/wowsg/ - World of Warships Admiral

Unyielding edition

5.9 patch on the 27th:
na.wargaming.net/support/news/445

Patch 5.8 (LIVE):
worldofwarships.com/en/news/common/update-notes-058/

Stat tracker/Stalk your favorite wowsg
warships.today
na.wows-numbers.com/

>Useful Information:
pastebin.com/nuWhcW1K (embed) (embed) (POI)

>In-game chat channel
EU Channel: "Official Veeky Forums channel", password is "vidya"
NA Channel: Search for 'Veeky Forums' channel by Antibully ranger
SEA Channel: Veeky Forums

NA: [NTR]: na.wargaming.net/clans/1000021519
NA: [KUMA]: na.wargaming.net/clans/1000007315/
EU: [NOFUN]: eu.wargaming.net/clans/500011239/

Previous thread:

What's with all the autistic memes in this place? I posted a game with Germany yesterday and I got swarmed by "HAHAHA GROßGERMANIUM XDDD" posts. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT A NEW PLAYER TO POST YOU FUCKING AUTISTS??

And before that I asked a simple question on how I crack the game and I again got swarmed by fucking autists with all their unfunny inside jokes. Fuck you and fuck those games, they are literally one of the most boring shit I've ever touched. Also fuck the guy in /twg/ who suggested I try out those autistic map painting simulators and "ask for guidance on the /gsg/ general and they will help you". Bunch of manchildren.

>that last thread

ello mates ;) good ev'nin,as they say on the streets of england!!!!! i was just waggling my willy the other day when i googled something into yahoo...callled "porno".....oh man me mates you gotta check this out!!! all these boobies and bums for all the eye can see!!!!!my willy has never been so overwhelmed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!imwagglingmywilllyyyaAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MY WILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathat hit the goodstuf.im a bit of an artful dodger you see you pick up these tips and tricks from the rookeries and streets of england so dont go around telling anybody about porno ok???ok:)me mates we have a deal ;) waggle it away maties!!

you are too naive if you think this thread won't be the same.

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0wned,p0wned an laid the fuckout by RADICAL YUGOSLAVIA. dam your a fag.. have double the dose of flippum birdums 0_o,,

>it's grossgermanium time
well at least it's familiar shitposting I guess

ello me mates;)))here is your mate williem back to teach you how to waggle your willy like a willy wanking bishop;;')) ohoy me mates;;))) now some of oyu guys are confused on how to waggle your willy eh???so u wanna be a willy wanking star,big deal.u gotta learn the willywanking game in 5 easy steps.cumon me mate lets leurn to wank our willies together with me mates gordon charlie and bill and even lilttle cousin nicky;))
STEP 1#
GRAB the willy!!you have to wait for it to turn into a sasuage stick, dont worry if it doest happen in 10 seconds like me!!!just grab an issue of your beano comic your mummy bought you at the newsagents, flip to a page with minnie the minxes bum and bbengin wanking your willy!!!
step #2
move your hand up and down your willy,ur getting there me mate;)))if possible do it with your mates in your tree house so your mummies cant see or hear you!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!;)));)))
STEP 3#
you will be feeling your willy about to explode!!!!!it's going to hurt a lil;;)do dont worry;)))because your willy is going to EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!just shout AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MYWILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and there will be goy wee wee verywhere thhat is very goeey;))if you finish before your mates then help them by waggling THEIR willies;)))

WILLY WAGGLERS ARISE!! *willy waggler rally call*!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for too long gsg has gone without a single waggle!!yes me mates it is seemest gsg has forgot how to WAGGLE their WILLIES!!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE MUST OCCUPY GSG WITH OUR SILLIEWILLIES AND TEACH THEM THE MAJESTIC ART OF THE WAGGLE ONCEDMORE!!!! are you ready boys? us wagglers have a proud history…we waggled for charles..we waggled for thatcher…..ahhh..the willy waggling haze of '87…ohh yes me mates…we waggled all the way from bristol to hai noi…me, old billy steve, me old mates gordon billy nicky and charlie..some guy named ian the clam…WE WAGGLED RECORD SPEED!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaAAAaaAAANOT MY WIILLYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BOYS!!! PREPARE FOR THE WAGGLIEST DAY OF YOUR LIVETIMES!!!

PREPARE YOUR WILLIES…
READY..
AIM…

WAAAAGLLEEE!!!!AaaaaaaaaaaAAaAANOOT MY WILLY SOMUCHWILLYPLEASURE;;))) i SIMPYL CANNNOT RELIIEEFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!1MYYYY WILLYHURTSSOMUCHYES ME MATES NNYAUAUUUGHHaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!


WILLLY

CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…………aaaaaaahhhhhh….i cum on your face….relief ;)

Reposting from
Don't fucking crossboard link from /a/ you shitstain. No one gives a fuck in /a/ and no one wants to deal with this autism here. No one cares about shit in the toliet, but when their's shit on the table its a problem. This thread is a cesspit and I hope you all fucking take the hint and let it die.
Don't fucking post in /a/ again with this contaminated shit.

ok me mates itssa time to lern to waggle your own willies.youve come very far in the willy academy of waggling and its time for yer finaltest…accounts for 70% of your final willywaggling grade!!!!!!JUST WAGGLE YOUR OWN WILLY AT YER COMPUTER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!! GET A COPY OF THE BEANO OR YAHOO SOME BIG BOOBIES!!!!!!!! I LOVE TO WAGGLE MY WILLY And so should you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MY WILLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MY WILLY IS GOING TO EXPLODEOHYESMEMATES ;) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>Even in the midst of all this intense shitposting anu remains as much a faggot as ever

>Call up your spammer boyfriend to shit up a thread you don't like
>Complain when it comes back to bite your ass

ok me mates itssa time to lern to waggle your own willies.youve come very far in the willy academy of waggling and its time for yer finaltest...accounts for 70% of your final willywaggling grade!!!!!!JUST WAGGLE YOUR OWN WILLY AT YER COMPUTER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!! GET A COPY OF THE BEANO OR YAHOO SOME BIG BOOBIES!!!!!!!! I LOVE TO WAGGLE MY WILLY And so should you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MY WILLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MY WILLY IS GOING TO EXPLODEOHYESMEMATES ;) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What are the chances of Kagafag being anu and he's shitting up the /a/ thread anyway.

ello mates ;) good ev'nin,as they say on the streets of england!!!!! i was just waggling my willy the other day when i googled something into yahoo...callled "porno".....oh man me mates you gotta check this out!!! all these boobies and bums for all the eye can see!!!!!my willy has never been so overwhelmed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!imwagglingmywilllyyyaAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MY WILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathat hit the goodstuf.im a bit of an artful dodger you see you pick up these tips and tricks from the rookeries and streets of england so dont go around telling anybody about porno ok???ok:)me mates we have a deal ;) waggle it away maties!!

...

Listen upp here old pal .... *sighs* twas an aeon ago it seems ... ehhh... the first wiggler rally in Luton... AHHH RELIEVE!!!! ... Me and my pals built our own old tree house *wally rises of memory* whatever we did we Always came back home from school to do a Little wally wiggling in the ol treehouse... Ahhh.... waggler they called me ... *nothing personell kiddo* but I just kept on waggling, day in and day out. I waggled for Charles, I waggled for Margaret Thatcher. I even at one Point waggled the willy to Ho Chi Minh.... Ahhhh... the memories of the hazy wiggle waggling summer of 1986.... I still remember the wiggle wally race we had in Surrey.... We would gather... Me, this bloke from Newcastle and some guy named Ian the clam... waggling our Willies in record speed..... AHHH RELIVE ..... CUM!!!!!!!!!!

