Being Emotionally Driven by "Aesthetic"

I want to know if anyone else is like this?

Ever since maybe middle school, I've been a sad soul. But I've also taken liking in things like fashion, film, visual arts, sculptures....basically anything dealing with "aesthetic."

I was contemplating my entire life and reason why I felt so miserable the other day and I realized the answer...It's because the only thing that makes me truly happy is pleasing aesthetics.

Im always happy when I love what im wearing, im happy when my body looks good,im always happy when im watching a visually pleasing music video or film, im always happy when im painting something beautiful or looking at beautiful paintings.
Looking at attractive males or females makes me happy. >n-no homo
I always keep my Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter, or whatever social media I have visually pleasing...a nice "feed."

These are the things that keep me going, which is a problem because only about 40% of my life is visually pleasing to me, simply because I cant mold the world around me to my liking obviously.

I feel like with the amount of people on this board that literally get mad when they see someone in a bad outfit is so high that there has to be SOMEONE else exactly like me here...

Wow you must be a very unique person. Congrats.

I feel similarly, but for most aspects of life I think I have a more loose sense of what I find appealing
(e.g. textures, blandness, things that are so perfectly ugly that it's impressive)
idk about the sad boi part, but it is definitely a driving force in my life

(pic related)

yer cute! you wanna maybe meet up w/ me and a couple of my friends?

you seem like the biggest faggot

I always give a fuck on sad bois but thanks for the image mate !

I always get this feeling that the people who start shouting they're so into aesthetics and whatnot often are the ones who don't know jack shit about any of it. Somehow they just feel this urge to create this perception of themselves, probably makes them feel special or something.

>they just feel this urge to create this perception of themselves

This is me, but this thread is about my realization of the fact that perception is to please myself, not others like i always thought it was.

I went to walmart earlier today and suddnely saw this paki girl I once fingered at a peep show downtown, when I was a teen. She was older than me then and now she is like 45 and she was with a little child. She looked so aged and pale, her eyes small, and her body out of shape. We looked at each other and I think she recognized me but I kept walking.
True story.

Time flies insanely fast.

what does this have to do with anything

Imagine being a sexy teen boy and then losing your hair and getting older. But you're still a man.

Now imagine being a female... The only thing valuable you possess - youth and freshness - is quickly gone.

Every woman you see is like a old bald man who was once a sexy teenager. only much much worse. because men are still tremendous, but women past 35? 40? useless trash. it's very sad.

cherish the women

Congrats you're just like everyone who has their personal preference

I get what you mean though. I definitely get the idea that I don't feel right unless I dress a certain way exactly. My Instagram needs to have a reoccurring, clean, simple feed.

yes but its waaaay deeper than personal preference

I like you OP.
Post your insta


that sounds like a very hollow life

that's really neat, my brain works in a really similar way. one of the only long term goals i can see my myself pursuing is creating a house or space where i can put together a full aesthetic

what the dick
get better opinions

I always thought about this, it seems like aesthetics is one of the leading forces in my life. I usually dislike things and people that are ugly as a sort of prejudice and try to change everything that i can to be visually pleasing.

Maybe we're just too shallow or callous to see real worth in other people.

boi we are fucking exactly alike

if you ever need somebody to talk to hmu
ig: @cusec
snap: condolent

yes and we all die soon i hope it can be sooner

>more pushed in the back than centered
>more to the lest than to the middle
One job.

I like to find aesthetic in things, just looking at stuff and pretending it's the first time you've seen it, and how you think of it.

Also whenever I listen to music I have this autistic obsession to imagine a movie scene that would go with it, I think up whole plotlines based on a song, with camera movements and all

Im kind of like op i look at maybe 500 images per day and collect my favourites. I just enjoy the way things look, textuures, colour, light shape etc. I like the way things look more than i like being with other people. Id rather look at an art magazine than play a computer game. I dont think it is special

You almost perfectly described me OP, what are some of your favorite movies and music artists?

All of this is just a combination of having working eyesight, OCD and autism. Most people on here qualify for all of that.

it is
>Also whenever I listen to music I have this autistic obsession to imagine a movie scene that would go with it, I think up whole plotlines based on a song, with camera movements and all

i do this EXACT fucking thing. I actually thought I was the only one.

>what the dick
go back 2 lebbit

I feel similar, OP. wanna keep this message short though. good viewpoints, keep being you. Cheers from a fellow aesthetic-driven soul.

fuck so I'm not totally insane

Now that I think about it, I think it might be because I used to listen to video game music a lot and I would imagine the mission or whatever happening while I listened, so whenever I listen to regular music, my mind tries to replicate that.

DESU I like it, it's a nice form of escapism.

>Cheers from a fellow aesthetic-driven soul.

Oh God, I am dying reading all those comments. You guys are all so special aren't you?

>waaay deeper

it really isn't though. having a personal preference has it's depth to it, believe me I know that more than anyone else. But at the end of the day that's all it is, a personal preference. It has no other meaning than that except to only you.

by deeper I meant more extreme. A guy with a personal preference of blue shirts isnt going to go into deep depression because all of his blue shirts are dirty and he has to wear another color

yeah i feel the same way more or less

is that you in the pic?

let's get together for a blacked session hoe

This post is quite true and I agree with it entirely, except that females are actually useless trash after the age of eighteen or nineteen. But other than that you got it exactly right.

this convinced me
I'm finally too old for Veeky Forums

get some self-awareness you fucking clown

Nice blogpost but whatever.
The trick is to realize that everything in your eclectic surroundings can play into some kind of pleasing aesthetic. You just have to think of things outside of whatever artistic paradigm youve got yourself stuck in and recognize that anything can have value.

I relate to this in a way.

go back to r/theredpill bitch

Hunty you sound like every 19 year old manic-pixie-dream girl ever. No one gives a shit, get some self awareness you faggot.

This bitch is a soundcloud rapper

I feel you op. I have been like this for years too.

I remember back in grade school if I did a drawing and someone looked at it and they were careful with the paper and made it bend or something and it did not look like a perfect paper after I would just throw the thing.

Same goes to this day. I hate when I draw and maybe I smudge the ink with my hand and I just throw the damn thing, even if I have been drawing for 2-3 hours.

I hate buying cheap clothes because I can literally see that is shit and the stitching is bad etc.

Have to throw away clothes when the color starts fading even tho they were really expensive. Does not matter when you have had the jeans for 3+ years tho. You have got your moneys worth after so many wears.

I have not watched a "bad" movie since I was 14. Watching shit that has no thought behind it (the camera movement, lightning etc) just makes me feel ill.

I may be pretensions or just autistic but still. Godspeed, op!