Late night Veeky Forums feels

w2c leviathan shirt?

it felt symbolic for my life falling apart

do it man I hope things turn out better

Take your pick, my dude
holymountainprinting.myshopify.com/collections/leviathan?page=2

W2c blank sweater that fits like this please please please

>wake up
>wait a sec, how about I get up and don't stay in bed watching porn?
>get up, do sports
>look sexy
>get dressed to buy some veggies to get my nutrition back on track
>look stunning
>come back and cook nice lunch with spinach, tomatoes, nuts, sesame, cheese and funghi
>looks tasty
>eat it
>tastes vile
>throw up black bile
>stumble head first into toilet and almost drown
>papercut on anus
>all my teeth fall out
>shave pubes and realise my dick is gone
>want to scream but my mouth is nowhere to be found
>feel eyes melting out of sockets
>eat my own shit
>watch porn
>empathise with the woman screaming in pain, masking her discomfort with a forced grin
>want to pause but all the keys on my laptop have turned into little dick that fuck holes in my hands when I try to use them
>feet are completely numb
>can't move, paralyzed
>fall asleep

cool

It's everyday bro

thanks man! But 20€ or 40€ shipping costs are more then I'm willing to pay unfortunately :(
>tfw living in europe and loving us bands

It's that time again. Having some feels.
But damn I look good.

>normie fashion sense
>great grades
>decent social life
>middle class
>can make people laugh
>good work ethic
>a little attractive too (except being a manlet)
>still a recluse
>still have never had a gf
>still bottles up my emotions
>still yelled at by my family constantly
>still the butt of my friends jokes
>still considered weak and frail
>still sad

i feel like a little bitch for being sad. there are millions of people who have it thousands of times worse but i'm a miserable piece of shit. i think that's the reason i hate myself the most.

you sound boring

Your choice of image - a horrified, traumatized user wearing a smiling mask - suggests a lot about you that you aren't saying.

You basically have two choices. You can seek treatment right now, or you can wear the mask forever. It is not clear to me whether either choice is able to consistently produce a human being out of a hot mess. But it is generally better to choose and fuck up than to not choose at all.

>wake up feeling rested for once
>must've been the sleep paralysis I had at 3 am
>put on olive chinos white sneaks and a navy shirt w/ white dandelion print
>go to work, make typing motions, go home
>bake two delicious pies for my boss's bday
>listen to the most depressing fucking music while baking
>spotify playlist "Music to act cool to" v v effay
>play musical chairs w/ my teeth and fingernail clipping
>so excited to call the shrink I finally found tomorrow
>can't wait to eat many antidepressants and feel like I do after a workout all the time
>browse Veeky Forums until I can't keep my eyes open
>notbad.jpg

>Wake up
>go pee pees
>sit on /pol/ for 1hr raging about the Jews
>Get dressed
>Go to work
>Come home
>Drink 10 beers
>listen to Morrissey
>Cry
>Alone

>wake up at 7am sharp
>immediately blend a berry protein shake
>drink it in the shower
>spend 30 minutes applying clay, shaving preening
>spend 15 minutes tucking in shirt to get it just right
>always the same monochrome (black) uniform
>get to library
>work until 10 minutes before class
>finish class and go back to library
>repeat
>go home and eat
>study until 11:30am
>shower
>sleep exactly at 12am
>incredibly productive days and fucking hate myself anyway

PM*

If you're not fat I would probably at least consider giving you a hug

...

I'm with a great girl but I can't appreciate it because I'm in my own head about stupid shit (inside and outside of the relationship) to the point where I'm insecure and hating myself. I don't feel comfortable talking about it with her because I don't want to be seen as weak (Always been raised to rub dirt in it and walk it off) and I don't want her trying to reassure me out of pity, because then I'll always wonder if she's being genuine or just trying to make me feel better.