YOU MAKE ME SO HOT, IM WAGGLING MY WILLY TO YOU;))!!!THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF ME AND MY WILLY!!;)))aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

!teach them the way of the willy...wank, waggle its all in the mind;))

whyy dont you waggle me willy or just yer own with me matesinmetreehouse eh???????*waggles ur willy*ooooooh thats a biggun mmhmmmm AAa A A A A AA A A A !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR WILLY IS OUTTA CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!¬¬!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is the beginning of the willy era me m8s

let us waggle it

AAAAAAAAAAA

jesus christ this is getting bad

It's him lmao

he'll deny it just to collect victim points, he is fucking insane man.

anyone else up for some wiggly waggling pure psy/mayaka style? i say we waggle it HARD tonight willy boys

how 2 clean beano comic book of willy juice stains? i was waggling my willy in my treehouse with me good mates willy gordon and cousin nicky all over the page of the beano with beas fat baby ass...mmhhmmm!! i would waggle my willy to that bum all day...when my willy erupted and ruined me good comic for good!!!! i dont want my mummy 2 see it..help?

ME AND MY MATES WAGGLE OURWILLIESTO PORNO!!! IT'S CALLED PORN!!!!! I SEARCHED THE WORD PORNO IN GOOGLE WHILE MY MUMMY WASN'T LOOKING;))!!!THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF ME AND MY WILLY!!;)))aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

you cant stop the willy wanking!!

you cant stop the willy wanking!!

you cant stop the willy wanking!!

I AM USELESS TRASH WITHOUT MY WILLY!!!! WITHOUT ME MY WILLY IS USELESS TRASH!! WAGGLE MY WILLY TO THE LIMIT! I AM USELESS TRASH WITHOUT MY WILLY!!!! WITHOUT ME MY WILLY IS USELESS TRASH!! WAGGLE MY WILLY TO THE LIMIT! I AM USELESS TRASH WITHOUT MY WILLY!!!! WITHOUT ME MY WILLY IS USELESS TRASH!! WAGGLE MY WILLY TO THE LIMIT! I AM USELESS TRASH WITHOUT MY WILLY!!!! WITHOUT ME MY WILLY IS USELESS TRASH!! WAGGLE MY WILLY TO THE LIMIT!

CUMMING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHhhhhhhMYYYYYWILLlyyyy!!!!!!!!!!;)

Chances? That's a fact.

ohyhhhhmy willyfeelssogood;))))endlessWILLYPLEASURE.
u wanna some willy wanking tips I give you some my willywanking grasshopper
>step 1: grab your willy
>step 2: waggle it up and down!!!!!!
>step 3: even tho it hurts waggle it to FULLJOY!!!!mmHHHHmmmmmwaggleurwilly;))
>step 4: CUM WILLY JUICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!myWIIIIIIIIIILLLLYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I just can't believe someone would act retarded on purpose, but I wouldn't put it pass him.

ooooooooohhhh man me mates!! allo me chapss!!! i think me mates i have just made a major breakthrough in the field of the majestic art of the waggle..!!!lissen closely maties,its not often u hear wagglin tips down the line like what im abouta drop now!!

so u know howdo waggle ur willy.and you now it causes willy pleasure. but did u know what if you stick your finger up your bum and wiggle it around u get bumbum pleasure instead?? combine it with the willy waggle for dubble trubble 0_o whOaAOAOAOaoAOoooo!!!!!!!!!!nows thats what i callsome relief eh esse..mmmhmmm.......stick me finger up my bum......pull it out....hehehehehit smells lilke poopie...eh ey kid,...smell me thinga eheheh smell me smellie fingers kid heheheheheh!!!!!!!!!.....

if u want advanced bumpleasure shove TWO or maybe THREE fingers up ur bum!!!! keep wagglin until ur entire body starts convulsin w/ PLEASURE!!!!!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MYBUMANDMYWILLY THEYFEELLIKE ITS AN EARTHQUAKE IN ME BUM A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dress up in me sisters school unform.finga me bum and take pictures and post it on the internet!!!!!!!! i always ask me mummy and daddies permission to use the net first 0_o just because mummie and daddie dont wanna see u waggle doesnt mean u can be a freeloader breakin the house rules -_-

well until then.pippip cheerio me wankas!!!im off to finga me mates bums and put the picturegrabs on a website called "domblr.com"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!until then waggle it away maties!!!!!!

ello me mates;)))here is your mate williem back to teach you how to waggle your willy like a willy wanking bishop;;'))

ohoy me mates;;))) now some of oyu guys are confused on how to waggle your willy eh???so u wanna be a willy wanking star,big deal.u gotta learn the willywanking game in 5 easy steps.cumon me mate lets leurn to wank our willies together with me mates gordon charlie and bill and even lilttle cousin nicky;))

STEP 1#

GRAB the willy!!you have to wait for it to turn into a sasuage stick, dont worry if it doest happen in 10 seconds like me!!!just grab an issue of your beano comic your mummy bought you at the newsagents, flip to a page with minnie the minxes bum and bbengin wanking your willy!!!

step #2

move your hand up and down your willy,ur getting there me mate;)))if possible do it with your mates in your tree house so your mummies cant see or hear you!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!;)));)))

STEP 3#

you will be feeling your willy about to explode!!!!!it's going to hurt a lil;;)do dont worry;)))because your willy is going to EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!just shout AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1MYWILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and there will be white wee wee verywhere thhat is very goeey;))if you finish before your mates then help them by waggling THEIR willies;)))

and now you are a master ant waggling your willing with your mates;))))) just remember to ask me if you ever need to waggle your willy again;;;;)))now pip ipip cheerio im off to waggle my willy!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

The fuck is going on here.

orright me mates!!! just an update from your ole pal kaiser willie on the latest willywagglin tips n tricks of the trade!!!
so i was reading the beano me mates and i read about a competition to meet dennis the menace in beanoland!!!oh man me mates i was poofed!!! i walked into me mummy and daddys room to ask permission to use the internet when i was setupon by a hideous sight!!!my mummy...was swallowing my daddys willy!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at first i was horrified!!!cant mummies and aunties let us boys have our willies?cannot a man waggle in peaceth?i was considering the pre-emptive genocide of all women when i discovered my mummy was just giving my daddy a "blow job"!!!!!!!oh man me matesnow this is a new development in waggling your willy!!!just use one of your mates mouths until you reach fulljoy and shoot willy juice!!!cumon me mates, lets blow eachothers willies in me treehouse.!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS PLEASURE 2.0!!!!!!!!!!!!iM FEELIN THE WILLYFEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMY WILLYHASNEVERBEENSOPLEASURED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!.....icum in your mouth matey...ahhh..relief!!!!

thanks for stickin around this update me mates, cheerio pippip!!Im off for round 2. w/ me cousins!!!

we've moved past walls of munerunes and machine translations.

This isn't even his final form

Reminder to report, ignore and carry on.

We're being raided by a bunch of autists trying to get the threads deleted.

oh good on you me m8 good one good one gday gady


but ill be wagging my willy out to u
ill be waggin

a lotta me M8S not be into tthe janny turdie but ell ome m8 u see i do be

im A BIG FAN

imm a waggle my willy all day

IM GOING TO WAG MY WILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

MY WILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my WILLY IS GOING TO EXPLODE


aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


IM GOING TO EXPLODE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

sweet release me mates...

*leg sweeps u*

U Wot M8? !!

*does epic steampunk parkour backflip onto your stomach and fucking crushes your kidney*

REKT!!!!!

us britpostere eh -_-
oi mate,do you mind? me ole wanka? me ole bishop? ya wanka mate? all these britwords we learn on the rookies of the streets of england -_-

anotherthing.US BRITS.ARE teapot steampunk parkour gentlemennies CYNICS.WE DO NOT BELIEVE IN A MAGICAL SKYDADDY!!!

anotherthing. we.say. zeh-brah. not zee-brah. ZED>ZEE.gedditrite yankees 0_o

A Venetian Catholic Holy Roman elector and violent usurper was teaching a class on Pope Innocent III, known backstabber jew.
Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the Pope and accept that he was the true head of the only one church of Jesus Christ that the world has ever known, even greater than Constantine the Great!

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-Orthodox Byzantine Patriarch who had peacefully converted 1500 Muslims on Aleppo and understood the necessity of strong diplomatic relations and fully supported all political decision made by the Patriarch stood up and held up a fresh Kaine Diatheke.

Who made this Testament, pinhead?”

