Be me

girlDog
girlDog

be me
be white
grew up in the ghetto
sound black
get interviews with my qualifications
no one will hire me
I think it's my voice that's keeping me neet. I speak properly, I don't use slang, but the black sounding accent comes through, what can I do?
vocaroo.com/i/s07bDLhlbjr1

All urls found in this thread:

vocaroo.com/i/s07bDLhlbjr1
youtu.be/N2e7AF-dh38
youtube.com/watch?v=zltt3WY4Ws0
vocaroo.com/i/s15OfBD3aMah

Inmate
Inmate

The Black accent is very similar to Southern white.

You say unnastaaayen, not unDeRstAnD.
It's not wrong, as such, just dialectal. Lots of lost consonants and altered vowels.

Your rhythm and tone (in the sense of high pitch low pitch) are also dialectal.

I recommend looking up audio series on changing your accent. Some of them are geared towards ESL people, but they still teach white as a white picket fence General American.

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

Fuck me.. Some nigger stole your vocaroo link OP, I couldn't understand a thing he said.

Methshot
Methshot

Put some stress in your syllables man, can't have you sounding like some salesperson on the streets.

Methnerd
Methnerd

LOL. It makes you sound ghetto bruh,have you tried changing your accent? You might HAVE to.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

tfw Indianapolis born and raised
tfw by default have General American
Feels good.
You should try being a rapper.

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

Holy shit how deep in the south are you, user? I'm from Tennessee and even I don't say "understand" like that.

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

vocaroo.com/i/s07bDLhlbjr1

Time to change careers. You sound like a trapcore rapper, embrace it.

girlDog
girlDog

Feels good.

dumb hoosier

iluvmen
iluvmen

Are you jealous?

idontknow
idontknow

I speak properly

Playboyize
Playboyize

You all have been trolled hard

Flameblow
Flameblow

Read books. Learn how to speak properly. Stop being a nigger.

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

jealous of some naptown hoosier...kek

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

If you want to rag on my great city, tell me what's so bad about it.
Let's hash this out like civil people.

TechHater
TechHater

tfw when white but lived in Jamaica until I was 10 then moved to UK

Still have the accent but people think I fake it

Evilember
Evilember

Spectacular hood vernacular.
Suck dick like blood to count Dracula.
Donate $3.50 to bernie and I'm matchin ya.

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

vocaroo.com/i/s07bDLhlbjr1
Tell me youre a troll.
10/10 you need to be a comedian if youre not.
Or improve your diction.

King_Martha
King_Martha

Boomhauer????

RumChicken
RumChicken

Holy shit nigger.

You're literally Boomhauer.

eGremlin
eGremlin

OP is Boomhauer confirmed.

King_Martha
King_Martha

Not OP but grew up in a poor part of Houston. I had a very similar problem and it's pretty difficult to speak in a way others will understand constantly. My dialect comes out in my regular conversations but not with my boss. Hell talking with my friends from H-town we talk in our city's slang. But at my office job if it does come out my tone usually changes. I typically ask questions with my Houston dialect and converse regularly with my adjusted speach. Also I work far away from Houston in the north right now.

5mileys
5mileys

let's hash this out like autists

Inmate
Inmate

I mainly want him to mention what shit city he lives in.

whereismyname
whereismyname

Holy mother of keks

Supergrass
Supergrass

Tip Top Kek OP.

Quailty Bait

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

youtu.be/N2e7AF-dh38

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

Americans thinking they speak clearer than the British
As a mainland European that has to put up with cruise ships, I find this highly amusing. But yes, OP should learn to enunciate.

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

sound like Matthew Mcconaughy with an speech impediment

5mileys
5mileys

You havent been around too many British then. Can confirm that most speak horrible English.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

I used to work with someone in your exact same situation, OP. He did achieve some *moderate* success, but I'll be 100% honest with you - no one took him seriously and there is no doubt that his voice/accent held him back from going any further.

Additionally, outside of work at social gatherings where co-workers could talk freely, he was referred to as "the guy who acts black," or the "guy who tries to sound black."

He would also occasionally let his ghetto out, and on top of the accent would refer to another co-worker as "homeboy," or something - like this:

"I haven't seen the update file yet - do you know if Daniel sent out the email?"
"Ah yeah, homeboy shot that out bout 2 awaas ago"

Give me a fucking break. Typing all this out to let OP know he sounds like an nonintellectual ape and I would shred his resume.

