Funny fashion stories

Ill start

>work in retail
>help with clothes and get people shoes n shit easy
>couple comes in
>some weird european ethnicity
>wife is really fucking hot
>they ask for some shoes for the husband
>size fkn 6 haha
>"ill have a look but i don't think we stock that size"
>bring out a size 8
>guy tries it on obviously huge on him
>he really likes them so he goes for a walk around the shop
>wife starts talking to me
>i don't like to toot my own horn but
>i'm pretty good looking
>wife is an obvious flirt
>says she wishes her husbands "feet" weren't so small
>"yeah i guess that could a problem haha"
>she starts giggling
>asks what size i am
>"ahh about 7-8 inches"
>she starts blushing
>"i meant your foot size"
>i just pull a smirk
>husband comes back says he'll take the shoes
>put them through all while me and the wife are smiling at each other
>next day
>close to closing almost no one around
>hot wife comes in
>wants to return the shoes from yesterday
>"they were to big for him right?"
>"yeah he is so tiny"
>"that must be hard"
>"if you count 4 inches as hard"
>both start laughing
>asks if she can exchange the shoes for some clothes
>tell her i'm closing the doors but she can stay and pick out some clothes
>smiles and says i'm so nice and my girlfriend must be one lucky girl
>"yeah she seems happy"
>"i bet she is"
>she grabs some clothes and heads to the change room
>comes out a couple minutes later in a XXL singlet and no pants
>"do you think this fits?"
>"mmm a smaller size might fit a little better"
>yeah that's what i thought
>"ill go get it for you"
>take it to her in the change room
>shes not wearing the singlet any longer
>"do you like them?"
>easily 10/10 tits
>just start kissing her
>proceed to fuck this milf for the next hour and a half in the change room

and that's how small shoes made me lose my milfginity, fuck i love fashion

nice fantasy user

what was the point of typing all that out, you sperg?

Why would you go on the internet and tell lies?

This, op just saw porn for the first time.

My penis died of boredom.

Hahaha that was really funny user

yeah it's 'day 23 of trying to lose the urge to pursue women' for me

>Girl comes up to me
>let me ride the roller coaster daddy
>okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
>nut

NOICE
post this on r/greentext OP :D

>while we're fucking i hear some footsteps coming towards the room
>too caught in the moment to stop
>fuck
>remember the manager hadn't left yet
>manager opens the door
>fall on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

kill yourself

Here's something that happened to me a short time after I started browsing Veeky Forums (again)
>go to dinner with friends in the city
>at a bar/restaurant
>sit down and look around
>see a guy at dinner with his parents
>he's wearing nicely cut pants, sweater and ozweegos
>have to double take because i would have never expected to see them in this country
>look him in the eye
>he meets my look with a mix of shame and desperation
I wonder if you browse here

What a gay

Here's my story
>work at forever 21
>sluts come in
>They ask where the high-waisted shorts are
>tell them thier over yonder
>They all giggle at my use of the word yonder
>tell them if they need any help I'll be in the fitting room
>I laugh as they come to me for help and we don't have the shorts in thier size
> we did

Truly I am the most evil of biengs.

this is the most autistic thing I've ever read

Is 5 inches small?

>wearing my lucky panda tie
>gotta deliver an envelope to another office
>give envelope to lady at desk
>"I like your tie"
>"thank you, it is for prosperity in the new year"
>felt great the rest of the day

pic related, my panda tie

>be me
>fuck
yeah im pretty cool I was also wearing my rafs (Raf Simmons)

Not funny but a sad story
>wanted to buy cropped trousers since forever
>don't like most of the models
>finally found ones that look perfect
>feel a bit tight for my size
>whatever
>spend an equivalent of 160 bucks on them
>wear them for several days
>go to a party
>dance like a maniac after several drinks
>feel a pretty distinctive loosening sensation right in the junk area
>of no
>find a 10 cm wide gaping hole in my pants
>take them to the best tailor in town
>she says they won't look the same but she will make the best of it
>drop around 40 bucks on it
>looks really good actually, almost if her seam was a part of design
>wear very carefully again
>2 days later
>feel the same sensation
>ripped in the same spot

Had to throw them away after that for good. Such a shame really.

>queuing for a yung lean gig
>skinny lad behind me dressed in full meme
>hear him say to his friends "nobody's noticed my rubshinksiy yet" in a whiny voice
>turn around and say "is that goscha"
>he looks surprised and happy and says it is
>feel good knowing that I satisfied the autism of a Veeky Forumsggot

i thought this was supposed to be funny

It's nothing impressive, but it's about average it seems.

t. 7 inches

Global average is 6" according to most.

I like your tie but I find it hard to ever see it incorporated into a fit

don't u mean raf semens since you got to shoot your semens?

I heard somewhere that global average is about 5.3, not sure how accurate that is though

i really like this story

>used a retarded word
>got laughed at
>lied to some customers for no reason
>im so evil xd

> be me at h & m for the first time.
> fuckingcrowded.jpg
> huge line for register
> slither between the crowd
> feel something brush my back
> someone screams and there is a loud crash
> a full sized wood mannequin on a pedestal fell over, directly on the people in line
> keepwalkin.avi

Yup. It was my fault. Never look back and you wont look guilty.

...

>TFW you were in the crowd

I was waiting for this ending

When has average ever been acceptable? Tiny penises should just resign themselves to being traps and if they can't do that they should kill themselves

This made me feel good. Thanks for the share user. Where did you get that panda tie? Makes me want to get a fun tie now.

jesus christ im drunker than i thought that killed me

You live in sf?

AMAZING

who's that dream gf

You are the definition of faggot aren't you

don't mean to undermine your story, but i always held the perception that milfs are low hanging fruit. there are always exceptions, but they're just not that sexually appealing

>Ameritard intellectual

/devilish/

me: *conditioning my shoes*

shoes: yes daddy rub it all over me

me: what

>tell them if they need any help I'll be in the fitting room

wth were you doing in the fitting room?

he was probably stationed there. many stores have someone work as the gatekeeper of the fitting rooms

>queuing for a yung lean gig

Cringe