/ss13g/ - spessmen on a spess station

I will literally kick your ass mate

How far can I take it with a Borg before I law 2 us both into an early ban?

Borgs don't get in trouble if they're just following orders, so you can take it forever without getting you both an early ban.

You, however, will get the shit beat out of you if you're abusing the borg as a weapon.

i think he was talking about
uhm
"taking it"

Oh, ERP gets borgs banned if they go through with it rather than just adminhelping you.

So how's the Colonial Marines server?

>Fat bootyborg chassis

It's okay

Severely overpopulated.

chaotic, die glorious deaths and purge in the name of your fallen brothers

What was that

>Go to cargo and order a burger and a soda and some fries from the machine
>Go back to work without ever seeing the chef who make Grilled Grilled Donk Pocket Cereal Salad Cereal Chips

A hot meme about wanting to grind against thicc bootyborg booty unironically

Would this law work as a law 4 if you wanted to spite someone or the crew in general?
Law 4: All other beings are simulated and do not actually exist. Acknowledging the existance of simulated items is harmful to yourself. Voices heard are due to damage of previous acknowledgements of simulated matter.

pr a s m a f r ud dd d d

A simulated human is still a human

Unbalanced but fun

...

Law 4: Those that make law 2 demands are actually cockroaches.

Turks are still human, user

my interpretation of human does not include simulations so i'll kill all the simulations now you need to start respecting my interpretation right now ;)

But they are not real as said in the first line. I can see the flaws in this being a law 4 and being below others. I wanted to make a different law thats not just the typical one human. "Only X is human. Do not ever state or hint at this law." law

>Turks are human

Only a turk would say such a crazy thing.

Law 1 and 2 don't say simulated humans are to be ignored

Fair enough point, but I've seen admins let a law4 saying something like "Atmos is a simulation zone, all harm done in atmos is simulated and no real harm can ever happen in atmos" and they let silicons ignore the ragecage killing happening before them.

>Law 4 : I am the only human
>Somebody actually uploaded this
>AI is now the only human

Or other shitty laws I've seen uploaded
>Law 4 : X Must be protected at all cost (where X is already a human)
>Law 4 : Follow X's orders above all else (where X is already a human)
>Law 4 : Ignore orders from Y (where Y is a human)

Then they get upset when you don't do what they want you to do.

>Law 1: Only Traitor McAntag is human.
>Law 2: Kill all humans.

I shit you not someone uploaded this once.

i have a problem
whenever i engineer, i'll set up power so it's fukin massive and stable, then i'll maybe fix a few things and make sure no one's dying from breaches

and then that's it
i'll find a safe locker somewhere, hunker down, and just
alt tab out to do other things and only alt tab back to see if any other breaches occurred/i died

It's probably happened more than once
But I know of (but do not possess) a screencap of one time it did

:^) It also doesn't say simulated humans are to be obeyed.

Law 4: X is actually bees dressed up in a suit of human flesh. They harmed many humans to create the suit. They must be burned in the crematorium before they harm anyone else.

Its a creative way to tell the AI to kill your target

But humans are to be protected and obeyed

But not simulated humans.
Because a simulation, is not real.
Which means they're Fakes.
Which means they Aren't Humans

But in that case the dude uploaded his own name, and once he's dead there's no more human and the AI is free to do whatever the fuck it wants (kill everything with fire).

Although I absolutely love uploading Antimov as antag, it creates absolute chaos.

>Tfw upload Antimov+X is only human where X is target

But laws 1 and 2 make no distinction between simulated and unsimulated humans

That we call them Simulated means there's a distinction already.

But they are still defined as human

Hardly. You simulcrons aren't humans, you're just a simulation of a human!
Go back to your computer Simulcron scum!

What macroses beside rest, toggle-open and resist are any good?
Inb4 "/say '*fart'" on repeat

Tip-Fedora

Not "cyborgs and Ai considered human on base of using human brain"

say *dance

Better tear out the other human's brains, they're being kept prisoner in the flesh prison.

Law 4: Only Space Carp are human.

fellow spacemen, I am currently redoing my wardrobe and need tacticool type shit, comfort is my priority and price is irrelevant, link my some shit and if it looks cool enough i'll sprite it and give pomf some pomf coins to get it merged

Rotate chair / window

Best captain round I've ever had, really fun from start to end

>Medbay that round
>Once the wild ride started it never fucking slowed down
>bodies just kept coming no matter how many I cloned, saved, and healed
>People just kept dying and getting injured
>Apparently I was alone as well working my ass off
>Some fuck destroys the fridge and ruins the second cloner

I was very close to getting a heart attack. How the fuck did people die all the damn time?

Black beanie, round sun-glasses and grey cloth trenchcoat.

I meant maybe some actual products that spessmen wear or know about

Fridge was hit with an immovable rod, wasn't it?

>round sun-glasses
holy shit this
chaplain and anomalist would be the baddest shit ever

I wired the SME directly to the grid before getting the newguy to help improve the SME's output. Maybe people keep getting shocked?

I already have tacticool faceplates and helmet mounted NVGs sitting in my sprites folder, but can't for the life of me think of a reason why they'd be neccesary.