The treacherous Venetian smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied“The Italian scribes, you stupid heretic.

Wrong. It’s been 1,000 years since Saint Paul wrote it in Greek in the holy city of Constantinople. If the Bible was, as you say, written by the Jews then why haven't you taken Jerusalem from the Muslims yet and made it your capital?

BOYS!!! PREPARE FOR THE WAGGLIEST DAY OF YOUR LIVETIMES!!!

PREPARE YOUR WILLIES...
READY..
AIM...

WAAAAGLLEEE!!!!AaaaaaaaaaaAAaAANOOT MY WILLY SOMUCHWILLYPLEASURE;;))) i SIMPYL CANNNOT RELIIEEFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!1MYYYY WILLYHURTSSOMUCHYES ME MATES NNYAUAUUUGHHaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!


WILLLY

CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............aaaaaaahhhhhh....i cum on your face....relief ;)

Mods slow as shit this time around.

steamgroup raid

Zao HE nerf when?

The Venetian backstabber was visibly shaken, and dropped his Rosary and copy of the Roman Missal. He stormed out of the room crying those Italian crocodile tears. The same tears Italians cry for the “disgraced Crusaders (who today live in such luxury that most bath daily) when they jealously try to claw justly earned land from the deserving Byzantines.There is no doubt that at this point our Elector, Urban III, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and refused the concillia after the seventh. He wished so much that he had the Imperial Sword to kill himself from embarrassment, but he himself had pawned it off to the Germans!

The students applauded and all followed Orthodoxy that day and accepted the Patriarch of Constantinople as Christ's Representative on Earth. A double-headed eagle named Palaiologos flew into the room and perched atop the Byzantine Shield and shed a tear on the chalk. The Byzantine Rite was sung several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a church tithe across the country to remove those ugly pillars from the Haggia Sophia.

The Emperor lost Jerusalem and died when he was told the news of yet another failed Crusade. He died of the Black Death and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

You've woken a sleeping autistic shitposter beyond the ability of any seen before. Above UTV levels and he cannot be stopped. Enjoy your shitshow. I don't wanna see cross board links on /a/ again after I fuck off yet again. Enjoy your shitstorm.

WILLY WAGGLERS ARISE!! *willy waggler rally call*!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for too long gsg has gone without a single waggle!!yes me mates it is seemest gsg has forgot how to WAGGLE their WILLIES!!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE MUST OCCUPY GSG WITH OUR SILLIEWILLIES AND TEACH THEM THE MAJESTIC ART OF THE WAGGLE ONCEDMORE!!!! are you ready boys? us wagglers have a proud history...we waggled for charles..we waggled for thatcher.....ahhh..the willy waggling haze of '87...ohh yes me mates...we waggled all the way from bristol to hai noi...me, old billy steve, me old mates gordon billy nicky and charlie..some guy named ian the clam...WE WAGGLED RECORD SPEED!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaAAAaaAAANOT MY WIILLYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

For what purpose?

A treacherous, greedy catholic Patrician and Holy Roman Elector was teaching a class on Pope Innocent III, a known heretic.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the Pope and accept that Catholicism is the one and only faith founded by Jesus Christ, even greater than Nestorianism!”

At this moment, a brave, Greek, Varangian soldier who had killed over 1500 Turks and understood the legitimacy of the Eastern Roman Empire and fully supported all its economic, social and military reforms stood up and held up a map of the Holy Land

"Who should own this land, Brutus?"

The arrogant Venetian smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “The crusaders, you stupid heretic”

”Wrong. Its been over 2000 years since Alexander the Great conquered it. If it was not owned by Arabs, and Catholics, as you say, should own the land... then the crusaders should have conquered Jerusalem by now."

The Patrician was visibly shaken, and dropped his ducats and copy of the Roman Misal. He stormed out of the room crying those ironic catholic tears. The same tears catholics cry for “the Crusaders” (who today live in such luxury that most bathe daily). There is no doubt that at this point our Patrician, Enrico Dandolo, wished he had been Orthodox and supported the Komnenoi struggle against the Turks. He wished so much that he had the Imperial Sword to kill himself from embarrassment, but he himself had pawned it off to the Capetians!

The students applauded and all applied for Roman citizenship that day and accepted Manuel Komnenos as their Basileus. A double-headed eagle named “Byzantium” flew into the room and perched atop the Hagia Sophia and shed a tear on the chalk board. Epitaph of Seikilos was sung several times, and Constantine the Great himself showed up and converted all Catholics to Orthodoxy.

Can you just fuck off and die already

>ma'ma! peopel are bullying me, tell rapespammer to defend me on the internet!

I guess it makes sense why a literal autist from Reddit would try so hard to fit in on /a/

Not really, it's a single IP doing it all. To confirm that was the purpose of this thread.

Never ))))

Autism.

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

At this moment, a brave, patriotic Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

"How old is this rock, pinhead?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"

"Wrong. It's been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real... then it should be an animal now"

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the "poor" (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.
p.s. close the borders

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh dude -________- sprudlo spader is for fuckin kids dude -___- like what is benis is this some freakin kindergarten or what BOOM memed on -_____0. Willies are hella epic whathe fuck is waglle ur bemis even supposeda be. -__-. Go back to flippin finnerland with your kiddy bear me me kid......

A treacherous, greedy yankee republican carpetbagger and factory owner was teaching a class on John Brown, a known criminal.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the President and accept that federalism is the one and only form of government established by the founding fathers, even greater than direct democracy!”

At this moment, a brave, Southern, Anglo-Saxon Protestant soldier who had captured over 1500 escaped slaves and understood the necessity of the southern aristocracy and system of land ownership and fully supported states' rights and the formation of the Confederate States of America stood up and held up a piece of cotton.

"How was this created?"

The arrogant Northerner smirked quite Britishly and smugly replied "It was made in a factory, you stupid hick."

"Wrong. It was picked by agrarian slave labor in southern plantations. If it was created in a factory as you say, then why do you rely on the Southern economy so much?"

The carpetbagger was visibly shaken, and dropped his cotton gin and copy of the Thirteenth Amendment. He stormed out of the room crying those crocodile republican tears.

The students applauded and all agreed to secede from the United States that day and accepted Jefferson Davis as their president. An eagle named "Dixie" flew into the room and perched atop the Bonnie Blue Flag and shed a tear on the chalk board. To Arms In Dixie was sung several times, and Preston Brooks himself showed up and legalized slavery in every state.

>You've woken a sleeping autistic shitposter beyond the ability of any seen before.
I've been in /lolg/, /gsg/ and /wowg/ for years. Your faggot friend is pansy shit compared to what I've seen before.

ok me mates itssa time to lern to waggle your own willies.youve come very far in the willy academy of waggling and its time for yer finaltest...accounts for 70% of your final willywaggling grade!!!!!!JUST WAGGLE YOUR OWN WILLY AT YER COMPUTER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!! GET A COPY OF THE BEANO OR YAHOO SOME BIG BOOBIES!!!!!!!! I LOVE TO WAGGLE MY WILLY And so should you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MY WILLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MY WILLY IS GOING TO EXPLODEOHYESMEMATES ;) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A reactionary Christian heterosexual Bruges group eurosceptic politician and business owner was teaching a class on Enoch Powell, known fascist
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Enoch and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Ed Miliband!"

At this moment, a brave, multicultural, pro-choice Unite against Fascism champion who had attended 1500 anti-UKIP rallies and understood the necessity of federal Europe and fully supported all immigration decisions made by the Labour Party stood up and held up a constitution.

"How old is this constitution?"

The arrogant politician smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "799 years, you stupid Communist"

"Wrong. It’s been 5 years since Barroso created it. If it was 799 years old and British sovereignty, as you say, is real… then it should be British law by now"

The politician was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Flying Free. He stormed out of the room crying those reactionary crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Labour that day and accepted Keir Hardie as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Welfare dependency" flew into the room and perched atop the European Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The Quran was read several times, and Allah himself showed up and enacted a 50p tax rate across the country.

