What's your job title Veeky Forums?

trust me no one is impressed

Numismatist
All I do is sort old coins

sounds like a job made up for autists

At Wendy's

Thank you, actually it's pretty interesting i work at a distributor of rare coins. If you like history is cool

Great cash.

Isnt a hedge fund where people hand you money to invest? How do you get started in that without a multimillion dollar starting capital? Who the fuck wouldd hand some idiot with 20k of cash rollin on penny stocks?

Waiter. Ill be 27 this year. Never bothered me because I was making 35k and traveling the world living a stress free life having fun. Now I have a child on the way and really feel desperate for a better job.Been rejected by several job interviews. Even a 50k entry level man labor job would be a boon for me as I could save and invest and feel good about my childs collegiate future. Im really depressed.

yes. they're also heavily regulated and only accredited investors - aka people with sufficient wealth or are deemed sophisticated enough - can give money to a hedge fund for them to manage.

so op calling himself a hedge fund is hilariously juvenile considering the most basic modern definition of a hedge fund is that they only accept funds from accredited investors

> "I'm a Full Stack Cloud Engineer!"

> Oh really? What can you build?

> "I can set up my timeline correctly on Facebook!"

>accredited investors
This shit cracks me up.
There's no end to the bitching about how "arbitrary limits" like this and the daytrader limit keep "the little guy" out of the market.
Somehow, though, there's no end to shareholder lawsuits whenever a company tanks. I get a new one in my mail every month or so.

Either you're savvy enough to you know the risks you're taking in the market (and shouldn't be suing for your losses), or you aren't (and shouldn't be in the market to begin with).

>Even a 50k entry level man labor job
What fucking entry level manual labour job would pay 50k???

Research Analyst, but I thought Competitive Intelligence Analyst sounded snappier so that's what I am

i know lots of guys who went into construction or to the battery plant and make that or better

Head of Research

construction, septic, garbage.

most shit jobs pay well because they are shit and in demand

i didnt say anything about the merits/implications of the system, merely it's a regulatory framework in place.

the reason for accredited investors requirement was acutally originally to "protect" the "little guy" anyway, given hedge funds are allowed to make use of much more complicated deal structures/translations/leverage than a mutual fund.

as i said it's mostly regulatory. i'm not defending it or opposing it, just explaining what is and isn't a hedge fund.

also shareholder lawsuits have almost nothing to do with hedge funds (assuming we're not talking about publicly listed funded, which i'm certain we're not) so the fact you bring this up makes me very ??? maybe you're one of the little guys the system was designed to protect/prevent from bitching when they go bankrupt :^)

Dating Coach.

>i didnt say anything about the merits/implications of the system
I don't recall saying you did.
If you perceived anything I posted to be directed at you personally, you're probably somewhat on the defensive side.

Oh, and thanks for your painstakingly comprehensive analysis of my finances.
I appreciate it.

Lmao

Also I'm a screenwriter - I have co-written 2 blockbuster films in the past 4 years.

Jack of all trades
36kyr

Venture Capitalist though the only ventures I've capitalized are my crummy ideas

the internet has all the training you need to get to middle-level in IT. are you good with computers? take a call center job (if you can afford to) and be the perfect employee and study to a technician job in the same company. Where do you live? What are you good at?

>are you good with computers?
sloightly above average normie. id get laughed out of /g/ im sure
>take a call center job (if you can afford to) and be the perfect employee and study to a technician job in the same company
I used to work for a call center and im going to see if theyll rehire me. Problem is theyre online application doesnt work on my shitty chromebook. im going to try to take some headphones to the library tomoro
>Where do you live?
Southeast missouri
>What are you good at?
nothing im garbage

Director of Executive Strategic Placement and Human Resources
>mfw I don't even have a BA
>gave myself this title so ppl would add me on LinkedIn

stop with that attitude. If you have a kid you need to act like a proper adult and quick. If you're motivated, show up on time, wear clean clothes that fit you, and can give a handshake and a positive attitude you're already past 90% of the competition. Where are you currently working? Do you have an apartment? How are things with your baby momma? married? dating?

>Where are you currently working?
A higher end restaurant. Its very event dependant and the pay swings wildly. During graduation and wedding season i can pull 200-250 a day. A slow weekday might only net me $30. Not enough to sustain a stable life on.
>Do you have an apartment?
Were renting a 2 bedroom condo for 730
>How are things with your baby momma?
good. were dating. probably wouldnt married her if she wasnt pregnant but we get on fine enough. id really like to have a good familly structure for my kid

You're doing better than you come off. You have people skills which is an aspect not mentioned much in school but is vital.

