Who was the most absolute madman in history?

Who was the most absolute madman in history?
>pirates hold him ransom
>he demands they ask a higher ransom

>befriends the pirates
>after being freed goes out and raises a fleet
>captures the pirates
>crucifies them

Okay so just because he knew his worth he's a mad man?

What a fucking insult they tried to put that bitch ass ransom on him in the first place.

>He held them in such disdain that whenever he lay down to sleep he would send and order them to stop talking.

>For thirty-eight days, as if the men were not his watchers, but his royal bodyguard, he shared in their sports and exercises with great unconcern.

>He also wrote poems and sundry speeches which he read aloud to them, and those who did not admire these he would call to their faces illiterate Barbarians, and often laughingly threatened to crucify them all. The pirates were delighted at this, and attributed this boldness of speech to a certain simplicity and boyish mirth.

Nahhh senpai, Alkibiades would totally outdo him

>Gauls set up siege waiting for reinforcements
>Caesar sets up siege around them
absolute madman move because he probably did it to get that sweet roman treasury himself, since he was assured the rights to hunt them down afterwards, making it a gambit with his own life at risk.

You think this shits mad too nigga?

So because a man knows he's worth more than what he is valued at AND has the balls to still get whatever he wants he's a mad man? I think you guys are mad if you'll allow yourself to be put up for a tiny ransom then just leave without bashing the people who kidnapped you, especially if they were dumb enough to think you were their friend after they forcibly kidnapped you nigga.

Julius Caesar was just a real ass nigga like Tony Soprano or Lucky Luciano. Its okay, real only recognizes real. Its clear to see you can't recognize real because y'all fake.

>After his friends returned with the ransom, which had been dutifully provided by allied communities eager to oblige a man who might in time become a useful connection at Rome, Caesar was released.

>The city of Miletus on the western coast of Asia seems to have provided the bulk of the money and Caesar immediately hurried there. He was twenty-five years old and a private citizen who had never held elected office, but this did not prevent him from persuading and cajoling the provincials to gather and crew a number of warships.

>Taking charge of this force, he led it straight back to Pharmacussa to attack his former captors. Complacently the pirates were still in the camp on shore, their ships beached and in no position to resist.

>Caesar's improvised squadron took them prisoner and captured their amassed plunder, including his own ransom.

>The 50 talents was presumably repaid to the donor communities, while Caesar took the prisoners to Pergamum where they were imprisoned. He then went to the Roman governor of Asia to arrange for the pirates' execution.

>However, the propraetor Marcus Iuncus showed little interest in imposing the punishment that Caesar had repeatedly promised to inflict. He was currently occupied in organising Bithynia into the Roman province, for Nicomedes had recently died and bequeathed his realm to Rome. Iuncus saw the opportunity to profit by selling the pirates as slaves, and was also eager to appropriate some of their captured plunder for himself.

>When it became clear that he would not act quickly at the behest of some young patrician, Caesar hastened back to Pergamum and ordered the prisoners to be crucified. He had no legal authority to do this, although no one was likely to question the execution of a group of raiders. In this way Caesar fulfilled his promise.

absolute kekkerino

>However, he had clearly developed some regard for the men during his time with them, and anyway wished to show his merciful nature, so that he had each pirate's throat cut before they were crucified, sparing them a lingering and extremely painful death.

Also refused to divorce his wife when the mighty Sulla forced him to do so.

You forgot the one where he throws away a berry he found, screaming "Away with the tyrant!"

Diogenes; the madman version of Buddha.
>masturbated in public
>urinated on people who pissed him off
>took a dump at the theatre several times
>told Alexander the Great to go fuck himself
>carried a lamp around in broad daylight (so he could find an "honest man")
>humiliated Plato at his lectures

Also, here's an amusing passage I came across
>When Plato gave Socrates's definition of man as "featherless bipeds" and was much praised for the definition, Diogenes plucked a chicken and brought it into Plato's Academy, saying, "Behold! I've brought you a man." After this incident, "with broad flat nails" was added to Plato's definition.

even at like 15 years old he had contacts with marian clients even though sulla had gone full assmad hunting those fuckers all over the place.

Sorry for reposting . Forgot the image.