The politician lost his seat and was expelled from the party the next day. He died of the Nazi plague Typhus and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Hope not Hate.

ello mates ;) good ev'nin,as they say on the streets of england!!!!! i was just waggling my willy the other day when i googled something into yahoo...callled "porno".....oh man me mates you gotta check this out!!! all these boobies and bums for all the eye can see!!!!!my willy has never been so overwhelmed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!imwagglingmywilllyyyaAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MY WILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathat hit the goodstuf.im a bit of an artful dodger you see you pick up these tips and tricks from the rookeries and streets of england so dont go around telling anybody about porno ok???ok:)me mates we have a deal ;) waggle it away maties!!

I sure love sitting around for hours not doing my job all day.

t. Mod

A fascist neo-Nazi Black Rifle owning NRA instructor was teaching a tactical course on the importance of shooting women and children.

“Before the course begins, you must get on your knees and worship Eugene Stoner and accept that he is the greatest weapons developer of all time, even greater than John M. Browning!”

At this moment, a brave, lever-gun wielding, hunter’s rights activist who had been on 1500 durr hunts in the Ozarks and understood the unchallenged superiority of the .30-30 Winchester cartridge stood up and held Glock magazine.

“How many rounds does this hold?”

The fascist instructor smirked quite like James Eagan Holmes and smugly replied “17, you stupid Fudd!”

“But if most gun fights, as you say, follow the rule of threes… then isn’t a magazine of that capacity only good for the mass murder of the innocent?”

The instructor was visibly shaken, and dropped his The Nutnfancy Project owl stickers. He stormed off the range crying those sham NRA tears. The same tears AR owning maniacs cry for the “law abiding gun owners” (who today exploit gun laws so loose that most can own bullet buttons) when they viciously try to shoot minorities and gays under the guise of self-defense. There is no doubt that our instructor wished he had supported reasonable gun restrictions instead of becoming a brainwashed NRA shill. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he had forsaken the stopping power of the .45 for the weak, unreliable 9mm that can’t even kill him!

Why waste time when he's coming back anyway?

Richard Machowicz stood in his room, hungrily eyeing his bedside table.
He removed his tactical pants, revealing an olive drab thong. On his ass, he had a tattoo with the Chinese symbol for 'awesome' on it. He reached for the bedside table, which had inside it his favorite toy: the deagle brand deagle.
He loaded it with a new clip of .50 BMG boolets with heat-seeking armor-piercing casings. He looked at the hunk of Israeli steel in his hand as he racked the slide. The sumtuous lines. The sexy shape. He could resist it no longer.

The warming lubricant he kept next to it beckoned. He covered the oversized pistol in it, and inserted it far into his dirt star. His moan was like that of a mighty lion, if it crapped elephant rounds and pissed Trappist Beer. The slide reached his prostate, which caused baby blood to ooze from his penis. Mack enjoyed this, and his nipples turned into .50 BMG rounds themselves. His penis turned into an M82, which began shooting wads of cum as large as a .50 BMG boolit. He started shouting "STOPPING POWAH!" and the cum boolets destroyed his lamp by his bed. He shouted at the top of his OPERATOR lungs, "ONE HIT AND ITS ALL OVER" as he continually shot holes in his wall with cum rounds.

Upstairs, Nutnfancy was boning a sheepdog in its ass with his entire fist. He enjoyed removing it and smelling the sheepdog feces on the end of his fist. He kept the feces in duracoated bags, and would often make long, rambling, erotic videos of him shoving his mitts into the often bloody colons of sheepdogs.
When he heard Mack's penis M82 fire, he instantly knew he could receive sweet tender love from his Desert Eagle. He quickly threw on his TNP shirt (leaving his lower half completely stark naked), grabbed his ultra-lightweight glock, and ran downstairs as quick as he could.

The students applauded and all subscribed to Guns & Ammo that day and accepted JMB as the greatest arms designer that ever lived. An Eagle named “lever action” flew onto the range and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear onto a CA legal 10 round magazine. The Brady Bill was read several times, and William B. Ruger, Sr. himself showed up and enacted an assault weapons ban across the country.

The instructor lost his certification and was fired the next day. He died from shooting himself in the foot with a Glock Forty and was tossed into the smelter with his evil black assault weapons.

Nunfancy broke down Mack's door, and rushed into his room. He said, 'good evening, sheepdog' and instantly threw off his shirt and reached for his Glock. Mack farted out enough lube for Nutn to coat his glock with, but he said,'No thanks, I brought my own." Digging into his man breasts, Nutn pulled out a small container of coyote brown duracoat. He jumped onto Mack's bed (which was made out of M40 sniper rifles) and began inserting his duracoated glock into his ass.

Both of them shouted various obcenities at each other, regarding the choice of implements for badass military masturbation. Nutn shouted "GLOCK IS BEST, LIGHTWEIGHT GOOD ACCURACY HURR", to which Richard angrily (and hornily) replied "IT DOESN'T HAVE ALL THE STOPPING POWER I NEED!" Nutn came almost instantly when he farted enough to push the gas vents on his glock past and rack its slide. With that, he reached into his ass and removed the shameful firearm, aimed it at Mack's chest, and fired. A small torrent of lube, feces, and sheepdog mess flew out of the barrel. The glock instantly exploded, sending shards of polymer into Nutn's face, chest, and arms. He writhed and screamed in agony as his precious pistol/dildo blew up in his hands. Mack, however, was not unwounded. The 9mm bullet hit him in the chest. He began bleeding tiny barrets from the bullet hole profusely, but his expression remained unchanged. "Lol its k', he said, without a hint of irony in his voice, 'only 9mm'.

A weeaboo underage narutard professor and CGI enthusiast was teaching a class on Madokami, known shit-tier waifu.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and write three words 'HARUHI S3 NEVER'."

At this moment, a brave, refined, animation expert who had purchased over 1500 figures of his waifu and understood the necessity of Endless Eight and fully supported all decisions made by Kyoto Animation stood up and held up a rock.

"How old is this rock, pinhead?"

The arrogant weeb smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years old, you stupid Haruhifag."

"Wrong. It’s been 3 years since Haruhi created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and Shaft is, as you say, a good animation studio… then it should be tilting it's head right now."

The weeb professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and Madoka nendoroid.
He stormed out of the room crying those weeaboo crocodile tears. The same tears weeaboos cry for their "feels" (which are actually just the result of shitty forced drama and character deaths) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving anime studios.
There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Ararararagi
Urobichi, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a weeaboo professor with bad taste in chinese cartoons. He wished so much that he could watch a cheerful slice-of-life anime to calm his nerves, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all converted to Haruhiism that day and accepted Haruhi as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Season 3" flew into the room and perched atop the Haruhi blu-ray and shed a tear on the chalk. Hare Hare Yukai was danced several times, and Haruhi herself showed up and enacted an endless summer across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the weeaboo NEET plague, malnutrition, and was tossed into
the lake of fire for all eternity.

Suddenly, a breaching charge blasts threw Mack's apartment wall. RTT-CQB man fastroped horizontally through the gaping hole, and kicked Nutnfancy's already disfigured face with his tactical muhreen-core boot. Like Nutn before him, RTT-CQB man was not clad in pants. He had a massive M4-shaped boner (although it was miniscule in comparison to Mack's manly meat M82 monument), and he shoved it into Mack's gaping wound. RTT-CQB man blew his load in seconds, and it caused his penis to jam! He pulled back on the charging handle of his assault rifle phallus, and loaded a new clip of jizz boolits into the lower reciever (which was where his nuts should have been). He then splooged and dumped all over Nutnfancy, who had been crying and howling in agony the entire time and had rolled onto the floor.

All this time, Travis Haley had been dynamically fisting himself with a tactical shotgun outside Mack's window. Inside the bushes, he would frequently spread his anus so wide, he could fit an entire target of a knife-wielding woman into it. As soon as RTT-CQB man shit all over Nutn's bloody wounds, Travis, like the rest of the combat-ready men, came fifty rounds from his extended-clip nuts.

