What's le most effay way to get out of bed?

what's le most effay way to get out of bed?

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Keep a bowl of sliced lemons next to your bed
In the morning, place a lemon wedge in your mouth
The sour taste will jolt you awake
Keep several frogs in your room to prevent fruit flies
Finally house one bird of pray to limit the frogs' population growth

then what limits the "bird of pray" population growth?

Grab a cigarette as soon as you wake up smoke a puff in bed then slowly get out and make some coffee

>"slowly get out and open a sugar free red bull"

This.

The fact that there's only one of them dipshit

Roll out of bed onto the floor. Time the music of your alarm to play Smash Mouth's "All Star" to the moment of impact.

Make sure you have a hangover. Every single time.

dont

Having your dead body carried out by coroners after your mom finds you unresponsive due to drug overdose

By doing the Shawn Michael's kick up thing.

>frogs
just keep some spiders in your room

but what if it lays eggs?

Have yah self some ol' eggs and bacon

>Wake up 30sec before your alarm clock
>turn off said alarm before it rings
>immediately rise up to sit in your bed
>quick glance around the room
>stand up from the bed
if you don't replicate this advice 100% you will never be ~effay~

how the hell are spiders gonna catch flies?

flies fly, spiders don't

...wah

that's just autistic and gay as fuck

not effay at all

>quick glance around your room
literal cringe

bet you sleep with a fucking katana under your pillow

on the wrong side

Ahahahaha
>katana

I read that as banana

...

what?

in a web? why would a fly fly into a web? surely they can see it

That is literally how they eat.

the fuck? r-really?

youtube.com/watch?v=athRDwYpw_Q

yep, they even use a little knife and fork to eat them all up

Fall out with a surprised yell, every single morning. Flailing is optional but recommended.

Surely after like a week you'd stop being surprised

No, since you're asleep each time it's always a shock.

....

what the fuck is going on here

Wake up an hour before your alarm goes off. Rub your boner against the sheets until you feel the urge to masturbate. Feel the urge to pee next and lay in bed browsing threads you were shitposting in yesterday until the boner goes away. Pee and get ready, but then your alarm goes off so you go back to your bed and fall asleep again

lrn2spider m8