>work in retail >help with clothes and get people shoes n shit easy >couple comes in >some weird european ethnicity >wife is really fucking hot >they ask for some shoes for the husband >size fkn 6 haha >"ill have a look but i don't think we stock that size" >bring out a size 8 >guy tries it on obviously huge on him >he really likes them so he goes for a walk around the shop >wife starts talking to me >i don't like to toot my own horn but >i'm pretty good looking >wife is an obvious flirt >says she wishes her husbands "feet" weren't so small >"yeah i guess that could a problem haha" >she starts giggling >asks what size i am >"ahh about 7-8 inches" >she starts blushing >"i meant your foot size" >i just pull a smirk >husband comes back says he'll take the shoes >put them through all while me and the wife are smiling at each other >next day >close to closing almost no one around >hot wife comes in >wants to return the shoes from yesterday >"they were to big for him right?" >"yeah he is so tiny" >"that must be hard" >"if you count 4 inches as hard" >both start laughing >asks if she can exchange the shoes for some clothes >tell her i'm closing the doors but she can stay and pick out some clothes >smiles and says i'm so nice and my girlfriend must be one lucky girl >"yeah she seems happy" >"i bet she is" >she grabs some clothes and heads to the change room >comes out a couple minutes later in a XXL singlet and no pants >"do you think this fits?" >"mmm a smaller size might fit a little better" >yeah that's what i thought >"ill go get it for you" >take it to her in the change room >shes not wearing the singlet any longer >"do you like them?" >easily 10/10 tits >just start kissing her >proceed to fuck this milf for the next hour and a half in the change room
and that's how small shoes made me lose my milfginity, fuck i love fashion
Nathaniel Lee
nice fantasy user
Ayden Evans
what was the point of typing all that out, you sperg?
William Barnes
Why would you go on the internet and tell lies?
Gavin Young
This, op just saw porn for the first time.
Evan Morris
My penis died of boredom.
Ian Torres
Hahaha that was really funny user
Evan Rivera
yeah it's 'day 23 of trying to lose the urge to pursue women' for me
Evan Adams
>Girl comes up to me >let me ride the roller coaster daddy >okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay >nut
Hudson Barnes
NOICE post this on r/greentext OP :D
Zachary Ortiz
>while we're fucking i hear some footsteps coming towards the room >too caught in the moment to stop >fuck >remember the manager hadn't left yet >manager opens the door >fall on the floor >everybody walk the dinosaur
Wyatt Bennett
kill yourself
Dominic Ramirez
Here's something that happened to me a short time after I started browsing Veeky Forums (again) >go to dinner with friends in the city >at a bar/restaurant >sit down and look around >see a guy at dinner with his parents >he's wearing nicely cut pants, sweater and ozweegos >have to double take because i would have never expected to see them in this country >look him in the eye >he meets my look with a mix of shame and desperation I wonder if you browse here
Lucas Watson
What a gay
Here's my story >work at forever 21 >sluts come in >They ask where the high-waisted shorts are >tell them thier over yonder >They all giggle at my use of the word yonder >tell them if they need any help I'll be in the fitting room >I laugh as they come to me for help and we don't have the shorts in thier size > we did
Truly I am the most evil of biengs.
Jonathan Murphy
this is the most autistic thing I've ever read
Jackson Young
Is 5 inches small?
Matthew Perry
>wearing my lucky panda tie >gotta deliver an envelope to another office >give envelope to lady at desk >"I like your tie" >"thank you, it is for prosperity in the new year" >felt great the rest of the day
pic related, my panda tie
Gavin Brown
>be me >fuck yeah im pretty cool I was also wearing my rafs (Raf Simmons)
Xavier Powell
Not funny but a sad story >wanted to buy cropped trousers since forever >don't like most of the models >finally found ones that look perfect >feel a bit tight for my size >whatever >spend an equivalent of 160 bucks on them >wear them for several days >go to a party >dance like a maniac after several drinks >feel a pretty distinctive loosening sensation right in the junk area >of no >find a 10 cm wide gaping hole in my pants >take them to the best tailor in town >she says they won't look the same but she will make the best of it >drop around 40 bucks on it >looks really good actually, almost if her seam was a part of design >wear very carefully again >2 days later >feel the same sensation >ripped in the same spot
Had to throw them away after that for good. Such a shame really.
Benjamin Long
>queuing for a yung lean gig >skinny lad behind me dressed in full meme >hear him say to his friends "nobody's noticed my rubshinksiy yet" in a whiny voice >turn around and say "is that goscha" >he looks surprised and happy and says it is >feel good knowing that I satisfied the autism of a Veeky Forumsggot
Parker Cooper
i thought this was supposed to be funny
Colton Russell
It's nothing impressive, but it's about average it seems.
t. 7 inches
Camden Gutierrez
Global average is 6" according to most.
Carter Barnes
I like your tie but I find it hard to ever see it incorporated into a fit
Isaiah Martin
don't u mean raf semens since you got to shoot your semens?
Austin Sullivan
I heard somewhere that global average is about 5.3, not sure how accurate that is though
Tyler Foster
i really like this story
Nathan Murphy
>used a retarded word >got laughed at >lied to some customers for no reason >im so evil xd
Jonathan Nguyen
> be me at h & m for the first time. > fuckingcrowded.jpg > huge line for register > slither between the crowd > feel something brush my back > someone screams and there is a loud crash > a full sized wood mannequin on a pedestal fell over, directly on the people in line > keepwalkin.avi
Yup. It was my fault. Never look back and you wont look guilty.
Asher Cox
...
Carson Morgan
>TFW you were in the crowd
Julian Morgan
I was waiting for this ending
Adrian Jackson
When has average ever been acceptable? Tiny penises should just resign themselves to being traps and if they can't do that they should kill themselves
Logan Harris
This made me feel good. Thanks for the share user. Where did you get that panda tie? Makes me want to get a fun tie now.
Zachary Davis
jesus christ im drunker than i thought that killed me
Wyatt Ross
You live in sf?
Levi Hill
AMAZING
James Fisher
who's that dream gf
John Morales
You are the definition of faggot aren't you
Ayden Reed
don't mean to undermine your story, but i always held the perception that milfs are low hanging fruit. there are always exceptions, but they're just not that sexually appealing
John Rodriguez
>Ameritard intellectual
Jason Reyes
/devilish/
Hunter Long
me: *conditioning my shoes*
shoes: yes daddy rub it all over me
me: what
David Cox
>tell them if they need any help I'll be in the fitting room
wth were you doing in the fitting room?
Jack Ross
he was probably stationed there. many stores have someone work as the gatekeeper of the fitting rooms