Kid

Get perfect grades in highschool and study for the ACT. Get a job asap. Start trading now.

Short oil and Chipotle mid 2015

put all your money into Chipotle now and sell by 2015

Put money in Apple and Amazon they are only going up

...

Quit school to work full time anywhere so long as you get 40hrs per week
Get a second night job as soon as old enough to earn more money
Save save save every penny - leech off parents as much as possible
Don't worry about nofriendz
Buy Apple stock
Invest in Google
Buy bitcoins for $0.05
Invest in Facebook
Buy Tesla stock
Buy gold
Short Enron

Everything you own in bitcoin

Lift weights

Dont get yourself too riled up about girls. Smoke less weed and work harder.

Kill yourself now, the kikes win

most important

stop wasting time on instant gratification bullshit for one, such as games, getting high, etc.. all leads to absolutely NOTHING to show for anything.

invest your time into projects and hobbies that can grow into something tangible and worthwhile.

learn to force self to work hard all day at these things instead of always thinking you need a break and to reward yourself with more instant gratification shite. at teh time it doesnt seem like it matters because you got all the time in the world, but eventually your over 25 and wondering what the fuck was wrong with you and why you were such a dumb ass

>start lifting seriously
>play football for another school, ditch your retarded school pride and you can very easily get a scholarship
>school is more important than sleeping with beach whores, there are whores everywhere
>look both ways on that intersection in pontiac
>dont ignore that phonecall on daves 21st bday
>buy as many aapl stocks as you can afford
>dont let her go, youll know her when you meet her
>stop playing the victim card, lots of people have a bad hand in life, quit moping and get to work
that should do it

Don't hesitate

>dont ignore that phonecall on daves 21st bday
Gonna need a story on this. This stands out.

He died.

Also fpbp

I want to hear that from him unless you are him.

Sounds like he committed suicide. Did he call you and you never called him back for a year or so? Or did he go out drunk driving and crash his car?

Im sorry for the loss but I'm curious.

That just hit me like a ton of bricks

stop putting things in your anus is not healthy!
you are not going to use anything you learned from school you are smart learn and master something useful. anyway your future self is proud of you.

Buy btc

Don't get married, don't even get tied down in a long term relationship until after you have it made. They are time and money sinks.

Buy some alcohol and a rope.

You're going to have a chance to date a very attractive girl in your junior year who also is a member of a super rich surgeon family. Don't fuck that up.

Also you're going to have a chance to date a religious nutjob in college. I fucked that up immediately and have no regrets. Stay the course on that one.

CERU mah nigga.

Get on antidepressants, avoid WoW.

Invest in Netflix

this and lift heavy

Don't buy silver

>stop playing the victim card, lots of people have a bad hand in life, quit moping and get to work

I should do something with this...

Don't go to Germany

Start mining btc

Checked.

"Start doing stronglifts TODAY you skinny faggot."

What the fuck are you doing you entitled cunt?

1 Billion people on earth STARVING, living on less than $2 a day, and look at you, princess. You got your cushy house, running water, heating, cooling, free education, a fridge full of food, and you didn't do a god damn thing to deserve it. You never lifted a fucking finger, you were just born in the wealthiest nation on earth. You think you're poor? Please get a grip on reality, you cringeworthy loser. You need to get the fuck out of loserville.

Get off your lazy ass and work. If you're going to be lazy, just fucking kill yourself right now. I'm serious, just kill yourself. A lazy life is the meaningless life of a nobody. I want you to work so hard that your head hurts when you go to bed. I want you to work so hard that you wake up screaming in the middle of the night.

Meaningfulness is more important than happiness. I would rather die right now than live a meaningless life. I want your life to mean something. I want you to have a profound impact on the world, and leave something great behind when you die.

No, I'm not going to give you any stock tips. You have already been handed EVERYTHING in life. Now you're gonna work for it. Work hard you cunt, don't waste a single day. Start right now, right this very second, do the thing that you're putting off. Do it right now or kill yourself. No more excuses.

this

Thats harsh dude

All great tips user.

This is it.

Bumping, I'm young, 19, and this I needed a good thread like this.

Buy as much Bitcoin as I possibly can, and HOLD the majority of it.

