/ss13g/ Spessmen on a Spess Station General

>yfw they are ERPing eachother at the same computer while Intigracy is balls deep inside her

This, Bay features are pretty fucking cool

>literally every serb is fucking lightyears ahead of us
Yeah, we're stagnated since 2014 while they skyrocketed.

Have you ever considered that the reason the coders haven't ported their 'superior features' is that they haven't played on them since they are busy coding for us and not playing on another server?

>implying that makes CDB any smaller

The server has been really unrobust lately, can't we all help some new players out? Share some tips to help new players.

>Spears are good and easy to obtain sharp weapons
>Stabbing someone in the eye is a great tactic, use a fork or screwdriver
>You can harm intent syringe someone to instantly inject them with a chemical
>If you want to uncuff yourself faster, go over a chair and drag your character to the chair to break the cuffs over it
>Hyperzine makes you go faster even when you're starving
>When you're not starving, you will passively heal brute and burn damage
>The recipe for cyanide is plasma, aluminum, and sulfuric acid. This is not on the wiki for obvious reasons and is much better and harder to counter than chloral
>You can blow people's robotic limbs off with EMPs
>Silicate and Welding fuel are both toxic, and can be used as ghetto poisons
>If you use c4 on your jumpsuit, it will slip it in a pocket which cannot be searched unless security takes off your jumpsuit
>Whenever you want an easy way to slip someone, ask botany to make you bananas and usually they gladly will
>Can't find a welding helmet? Wear a gas mask and optical meson scanners (green goggles) and this will also fully protect you when welding walls or objects
>Stun batons on harm setting stun longer, but barely do any damage (maybe 5 damage per hit) so use this as security to keep yourself safe
>Going down disposal chutes while fat allows you to navigate them manually since you are heavy enough to resist their automatic suction, use this to break into places you don't normally have access too
>Traitors can emag library computers to print fake cult tombs, turn one into security and say someone is a cultist to get them in trouble
>Multitools have lots of functions outside of hacking, use them on various machines to see what they can do
>You can blend the chef's mint in the kitchen at round start to obtain mintotoxin

Any others?

The best person to add features you want added is *you*, user
We took chat from Goon and someone's working on porting tg-ui. Nothing's stopping you from porting stuff you want to see (unless everyone else doesn't)

>busy coding for us

Coding retarded bullshit like hypothermia and meme additions.

>Literally the ONLY reason we haven't taken more features from them is because 'M-MUH BAY BOOGIEMAN' and people spouting retard quotes going 'WE ARENT BAY!!!'
Go do it. Port it. Get us goon features too. This is the deal. It's an open source and you can, but you have to be willing to work.

You can't just pirate their game or wait for it to be on sale.

You have to work for what you want.

>port it

I would if I could do anything byond adding crates and shit. Not to mention, I don't see a point since every coder would probably go 'lel fuck off only we can add shit to the game :^)' when I made a PR.

Just name yourself Slipplestein or Slips the Third and play clown every time.

Slip people non fucking stop.

Its low intensity annoyance so it will take time for them to rise up and lynch you, and surviving the slapfights they bring back to you is all the training you'll need for when you actually want to kill people.

Yeah, and?

Still doesn't mean they know any good features to take from them.

>can't someone ELSE do it

Seriously why do people think this? This happens to fucking nobody.

Stop spreading literal lies about there being some kind of coder club when literally anyone can start contributing and even become a collaborator if they get good at it.

That's not what I said. Hell, if I get better with byond/coding shit in general, I'll fucking try.

I just don't see a point since the fucking coders seem to hate everyone outside their metaclub with a passion and refuse to let you add anything if you don't have a history of sucking their dick and adding your favorite dank memes.

Here probe

Xenobotany equipment and flora discs
Firesuit wall locker
Chem master and grinder
At least 12 trays if botanist cap is 1, 20 if 2
Light switch for low light plants
Intercom?
Firelocks on the tables
Fire alarm for when botany botany's with radium or mutagen mutation or seeds
Presumably weedkiller spray bottles
At least one botanist locker. It has stuff you need like the spade, hatchet, hoe, plant clipeprs and other shit you don't start with
Hatchets REALLY shouldn't be in the open
Fire extinguisher wall locker
Disposals and the routing stuff so you can get your 12 crates of botany shit

Things that have never happened for $1000, Alex
>seriously thinking there is a coder metaclub

[citation needed]

t. Intigracy

>responding to such a delirious post
You're just as bad, senpai.

