weed, but I haven't been diagnosed or anything. Nothing feels real to me, I kind of lose track of where my body is and who I am, and just kind of feel like I'm not present to the environment that I'm in. It's a bitch to describe but last night I was out with some friends, and it felt like I was just watching them hang out and I wasn't really there. If they were asking me something, I'd just kind of say something generally about what they were talking about, but I didn't feel an attachment to my words or anything like that. It's been getting better the more I socialize, but for the past year or two I've just been sitting in my room studying withuot really talking to people and smoking a lot of weed. I don't know if it's depersonalization or derealization or a mix of depression + anxiety but it's really strange.

what you described is 100% how i feel
like there is a thick pane of glass between me adn everything else that is going on a round me.
i smoked once and had a panic attack that triggered the DP, since then i've been battling with anxiety, that was about a year and a half ago, however i havent really been trying that hard and have only in this month began doing actual techniques to cure my anxiety. the key to getting rid of both anxiety adn DP/DR is simply just to accept it, which is very difficulty, but its a comforting thought to know that once you accept it, it will eventually go.
stay strong x

yeah I can see how accepting and letting go would be helpful, but that's the hardest part. It's so easy to just become angry and have negative thoughts that everyone else has something wrong with them and you're fine.

I've been working full time for the past 6 months and it was so bad when I first started. I literally spent the entire day just frozen staring at the computer screen afraid to to look at anyone or talk to anyone because I thought they would instantly figure out something is wrong with me. But as soon as someone approached me I would kind of lose control and just start rambling without realizing what I was saying. I think it's some sort of emotional imbalance. It's been getting a lot better lately tho, but still far from where I was before I was smoking weed.

Best of luck to you man, it's a tough thing to deal with but thankfully it's not permanent.

sound like a cockhead, not very Veeky Forums tbqh my man

I haven't stopped faking yet. Five years since I first started pretending to have a personality, and by now I'm questioning whether I'm a sociopath.

>Spent all of my pre-teen and teen years alone, with literally no friends
>Fuck up at social interactions very easily, especially around other teens
>Get embarrassed about fucking up
>Seclude myself and prevent myself from ever learning how to be social
>Also spent my teen years truly hating myself and how I look
>Get surgery, accutane, puberty does me good, work out, lose the bit of fat I had on my face and body, etc
>Conflicted between feeling like the ugly monstrosity I was when I was younger and the supposedly attractive person I am today
>Ignore all compliments in person because I think they're lying to me

start meditating, trust me i had the same thing. was stuck to my room for about 5 years with barely any human contact. now i got a gf get along with senpai and happier and can actually feel things again

watch dogs, watch how they just enjoy the moment. that's how you want to view the world, to just stay in the present and stop thinking about irrelevant shit that's always in your head

think of meditation like exercise for your brain, the better you are at doing it the more you can stay in the present and feel better, just look up any meditation tutorial.

i for whatever reason have this stupid negative mindset where i think
'if i start meditating now, i'll be fighting it for the rest of my life and will have to meditate everyday'
do you still feel the DP/DR?
does seeing a therapist help?

>does seeing a therapist help?

i never went to a therapist. idk

>stupid negative mindset where i think
just start it, who gives a shit. it costs you nothing but time. i bet you have plenty of it

i dont do it that often once i got the ball rolling and started turning my life around

>do you still feel the DP/DR?
yes, there's still times just like this past thanksgiving where everyone is having fun and im just there sitting. i havent done anything the week leading to that i think that's the reason. keep yourself occupied with the present when you can actually start feeling in the moment and you'll be fine as long as you stay there and not revert to being autist wasting time on internet listening to the same music you've been listening to for the past 6 years lol

I'm a loud dick that makes snarky remarks about everyone and everything but I can't actually be honest because I'm afraid that makes me vulnerable.

The only thing I've ever based my interaction with other people around is that I'm not vulnerable, that there's nothing about me they can abuse. That I win every argument and every fight and nobody has dirt on me. I've succeeded in that but it's literally all I've got.

People say I'm funny and tough but nobody calls me a good friend. I think the only real friendships I had were when I was a kid, after we moved to another town and I lost my connections it's been like above.

This turned out more fit for r9k than here but whatever.

in today's society, being attractive and effay in social media is enough to get you a semi-real circle of friends

my story is not that different from yours except i've always been poor and out of shape, so I could never achieve even the most vapid sense of effayness. Eventually the art folk and attractive folk see through and move on

>black growing up in an african household
>almost exclusively white friends at school
>awesome sense of self worth and empathy
>Can be friends with almost enyone
My personality fucking bangs

Exactly the same, my relationship was 3 years, exactly the Friday I ended up the relation because I was feeling the way each other grew up wasnt getting along too much.
Feels, but I feel great.