I don't enjoy much anymore. I feel I'm in a rut. There's small pleasures and distractions but they don't compare to long hours at work or campus where I'm stuck to my thoughts a lot of the times. I've never felt like such a mentally weak piece of shit before and I'm ashamed of it. She's noticed I've been acting "off" at work and when she comes over.

It's stuff that I know won't help talking to others because it's all internal. I'm just shrugging it off daily and hoping eventually I'll get used to it or stop giving a shit.

You're not giving us the full story here user. I don't expect you to, but it sounds like you're suffering from depression and a cocktail of a lot of other things. You'd do yourself well to seek professional help and tell you're girlfriend that you might need a therapist.

That's not an insult to you or some kind of way to sabotage your relationship. I mean it.

There's a bunch of things that contribute to the elongated funk I've been in, I acknowledge that, but it's those things that get chalked up as "that's life" so I disregard it and move on. I don't think I'll end up suicidal by any means. I don't think I'll be weak enough to want to kill myself.

I'm just sick of not being the strong guy I used to be. Honestly being taken up in a relationship has made me a lot more vulnerable to a lot of things and I miss the stoic, confidently single self I was. The relationship is on top of everything else. That doesn't mean I don't love her to death, but it's opened up so many doors of insecurity and fear that she's become my biggest weakness. That sounds shitty but it's not how I mean it.

I'd explain the whole story, but it would take me an hour or so to type it all out and the "rub dirt on it" mentality ingrained in me hates the idea of going to someone to talk it out.

The problem with suicide is that your brain starts considering the desire to kill yourself a strength. Not that you'll get there, but it isn't a matter of weakness, personally speaking.

It sounds like your relationship has unlocked some shit in your psyche you have yet to really confront. And you're right, some times that is just life. I'd try to explain that at least to your girlfriend. You seem cognizant enough to realize your role in things, don't make her entirely miserable for it.

You were always weak and vulnerable.
You just didn't know it.
What you're rebelling against now is the awareness of that weakness.

You just want to go further back into your bubble of comfortable delusions.

>It sounds like your relationship has unlocked some shit in your psyche you have yet to really confront
Yeah. I've been in plenty of relationships before. But I've never been in love. I imagine that has to do a lot to do with it.

But it's why I don't plan on talking to her about it. I've never had to deal with something this mentally destabilizing but I imagine shit will get better with time. Sometimes, like tonight, I just really fucking hate it. But like I said, I think I'm better off not saying anything to her. I know how my brain works, and I would rather be in my own head, than let her in, and then from then on out second guess everything as genuine vs sugar-coating things to reassure me/keep me from falling back into a funk. I can spot it miles away and the idea of that is more depressing than anything.

I really appreciate having someone to. Thanks.

Love is an ever-growing sense of trust, combined with respect and devotion.

You're not in love. You're infatuated.

>Dress pretty effeminate
>Have painted nails and medium length hair
>Let my hips swing a little when I walk
>Feel sexy
>But also.... intimidating?

IDK why but for some reason when I'm walkin about lookin like a metrosexual pretty boy, cigarette hangin from my mouth, I feel sorta sexually intimidating.

Feels like people know how I fuck. also a girl at uni told a bunch of people i have a big cock which just adds a whole new layer to it. like "I look like a femme pretty boy but I got a fuckin hog, my man."

>get up after an hour of sleep
>immediately have a heavy metal object bash my leg
>try on a new sweater, i'm too fucking fat for it so i barely eat for the rest of the day
>get on train to go to first day of work, train is stuck for thirty minutes and i'm late
>person training me doesn't give a shit and i learn nothing
>get fined 200 dollars while walking home because i forgot my train ticket at work
>tfw ten dollars to my name
overall pretty good day because my cat is chilling with me now