>If an APC is dark blue that means the AI is malfunctioning, tell the RD to blow all borgs immediately
>If you attach wires to gloves, this makes them slightly more shock resistant as the wires will reroute the power back into the machine that shocked you to ground it there instead of your body
>If you emag the AI it has access to nuke the station
>An easy way to stun someone is to whack them on the head with a crowbar repeatedly, it does low damage and has a high knock out chance while at the same time doing no real harm
>To steal somethings things, click and drag their character to you
>Vox are immune to fires, play vox for a stronger than human race but you can keep any name you like
>Firesuits in maint also make you immune to fires
>If you take 45 units of hyperzine you can move through space as if you have a jetpack
>Taking the captains ID at roundstart and making yourself the captain gives you space law immunity

I dunno about that. I can't think of any prior asskissing either DenkouZ or I had with the coder """metaclub""" before adding the slime reactions.

You seem to mistake how many people take shitposts about coders/admins completely at face value.

There are no botanist jobs, only bartender, and the cap is 1.

Get back under the desk, nerd.
t. Intigracy

Oh and black gloves so you can remove light tubes and bulbs to finagle a varying light level across the room. Then you can plant your 6-10's by the windows, and the 1-5's in the back

Makes sense not having chef, but you could enable at least one botanist

I'll see what can be done but a lot of that is dreaming that mini is supposed to cater to every job and population and it can't. It's mini.

To be a successful map it has to have the things players want but if it loses focus on its intention by appealing to everyone then it will go to shit.

What can be fit in will be fit in, but we can't have a 1:1 Box.

>emerging from below intigracy's desk briefly to shitpost before going back to pleasing him

desu dude the people who say fuck off are usually idea guys and not coders.

If you bring the server good shit that people want, it gets merged.

The difference between a coder and you is they're willing to do it. That's why they're not coding your idea. Because they have ideas, and we have no lack of them. We do have a lack of coders to fulfill them and even if you became a coder, you wouldn't be interested in coding my ideas. You'd be interested in coding yours.

So that puts us at a crossroads.

Either you want something bad enough to learn to code (or bribe someone to) or you don't.

Sorry for being a shit vampire
I thought I had that turned off

>tfw you get the clowns soul
>tfw you never use it

Go to bed probe.

Right as always

It's fine bro.
I was Sif. I'm unrobust as shit and basically never left the bar. You coulda shrekked me man

holy fuck you honked me hard that round clown
i absolutley died when you told me you had 7 all access ids hidden

>coding dumb meme shit like cancer and Hypothermia list go's on

>had to deal with that god awful goon chat with people spamming gifs and sound files

Never even looked at my objectives man.
I was gonna set up in medbay and commit medical malpractice and put people in retarded frankenstein bodies all round, but there ended up being a medborg, and I was non-human.
So that kind of didn't work out.

Hugh will always get the golden ticket

>RD joins, blows up the apc to get guns and leaves to continue greytiding
>Nobody does absolutely anything about it

Cool shit

>riding Intigracy as you shitpost
>riding Intigracy as HE shitposts

Oh no you were inconvenienced a whole round one time? That's awful!

It's almost like what the fuck do you expect when getting people to code you shit for free.

ELF

you serious?

I don't know why it never occurred to me that Sif looks so much like a dark skinned elf. Or a Viera. She was based off Shinobu from No More Heroes and, well, here we are.

Yee

The second I saw you, I had images popped up of dark skinned elves. lel

Could have been worse I guess.

Better than some pink haired waifu bait

Right?
I've been mentioned in the thread, people will hate me eventually. That's how it works. This is not the method I expected to be mentioned though.

Just keep your head down and don't fall for the bait of thirst

>don't fall for the bait of thirst
The what now?

Thirsty dudes trying to waifu you in a space man game

Not really anything I can do about that. Shit, you guys started fucking with me when I went through the hallways.

You're right, fuck.

Looks like I found my new metagrudge target

>join
>admin who
>mrpain666
>leave
>join again in a few hours
>repeat

>join
>adminwho
>intigracy
>jizz myself
>leave
>join again in a few hours
>repeat

>join
>adminwho
>nobody
>grief
>leave
>join again in a few hours
>shitpost

>join
>adminwho
>kammerjunk
>hate her because she stoley husbando and doesn't even treat him right
>leave
>join again in a few hours
>repeat

>join
>adminwho
>no intigracy
>no kammerjunk
>shitpost
>leave
>join again in a few hours
>repeat

>join
>adminwho
>kammerjunk and intigracy
>masturbate to the thought of them fucking as they admin
>leave
>join again in a few hours
>repeat

Really fucking funny guys I'm lmaoing my ass of right now

>you will never roughly deadmin Kammerjunk

>join
>adminwho
>nobody
>metagrudge murderbone mode ENGAGED

There was a bit of arguing for enabling one botanist so we might if the map really needs it. Bartender doesn't have access to open botany lockers so that's why the tools are in the open. Hydroponics might be public access but I didn't check very thoroughly. Your other points are good though and I'll keep them in mind.