No. Confidence is something you just have. Not genetic but confident people just have it without trying to get it. It's nurture.

You are all fucking pathetic lol

>intp
>avoidant personality disorder

>tfw

I know. And you're one lucky guy i wish i was as lucky as you

>literally all these autists with zero social skills

Practice. It's how you get better at anything. Just practice.

>white personality
>black dick

Easiest life

i feel like this, often i will lose track of what i'm doing and wander around for hours aimlessly. ive basically lost all interest in socializing with anyone, i dont even want it, im letting all my relationships decay through disuse, spending all my time reading and smoking. idk what it is but everything feels like its happening a few rooms over, like i have no connection to my body, like im wearing those big sound-blocking headphones all the time. thats how its been for me anyway

AHHHHHHHHH

People generally like me and some even consider me a novelty to be around. I've been told that people listen to and agree with me. But my personality is sarcastic, quick witted, and kind. The only thing I dislike is that people think I'm only a goof when in reality I'm a pretty thoughtful person with a lot of introspection and observation skills. I just like to act like that because its fun to me. For example my friend was genuinely surprised when they found out I was in a philosophy class. How can I make people realize I'm deeper than just joking around while maintaining my likable, lackadaisical, and not-tryhard persona?

Stop smoking weed.
Now.

Your potheads friends and b-lisr celebrities who say "nothing wrong with weed man!!" are fucking idiots. You are destroying yourself, mentally and physically. I was lied to as a kid by the degenerates around me, and I can't stand to see this happening to bright and talented young guys with a lot of potential. It won't be easy but you have to stop now, or there seriously will be no turning back.

Not everyone has to get it.
You are not a Messiah leading the dumb steeple, not everyone will get what you're doing and what you're saying and many won't like you for it and even more will think you're an idiot. If you can't get over that stress and are not OK with every single person you meet except for a small inner circle "getting it" you are not cut out for the lifestyle.

you me, and about how everyone noticed how "deep" was simply talking about that while i was drunk

>literally asking a mongolian basket weaving forum what kind of personality you should have.

Start with your interests. If you like fashion, and can talk about it, then that becomes part of your personality. If you like politics / ethics, or even have opinions, then that is part of your personality. Just because you don't talk a lot doesn't mean you don't have a persona. For the people that really are dry and uninteresting, just start learning about stuff you personally find interesting. Learn to talk about it, garner social skills from conversing with people about it (not internet skills, real interpersonal communicational skills), and eventually learn how to make interesting smalltalk. It's not that you have no personality, it's that you'e never used the one have.

>Not asperger's or ANYTHING

..Bipolar...

I know I have to stop. One of my friends became a heavy heavy stoner over the past couple of years and I can see the changes in his personality, the way he thinks, the way he carries himself, etc. It's not like he became a moron or anything, he just thinks that everything revolves around him and how he feels. It's hard to describe because everyone probably feels like that, but there's something different in the way he does it. He probably doesn't notice a difference, but being around him is really irritating sometimes.

I was a pretty smart kid in highschool, played sports, decent grades, not depressed or anxious, great relationship with my parents, not a lot of friends but was cool with almost everyone so I always had someone to talk to. I even tried weed once in grade 12, but never really cared about it until uni.

When I got to uni tho, I was pretty desperate to make some "real" friends and got to know that guy I mentioned above who introduced me to some people and we started getting high every week. Fast forward like another year and I'm vaping every night in my bathroom trying to not get caught by my parents, developed depression and anxiety which made me look forward to getting high as an escape from it, and was eventually forced to drop out from uni. My parents ended up finding out I smoke so I completely lost their trust and respect (which still doesn't feel real to me). We talked it over and found some common ground, but it still sucks to have put them through that and I still feel there's some disconnect (especially since I'm still feeling DP/DR, depressed, etc so my mind is elsewhere 90% of the time). I'm trying to turn my life around tho so progress is slowly being made.

I know this is a long blog about my life that none of you care about, but hopefully you guys don't make the same mistakes I did. I didn't even notice what was happening until it was too late. Pay attention to your life, it's the only thing that you have

Are you me?