Tell myself to withdraw 100,000 of the profits and bet on the Giants in the super bowl. Use all those profits to place a bet on Holly Holmes vs. Ronda Rousey.

Give myself the winning powerball numbers for the 1 billion jackpot.

Buy immortality in my 50s.

Live Comfy off the interest of my investments for ETERNITY.

>buy immortality

from who, clown?

>45 posts
>only 3 say to buy bitcoin

pretty sure google is researching it.

*citation needed

/thread, tell your dad too. Everything else is redundant

I get it. You're in a bad place mentally. You hate it here, in the city, in this dogshit school, in all these places. You've got kevin and scott you have to measure up to and you want to make money. You want some form of independence.

You can have it, and it can be closer than you think. You're in a position right now where you can have some freedom a lot faster than you think. High school blows, but focus. Get those grades up. Look into grants and scholarships. Don't let mom and Dad talk you into community college quite yet.

Getting out on your own is going to be a healing experience. It's going to change your outlook drastically for the better. It's only three years away, but you need to put the work in -now- to make it happen.

By the way, don't go work at McDonald's quite yet. You're gonna hate it.

Don't be in a rush to get a car either. And don't get a Chevy.

don't ever visit Veeky Forums you'll never leave
t. 31 yr old

Don't let Dana go.

I know who you are

You are going to suffer a lot and it won't make you a better person. In truth it will make you a much worse person than you are come high school.

/thread

Before I begin, I was 15 in 2007-2008.

- Change high schools if you can. The one you're at now isn't worth shit.

- Apply to more colleges. (The private college that I ended up going to was solely because my dad works there in a non-faculty role and got me a huge discount. I feel I could have done better somewhere else.)

- Take more AP courses.

- Drop JCXP, WinMatrix, Geeksmack, and whatever ricing boards you're on. You're not learning shit by posting there.

- Lean Python. Start writing some shitty webapps. They'll take off in a year or two.

- Mine small amounts of Bitcoin (since you don't have access to a credit card yet) and hoard it for a few years.

- You'll find a hot girl that's a year ahead of you in your web design class. Try to be friendly but realize that she already has a boyfriend and will date him throughout high school. Don't keep in touch after high school, though.

- You still have autism. You were born with it. You cannot change it or how people see it. Once you realize this, you can really fight back against people's perceptions of you (and the "academic plan" on your file that WILL be misread on the state test next year and invalidate it).

- Don't worry about the fact that you're not partying/having sex/doing stuff from "10 Things I Hate About You". That school is across town in the richer neighborhood.

-Pay more attention in school despite the retards in your year level. Just keep battling on.

-Choose your friends better, stop hanging out with losers

-Start doing more physical activity. Go for a morning run every day before school.

-Get a part-time job soon. The money will help your life massively.

-Stop playing games. Learn something productive like a language or even self-teach math ahead of your class

Just made this my wallpaper. I won't let you down.

Take the 97k my parents gave me for college and dump it into Netflix stock instead of going to college.

Talk and spend more time with the girl you had a crush on. I blew 2 amazing opportunities with girls I know had a crush on me as well. I was just too much of a pussy to go any further.

didn't need to do anything else but invest in $0.05 bitcoin. That would've made you enough

feel better user

AAHHHHHHH IM FUCKING RILED UP GONNA PUNCH A NIGGA IN THE FACE

and your 15 year old self would reply to you
>lol shutup fag
No, your advice is fucking useless for a teenager. Nice wasted opportunity.

Just try your absolute hardest & everything will work out. Be happy. Quit smoking, it's going to get extremely hard to quit later. Start meditating. Don't work as much while you're in school, it'll be worse for you in the long run. Spend more time time with your parents, they're not as bad as you think.

1. dont be a fucking moron and go to college immediately after graduation.
2. when you first hear of bitcoin itll be at $2/BTC, trust your instincts and throw everything at it that you can.

>15 year old self
>bitcoins existing

How fucking young are you faggots

Nothing, really. It's been weird and even though I've been through some bad stuff, I think the cascading changes to my life decisions would end with me not having what I have right now -- and I definitely want what I have right now.

Never believe a fucking thing a real estate agent tells you.

