/shsg/ - Selling Human Shit General

> Look on craigslist for a hot girl seeking acting jobs.
> Tell her you're a filmmaker and you'll pay her $40 cash for 30 minutes of her time. Your story is you're shooting a short avant-garde film.
> Put an ad on craigslist with a photo of the girl. Ad should, in a round about way, advertise that you are selling the girl's fresh poop for $200.
> Wait until some freak gives you an offer, schedule to meet him at a Wal-Mart parking lot.
> Shit in a tupperware container, seal it tight.
> Have the girl ride with you to the sale to make it look legit.
>Keep your dad's shitty old camcorder or something mounted on the dashboard to make it seem like you're recording a movie.
> Don't tell the girl that you're actually selling shit.
> Sell poop to weirdo.
> Enjoy your $160 profit.

If you're lucky, he'll enjoy the product and become a repeat customer.

bag it up, sell as fertilizer

easy af

It has literally already been done, 50 years ago.
You're not interesting or unique.

I can wholesale my stool for your venture.
Think about it.

Screen capping this as reference for later.
Thank you.

Do places accept human waste as fertilizer though?
Are there regulations against doing this.

>You're not interesting or unique.
Never said that I was.

Where does your true beef lie user?
Is it your distaste for my desire to sell human fecal matter?
Or rather that someone else is actually making an attempt of achieving their goals?

Thanks for the lead, but apparently Piero Manzoni didn't actually shit in the cans according to Google.

Why doesn't this board have a janitor?

Sell it as art.

real talk OP, if you are in the jenkem scene you can sell poop of people with certain diets

>tfw swim used to buy poop from a polish guy who only ate sauerkraut and other veggies

Yes, it's legit. It's top of the list for screwing with people you don't like.

Send them literal shit. I'm laughing just thinking about it.

>sell biohazard material
you want international shipment too you fucking terrorits?

It does, but seeing how this one of the more informative threads going presently, it wouldn't make much sense to flag it. Welcome to Veeky Forums; the board that makes /trash/ look like linkedin.

What kind of diet does this entail?
Does the ability to get paid for poo outweigh the cost of the diet?

nice!

>you want international shipment too
Is the shipping free? Or will that come out of my proceeds?

mfw, literal shit posting is more informative than most of Veeky Forums

>Is the shipping free?
if you are a chink
>free shit from china
uhm now it makes sense

>What kind of diet does this entail?
>Does the ability to get paid for poo outweigh the cost of the diet?
Tbqh I have no idea. You may want to direct this to a drug forum or to 420chan's /jenkem/

I doubt returns are good since. Except to barely break triple digits if you are lucky.

Basically this. Just tell freaks its dominatrix shit or whatever.

There's a woman who had a website I remember seeing on Totse years ago. Anyway, she used to make food out of her poop. She had things like shit filled twinkies in her store and you could order bags of her poop that had been like vacuum sealed.

I mean whatever, OP. Good luck.

i'm guessing the fda had issues with her practice

I'll buy it OP, just send me an email, but I'll warn you, this isn't a testament of your talent as a salesman, as it is a testament to the depths of my depravity.

[email protected] ;)

Is that picture real? What the fuck?

I saw that website just a couple weeks ago, still alive and well.

It was like princess alexa's shit or something.

Faecal matter can be used for crop fertilisation

Possible way of doing it would be to get it wholesale from sanitation companies (those ones that pump the shit out of portaloos at festivals for example) and sell it dirt cheap either to farmers or to hippie-dippie homegrow/urban farming people.

The key here would be to get it for free or ridiculously cheap and undercut normal fertiliser products.

That's my guess anyway

You could literally go to a Wendy's bathroom and scoop out a pile of terds. Why would any (sane?) individual actually purchase such a easily-accessibly commodity.

I think that's why it'd be considered a challenge.
Do you not push your limits to improve yourself user?

Oh, it's feasible alright. It's probably easier than you'd think.

here's one method: polish some turds and make them into novelty necklaces. No, seriously. Have you seen polished turds? They look REALLY NICE.

Here's another: shit in a bottle, sell dumb middle schoolers ''high grade jenkem''.

And another: sell your shit to perverts. That would actually be really easy. People sell bottles of piss all the time.

And another: claim it's medicine or holds some kind of special power. Indians drink cow shit and piss already and I have heard of people claiming putting cow shit in hot water could help your digestion.

But you can, dude. It's an art. It's an exercise in creativity.

No, it's not legit. They send clay that looks like shit through the mail, not real shit. They could get the crap sued out of them if their shit gave people diseases, you know? You can't set up a professional shit business in the west, not easily.

If you could find a way to mask the smell and kill off the bacteria I'd buy some polished turd jewelry, no joke. It would be fashionable and amusing, kinda like baculum (animal dick) earrings. That's right, people wear animal dick jewelry.

Or you could make some fecal sculptures, if they were good I'm sure someone would buy them.

this dude made an iron man portrait out of bloody piss and it won a prize

anything goes in the art world, bruh

gizmodo.com/5894300/iron-man-made-of-pee-gets-student-top-art-prize

comicsalliance.com/blood-urine-iron-man/

bloody piss worth 13k. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU BELIEVE!

Idk, you can ask her yourself if you want
leenaraven.deviantart.com

Holy shit, this is cray cray
I found the link foe anyone else that's curious
www.pooalexa.com

>The key here would be to get it for free or ridiculously cheap
I plan on making a homebrew on site.
Fresh from the oven.