You sound like a faggot.

i don't know man, I just feel that nobody cares about me or what I have to say. They listen to me since I am 6'5 and Veeky Forums and if I start saying something and I notice that they aren't listening I go "Hey, are you listening to me?"

I know that they don't give a shit because once I finish whatever I was talking about there are no follow up questions.

I also feel fuckall throughout the day. When I talk to people I see them almost as if they were one dimensional robots, programmed to stay in my reality.

I think they feel it, I discard people if they are uninteresting to me. If for example a girl isn't beautiful I'll just completely ignore her, won't even make eye contact. Same can be said for a dude that I see has a low social status/looks like a loser.

It's just that nothing matters anymore. You try to converse with people on a deeper level and they never give a shit, everyone is so one dimensional these days it's terrifying.

I didn't get my depersonalization from just weed but it was a bad 25nbome trip that fucked me up. But I stopped smoking for 6 months now after 2 1/2 years of self isolation and heavy weed smoking and I'm already feeling better, people don't say I look dead inside anymore, my eyes used to be hallow or thousand yard stare, and now I have a girlfriend. It'll get better just try not to focus on it too much and try to be in the moment as much as you can. Let yourself go and be natural.

My parents got divorced, mom got cancer and dad became heroin addict, our family dogs were given away, and my heart failed and am now currently only alive because of an artificial heart. I had dp/dr before all this but now it feels like an other reality. I'm just numb.

>You try to converse with people on a deeper level and they never give a shit

maybe cause you're a condescending faggot who thinks he's better than everyone

reality check not everyone has to try and like you and they're doing the same exact shit you described

holy shit you are dumb

trying to have "deep conversations" lmao

you're just projecting your self onto other people

>only interacts with hot girls and the popular dude-bros
>is surprised none of them have any desire to have deep conversations

interacting with people based on shallow qualities will lead you to only have shallow conversations, you will have better luck talking to the autistic engineers and pretentious philosophy students

>isn't interested in other people
>just wants the people he deems worthy to give their comments on his glorious deep opinions
>can't believe other people notice this about him and thereby specifically avoid converstations with him

i've met people like you irl who just want echoes of their own opinion, i always ignore until conversation subject changes

Is this whole thread gonna be people bitching about their personality? I was expecting advice for improvement honestly.

Is this book any good?

old fashioned but it works, most other books on the subject are based off this one tbqh

also unironically reppin reddit. Ive been through some subreddits and posts before that have solid social technique advice

Which ones?

That's messed up man. I can't even imagine what you must be going through

>subreddits and posts before that have solid social technique advice
any links?
is a good book, I'm about to reread it again

>grew up almost entirely around television
>entire childhood was spent watching Seinfeld, The Simpsons, The Critic, Duckman, Frasier, Drew Carey Show and other shit of the time
>have ended up with personality traits from various characters of those shows
>fashionwise i dress like a late 90s New Yorker
>shows also affected my accent drastically so its a combination of Mid-Atlantic and NYC
>not even sure if i'm real or just a real life combination of TV characters

how do people like u

I feel like a big part of my personality is Dennis from It's Always Sunny

They think I'm pretty funny, confident and have a charm about me but I really don't see it. I kind of hate that I've in some way grown up without my own personality.

You're not alone, I know a guy just like Dennis. Funny thing is he hates the show and has never watched more than 5 minutes.

I'd just like people to not only think of me as a jokester.

This is incoherent

Whys that?

are you me? I am even thinking of getting in a sociology/psychology/philosophy class

>Ignore all compliments in person because I think they're lying to me
are you me?

Nice, average, thats about it

How do I get a personality?

People want to get to know me then after a while they stop trying cause there's nothing to know

they dont give a shit because what you're saying is probably fucking stupid, my man

>be seen as that one crazy guy
>quiet one minute amd explosive the next
>kind of a loner
>avoid people when I can
>dry sense of humor
>everyone thinks I'm going to shoot everyone.
I just want to be seen as a person not a hazard

>mild autism from genetics
>this leads limited social interaction
>limited social interactions feeds back into autism and itself and i end up regularly interacting with a handful of people for most my life
>avoid people and never develop a good set of social skills
>crave affection

That is actually pretty Veeky Forums.

Yo, let's meet up homie

Do you study in Ohio by any chance?