you're lame

Hey dude that's really not that bad get over your retarded irrational fears

sounds like you suffering from low T

sucks to be you

what an un-Veeky Forums insult do better

>set alarm for 7:30
>wake up at 9
>throw on clothes
>forget deodorant
>grab a coffee on the way to school
>spill some on my white shirt
>get to architecture class on time
>surprise quiz bitch
>do ok, spend the rest of class desperately trying to focus
>class over, walk long way back to car because student parking is full as fuck
>qt korean I hooked up with a week ago calls, get excited
>tells me she has chlamydia, I should get checked
>FUCK, make appointment
>have to go to work and pretend to be a competent manager despite having never managed anything in my life
>choke down panic attacks as responsibilities I never even knew I had blindside me
>all my employees are older than me, don't respect me
>get home at 9:30
>Play R6:Siege and blogpost on Veeky Forums

Get yourself checked out as soon as humanly possible.

>came out as an autistic "heh"

jesus fucking christ this board needs to be deleted

>sleep in till 10
>shower
>drink coffee, turn on PC and remember home internet is down
>browse Veeky Forums on phone while thinking about cancelled plans, for which I told work I couldn't come in
>now just sitting around the house in shit heat with nothing to do other than browse Veeky Forums
>check fridge, no V (somehow this disgusting shit is the only thing that makes me feel good anymore)
>no weed
>family leave house all happily talking about plans with boyfriends, friends etc.
>sit around desperately trying to find some excuse to dress up well and go out
>wish anyone I knew would just happen to invite me out
>feel really good about myself after experimenting with hair drier and waking up with my acne breakout starting to pass, but no way to go out and take advantage of good mood
>just feel lonely and 10x worse than usual
Fuck Veeky Forums, been not going to social events because of work and the one time I open up my schedule my friends pull out. What the fuck should I do?

>tfw been told my whole life growing up that I was skinny
>pretty sure I'm actually not that skinny anymore but can't shake the idea that other people perceive me as skinny

like I'm not bulky by any means but I just see these other skinny guys and jesus I am almost objectively bigger than them, like I'm not emaciated I'm just tall and lean
in any case, I've been hitting the gym and eating more coz I figure filling out me frame wouldn't hurt, but I can totally see how body image disorders develop coz I can't for the life of me tell if I'm skinny or not even when I'm staring at my own damn naked body in the mirror.. its like my brain wont let me see things objectively

i think people use the term 'skinny' too loosely
any other skeletons feel this?

>wake up with a semi-sore throat (got better since yesterday)
>think about all the things i'd love to see myself doing, things i'd love to wear and things I'd love to have
>realise my financial situation and resources limit my ability to do so and to put my creative thoughts on a physical medium
>realise even though i want to improve myself physically and mentally, my discipline is so shit that i'll probably waste my day like every other
>look in mirror occasionally and feel somewhat good but remember that the front camera shows the real me and that im not as decent as I want to believe
>want to diet but living with senpai, with limited healthy food
>browse Veeky Forums look at inspo and models and sigh at my inadequate life
>browse through phone chats and realise none of these people are my true friends nor truly understand me
>post in Veeky Forums feels thread

the end. wew

>woke up at around 11 because housemates playing music loudly
>i try to ignore and go back to sleep
>they burst the room and open the curtains and dance aggressively and one jumps on top of me
>get up, pancakes for breakfast
>watch shitty australian movie "takeaway" with housemate
>potential new housemate comes over to check out the place
>she's qt
>later go to get a sexual health check (you should all do it m8s it's IMPORTANT)
>the nurse said i have good blood flow
>then go meet up with another friend and get some dinner
>get home, go on Veeky Forums, write this

I get you dude except sorta the opposite for me. As a child I was always around girls, and as such was repeatedly told that I was big and needed to be careful about my size. In all reality I have always just been a skelly guy who was big in comparison to girls. Took me well into highschool until I realised I am piss weak and immasculine as fuck.
I have now reached to point where I have gotten enough exposure to actual fucking guys and have compared myself with them so I can see just how skinny I really am. After a few years of thinking that no matter what I do I will be extremely skinny however, I am starting to get super fucking scared I will gain weight and become full skinnyfat.
I am stuck at the moment between a desire to be more masculine, and one to be an effay lanklord. I will spend a day eating big thinking about gaining weight only to have a panic attack just before bed, grabbing at my stomach and neck skin thinking that I feel fat and gross. The next day I will eat nothing, go to sleep, and wake up feeling like I need to gain weight again. This cycle is seriously fucking my shit up right now and I don't know how I got this way. I have never had any weight fluctuations so this fear is really weird for me.
And just so you know, I am 6'1 and 131lbs.

