Come home from a night out riding my motorcycle

>get out of work early
>someone is parked in my driveway (driveway is long enough to fit 2 cars)
>block it in with my truck
>pass out on bed
>wake up at 11am the next day
>feel like eating some mexican food
>grab keys and go outside
>illegal spic neighbors see me
>they're mad and screaming at me because their cousin's car was trapped in
>they say they'll kick my ass if I do that again
>tell them it's illegal to have 10 people living in their garage
>get in my truck and leave
>a week later call police non-emergency number
>tell them they got people living in the garage (which is illegal according to city law)
>weeks later they move out

wait till you encounter someone like me who doesnt play around and just grabs the 1911 out of the glovebox and reaches out the window and lets off a few into your window

Spotted the mexicuck

A friend of mine got cut off by an Armenian dude and he took off his watch and wrapped it around his fist and punched the dude's window (window shattered/broke into a gorillion little pieces), nothing bad ever came out of it.

If I'm walking down the street & smoking and I see a guy left his window cracked I will usually blow smoke into the cabin so the car smells dank when they get back.

Another friend of mine likes to throw his trash into any convertible that leaves the roof down when parked.

Over here.

You and your friend are the worst kind of people. This is why we can't have nice things.

Why would he give his outlet to some dickhead kid?

Wow, so you're mad that I punished people for being douchey, edgy, and illiterate?
>implying I'm not armed myself
>implying you're not a butthurt piece of party trash who parks in other people's yards

See Anyway, come park on my shit, I'll turn the irrigation system on remotely and spray your car with smelly iron and sulfur filled water which will stain your paint and windows.

>blows smoke into open windows
Jokes on you fag, I like the smell

>speeding in the passing lane behind a few other cars
>no room in the other lanes
>soccer mom in her suv gets on my ass
>slow down slightly
>shes clearly angry
>space opens up in the middle lane
>she moves in and speeds up
>speed up and make sure she can't cut me off
>she has to get back behind me
>slow down
Normally I'll move over, but damn is it fun sometimes

...

>see an early 2000's nissan sedan with a broken headlight in rear-view
>probably 1 carlength behind me while going about 45-55mph
>cut the gas, downshift and handbrake at once
>stopping power with no brake-lights

Mfw i used to live in a garage converted with rooms and bath

My sides, city did come down on us cause my insane mom but we just turned it back into a garage. Played by the citys rules.

No were not illegals

I read that the first time and thought you passed out in the bed of your truck, like some kind of badass alcoholic nomad.

that happened to me last week except it was free public street parking some douches put pylons to reserve.. i drove over all of them and went about my evening

>make a stupid mistake on the road
>speed off and hope nobody who was involved catches up

ABSOLUTELY DIABOLICAL

literally the worst

I regularly stick organic russet potatoes in the tailpipes of luxury bargemobiles

I hate the rich

-posted from my iPhone7S

>fighting with ex on the way to the store
>she is being a twat and wont put her seat belt on
>ask her over and over to put it on because i dont want the ticket
> she says "make me"
> lose my shit and yank up on the seat lever as I slam on the brakes
>seat flies forward and launches her into the windshield

Never had to ask again.

>drive a bmw
>don't use turn signals

I only use turn signals if I can see another car within 50 ft. Otherwise I pretend the road lines aren't there.

>live in busy downtown building with a public easement access to the alley where i park my bikes
>fuckers always park in the easement that's clearly marked NO PARKING
>call cops and bylaw but nothing gets done
>started just blocking them in with my shittiest bike and watching them stress from my window

i'll skip work for this shit.. it's fucking golden

>tell them it's illegal to have 10 people living in their garage
fucking lost it lmao

>be a valet
>don't use deodorant
Muahahahah

What holiday is this??

My neighbors literally hav ethe same thing going on right now, like 60 cars filling up our neighborhood. Nobody throws parties here, hosues are $1M+ and eveyrone's like a quiet professional family.

I googled Indian holidays and Muslim holidays and nothing seems to be today, I thought it was a wedding, they've been having tons of cars building up here since the past week, wtf is this

>things that never happened.

forgot to add, mein nigbros (my neighbors) are brown too, dunno what culture/ethnicity/etc. they are, i think they're some kind of an Islam or something

Whats unbelievable about it?

Oh, the reeeee normie thing. Got it.