>move around a lot when i was younger
>can make friends quickly cause kids were always interested in the new kid that moved in
>finally get tired of this cycle of making new friends then leaving after a while and stop trying
>turn into autism with no feelings except when im in front of computer

how do i stop this guys. i just want to be able to open up to people again

>I'm also philosophically an egoist, and have type II bipolar
sounds right

>had lots of friends through childhood to 15 years old
>social life dropped off in high school
>still read, researched, and was intellectually inclined but socially pretty retarded
>now have a bizarre sense of humor almost no normal people can sympathize with because of years of internet use and am literally too intelligent to have conversations that are engaging for me with most other people
>have a few acquaintances from work I sometimes do things with, and two friends I actually see on a somewhat regular basis but otherwise am pretty socially inactive
>am able to be sociable with people, but most of it is forced and not at all natural, I just know how to act amiable; If I'm ever in a shit mood it fades and I'll start to avoid eye contact, mumble words, etc.
>aesthetically normally rated 8/10, tall, and get regular compliments on the clothes that I wear, although don't normally have a response other than "oh, thanks"

I'm more or less okay with my personality, my only experience regularly socializing with others is work, I may gain more friends if I actually ran in areas that intrigued me, but my social retardation hinders me from being able to communicate with strangers outside of environments where I'm forced to be with them (ie: school, work). Embarrassingly, the only people I talk with regularly are ones I've fucked or who at one time had the impression that I wanted to fuck them. My outer shell can seemingly only be broken with the jackhammer of sexual tension.

do you have a gf?

>am literally too intelligent to have conversations that are engaging for me
Every time I hear this it's because the person has no real interests, hobbies, or creativity so they can't empathize with normal humans.

This shit is the easiest thing to get over. Don't worry about what other people think about you, just be yourself and enjoy being yourself. If other people don't like you thats not your problem.

I used to have this problem too but its easy to get rid of, just stop being a pretentious shit head ;)

This is so accurate.

Nah, I've "seen" a couple guys before. I don't really want to be with guys in the future though, I feel like my homofaggotry was just a compensating mechanism for my completely dead sex life.

Have had a few girls interested in me, but none I returned the attraction towards.

I was expecting this response, and I actually do have quite a few hobbies, in contrast to most people I meet who have few or none.

Most people fill their time with social media, gossip or inane consumer media. For instance, the people that I do share interests with, take music or literature, stop being able to hold a conversation with me once I go into persons or ideas they're unfamiliar with. Either that or they get bored of the subject fast, which usually means they just expressed the interest to seem interesting.

Just from my experience with "normies", their conversation is almost entirely about other people in their life or themselves.

I'm a chain smoker too if that helps
Sounds fun
Nope

>tfw I am the most boring fuck I know

What is the worst moment your horrible personality has caused you guys?

>Be me, Italian
>In a nice fancy fashion store in Milan
>Looking at expensive clothes I can't afford
>Looking at some coats
>I am looking pretty good this day
>Girl is working at the store
>She approaches me and asks if I need assitsance
>she smile so I assume she is hitting on me
>try to come with a smart line
>However because I have no fucking personality I think of nothing
>think about catwalks and ramps
>shout at her 'I WOULD WEAR THESE COATS AT THE FASHION SHOW, AND YOU AT THE GIRLFRIEND SHOW'
>she gets creeped out and says 'ok sir' and sculps away

fuck I hate my shit

>just be yourself
JUST

If you don't like yourself, user, make changes to be the person you want to be.

If you hate being socially awkward, talk more.

It sounds like the stupid, non-advice, incomprehensible thing anybody could say, but you have to practice if you want to get better.

>the people that I do share interests with, take music or literature, stop being able to hold a conversation with me once I go into persons or ideas they're unfamiliar with
what do you expect from normies? of course they have surface-level knowledge, most people do. if they're interested in philosophy, talk to them about Nietzsche, or Kant, not that one obscure academic philospher only a handful of people know about
if they're interested in music, talk to them about aphex twin or bob dylan, not that totally rad japanese experimental freak-folk band, unless you're 100% sure they're into that

>philosophically an egoist
my man
>type II bipolar
stay the fuck away from me though

Then you simply have different interests compared to the average person you meet. I don't expect a normie to share my interest in fashion but I also don't consider myself more intelligent for it. I empathize with that and introduce the subject at the level of interest I think they will have. If they express more interest I introduce more and hope they feel some of the passion I have.The problem is empathy not superior intelligence.
>tfw a friend of my mine recently bought his first yohji piece

I swear I'm not psycho, I only get hypomania, by full on mania

*not full on

anxietybustersblog.com/?p=344

it's not that youhave no personality
it's that you are insecure bitch ass faggot