Methshot
Methshot

Actually, I lived eight years in Ireland and four years in England. I've been around more than my fair share of both English and English speakers. The tourists shipped to mainland Europe from the US are far less intelligible than a British city dweller, though I'll admit that any countryside dialect is just a vaguely related collection of noises and not actual speech.

Firespawn
Firespawn

serious answer

Put 'African American' as your race on all your job applications.

1) Only HR sees your race, they will prioritize you as a quota hire
2) In my 20 years in HR, I've never had to ask anyone to PROVE their race. Pretty sure we hired an Asian under our native american quota.

The US gov is fucking corrupt as shit for forcing companies to hire based on race.

Just don't play their racist games by their rules... apply to all jobs as an African American. There literally is very little risk for the applicant.

WebTool
WebTool

And if you're full white, just put 'african american' as your race.

We've never ever had to check anyone's race in my 20 years, much less force them to prove it at time of hire.

What are you going to do? Force people to take a DNA test and invite lawsuits? Nope. We just hire a guy, and check one off the quota box.

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

When I joined the Navy, my recruiter (on the way to MEPS), turned around, looked me right in the eye and said:

It's pretty cool you have Native American blood in you, I wish I had some
But I don't... I'm just white ...
No, you told me you do, even though it's just 1%
But I don't even have 1 perce....
Yeah it's pretty cool to have that, since the Navy gives minorities, especially those with Native American blood special promotion priority - you'll always be looked at first and almost always given the honors. That's why I wish I had Native American blood
(starting to catch on) Are you sur...
Yeah, you're lucky to be at least 1% Native American - it doesn't matter what percentage you are, just make sure you check the box "white" and "native american." And the best part is, it's against regulation to discriminate anyone based on their race in the military. So even if it's just 1%, no one can ever give you shit or even ask about your 1%

My white friend also got a full ride to a decent college for scoring decently on the SAT and, what he attributes to, claiming pacific islander on the application

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

Show face OP.
inb4 you're a troglodyte and it's actually your looks holding you back
inb4 this is all a ruse anyway

likme
likme

Maybe it's the way you dress and present yourself.

Firespawn
Firespawn

youtube.com/watch?v=zltt3WY4Ws0

Put another language on your resume: pooty tang

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

Yeah, you're lucky to be at least 1% Native American

Oooh, that's dirty. The question is, did he do it to help himself (quotas), or to help you?

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

vocaroo.com/i/s07bDLhlbjr1

Time to move to 8 mile and become the new slim shady opie seems like its your only hope

Firespawn
Firespawn

they're probably worried you only given the qualification to satisfy diversity quotas at what ever school you went to.
for example unis here are known for grading international students quite easily in most fields because of how much money they receive from them. while aboriginal students get easy passes because it gets the school govt. money

StonedTime
StonedTime

mfw the exact opposite
working for fortune 500 company
Racism is a meme.

Booteefool
Booteefool

sound black
You do realise black people talk like that on purpose. They could sound white.

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

BlackAnon here...

LMAO what this nigga just say?

ROFL

Dude, niggas can talk white if we want, we just speak in our dialect among ourselves or to fuck with you whiteys....

This has to be a troll or you're retarded.

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

nigger

TreeEater
TreeEater

this is the funniest thing i've seen all week.

you CANNOT be serious

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

type like a normal person, nigger.

TreeEater
TreeEater

live in Brooklyn but no nasty, grating Brooklyn accent
no accent at all really, just monotone

Whew.

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

Learn to speak differently.

I grew up in the south, but i have zero southern accent. People even question if I grew up here.

My parents just spoke properly, and I consciously tried to speak properly without any accent.

Emberburn
Emberburn

I'm assuming you are able to imitate certain accents if you try, including a proper American English accent.

You need to practice clearly enunciating the words slowly and clearly, not eliding over certain sounds. If you have the money, you can go to speech therapists who will help you get rid of the accent.

But, yeah, the black accent marks you as an uneducated poor person.

Methshot
Methshot

I've been on Veeky Forums since 2005 and this one of the most hilarious OPs of all time.

The thread sucks, but you're funny.

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

vocaroo.com/i/s15OfBD3aMah

I understand what you are going through OP. It is a fucking curse, a god damn curse. Every time I write an email to someone about my qualifications I get a call and then they wonder how "eloquent" my grammar is compared to my speaking voice.

It is a shame -- I can never give a speech or a sales pitch without sounding like the two black guys I used to beat up gays with in Baltimore from 2001-2003.

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