Ive done that before? Whats so unbelievable? Oh... probably the gf thing huh

>smunk some weed
>go for a drive
>don't get pulled over
>smonk some more weed at my domicile

absolutely satanic

You should always signal for the car you don't see

>just call the non-emergency number

IS IT REALLY THAT EASY? I have a bunch of hispanics that moved in about a year ago. Lately there have been on average 6-10 cars all week. They fill up the road and create huge blindspots.

Did the police ask for any proof or do they just investigate themselves? I notified my HOA and they just said they can't handle road matters because the road belongs to the county

>mfw

Check your city/county laws about living in garages.
If they have that many people, chances are they got like 4-10 living in the garage.

Just make sure that they do have people living in it, because if they don't, you can probably get in trouble for filing a false police report.

If there's not a car behind me or in the oncoming lane I don't signal

>guy tailgating me
>throw full diaper out my sunroof
>hits his grill and sprays shit all over his hood and windscreen
>he swerves and hits a school bus

I tried this and while it was hilarious, my gf lost her shit harder than anything I've ever seen

It was worth it though

i throw pennies out my sunroof for tailgaters

A good way to get bullets thrown your way from an unstable person.

Had to stop my friends psycho friend from shooting someone for some shit like that one time.

I dont talk to my friend anymore..... autist I swear. The other guy was involuntarily committed at some point.

>living in fear of getting shot

>reeeeeee! gun control is bad, meme

Dude was a felon, he shouldnt have had a gun in the first place. No laws stopped him, could have been any country. lol...

But the point is, if you incite violence expect to have it reciprocated at a more intense level.

My sun roof opens over the roof instead of going inside, I'm too scared it'll just hit the glass

>throw spark plugs out my sunroof
>smash windscreens

>loiter in oil section of local auto shop
>open oil containers and pour silicon carbide dust into each one
>shake them up
>shop goes out of business 1 month later

Uh huh.

>Shit on the carpet in the kitchen
>Leave it for mum to clean up

COMPLETELY INFERNAL

I let people cut ahead in traffic jams because not everyone is in a labor union or has a nice boss that lets you be late more than once

The actual idiots are the people who slow down to gawk at whatever the situation is and the panicky women who drive 2mph any time they encounter a novel situation.

Can you give me tips on being cool?

Cinco de mayo (may 5th) is Mexican independence day. They chimp out like no other around this time. That's the only thing I can think of.

>smash windscreens

Why would you do that? Go on the internet and tell lies

>be in union, 1 minute late counts as absence
>6 minutes early is theft
>clock out 1 minute early
>walked off job
Fuck unions

That's not for quite some time fucking white boy.

eat shit and die, ricardo, before I call the fucking police on you and your 15 other family members living in the fucking garage

Did you get triggered Matthew? Are you worried because I did not acknowledge your white privilege?

>be murrifat
>throw house party
>have some fun, drink and smoke in the privacy of my home
>get arrested
>LAND OF THE FREE

>black guy in biker leathers always speeds down my street
>street happens to be perfect cut-off if you want to skip the local red light
>most people don't bother the block, just cut through and go on
>right after school gets out (3:30-5:00) I stay outside, generally working or staring at my car
>bikerbro starts using the shortcut
>posted speed limit is 25 mph
>regularly flies through doing 40+
>does this for about a week
>start timing him
>next monday, as he flies down the street, back my truck out and block him
>his tires screech and something on the side of his bike sparked all over the road
>has a mini-chimpout
>calmly point across the street to where Jose and his kids are playing in their front yard
>"I'm going to do this every day til you get the point."
>wake up next day
>truck's back windshield is busted, head and taillights as well
>big crack going down front windshield
>shrug, check cameras
>guess who wanted to be a nigger?
>find neighbor's daughter later that day
>buy some trashy weed from one of her friends
>start riding around in my car
>find biker one day
>follow him home
>spread pot seeds around his yard
>kill his dog (BB gun), bury body in forest
>bring evidence to police
>he gets arrested, goes to jail for a few months
>visit his house every few days while he's gone, water his lawn for him
>when he gets back, submit anonymous tip that house is growing pot
>arrested again, house seized by feds

(^:

>things that never happened
You're not going to grow weed like that fag

>anarchy is cool
yuropoor pls

>implying the plants did anything more than sprout a few feet in the air in that time period
I never said I let the plants bud.

Drive diesel. Cut out catalizator. Eat lead peace lovers

>tipping in McDonalds
Well if that isn't just the most American thing I've ever heard

Such a responsible gun owner. So calm and mature in his responses. You make us all proud.