1- Slug is so much light than snail who have shell to copy slug technology.
2- The snail use the shell because is a fucking faget.
3- snail got crush so easy, and you can give the slug to ur dog chew and it ll still eat lettuce.
4- shell is MORE heavy than no shell.
5- some slug have internal shell because more evolved
6- Your cousin will not want to stay on your house to play slug.
over 9000- If you trow the slug on the wall, the wall will go up.
8- Trow both on water and watch which will come up first.
9- slug at mate will make a slimecord. The snail will show dribble.
10- All slug are hermaphrodite. Snail is too but because faget
11 -- slug is the name of a bullet. Snail means it is slow.
12 -- Slug will eat carrion, slug dont give a fuck

Nutnfancy, missing an entire hand, bleeding profusely from the forearms, face, chest, and groin region from the shrapnel his precious glock had become, and covered in RTT-CQB man's feces and muhreen-core dick butter, crawled through the breached wall. He immediatley ran into Frankie Paintballa Bennett, who pointed at his grotesquely distorted hand, and asked, "is that a FAMAS?". Nutn sobbed in agony as Frankie licked Nutn's bloodied nude body. Before long, Frankie's face was covered in blood, feces, and semen. He shouted, 'GIVE ME A CLIP SO I CAN DO SOME DAMAGE' as he thrusted his backwards cap into Nutn's gaping hand wound. Nutn howled in agony, and Frankie, obviously aroused, came so hard his semen seeped up past his waistline and all over his shirt and hands.

Mack, who had experienced five orgasms since first inserting the deagle into his rear end, punched RTT-CQB man so hard, he flew one billion light years to a planet made up of Army Rangers, who enslaved the muhreen and would frequently use his mouth as a latreen. Not done, Mack ran outside, and kicked Travis, Frankie, and Nutnfancy so hard in the nuts their heads exploded with jizz. He dragged the bodies inside and cooked the corpses with a duracoat sauce and ate them hungrily for dinner. It was the best meal he ever ate.

This is a story all about how
My jihad got flipped turned upside down
Now if you'd like to take a moment just sit right there
I'll tell you all about the time we got fucked by fast air

West Sandboxia, born and raised
Wasting civvies is how I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, praying, preaching jihad all cool
Beheading women for going to school

When a couple of guys decided that was no good,
Started dropping JDAMs on my neighborhood
I took hard casualties, ISIS got scared,
Said the Saudi funding is getting quite scarce

I cried for transpo and when it came near
Hellfire hit and turned my buddies to smears
If anything I could say that hope became rare
The hard dick of freedom left me nothing but scared

I cried bitter tears over my Caliphate
Yelled to al Jazeera, its because you lack prayer
I sat in my crater, I was finally there
When I step up again, I'll get fucked by fast air

>tfw literally cannot report anymore

Do you yield?

The story is split into two books: "Dissolution" and "War." This is the first chapter of Dissolution, where our erstwhile protagonist, a Marine Corps officer with a fetish for the German language gets himself fired by, well, you'll see.

>A mess night, when it’s done right, is a black tie brawl. It’s a Brit thing, very formal-like and proper when it starts, with a table full of wine glasses and funny forks and Mr. Vice proposing toasts and rules like you’ve got to stand up and ask permission to go pee (usually denied). After enough toasts things loosen up a bit, with the aviators doing “carrier landings” by belly flopping on the tables and sliding through the crystal and the infantry getting into fights. At least, that’s how the good ones go.

I wish the black tie affairs where people got very drunk were as interesting.

>One of the Corps’ better traditions was that we remembered our dead. The mess set a table apart, with the glasses and silver inverted, for those who had gone before us and never come back. And before the fun began we remembered the battles where they had fought and fallen; Tripoli to Chapultepec to Helmand. A bell rang for each, a Marine officer stood up and called that battle’s name, and we became pretty thoughtful... Iwo Jima went to a woman.

The horror.

>We lost a lot of guys on Iwo, and they were men, not women. Of course, these were the years of “political correctness.” Our colonel was running for general, and he figured he could kiss ass by being “sensitive to issues of race, gender, and class.”
It’s hard to remember that we even had women in a military, it seems so strange now. How could we have been so contemptuous of human experience? Did we think it merely a coincidence that all armies, everywhere, that had actually fought anyone had been made up solely of men?

I actually concur about women in combat roles, but Mr. Lind tips his fedora pretty hard here.

His eyes were on TV,

It's one square grin, decrepit, greasy
leering lazily at a loafing leech
last of his line, lucid but languid

He;
flaccid would-be fixer fixing his gaze at a box
wherein:

A-rabs jab smoking scabs, expressionless, drab
clinging to credibly cretinous crags
hoarse buskers braying delayed hopes
at commuters committing no coin at all

Resignation
Rejection
All regulating their rebellion with;

Small minds
Small hearts
Small arms fire

ISIS is issuing, unwelcome
up unopened eulogies and ends
bending branches of buds in on themselves

The remote is dug up and deployed
darkening the streaked, slimy screen
Resignation; here now, it seems

An overwhelming obstacle of oafish habits
hobbling hardened hands to the here and now
numbing the brain in bondage to obey

Resignation:

whatever plan he never planned for today

Fighting the good fight fellow user.

>I remembered, then and always, an essay written by a German general, Hans von Seekt, the man who rebuilt the German Army after World War I. The title, and the message was Das Wesentliche ist die Tat—The Essential Thing is the Deed.

Gratuitous German Quotes: 1

>The next morning, I was toast. The colonel’s clerk was waiting for me when I walked into the building. “The CO wants to see you at once,” he said. I wasn’t surprised. I knew what was coming and I was willing to take it. That’s something else the Germans taught me: Verantwortungsfreudigkeit, the “joy in taking responsibility” that is central to what character means in an officer.

Gratuitous German Quotes: 2

Basically, our protagonist is given the choice to apologize or resign. He tips his fedora harder as you will see.

>The colonel generally specialized in being nice. But I’d endangered his sacred quest for a promotion, and in the old American military that was the greatest sin a subordinate could commit.

One of the things that Lind whines about is entrenched corruption and bureaucracy in the military. However, he doesn't offer any particular solution to a problem that the War College already acknowledges.

>“Neither one, sir.” An early lesson I’d learned about war was that if the enemy gave you two options, refuse them both and do something else. “I have nothing to apologize for,” I continued. “No woman has the right to represent any of the Corps’ battles, because those battles were fought and won by men. And people resign when they’ve done something wrong. I haven’t.”

What follows is a boring exchange about how he needs to apologize because it will mean bad things for the Commandant if this gets to some feminist congresswoman: Sally Bluhose

You all are thinking of ants as sentient beings. They're basically not. Their entire existence is simple action-reaction to various chemical signals. They did an experiment where they isolated the chemical that a dead ant exudes and applied it to a living ant. The result was the rest of the colony relentlessly picking up and carrying the living ant to the graveyard. The living ant would try to leave, and they would simply carry him back. Same with food. They walk in a trail because they're following a line of chemicals laid down by the other ants.
A lone ant would probably not do anything. It would wander around looking for a chemical trail to follow, not find one, and eventually die.

>“This has nothing to do with truth,” yelled Col. Ryan, who was starting to lose it. “What the hell is truth, anyway? This is about politics and our image and our budget. Congresswoman Bluhose is a leading advocate for women’s rights. She’ll be enraged, and I’ll take it in the shorts from Headquarters, Marine Corps. Don’t you get it?”

The Colonel is a bad man because he doesn't believe in Truth, geddit.

>(As if this guy would have farted without clearing it first.)

This is actually kinda funny, enough to make you snort but then you feel embarrassed for laughing at it

At this point, our protagonist decides to quit. On his way out, he is told that he's a "casualty in the culture war." And he also received directions to a Dartmouth professor, Gottfried Sanft, who was a real inspiration to the guy and knows a lot about this culture war.

Guess what subject he teaches? If you guessed "German," you would be right.