You deserve a better life mate, I hope you will get better

The first step is to cut out the fucking drugs dude. Really, shits great socially but if you develop a habit you need to cut that shit out cold turkey for a while or it will fuck you.
You and your friend should read some stoic philosophy and chill the fuck out. Might help put things into perspective for you, helps for me when I am in a funk.

its 6:38am and im sloshed drunk yet again

I've posted about this before but I know its a relatable feel and I haven't got over it yet so I'm posting again.

Fellas, why am I so pathetic? I've been obsessed with the same girl for well over a year now, and we're not dating, we haven't fucked, we haven't hooked up, nothing. I tell myself I'm not in love with her, I wouldn't even say I have a crush on her. But I can't stop thinking about her, or talking to her, and I feel sick in my stomach at the thought of her being with someone else. I thought I was doing better for a while, for a while I'd convinced myself into thinking I was ok with just being friends, and I really felt like that for a while... but I've fallen hard for her again. I can feel it happening, and I feel powerless to stop it.

I know the only realistic solution is to just ween myself off her. If I had the balls to cut off contact completely I'd do that - but she doesn't deserve that either really. I am way too old to be this pathetic. I need to fucking fuck something jesus.

To make this effay related, I used to hate wearing shorts but I've come round to it now. My vision of whats 'fashionable' has massively broadened too. To be honest, the same can be said for all my interests - whether that's music or film or whatever, I used to have such narrow criteria for what was 'good'. I don't anymore, and I think that's probably part of growing up too.

>have to retake test I failed by 3 points initially in 6 days
>have to turn in paper in 7 days
>not done anything for either yet

on the bright side, I have met a very cute and Veeky Forums guy that I would like to get closer to. We talked for 5 hours on monday and had an hour long phone conversation yesterday. Usually I can't stand talking to people for more than 20 minutes so this is great.

did you at least try to get her attention desu?

>i've taken a guys girlfriend before
>my friend took my girldriend a couple months ago.
some guys in my friend group have done this aswell, it's split up in like 3 seperate groups now. why the fuck do all of you do this? are you retarded?

>woke up at 2pm again

you probably have low testosterone, start eating more fat and sleeping better and get some exercise

>broke up with gf 4 months ago and still not over her
>every day wake up around noon
>lay in bed for an hour cause i don't want to face the day
>work remotely doing what i thought would be my dream job but it turns out i hate it
>stopped going to the gym
>don't even have the will to count calories
>sister is sick and i worry about her constantly
>have trouble sleeping
>started smoking again
The only thing i look forward to is weekly bad movie nights with my friends.

this

>wake up at 9am excited for the day ahead for some reason
>going on a night out tonight happy im in a good and focused mood
>not felt this awake and motivated in months
>go to town to run errands
>after 3-4 minor social interactions at banks/post office ect im already mentally exhausted
>its only 2pm
>can barely keep my eyes open
>by the time I go out tonight I'll be untalkative and grumpy
>when I'm like this drugs don't even help perk me up

Why does this happen to me?

Hey, this happens to me often, but I usually feel better by evening. Just avoid feeling anxious about going out. Try to keep a positive vibe and you'll have fun

I've found a generally healthy lifestyle (fruit/exercise), has made me a lot more enduring during long social activities.

When I'm on good form I smash it, but sometimes I get so mentally exhausted I can barely talk or follow conversations.