No one wants you to be more successful than them.

Before you get into any "lock solid deal", find out how to get out of it any time you want to do so.

When you find that hot girlfriend you will ultimately marry, remember that you don't need to spend outside your means so she'll have a place to put her "stuff".

Have $10,000/mo passive income by the time you are 54 or some dickhead conceived in the back seat of a car at Denny's will use his 3 years of management experience to lay you off and then he'll go get the sides of his head shaved so that he can look like a Viking reject with his red thread wrist band.

That image made me laugh

>What the fuck are you doing you entitled cunt?
>1 Billion people on earth STARVING, living on less than $2 a day, and look at you, princess. You got your cushy house, running water, heating, cooling, free education, a fridge full of food, and you didn't do a god damn thing to deserve it. You never lifted a fucking finger, you were just born in the wealthiest nation on earth. You think you're poor? Please get a grip on reality, you cringeworthy loser. You need to get the fuck out of loserville.
>Get off your lazy ass and work. If you're going to be lazy, just fucking kill yourself right now. I'm serious, just kill yourself. A lazy life is the meaningless life of a nobody. I want you to work so hard that your head hurts when you go to bed. I want you to work so hard that you wake up screaming in the middle of the night.
>Meaningfulness is more important than happiness. I would rather die right now than live a meaningless life. I want your life to mean something. I want you to have a profound impact on the world, and leave something great behind when you die.
>No, I'm not going to give you any stock tips. You have already been handed EVERYTHING in life. Now you're gonna work for it. Work hard you cunt, don't waste a single day. Start right now, right this very second, do the thing that you're putting off. Do it right now or kill yourself. No more excuses.
I read this post imagining Warren Buffett saying it to some frat boys at a party where he was drunk as shit and had his tie around his head like a headband and was calling Charlie Munger "my bitch"...

Get a job, stop acting like a lazy nigger and start investing in bitcoin now.

And I forgot one last thing. It was the jews.

back to /pol/

amen

>eat less than 2000 calories a day
>try to get girls in your teens so you aren't an anxiety ridden sperg as an adult

DO NOT FUCK MELANIE SWANZ! The bitch will give you herpes.

Honestly it's this.

work hard

>get part time job ASAP
>invest all money from that job into Apple and Google stock
>Consider investing in Kraft as a merger with Heinz will eventually happen, spiking the share price up dramatically
>don't sell for the next 7 or 8 years

Fuck Shiila, Shiela, Richelle, Christine, Joana, and all of the other bitches that wanted your D. Or you'll stay a virgin till your 21.

you want to get Biff? cause that is how you get Biff.

If I would have known then how much money €600 for a PS3 and €60 for a game I played maybe twice was I would I would have NEEEEEEEVER spend that much money on that shit.

I don't regret buying shit that never ages like lego because my kids can play with it. But I when I think about the monstrous amount of money I have spent on shit like pokemon/Yu-gi-oh cards and video/computer games I only played a few times I cringe.

It EASILY exceeds 5k. That was 5k of MY money, I got WITHOUT HAVING TO WORK FOR IT I threw away because I didn't understand how much it was back then. FUCK.

This is pure cringe.

That's creepy as fuck. I was thinking about not going to Germany and then 2 seconds later I read this. What the fuck this this psychic hivemind?

fuck off back to redit

Invest in Bitcoin

Don't take Gretchen to Roberta's house

What happened user?

pure coincidence, do what you had to do, watch less movies

Steph?

>"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do."

Stop staring at her you creepy fuck and just ask her out
Being calorie-conscious is easy, try it
Tell your doctor you think you have ADHD
Buy Bitcoin

Read rich dad poor dad

Ask jen to homecoming....easy lay

Don't do engineering in college

This. It still gets to me that I could have got out of my shitty situation if I'd listened to my gut and put money into it when I had the chance.

Take that fucken welding class in high school.

"hello, i am future you. I if you only know what i know now. son, gear up on kneepads and work the truck-stop for several days. Use the proceeds to build a GPU mining cabinet and mine the hell out of buttcoin. Guaranteed millionaire in your 20s."

go ahead and bang that girl that smiles at you and touches your arm.
>which girl?
all of them.