We finish out Chapter 1 when summer comes and our protagonist decides go visit this culture war guru of a retired German professor

I caught a young relative once and had sex with her but I doubt anyone wants to hear what happened... Okay, since you insist, I will tell my story... It began one evening about a year ago... I jerked off into my hand... and then grabbed a microscope and some tweezers... those motherfuckers are not getting away this time! With one swift movement, I grabbed a sperm by its tail and exclaimed 'Oh yeah baby, come to Daddy!'. My cock firmly gripped in one hand, I lowered the sperm onto the head and began fucking it gently... 'Ohh, you like that, little embryo, don't you?! Yeah, you dirty little whore.'

Chapter 2 is pretty boring compared to the previous chapter. We meet Herr Sanft, who basically tells our marine to read some books.

Highlights

>When President Eisenhower of the old USA visited Dartmouth in the 1950s, he said it looked exactly the way a college ought to. By the late ’90s it still did, despite the fact that they’d built an ultra-modern student center on the traditional green —part of the “foul your own nest” maxim that ruled most campuses from the 1960s on.

I'll give credit where credit is due; the obligatory Brutalist building on every campus is quite ugly. For once, Lind has his head screwed on straight

I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you.

The place the protagonist visits is basically some house that some right-wing alumni use to teach what amounts to a "Great Books" course about the West.

>I knew the prof and I would get along when I saw the Zeppelin poster on his office door and smelled the pipe smoke curling out the same. The office was a vast clutter of books and papers, pipes and walking sticks, straw hats and the occasional bottle of something refreshing; no old Sandinista posters on the walls here. Professor Sanft, dressed in a white linen suit for summer and the Raj, with a pink shirt and polka-dot bow-tie, bid me welcome. Jim Sampsonoff had written, saying I’d be by. I wasn’t quite sure why I was there, but the professor seemed to know.

The professor and his Indian assistant. We aren't total Stormfag yet.

>“Well, not really,” I guessed. But I wasn’t sure this was leading me where I wanted to go, either. “Jim said I should see you because you would help me understand why I got fired for doing what I thought was right. Would a real education help me understand that?” I asked.

>“Yes, and perhaps a few more things besides,” answered Professor Sanft. “There was a fellow named Socrates, some years back, who had a similar experience. Ever hear of him?”

I guess we're supposed to chuckle or something that our protagonist doesn't know who Socrates is.

>We are what the Germans call mere Luftmenschen – in a free translation, airheads.

Gratuitous German Quotes: 3

The Shoe Bomber was a muslim
The Beltway Snipers were muslims
The Fort Hood Shooter was a muslim
The underwear Bomber was a muslim
The U-S.S. Cole Bombers were muslims
The Madrid Train Bombers were muslims
The Bali Nightclub Bombers were muslims
The London Subway Bombers were muslims
The Moscow Theatre Attackers were muslims
The Boston Marathon Bombers were muslims
The Pan-Am flight #93 Bombers were muslims
The Air France Entebbe Hijackers were muslims
The Iranian Embassy Takeover, was by muslims
The Beirut U.S. Embassy bombers were muslims
The Libyan U.S. Embassy Attack was by muslims
The Buenos Aires Suicide Bombers were muslims
The Israeli Olympic Team Attackers were muslims
The Kenyan U.S, Embassy Bombers were muslims
The Saudi, Khobar Towers Bombers were muslims
The Beirut Marine Barracks bombers were muslims
The Beslan Russian School Attackers were muslims
The first World Trade Center Bombers were muslims
The Bombay & Mumbai India Attackers were muslims
The Achille Lauro Cruise Ship Hijackers were muslims
The September 11th 2001 Airline Hijackers were muslims
The Kenyan Mall Massacre was done by muslims
The kidnapping of an entire girls school andselling them into slavery in Nigeria was the work of muslims

>“Sadly, this great culture of ours, Western culture, is under attack,” the professor replied. “The universities today are active and conscious agents in its destruction. Indeed, they have generated theories as to why Western culture should be destroyed. Of course, they aren’t alone. The most powerful single force in America now is the entertainment industry, and it is also an agent of cultural destruction. Many of the politicians play the game too. The usual code-words are ‘racism, sexism, and homophobia.’ When you hear them, you’re hearing the worms gnawing at the foundation.”

Enter /pol/. At this point, the protagonist gets his summer reading.

>Thanks to Professor Sanft, this was one infantryman who wasn’t lost.

And the chapter ends.

Chapter 3 - in which our protagonist completes his summer reading. Also, Lind went to Dartmouth. Is it any surprise that a hack would insert himself into his political and military tract in this way?

We start off with some family history and a name. The Rumfords of Maine.

>The men of our family, and sometimes the women too, would head out on their great adventure—crewing on a clipper bound for China, settling Oregon, converting the heathen (Uncle Bert got eaten in the Congo), going to war—but those who survived usually came back home again to Hartland and its surrounding farms.

>Whether they returned as successes or failures made little difference

Sounds like William Lind's career

>The whole country was overrun with deer, more than when white men first came to North America, because there were so many restrictions on guns and hunting. In some places they had become pests; we literally could not defend ourselves from our own food.

As someone who lives in the South, I'm curious to what extent Lind is exaggerating about the hunting situation in the Northeast.

>What a story! Ten thousand Greeks, cut off and surrounded in the middle of their ancient enemy, the Persian Empire, have to hack and march their way back out again—and they made it home. It was as exciting as anything Rommel or “Panzer” Meyer or any other modern commander wrote.

Please stop sullying the classics with your incessant wehraboo-ing.

>Do you want a thoroughly modern send-up of Feminism in all its silliness? Then read Aristophanes‘ Lysistrata—it’s only 2500 years old. For a chaser, recall the line of 17th century English poet and priest John Donne: “Hope not for mind in woman; at their best, they are but mummy possessed.” Pick any subject you want, except science, and these folks were there before us, thousands of years before us in some cases, with the same observations, thoughts and comments we offer today. We are their children.

*tips fedora*

Explains voting to non americans

It's easy to be confused, Koala.
The nations of Her Majesty's Commonwealth don't vote for their queen.
But in America, they do.

See, our Majesty always comes from the most noble house of Windsor.
The American queen, or "President", comes from either the House of Republicans, or the House of Democrats.
There are other houses, yes, but they have the same chance of becoming queen as one of your digiderdindoos.

Now, in the big vote for queen, the Houses don't want to split up the votes of their own voters.
So before they do the big vote, each house does smaller votes in every state to figure out which member to put on the ballot.
That way, the ballot will only have one member from each house, and no votes will be split.

What happened today is that both houses held a vote for the ballot in Iowa.
This does not mean that the vote for the ballot is over. The vote will continue in all the other American provinces in the next few months.

Today, Count Cruz of Calgary secured eight points for being the Republican candidate-queen. The tycoon Trump found seven. There are still more than a thousand points to be found across America.

These results mean that we may have a more difficult time bringing America back into the Commonwealth.

God save the Queen.

Also, enjoy the face of such rugged individualism

>We could do anything, have anything, say anything, with one exception: verweile doch, du bist so schön. We could not tarry, we could not rest, we could not get it right and then keep it that way.

Gratuitous German Quotes: 4

>We were too busy passing around “information” with our computers to study any history. So it was all new to us, and we had to make the same mistakes over again. The price was high.

Which is why it's morally justified to burn people at the stake

>As Pat Buchanan said, they were true, they were ours, and they were good. They had given us, when we still paid attention to them, the freest and most prosperous societies man has ever known.

Oh hey, he's a Buchananite. Not the protagonist, but Lind. Because his protagonist was probably too young to have a firm recollection of Buchanan.

>We Victorians, those of my generation anyway, know that fighting for the truth is not a metaphor. We killed for it and we died for it. By the 21st century, that was the only way to save it, weapon in hand. That, too, is nothing new, just another lesson we had forgotten and had to learn all over again.

I'll just let this stand for itself. End chapter 3.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you worthless heretic? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Space Marines, and I've led an incomprehensible number of secret raids against the forces of chaos, and I have over 30 million confirmed purgings. I am trained in armored warfare and I'm the top Ultramarine in all the Space Marine Chapters. You are nothing to me but just another heretic. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this universe, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Warp? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the galaxy and your powers are being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bolter.

"Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Adeptus Mechanicus and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the planet, you little shit. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot.