You guys have an entire dept. Fucking whyyyyy

Keep logs and make a ban request if he keeps it up

>ZAS memed to death

>Join
>Trifle isn't admin anymore
>leave
>repeat

STATION DESTROYED LETS GO HOME BOYS

Uh
Yes, the bartender does, in fact, have access to botany tool lockers
In fact, all three service jobs have identical access

>Lowpop
>Only sec kills himself like 5 min in
>Everything is emagged, singuloose, shard on fire, purged silicons
>Fucking recalls cause he's a multiple permabanned turboshitter
>Station gets nuke op'd by all the dead ghosts
What a fucking waste

>being this mad you died

>Be doctor, plan to make some beneficial low pop viruses
>Janitor skulking me in medbay oh cool what do you wa-*parapen*
>Drags me to maint, hasn't c4ed me yet so maybe he plans to do something fun like keep me prisoner or torture me
>He leaves me in maint naked with 2 explosive floor sign mines on both sides of me by a welding tank
>I wake up, just toggle walk and place the signs to the side
>Put on some clothes from a locker, max suit sensors and find a nearby shovel in a crate
>MoMMI goes to solars, go to follow it
>MoMMI then just sits and watches me after it finishes solars, fuck you I'll just space walk then
>Break out of solars and walk to escape
>Head to medbay, try to get fixed up by clown captain
>My killer lasers the clown
>I try to push him in a chase while retarded due to the parapen and the clown not treating me in time
>Didn't get the lucky push in to window slam him, he drags the clown to space and spaces him, right as I follow I collapse due to retardation and get spaced too

RIP clown cap, I serve you til death

I didn't die though. It's fucking lowpop and he's boning. he tried to upload kill all humans for christs sake. What the fuck.

>station gets nuked
>I DIDN'T DIE

So you're saying, one guy completely destroyed the station.

Against a lowpop crew, so 1-20 guys.

You deserved it.

>suggest feature from bay
>People shoot it down BECAUSE it's from bay

Can't win in that regard, buddy

This

If Hugh wants to be the "captain" he has to act like it, give the crew access and guns.

>you will never have a threesome with Inti and Kammer

>Nobody will ever love you as Kammer does Inti

SAMMIS

>you will never have a foursome with you, inti and kammer

>Kammer will never sit on you as you lie in bed, holding your hands and slowly riding you as you pass out from exhaustion.

>You'll never wake up with her naked chest pressed against you, your seed spilling out of her into the sheets.

>You'll never hear her sleepily tell you that she loves you when you slide inside of her.

>You'll never hold her hand.

>You'll never have this sort of love with anyone.

>Intigracy will never pull you into his lap as you both admin on spess.

>You'll never have him grab your hips and start forcing you down the test of his shaft, making you ride him faster and harder the more stressed out he gets.

>You'll never have him empty his seed inside of you with a relaxed sigh, slumping back in his chair.

>You'll never have gin turn you around to passionately kids him on the lips as you decide to keep bouncing in his lap.

>You'll never wake up in the morning to his face in your sex, making you squirm and moan in pleasure.

>You'll never have him tease his head against your hole before unexpectedly ramming his full length into you, tickling your cervix.

sorry to break it to you my virign friend, but it's a little rude to dick someone as they are falling asleep.

fuck the pain away

user the post you replied to had a chick riding someone falling asleep and a guy waking a chick up with a comfy dicking.

Literally not rude in the slightest.

>log into steam
>tell my friend the round type
>He says "dude what the fuck, that could get us banned"
>I reply "That's the best part, I'll log in as a non-human and you pretend to be my gay lover, the admins can't touch us no matter how hard we break the rules"

Robustness cannot be taught. It must be learned through bitter experience.

I updated Byond and now I'm getting lag out the ass when interacting with things. Like when I try to mine a tile with a pickaxe, the progression meter that appears jumps in big increments instead of filling slowly. What gives?

>tfw Deadpoo won't ERP you on TERA