>Why would any (sane?) individual actually purchase such a easily-accessibly commodity.
People purchase water bottles even though you could get drinking water for free from a fountain.
I think this is a similar concept.
Sure anyone can shit.
But wouldn't you rather have "DELUX+++ shit: Premium shit à la commode"?

You. I like you.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ttongsul

>not blending and transferring it into syringes for easy insertion

selling a piece of human shit is a really lame idea, it's small time af
you should make people pay you for collecting their shit, which would also make them save money cuz you'd be smart enough to charge them just a little less than what it'd cost to flush all that shit, also they wouldnt need to install a fancy toilet, all they need is a special bucket they rent from you, with your company name on it, say SHSG : Synergic Humans Saving Goals or something, Idk.
Then you find some neets willing to work in government financed jobs (I dont know if these exist everywhere but in france you can hire anyone who's a legit neet with special contracts that are paid for up to 95% by taxes). Their work would be to collect the shit for you, they don't cost you anything, and you pile up huge amounts of shit while being paid for it which is already nice.
Now what you can do with shit is making green energy, get even more money from the government if you do the stuff right cuz they will always fund eco projects.
Start a green energy fueled company, like those busses that litterally run on poop, or those farms that produce so much electricity that they can sell back some to the grid.
Grow the best weed ever in the farm, sell it.
People will smoke more, and then get the munchies ; they will eat more, and they will shit more. More shit = more money.

>I plan on making a homebrew on site.

A one-man operation will take too long to generate sufficient quantities to sell in bulk.

You will also have to purchase more food to increase fecal production, which would shrink your margins

Two words: chocolate ice cream

You'll be more likely to get a buyer if you put it into pill capsules first rather than just handing them a turd.

Market it for growing weed, duh

If I was that customer I would want her to shit in the tupperware right in front of me to confirm that it's her shit and that the shit is fresh and to the texture and color of my preference.

Your company logo needs to be a dung beetle.
>health
>natural
>Egypt
You are selling, nay, providing human waste rolled into perfect spheres.

JENK IZ RUEEEL

look up secretlover3 on tumblr. she is selling videos of her shitting for big money

>A one-man operation will take too long to generate sufficient quantities to sell in bulk.
I wasn't really planning on making a living from this but I like the way you think.
Go big or go home right?

Kek. I think I can manage some soft serve ;)

seems like I could bundle this idea with to sell it as some kind of health supplement

>If I was that customer I would want her to shit in the tupperware right in front of me to confirm that it's her shit
This seems like it would be the challenging part, unless the girl is into scat gigs
>to the texture and color of my preference
How would one even be able to regulate this?

>regulations against doing this.
That's a bullshit conspiracy. A lot of human waste has food preservatives in it, and if the poop was recycled, The preservatives would be in the produce, and food processors would not need to buy preservatives again. It's wrong.

You're not the first person to do this.

Beta faggots with scat fetishes literally pay camwhores to send them actual shit/food like brownies made out of their shit.

Are you a pretty grill? Because you can make $50 a day just by pooping if you are.

>You're not the first person to do this.
We covered this, see
>send them actual shit/food like brownies made out of their shit.
We covered this too, see for one of the websites we found regarding poo food.
>Are you a pretty grill?
No, but we covered how to make a profit off of said grills here >That's a bullshit conspiracy
What is exactly?
I simply asked a question.

>I wasn't really planning on making a living from this but I like the way you think.
>Go big or go home right?

More like who the fuck is going to purchase six or seven turds from a stranger. It doesn't fit any use case that I can think of besides scamming them.

Now like a few barrels of it, or a tanker full of it, that's a different matter. That could be used for a small farm if sold cheap enough- I think the urban farmers would be the best bet, as many would be hippy retards who'd think using human feces would save the planet or something. Also wouldn't require massive shipments, a barrel or two would last them for a little while I suspect.

Bear in mind that if you could get a sanitation company to just give you the shit for free, as it's literally just waste that they'd throw away anyway, then anything you sell is pretty much 100% margin, bar storage and transport.

It's actually a lot more viable than 99% of the shitty 'uber for dogs' startups popping up these days that don't even think of monetizing until the product is built. This fucking sells itself if you price it so that it undercuts the fuck out of normal commerical fertilizers

Actually, fuck, turns out that while selling shit as biosolids IS a thing, it's not legal unless the poo is treated at least once. You can't just apply fresh turds to land to be used for food production unless some of the bacteria is removed:

modernfarmer.com/2014/07/stink-human-poop-fertilizer/

Still theoretically doable, but would require either starting a biosolids production business, or just keeping it very small and on the DL so you don't tip off the po-lice

The secret of being a good salesman is not to make people buy shit they don't want (literally) but to find people who WANT to buy your shit.
So really you gotta be asking who would WANT ro buy shit? It would be someone who has a really bad shit fetish, maybe try craigslist for that.
Or maybe you can find some med student who writes a doctorate on human shit or studies and would like to acquire some. Of course you'd need shit of certain qualities for that as he wouldn't want just any shit, so for example you could sell shit of a Vegetarian, a Vegan and a normal eater so a Med student could compare them and sell it as a bundle.

Otherwise I don't really know who'd pay for shit. Maybe Nasa who wants to fertilize Mars in the future. You could cheaply sell your constant shit to NASA and make it a subscription kind of deal. The best idea though is already taken which is

Do this but with a shit bakery online service.

Neat