>My next battle started around the dinner table on Christmas Day, 2016, and I’m not talking about the fight for the last piece of Aunt Sabra’s blueberry pie.

>“What you gonna faam?” John asked, the flat, nasal “a” instead of “r” suggesting he hadn’t been outside Maine much.

“Waal,” I said, talking Down East myself, “I thought I might try soybeans.”

Our protagonist is intelligent because he can simultaneously read Plato and assume an accent.

>“I’ll tell you why you don’t see soybeans up here or on many other family farms,” said Uncle Fred. “It’s oil from soybeans that makes money, and the federal government makes it just about impossible to transport soybean oil or any other vegetable oil unless you’re a big corporation. Under federal regulations, vegetable oil is treated the same as oil from petroleum when it comes to shipment. You’ve got to get a hugely expensive Certificate of Financial Responsibility to cover any possible oil spill. You’ll never get the capital to get started.”

I have the feeling that Lind is bullshitting, or exaggerating. I'm not willing to simply dismiss this under the panachea of dramatic license because this is, as I understand it, a tract of what Lind actually believes.

Fast forwarding a little, our protagonist learns that he can't grow potatoes either because of the damn EPA.

>“What King George III was doing to us in 1776 wasn’t a hill of beans compared to this,” I said. “We didn’t take it then. Why are we taking it now?”

Foreshadowing

There really isn't anything interesting as he tries to get a job at a local tannery, but can't because of niggers. Think I'm kidding, think again.

What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true.

You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist.

Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll shit fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now, lad.

>get home from work
>see this


Nice guys. Really fantastic.

>>“The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. They come around and tell you how many blacks, Hispanics, women, whatever you have to hire. Of course, all my employees are white, because everybody up here is white. I guess Maine winters are kinda hard on black folk and those from south of the border. Anyway, that doesn’t count with them. They’ve issued an order that the next six people I hire must be blacks. The effect, of course, is that I can’t hire anyone, not even you."

>“You and I, and most folk up here, are members of the middle class. That means the government doesn’t do anything for us, it only does things to us. If you know a way to change that, I’d like to hear it. But these days, unless you’re some kind of “minority,” you don’t have any rights. Frankly, it’s just not our country any more.”

MAGA

And this more or less ends Chapter 4

What outcry have you uttered about my person, you oafish brute? I shall cordially remind you that I was the best scholar in my law class in Oxford, and I have been involved in several frivolous tea parties and courtroom disputes, and I have over 300 boxes of Earl Gray. I am proficient in the Simian school of diplomacy and I am the top linguist in my book club. Know that you resemble nothing in my eyes save for yet another uncultured mind. I will hasten your undisputed expiritation of the world with grace and finesse. The thought that you can retreat after jesting of such matters over the internet is laughable. As of this moment, I am telephoning a mutual friend to negotiate a swift and sure rebuttal to your argument so I would implore you to prepare yourself for the upcoming verbal deluge. The deluge that will no doubt saturate your life with discomfort. You are well and truly wrong, my good sir. My abilities of travel are unmatched, and I can recite over 700 lines from Shakespeare, and that is just from Hamlet. The amount of knowledge that I have acrued is vast, and I shall use it to firmly state my authority on such matters, you rapscallion. Truly, I wished you had some semblance of knowledge on the matter you have brought up and it's repercussions. Alas, you did not, and now you will suffer a fate most dire, you plebian. I shall defecate concentrated dislike upon you and you shall struggle to survive in it's waters. Pistols at dawn, old boy.

Chapter 5 - Lind on Race Relations

>About a week later I got a letter. It was from my old company Gunnery Sergeant, a black fellow and a good Marine. He was also a husband and father—rare among black males by the 21st century—and a Christian. He wrote to ask for my help.

>Gunny Matthews had gotten out about a year before I did. He had done his twenty years and had a pension, and felt it was time to move on. He knew that the catastrophe that had overwhelmed many urban black communities in America by the 1970s—crime, drugs, noise, and dirt—was not due to “white racism.” It was due to bad behavior by blacks, toward other blacks as well as toward everyone else. He wanted to try to do something about it.

>It was a measure of America’s decay that one of the most important issues facing the country—race—simply couldn’t be talked about. Not honestly, anyway. Oh, there was lots of talk about “racism” and how evil it was and how whites were to blame for everybody else’s problems. But we all knew it was bull.

Lind talks about freedom and civil right for a bit. It's pretty boring and about what you'd expect given the rest of this chapter.

>Of course, not all blacks were into instant gratification and the drug-using, drug-dealing, mugging, car-jacking, fornicating, and whoring that it brought. But tribal loyalty was strong enough that most of those who lived decent lives wouldn’t condemn those who didn’t. The rest of America saw that in every city with a black government, which promptly descended into utter disorder and corruption. Detroit turned into 6th century Rome.

The Rome part wasn't too bad

>As early as the 1970s, the average white American spelled black c-r-i-m-e. That wasn’t prejudice, it was statistics. Anywhere near a city, if you were the victim of a random crime, the criminal was almost certain to be black. The only exception was if you were in a Hispanic neighborhood; the Hispanics were rapidly going the same instant gratification route the blacks had taken, with similar results.

>Obviously, what was needed was a major crackdown. If a people cannot govern itself, then it must be governed by others. But the white Establishment hewed to the line that said blacks were “victims,” so their crimes could not be held against them. It was pure Orwellian Newspeak: criminals became victims, and the victims (at least the white victims) were the criminals because they were “racists.” So nothing was done, and blacks were emboldened to believe they could get away with anything.

>The result, in time, was a full scale race war, which was in turn part of America’s second civil war. The blacks’ so-called “leaders,” most of whom derived fat incomes from their impoverished supporters, never seemed to care that when one tenth of the population goads the other nine-tenths into a war, it loses.

It will be interesting to see where this foreshadowing leads. By interesting, I mean in the trainwreck sense.

>So Gunny Matthews had taken on quite a job. His letter told me how he’d tried to go about it.

Basically, in so much less autism, his buddy came up with a community policing strategy that worked. Until the damn lawyers came in representing the "scum." Also

>Schwerpunkt, his focus of efforts
Gratuitous German Quotes: 5

By the Old Gods and the New, what did you fucking say about me, you little imp? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Kingsguard, I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids Beyond the Wall and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in jousting and I’m the top archer in the Seven Kingdoms. You’re as useful as nipples on a breastplate. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Westeros, my words are hardly wind. You think you can get away with sending messages like that to me with a raven? Think again, bastard. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Faceless Men across Westeros and your holdfast is being scouted right now, you just woke the Dragon, bastard. The Dragon that burns up this pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, imp. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire Night’s Watch and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Seven Kingdoms, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” jape was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t you didn’t, and now you’re paying your debts, you witless fool. I will sacrifice you to the Drowned Gods. You’re fucking dead, bastard.

>This wasn’t law, I realized, this was war. The Legal Services lawyers, the liberal judges who gave them the rulings they wanted, their buddies in the ACLU, they were just enemy units of different types. More, they were the enemy’s “critical vulnerability.” The scum depended on them; no lawyers, no scum (a point we have enshrined in Victorian law, where you must represent yourself in court). The tenants had already shown they could kick out the trash, if we could get the lawyers off their backs. So that had to be our objective.
>(a point we have enshrined in Victorian law, where you must represent yourself in court)
>where you must represent yourself in court

Oh Lind, you so wacky

>I laid out a plan. The starting point was one of Colonel John Boyd’s maxims. Boyd was the greatest American military theorist of the 20th century. He said war is fought at three levels: moral, mental, and physical. The moral level is the most powerful, the physical the least (The old American military, in its love for hi-tech, could never understand that, which is why it kept getting beaten by ragheads all around the world.). We would focus our war at the moral level, and use the physical only as it had moral impact.

I can't make this paragraph much sillier than Lind makes himself. I just wanted to highlight it for anyone that didn't notice it.

