I would love to start a business but I have 0 capital. How fucked am I?

this.

you start by selling your labor, time or talent. When you get enough work you hire other people to help you. Later when you're making money above what your labor, time and talent are worth you start investing in things like property, equipment, expansion.

Not OP but I'm also interested in starting a biz so I have something to do in my down time. Right now I'm a 3rd year cs/security student and live out of a duffle bag. Not very interested in a 9-5 job because I'm mentally unstable and I don't have to pay tuition for my school so no debt to deal with. Can anyone advise me on where to start? I have computer and people skills and would like to start small and grow.

start up and sell time on a Tf2, minecraft, general webserver, etc.

>go into woods
>chop trees
>this is actually exactly how a business is grown
Is there a worse board than Veeky Forums?

>i dont want to WORK to start a business!!!! im a neet! i just wanna say im the boss and have people do stuff for me. Also i have 0 capital and was asking for an example of a business that i could do with 0 capital.
>this user gave an example of just such a business, but again i dont wanna work

its the worst board cause of people like you. Go to either the ponzi scheme cyrptocoin threads or the robinhood generals cause business aint for you apparently

This is why you'll die poor.

>ill die poor because i dont want to sell worthless shit you can find in the woods that only has relative value in winter months
seriously is there a worse board than Veeky Forums

do you live in the desert? do people not camp in the spring summer and fall?

is there no need for tree removal services where you live?

it was an example neet, i know you are TERRIFIED of work.

You might be retarded desu
Why do you think there are lumber yards everywhere? And, as I said, it's an example of how business works. Apply that PRINCIPLE to whatever is in demand. ie, start a tech company yourself for small profit, use that to hire someone to your team, expand more, sell more, use that money for advertising, and so on.

you know lumber yards arent used to make firewood right? and you know you cant make construction grade lumber with a hand axe right?

For your sake, I hope you're underage. Good lord.

I hope you seriously know that houses arent made out of firewood

>buy axe
>0 capital

sucking dicks is your only option OP

that's pretty neat idea, thank you

a good axe is about $100, he can go work at McDonald's for a day

>pet rock adoption agency
>town crier model for a PR firm
>guarding something
>sidewalk toll collector
>soliciting donations to start a Non profit/church/whatever
>stool inspector
>poison taster
>garbage rummager
>the worst magician in the world
>feminine doormat
>living target

Are you a programmer? If yes, then you just need a chink laptop to get to work on your first product. Ideally, get some mates to help and build something together.

Human comfort (think hugging-cafe or fake-friend in Japan)
Housecleaning (with costumers' cleaning equipment)
Purchaser for old people who cannot leave their homes
Walk dogs
Babysitter

what kind of program would people pay for ???

Do you have any idea how long it takes to chop a fucking tree down? Also how do you plan on transporting the wood? By the time you sell the wood you would have spent so much time chopping that fucking thing down you would be making far below minimum wage. Also have fun finding a public forest where you can just chop a tree down for free.

Nice grrm impression, bub.

>Learn to craft something cool as a hobby
>sell that shit on etsy
>gain notoriety
>go to niche cons selling products tailored for the specific con
>get more popular
>branch out to other shit
>go to more public events
>hire people to help with increased popularity and demand
>get enough demand+popularity to hire even more people to do everything for you
>create business

Any. Find a niche and make something. Then, when you gain first profits, invest in another one with a better team. Then another one. Slowly build new and expand your old products.

What exactly you should make is dependant on what you know. Do you know C/C++? Maybe some closed-source library for highly efficient calculations? PHP and other webcrap? Make some online solution for doltz that knows nothing about software. Sky's the limit.

Shit if you're that desperate go steal an axe, go to some store like Home Depot away from where you live, wear a hat, walk to the axes, grab it and walk out

See kiddo, lemme tell ya about demographics.

When I was your age I thought to myself "Gee, I hope my business appeals to the general public..."

That was a mistake.

Y'see kid, what you need to do is find a niche to sell to. A niche that NEEDS what you're selling. You don't need the whole world to like your product, just the people who'd be willing to buy anything from you in the first place.

Many people don't understand this and ask things like "who the fuck needs firewood in august fagoot" People like this are why the Pareto Principle exist.

>0 capital

It's easy.
>get into a big store where they give out free pens/pencils
>find a pamphlet with decent white space on
>go to a public wifi area filled with hipsters
>ask to watch through their tablet/laptop some videos on yt
>the hippy will respect that
>watch Primitive technology
>write all of it down on the paper
>before leaving check the biggest forest area nearby
>march there
>start building you own equipment until you reach the iron age
>make that axe
and then follow this