Once, when he was suffering from hunger, Han Xin met a woman who provided him with food. He promised to repay her for her kindness after he had made great achievements in life, but it was rebuffed by her. On another occasion, a hooligan saw Han Xin carrying a sword and challenged him to either kill him or crawl through between his legs. Han Xin knew that he would become a criminal if he killed him, hence instead of responding to the taunts, he crawled through between the hooligan's legs and was laughed at.

Several years later, after becoming the King of Chu, Han Xin returned to his hometown and found the woman who fed him and rewarded her with 1,000 taels of gold. Han Xin also found the hooligan and instead of taking revenge, he appointed the hooligan as a zhongwei (中尉; equivalent to a present-day lieutenant). He said, "This man is a hero. Do you think I could not have killed him when he humiliated me? I would not become famous even if I killed him then. Hence, I endured the humiliation to preserve my life for making great achievements in future."

>Julius Caesar was just a real ass nigga like Tony Soprano or Lucky Luciano.
>Compares Caesar with some fantasy italo-gyps

are you fucking retarded?

"Do you know any man who, even if he has concentrated on the art of oratory to the exclusion of all else, can speak better than Caesar ?" - Cicero (a cuck that wanted to be as good at oratory as Caesar but had to contend with law)
I'm not buying it, there's something sexual going on with the hooligan. might be his wifes bull. There's certainly no reason to believe he wasn't legitimately frightened at the time.

I'm pretty sure "crawling between his legs" should be taken less literally, yes. Even the painting is rather suggestive.

>"crawling between his legs"
you do understand that's an euphemism for sexually pleasing him. he was probably attacked by a bandit that told him "your honour or your life".

No.

are you a nigger?

>Also, here's an amusing passage I came across
>came across
You literally copypasted all of this from Wikipedia you fag.

I cringed so hard that I think my testicles aren't going to come out of my torso for a month. Thanks a lot.

I think that was pretty blatant shitposting my friends.

oh, when the Holy Roman Empire isn't mentioned at any point it's hard to tell

In 415 BC, delegates from the Sicilian city of Segesta (Greek: Egesta) arrived at Athens to plead for the support of the Athenians in their war against Selinus. During the debates on the undertaking, Nicias was vehemently opposed to Athenian intervention, explaining that the campaign would be very costly and attacking the character and motives of Alcibiades, who had emerged as the supporter of the expedition. On the other hand, Alcibiades argued that a campaign in this new theatre would bring riches to the city and expand the empire, just as the Persian Wars had. In his speech Alcibiades predicted (over-optimistically, in the opinion of most historians) that the Athenians would be able to recruit allies in the region and impose their rule on Syracuse, the most powerful city of Sicily.[23] In spite of Alcibiades's enthusiastic advocacy for the plan, it was Nicias, not he, who turned a modest undertaking into a massive campaign and made the conquest of Sicily seem possible and safe.[24] It was at his suggestion that the size of the fleet was significantly increased from 60 ships[25] to "140 galleys, 5,100 men at arms, and about 1300 archers, slingers, and light armed men".[26] Philosopher Leo Strauss underscores that the Sicilian expedition surpassed everything undertaken by Pericles. Almost certainly Nicias's intention was to shock the assembly with his high estimate of the forces required, but, instead of dissuading his fellow citizens, his analysis made them all the more eager.[27] Against his wishes Nicias was appointed General along with Alcibiades and Lamachus, all three of whom were given full powers to do whatever was in the best interests of Athens while in Sicily.[28]

Alcibiades first rose to prominence when he began advocating aggressive Athenian action after the signing of the Peace of Nicias. That treaty, an uneasy truce between Sparta and Athens signed midway through the Peloponnesian War, came at the end of seven years of fighting during which neither side had gained a decisive advantage. Historians Arnold W. Gomme and Raphael Sealey believe, and Thucydides reports,[13] that Alcibiades was offended that the Spartans had negotiated that treaty through Nicias and Laches, overlooking him on account of his youth.[14][15]

Disputes over the interpretation of the treaty led the Spartans to dispatch ambassadors to Athens with full powers to arrange all unsettled matters. The Athenians initially received these ambassadors well, but Alcibiades met with them in secret before they were to speak to the ecclesia (the Athenian Assembly) and told them that the Assembly was haughty and had great ambitions.[16] He urged them to renounce their diplomatic authority to represent Sparta, and instead allow him to assist them through his influence in Athenian politics.[17] The representatives agreed and, impressed with Alcibiades, they alienated themselves from Nicias, who genuinely wanted to reach an agreement with the Spartans.[16] The next day, during the Assembly, Alcibiades asked them what powers Sparta had granted them to negotiate and they replied, as agreed, that they had not come with full and independent powers. This was in direct contradiction to what they had said the day before, and Alcibiades seized on this opportunity to denounce their character, cast suspicion on their aims, and destroy their credibility. This ploy increased Alcibiades's standing while embarrassing Nicias, and Alcibiades was subsequently appointed General.