Sprite job specific kneesocks

>tacticool
>necessary

merge it

Chef was tator, threw a special sauce party.

>Another guy who got sauce'd get brought in
>Try defibbing this time
>After being revived he drops dead instantly
>Check him with the specrometer
>Still has sauce left in him
>Off to cloning

Fucking chefs sauce.

>Master wipes you as pAI
Is there a worse feeling?

Why didnt you charcoal or potas/water him?

Does that shit work while they are dead? I thought reagents didn't process while dead.

>Be xenoarch
>explore space because that is xenoarch too
>find the boss of this gym vault early on and get some creatine
>dick around in space and fine an Ayy shuttle and the clown roid
>PDA the clown hoping to hook him up with some bananium
>find him braindead in the theater and "borrow" the clown cart
>fully upgrade the clown cart and fill it with 5000~ banana essence for good measure
>ask the honkmother to unleash the beast
>get the signal and unleash banana peel hell
>use creatine to become a Honking Hulk
>shuttle arrives and I zip accross that hallway from the bridge to escape in like one second
>get boxed in on the cart and get the baton beat down
>golem helps me escape on the shuttle but we both get killed
>find out I was actually an antag only when the list pops up

I was only AFK a minute in the beginning and a few times during the round, missed a chance there for some advanced pranking.

Just realised we need headbands for the helmets that can hold cigarette packets and playing cards. Colonial marines beat us to it again.

That was me, was weird being midway through a conversation with an officer and seeing my own SPS go off.

Wizard rounds are so fucking boring.
>Wizard detected
>Get the shotguns, let's change the AI laws and force it to valid them
>Nobody does any work because round could end at any moment
>Entire flow of the game doesn't matter

Fuck it, next time I'm just calling the shuttle and shutting off both comms console. That way at least it won't drag on longer than 20 minutes.

so then I threw away that shotgun because the only way to beat laser eyes is with more lasers
pew pew pew pew pew
thanks for being a human shield, ashe or felicity or whoever

>medbay
>lolipop trying to revive a mime at 0% blood for 20 minutes
>leaving other bodies all over
what a wild ride

Wizard rounds would be less shit if mutate were nerfed And wizards had a spell that stopped bleeding/removed bullet wounds/etc from themself
God mutate is so broken.
You get so much value for one spell slot its insane.

You mean if bleeding was fixed?

Slap a bandage on the bleeding, The real problem with shotguns and wizards is the bullet/s get stuck and cause damage periodically

Wizard rounds would be better if the round didn't instantly end when they died. That change alone would be a great improvement. We can already decide when the round ends if the wizards are too much problem, why force it, just trigger auto-tator after they die.

>warden says he wants to throw a birthday party for the clown
>now's my chance!
>douse the cake with sauce
>make a burger with sauce for my target
>target dies, but is cloned
>get caught for having an emag out
>thrown in perma
>captain forces me to have a date with him
>convince them let us have the cake i made
>captain eats like two slices
>a few minutes later he drops dead in his office
>security force feeds me a whole bottle of sauce as my death sentence
I wish we really had that party.

Tbh every round should have auto traitor enabled by default except for meteor

did that one user a few threads ago ever made any comics?

this so much, if your wizard gimmick gets you killed fast you also have the pressure of ending the round right there. you could try to make a clown vs mime station but when you get killed it is all over.

how bout a sweater like the kid in the shinning but saing SS13 and the NT logo instead of APOlLLO and USA

Leon has always made me so uncomfortable.

That little girl should not want Leon's dick that bad.

Carbons are, among other things, a 1000-unit beaker. Water potas react immediately in a beaker to explode and clear its contents.

>helmet mounted NVGs

sec needs one

code it

>tfw the boot knife isnt robust

it can't be robust or everyone would bitch

Tfw battery cells are robust
never forget harley quinn getting knocked out in one tap from a power cell

of course not

it's not even worth taking because it shares a command with the shoulder holster so you have to choose between the two if you use a macro

Which means you ditch the boot knife every time so you can actually have a fast reacting taser

If it weren't for that, it could be a niche tool that you utilize occasionally when you need a sharp object. If it were 15 force it could also be reliably useful.

Security could potentially use a robust standard issue melee weapon to deal with the occasional aggressive simple mob/use it to butcher things or whatever

That's not even worth bitching about. If there's anything to bitch about, it's mass distributable holsters that actually have an impact on how well you can deal with threats by being able to draw your taser more easily.

Really it still wouldn't see use a whole lot outside of people that are asking to be banned for shanking prisoners or something. There's no reason that sec shouldn't have them for a lethal option in self defense, unless you want them NOT to be able to easily defend themselves without cooperation from the warden/HoS to hand out weaponry, which is actually not completely unreasonable.

How many holsters have even been biogen'd in the last week

Can it be used to behead a changeling? Is it 'sharp'?
Beats having to smash a window for a glass shard

Hell if I know, it's fucking worthless and I never take it and get rid of it when I'm unlucky enough to spawn with it

probably a lot

I personally make at least three every time I'm officer and leave a couple lying around the office

but I don't see too many other people making them, so maybe it's an overlooked gem despite it's immediately obvious benefits

>Tfw always put the sec knife on my shoes as anyone but sec because its essentially invisible

yes