If I were you I'd go back to school at a community college (you can put that on your resume) and apply for a career of your choice. So if its IT or nursing or management or business or engineering or being a mechanic, you can show that you're dedicated to that field and employers like that. Friend of mine just got hired at a hospital working on their medical equipment while in school in the evenings to do IT, based on his IT focus. You need to move toward a career that can grow as you get better. There was someone on this forum before that said, "become an expert at something and then sell your expertise to people" . That's what doctors and lawyers do. That's what I do.

Next is to minimize your expenses. This for me was the biggest payoff as we dropped cable TV, eating out all the time, expensive trips and shit. My wife and I both worked and when she lost her job we got scared and scaled back massively on childcare and expenses. She focused on the kids and I focus most all on making money and being clever about it. It takes time.

What do you want to do for a career? Why not take a management course and get clean cut and apply for an assistant manager gig at a restaurant?

> Software Engineer

On email signature, linkedin, company internals, and when discussing my job. More specifically, I'm a full stack developer though.

lmao

Prudential & Accounting affairs officer & general project manager.

I didn't even ask for such a meme job title. It was given to me upon being hired. I leave the project manager part out of my email signature.

I work for my country's banking federation which is pretty small so employees have to cover a lot of ground. Really love my job though.

I feel like changing my linkedin to one of these once I stop working for the man :^)

Start a waiter training service. Bartenders have them. Why not waiters?

You're welcome.

>What are you good at?
>nothing im garbage

Can you show up on time? Do you smell nice? Do you want to help people or solve problems?

Just because you think you're a shitbird doesn't mean you are. You'll probably make some employer a lot of money when they TRAIN you.

90% of success is just showing up.

Ceramic and cutlery hygiene technician.
I wash dishes.

Head of janitorial engineering.

We manufacture automatic cleaning systems. I earn maximum wage.

>Give a handshake

That's a skill for the resume right there, old man Clements will hire you on the spot.

Swing trader.
>tfw not even lying
>on average make 2-3 trades a month that produce on average 10% returns

Living the dream user

VP of Slaying Pussy

It's mostly an administrative role, but occasionally I get to think outside the box.

Owner and Operator

Roboticist

[spoiler]really[/spoiler]

Nurse in a psych ward.

" Welder "

Screenshoted. I'll show my kids this screenshot if they want to be a faggot and live a yolo life.

"Beer Ranger"

Dead serious

I dont regret my life. Ive lived in some of the most beautiful locales on earth and had adventures and made memories and friends that ill cherish forever. But that time is over now. Im just scared because it ended so abrubtly and im not prepared. Such is life

you'd better raise your kid to get scholarships

what was your education and career path?

A free ride would be nice. Then i could keep that college fund and buy a boat ;)

>paid a few hundred dollars a month to be an mlm "leader."
Kill yourself.

>meme adventures
Rofl I know 10 guys paying child support living on shit pay trapped in debt slavery. They always talk about the good old times and pretend they actually lived life.

Im not sure what the point of this post is. Are you shitting on people for having good memories? And how are adventures memes?

Good is relative.

More appropriatly, those "good" times were just the less shit part of their hilarious lives, usually. They'd be considered trivial events by many other people, making them not good.

Ignorance, or perhaps coping, is bliss I guess.

>meme adventures
You cant just throw the word meme in front of everything you see and expect that to be a valid counterargument

I understand it.
There's many a time I sat on a speedboat sipping Veuve while thinking about all the plebs who've only had sparkling wine on a boat with oars.

You seem sad

>speedboats and champagne
More of a cat and beer man myself but to each their own

>valid counterargument
You mean valid implication?

And the idea that somebodies life endeavors always are interesting and have worth is a rampant idea, like memes.

Mmmmmm, cats and beer

Are they making you read camus in lit 101 or what? Its a rampant idea because happiness has intrinsic value you fucking edgelord

Its a good life :). Plan to circumnavigate one day

Op is a fag.
>pic related

>circumnavigate
In a cat?
You're a braver man than I, Gunga Din.

"CPA"

I'm self employed and run a CPA firm focused on outsourced controllership, tax advisory, CFO advisory, and PE due diligence management

>laughed out by /g/
yeah, ever since the developer of clover picked /g/ to be the default board that place has gone to shit. An average Veeky Forumsnessman is probably smarter than the half of them.

Physical Therapist

I also do Personal Training on the side, so PT and Life Coach.