Is this some new form of shitposting where you just copy paste crappy Wikipedia articles what the fuck lads come on

This

>On February 4 Voltaire was lunching at the house of the Duc de Sully when a message came that someone wished to see him at the palace gate. He went.

>Six ruffians pounced upon him and beat him mercifully. Rohan, directing the operation from his carriage, cautioned them, “Don’t strike his head; something good may come out of that.”

>Voltaire rushed back to the house, and asked Sully’s aid in taking legal action against Rohan; Sully refused. The poet retired to a suburb, where he practiced swordsmanship. Then he appeared at Versailles, resolved to demand “satisfaction” from the Chevalier. The law made dueling a capital crime. A royal order bade the police watch him.

>Rohan refused to meet him. That night, to the relief of everyone concerned, the police arrested the poet, and he found himself again in the Bastille. “The family of the prisoner,” reported the lieutenant general of the Paris police, “applauded unanimously… the wisdom of an order which kept the young man from committing some new folly.”

>Voltaire wrote to the authorities defending his conduct, and offering to go in voluntary exile to England if released. He was treated as before, with every comfort and consideration.

>His proposal was accepted; after fifteen days he was freed, but a guard was ordered to see him to Calais. Members of the government gave him letters of introduction and recommendation to prominent Englishmen, and the Queen continued to pay his pension. At Calais he was entertained by friends while waiting for the next boat to sail.

>On May 10 he embarked, armed with books for the study of English, and not unwilling to see the country in which, he had heard, men and minds were free.

> Holy
> Roman
> Empire

OK let me put it into green text

>it is the end of the Peloponnesian war and everyone is relieved that the most bloody conflict in Greek history is finally over
>Everyone except Alciabedes that is, who, being an incorrigible narcissist is butthurt that he Nicias was picked to negotiate the peace instead of him
>After seven years, the peace is becoming strained, and the Spartans send an emergency delegation to patch things up with Athens
>Alciabedes convinced the Spartans that he can negotiate better terms while securing peace, and gets the Spartans to pretend that they don't have full diplomatic authority
>The next day, he asks them if they have diplomatic authority
>"No"
>"AHA! but just yesterday you said you did. These Spartans are duplicitous LIARS. WAR WITH SPARTA NOW!
>to Nicias' dismay, Alciabedes is appointed general in the new war Against Sparta
>Years pass. And Alciabedes gets up to all sorts of wacky hijinks
>Later, Alciabedes starts agitating for war with Sicily
>"It'll be easy, 60 ships is enough
>Nicias, wary of Alciabedes' intentions tries to dissuade the assembly by pointing out that they'd need a lot more ships
>"We'd need at least twice as many ships, and like 6000 soldiers!"
>Nicias' plan backfires and the assembly takes his plan seriously "hmm, that just might work! Nicias, since it was your idea, you will lead he expedition!"

Cue Nicias looking at the camera angrily while a disappointment trombone plays.

As expected, the fake couldn't recognize the real.


Real recognises real. Keep it real my nigga. Julius was a real ass nigga.

Well, wasn't that nice of him.

what a bitch

Didn't he also cuck Cato the Younger, by sleeping with his wife, and sister, and later on had horse shit thrown on him in the senate?

>Didn't he also cuck Cato the Younger, by sleeping with his wife, and sister, and later his horse?
FTFY

didn't exist

>Makes political alliances with both Pompey, and Crassus
>Sleeps with both of their wives before this
>Both guys know this, with Pompey divorcing his wife because of it.
>They still accept his deal.

Such crazy times

In that he was copycating Scipio and his siege of Numantia. Probably he learned about it first hand because Marius, than was his uncle, talked with him about it.

Mad Jack Churchill was a proper madman