>Faggots tailgate
>Invariably slow down to 10-15km/h under the limit
>Wait for turn/overtaking zone/etc when i know for a fact they'll try to go for it
>WOT
>Have run a 12.85 @ 180km/h
>Leave them in my black-soot-rich-as-fuck smoke
>Back to 10km/h under the limit so they catch back up

Did that a couple times, is funny.

Also I used to like to cut to the left real quick so her head hits the glass in the window.

I once drove past an eco friendly meet or some green peace faggot or whatever the fuck they were. Drove past in my 1984 300D that had fucked feeds, black smoke everywhere.
Didn't do it on purpose though and it doesn't spew black soothe everywhere now.

>>Leave them in my black-soot-rich-as-fuck smoke
fucking degenerate, I hope you die of cancer

Not my fault my ECU is a retard and dumps so much fuel in my wideband screams 'RICH' rather than giving me a number.

is htat tony shaloub

You'll get a motorcyclist killed one day

And I'll be hoping that the motorcyclist is a jihadist bomber riding late to his job.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I'm not a bomber I'm white

>truckerfag pisses me off by being bossy on the road
>follow him to next stop
>pour sugar in his tank when he's taking a piss
Heh heh heh

>smonk
you did this just before you typed this story, didn't you?

He's a problem solver.

>Y...you're s...sp...speeding!?
You're a fucking child.

Why do you people do this? Just get out of the way, clearly they're in a hurry and you're not.

>its ok to speed if u have a good reason
lel!

It's OK to speed for no reason. Why the fuck are you even on Veeky Forums? might be for you.

>It's OK to speed for no reason.

>See the red light
>Don't stop
>Speed like a maniac

Islam is neither a culture or ethnicity. Mudslime is.

Also, kill one and test his DNA
T. No brain damage

>be from Tennessee
>pass car with new York plates on highway
>drift into their lane until they're forced to swerve or honk

Making the South rise again one traffic incident at a time

Just get an old enough one that never even had cats. My 85 f250 has a 6.9 litre diesel. Blows smoke pretty well, and I live in a city full of hipsters and hippies

>on ramp to highway for my daily commute
>ramp is only single lane but the beginning is wide enough for two cars
>always pisses me off the these people try to jump the line thus causing backup due to the new merge at the narrow part of the ramps.
>if you position yourself just right in the middle, no one can pass on the left
>usually works, but one time got the golden spot where no one could pass on right or left of me
>driver behind me tailing in golden zone
>driver coming up on left can't pass, flipping her shit honking and flipping me off that she can't get by
>suddenly another driver tried to pass on the right, but gets up to me and can't pass either
>begin to drive really slowly, straight up stopping for like 30 seconds
>drivers on the right and left can't get by and getting even more frustrated, causing a super jam behind me
>eventually enough space on ramp to just drive normally into the highway
>drive forward looking in my rear view mirror as it's like the three stooges driving where no one can get by now thanks to 3 cars in 1 lane ramp
>check phone like 20 minutes later and it says it's still backed up on that ramp

Tailgating is fucking obnoxious no matter what

>cruising down 2-lane road with a lot of blind corners
>asshole tailgates in his pickup
>I'm already doing 15 over the speed limit
>starts motioning for me to pull to the side so he can pass
>slow down to the speed limit
>honks at me
>do 5 under
>he gives up and tries to pass me
>gun it so he can't
>keep doing this until we get to an intersection where he ends up next to me
>he's flipping me off and yelling at my closed window
>both turning left, road merges immediately after turn
>floor it again and get ahead of him
>do the speed limit until the road widens
>he flies past me
>see him pulled over a couple miles later

>see him pulled over a couple miles later

I don't believe you

>Be in the wrong
>Do something to piss someone off even though I'm clearly in the wrong for no other reason than it pisses this guy off who just wanted to drive normally

Why exactly would you do that?

see

I do this all the time, if I'm already going 10-15 over the limit and you're still trying to pass me you can fuck on off. There is literally no reason for you to even be going that fast and I'll make it a pain in the ass for you to pass.

I'm talking about when people try to pass to just get in front when you're already zooming.

>some asshole in a BMW weaving in a through traffic in a residential area.
>comes up behind me trying to pass
>don't let him
>he gets passed
>zipper bridge coming up
>traffic down to two lanes
>tries to pass from out side
>keep him in
>merges in behind me
>big truck beside me
>match the truck speed
>keep the BMW behind me
>entrance to free way coming up
>BMW makes a break for it
>cop sitting on shoulder
>BMW gets pulled over
>mfw