18

So, i'm 18 and i don't really have any financial goals other than to have the bare minimum to live in a shitty apartment and basic food stuffs.
I have 1000 dollars and some change right now, any suggestion on where to start on learning money, how it works, and what to do with it.
>please no self-empowering books or programs
>preferably without religion or mention of God
>pic related, my money

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youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtPNZwz5_o_5uirJ8gQXnhEO
youtube.com/playlist?list=PL83DF21B47327EDFE
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Your diagram had a mistake in it OP, the first step is a reductive elimination, decarboxylation is a pleb-tier vulgar term that hippies use.

Source: Organic Chemistry MSc student.

P.s slightly weird question OP but does your first name have a J in it? Your handwriting, circumstances and pic are familiar

No, sorry. The diagram isn't mine, it once belonged to the most philosophical and ingenious person i've ever met. Their name does not had a "J" in it, sorry.

When you say philosophical and ingeniously you mean a euphoric neck beard right?

Sure

You're not one of those fags that sees chemistry scribbles on someone fridge and thinks they must be a genius are you? I met girls at uni that did this, they were so gullible that they actually thought guys that wrote "E=mc^2" on their backpacks were insanely clever, and if they quoted "Schopenhauer" they were philosophical romantics. Stop being such a meme.

or just buy TVIX

Investopedia

>invest in kneepads
>invest in lipstick
>???
>profit

/thread

I like your DMT plan.

this kind of people ... where are the mods when you need them ?

...

>im so smart bcuz I got a sekrit club named Veeky Forums

Fuck off, kiddo. Nobody cares.

>where to start on learning money
youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtPNZwz5_o_5uirJ8gQXnhEO
youtube.com/playlist?list=PL83DF21B47327EDFE

>crash course

user pls

it's a start

Suck dick for $5 a pop, 1 million dicks a year and you're rich.

Real advice, learn a trade, don't go to College, it's a meme. Save everything you have, by the time your old friends are starting to try to get into the work lifestyle, you have already 100k+ and you can start your own business.

He's right though, OP calls someone Ingenious and Philosophical even though he's 18, I doubt it he knows anybody with a relevant intelligence.

I make about $1,000-2000 running 2 online businesses. Drops shipping and online Marketing are the shit for the lazy

I didn't say I was smart. I also never implied Veeky Forums was full of anything but autismo NEETbux. What I did say was it is incredibly cringey to say "the most ingenious and philosophical person i've ever met" and hold on to what is literally a completely rudimentary chemical outline as if it's some nobel prize winning research. Seriously these people turn science into a meme and it's so stupid, there is nothing special about those chemical structures (except for OMG THEY R ILLEGAL DRUGS SO KOOL) and the arrows are just reaction DESCRIPTIONS, not mechanisms or reagents or conditions. It's literally wikipedia-tier 'science' and OP holding on to it like the person who made it was the next Einstein is hilarious.

>$1,000-2000

A year?

>OP makes thread asking for good advice
>5% of responses reasonable

Yes, Mods - because we want people interested in Veeky Forums , not /b/ or /r9k/.

Terms i searched in google
"how to invest 1000" (I would use more terms depending on your situation to narrow down the result)

Common themes I've seen on these websites is
1. Pay down debt (if you have any)
2. Learn/Invest in stocks (some suggest 401k plan, I'm not in the US so I'm not familiar with this), seems like one for beginners is an ETF or Exchange Traded Funds(basically a diversified portfolio of stocks). With making money, diversification is always the key.
3. Invest in yourself
4. Havent seen this one yet, but I would see if you could somehow get into property buying? Mabye join up with some people and invest in a property (ask others how this works, I'm sure it exists). Again, diversify, I wouldn't put all your faith in shares alone (or property alone even).

So, yeah. Thats my advice from a bit of google searching - and from a bit of personal experience. I own 1 investment property a portfolio of 45k shares (including 2 seperate funds).

I don't actively monitor these and they have continued to bring me a reasonable return. The property gives me great tax advantages and since the investments are partially backed by a loan, I get tax breaks from that as well.

As I said though, I don't actively monitor my shares or property much, but I do enough to pay the bills and get my good tax returns. Would appreciate more advice as well from a seasoned investor.

please go back to le plebbit

>portfolio of 45k shares (including 2 seperate funds).
Sorry, didn't explain this properly. Have 45k in a diversified portfolio, and about 5k in 2 blue chip companies.

When will you guys understand that there is absolutely no point into investing a small amount like 1000? It's dumb, yea you might double or triple it if you're lucky with a crypto but even then it's only 2000 dollars, which is nothing.

The only advice you can give to someone like OP is go learn a trade and save money, which is literally what is posted in 1/3 of the threads here anyways.

because this is Veeky Forums and they are retarded

What is ID?

its the thing on Veeky Forums that shows every different poster, why are you asking?

If you want people interested in Veeky Forums, why're you hating on Veeky Forums culture?