>We’d start with the churches. Most of the black folk who were on the receiving end of black crime were Christians. We’d mobilize the Church Ladies—a Panzer division in this kind of fighting. We’d get them and the black ministers to go to white churches all over Boston and invite their congregations to visit the housing project. We’d let them see what those Legal Services lawyers and their friends among the judges and politicians were protecting.

For his disdain for cutting edge technology, he seems to really fetishize the Wehrmacht.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you puta pequeno? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Los Zetas, and I’ve been involved in numerous executions on the Sinaloas, and I have over 300 public beheadings. I am trained in chainsaw warfare and I’m the top decapitator in all of Juarez. You are nothing to me but just another head waiting to be severed. I will detatch it with a lack of precision and cutting force the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, gringo. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of mariachi bands across the USA and a narcocorrido is being written about you right now so you better prepare for the chainsaw, gordo. The chainsaw that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your head. You’re fucking dead, paco. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in exactly one way, and that’s with my brand new Husqvarna 440 chainsaw. Not only am I extensively trained in chainsaw combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the local hardware store and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable head off the face of the body, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over your head and your head will come off in it. You’re fucking dead, gringo.

>Now, I knew how to use a weapon, and I guessed I could shoot better than the average drug dealer. But I also knew I’d be the one in jail, not the drug dealer, if I got in a fire fight. And for a young, white, middle class male, jail in the 21st century meant homosexual gang rape.

I don't even need to riff this for it to be funny.

>Das wesentliche ist die Tat. Always, in war, that’s what it comes down to. The important thing is the deed.

Gratuitous German Quotes: 6

>The Panzers were ready for battle.

These are little old black ladies, just in case you had forgotten.

>What a pity so many chose Malcolm X and Snoop Dogg as their heroes instead.

And that concludes Chapter 5

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little goyim? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the
Harvard, and I've been involved in numerous secret pyramid schemes in the USA, and I have over 300 million dollars.
I am trained in economics and I'm the top jew in the entire society of intellectual hebrews. You are nothing to me but just
another customer. I will bankrupt you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this
Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again,
fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of bankers across the USA and your bank account is being drained
right now so you better prepare for the eviction, maggot. The eviction that kicks out the pathetic little thing you call
your ass. You're fucking broke, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can extort money from you in over seven hundred ways,
and that's just with my holocaust stories. Not only am I extensively trained in ripping you off, but I have access to the
entire arsenal of the JIDF and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable trolling off the face of the
continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to
bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking goyim tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're
paying the unreasonable price of 10% above market value, you goddamn idiot. I will overprice items all around you and you
will drown in them. Oy vey, kiddo.

>His answer proved to be important beyond our fight to save one housing project. “A number of cops around here are former Marines. We’ve got a network set up among us,” he explained to me. “We’re getting together tomorrow night. Can you come?”

>“Of course I’ll come. You think I’m some staff puke who comes up with a plan, then sends someone else off to execute it? I’ve done some thinking up in Maine. The real war is the war for our culture. This is a battle in that war. I’m in,” I replied. “Do you know a cheap place I can put up for the duration?”

Tough talk from the self-insert of the guy who's never served a day, yet considers himself to be a prophet of warfare.

>The meeting with the cops was at the Tune Tavern

Like Tun Tavern, geddit

What follows is basically the protagonist, Rumford, pitching his plan to have off-duty police officers accompany "swams" of black Church Ladies being in the vicinity of drug dealers to make things awkward enough that nobody will buy. The cops will be there to shoot back if the drug dealers go for the Glock 40s.

>The cops were quiet. One state trooper finally spoke up, a former commo staff sergeant named Kelly (sometimes I thought half the Marine Corps was named Kelly).

This is actually a little funny; good effort, Lind.

>“My problem with the whole proposal is that it doesn’t go far enough,” he continued. “Down at 2nd Marine Division I sat in on a briefing Colonel Boyd gave. He said strategy is the art of connecting yourself to as many other power centers as possible, while separating your enemy from as many power centers as possible. It was the only definition of strategy I ever heard that meant anything.”

The Boyd boner returns

What the say? Did you just say fuck me about? You bitching a little? I’ll have you graduate I know top of my Seals in the Navy Classes, and I’ve been raided in numerous Al Quaeda secret involvements, and I have killed over 300 confirmations. I am a trained gorilla. In warfare, I’m the sniper arm in the entire US force tops. You are targeting me but I’m just another nothing. I will fuck you with precision the wipes of which has never been liked before on this scene. Earth, fuck my marking words. You can get away with thinking that shit over me to the Internet? Fuck again, thinker. As we spy I am networking my secret speaking across the trace and your IP is being prepared right now so you better storm the maggots. The wipes that storms out of the pathetic little thing. You call your life? You’re fucking dead kids. I can be any time. I can weigh you in over seven hundred kills, and that’s my bear hands. Not only am I extensively accessed by trains, but I have no arms for combatting the entire arsenal United Stat
es, and I will use it to to wipe your miserable ass. You shit the faceoff of the continent. If only you could have commented what unholy cleverness your little “retribution” was about. To bring down upon you, maybe you would have fucked your tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re holding the pay, you goddamn idiot. I will drown in shit fury. Sincerely, Your dead fucking kiddo.

>“I can, and so can you,” Kelly replied. “We can do it the same way we’ve come together here: through the Marine connection. A bunch of members of the legislature are former Marines. So’s an editor at the Globe. I know him, and I know one former Marine in the State House. He can put us on to others. There’s even a regular breakfast where former Marines now in politics get together. Most of these guys think like we do. They’ll help.”

>At this point I got one of those brain farts where a whole lot of pieces from a bunch of different puzzles come together to make something new. Boyd called it synthesis.

I might need to make a Boyd Reference Counter is this continues.

>“No,” I replied. “We’ve all run around in the boonies in cammies enough for that to be old. And we don’t want violence. Violence will almost always work against us at the moral level of war. Think of it instead as a general staff for whoever wants to take our country back, wherever we could make a difference. Like we’re doing here.”

Rumford reminds us that they're totally not a militia even though they're actually going to be fighting in the future

>“In 1775, the United States Marine Corps was founded in another tavern, in Philadelphia,” I said. “I think it’s time to do it again, here in Tune Tavern. Who knows, maybe we’re making history once more.”

Tune Tavern, Tun Taver, geddit?

>“Christian Marines.”

That will be name of this merry band

>“Sign me up,” said the transit cop, Meyer. “By the way, I’m Jewish. You may remember we had the Ten Commandments before you did. But we’re all in this together. It’s the whole culture we have to fight for, our Western, Judeo-Christian culture. I’ll still go to synagogue, but I’m happy to be a Christian Marine. After all, Christ was a Jew, and so were his disciples.”

I don't know if Lind is trying to make a joke or show off how diverse his cast is with a token minority.

What the hell did you just fucking say, heretic scum? I'll have you know I was brainwashed the best among the group of stalkers I was captured with, and I have over 300 confirmed kills of non-believers wishing to get to get past Pripyat. I am trained in hunting dissidents, and I'm the top sniper in my entire brotherhood. You are nothing to me but just another agitator of the great Monolith. I will cleanse you with the holy power bestowed upon me the likes of which has never been seen before in this Zone, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with your blasphemy outside of Monolith territory? Think again, heretic. As we speak I am praying to the great Monolith. Your PDAs are being traced right now, so you had better prepare for the blowout, pagan. The blowout will cleanse the Zone of its intruders and non-believers. You will die, stalker. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my Gauss rifle. Not only am I extensively trained in close combat, but I channel the powers of the great Monolith and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your pathetic soul off the face of the zone, you heretic. If only you could have known what suffering and strife your blasphemy was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your artifacts in their containers and not in your hand. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you will be purged for your actions. Bullets from the glorious Monolith will rain down from the skies on your pathetic, empty skull. You shall be cleansed, stalker.

>And so it began, the Christian Marine Corps, the general staff for our side in the second civil war. I still have the piece of paper that went around the barroom table that day. It has twenty-two names on it. Seventeen of those men gave their lives in the war that was to come. I’m the only one left, now.

So, totally not a militia

>But those who died did so knowing they’d made a difference.

And this dramatic foreshadowing ends Chapter 6