Haha what a fucking retard
Mine tho:
>Havent been outside in two and a half weeks duo having lefort 1 and swelled up face
>Got 8 hours a sleep today, ate a big breakfast and drove to the city(small place whatever)
>Have a quick visit at grandparents
>They are glad to see me
>Chat for 20 minutes and I leave for school
>Short day, get off around 12.00
>Go see a friend whos working security
>He basically saved a woman life 30 mins before I get there
>Kid around and talk about bullshit which uplifts my mood even more
>Head home
>Eat and fap
>Come to Veeky Forums
>faggots still depressed

do you have time in the day for a short nap? 40 minutes is generally the sweet spot for me. sounds decadent and lazy for sure, but i'm similar to you and a nap can be a real life saver, its like starting the day again.

there is always a risks with naps, if you fuck it up you can feel even worse than before... with great power comes great responsibility...

Different guy, same feel
It's absolute retardation and now we can't have the same group chat because of it.

yeah but I have good naps sometimes but I find it hard to tell whether I actually need the nap, or Im just being lazy

Like sometimes I feel incredibly tired, but then as soon as I get active for 5 minutes I'm fine again.

Yeah... about being able to properly dress yourself...

that's why you get a girlfriend that's not in your friend group.

w2c shoes?

me and my friends have a rule that once someone's relationship is over the others shouldn't take his previous girlfriend.
We're kinda lucky cause we like different kind of girls; for example, i only fuck obese girls.

unimpressed_jerking_off_motion.mp4

i'm the OP and I gotta say it's not a great relationship if your gf can't be friends with your friends and vice versa.

but yeah it's also retarded letting your cock do the walk. the friend group is recovering slowly though. we all love each other too much. we all know we're shitty but being faced with people that you've done wrong makes you better IMO. If you have to look at someone who you've hurt due to your own faults and you actually love them they become a constant reminder of how you can love em better. Then again thats probably written somewhere in a handbook about codependence.

That's almost everyones rule, but we're horny monsters with young sexy bodies that need to be rubbed together. Causes friction.

>horny monsters with young sexy bodies that need to be rubbed together

Can i use this as a band name?

only if you promise to make it big

OP here guys her friend told me she moved to Colorado

You can probably contest the fine

>wake up
>go pee
>don't look in the mirror because not effay
>skip school because I don't want to be seen in public
>sit in bed in the dark browsing Veeky Forums imagining myself pulling off outfits
>cry
>sleep

>be a man
>hate women
>also obsessed with their validation

>That's almost everyones rule, but we're horny monsters with young sexy bodies that need to be rubbed together. Causes friction.

I DIDNT MEAN TO CHEAT BUT THE FEELINGS WERE TOO STRONG WAAH

kys low iq retard

ITS GONNA BE A LONG FUCKING WEEKEND OF SITTING AT THE COMPUTER CAUSE I FAILED MY FUCKINHG LICENSE TEST RFUCK

Every problem in my life could be solved with a license. I could move away from my insane mother. I could hang out with people(haven't hung with anyone in months, too far away), I could stop eating gas station food(no working stove in my shithole apt), I could have energy to actually be myself and not a stressed forgetful moron(biking to work for 5 god damned months has turned me into skin and bones). All I need is a stupid plastic rectangle. Someday.

The problem is you, not the license

did you get that out of a fortune cookie you dumb faggot

sorry everyone can't pull up the bro code pdf on their android every time they feel a genuine emotion. one day we'll learn.

don't listen to him, little things like that can have genuinely enormous impacts - you'll get it soon buddy keep on truckin

thanks guys. i've not done coke since i posted, and have not drank either, but i know i won't stop drinking. drugs can fuck off though. i got in a dark place for a long time and i'm just a negative/cynical person so that doesn't help.
my friend, unfortunately, has only gotten worse and i feel bad because i'm not in the place to support her or be around her. i'm scared for her.