Things Only You Do: Veeky Forums Edition

Let's see how autistic you guys are, I'll start...

>I honk my horn when I'm alone on the freeway to make sure it works idk why
>I turn my key first then press my clutch in to start my car
>I shampooed my headliner with it still in the car on my back

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=Yv2Q1w76P6k
youtu.be/Dtz7NuLu3GI
youtube.com/watch?v=u4nZUEkAsw8
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

I repeatedly flash my lights on and off at people who are driving in fog/rain without their headlights on. One in maybe every 500 people gets it.

i stick shift knob up my ass while i'm driving and try to change gears before i get jizz everywhere and have to stop to clean it up.

I do the same, sometimes they flash their highbeams back at me like I'm an ass :(

>I hold in every fart when I'm driving until I can get out

When I go through a tunnel I turn off my radio, roll down the windows, and sing until the echo fades near the end (usually eurobeat)

I turn off traction control and burn out when making u-turns because I'm an asshole

>I pull out my center distributor plug before leaving my car.

>I yell out uncontrollably

>I laugh maniacally.

>I always put it on neutral and get off the clutch but when the light turns yellow, I stick it back in 1.

>I always do a doubletake when leaving my car.

You are my hero

>I always put it on neutral and get off the clutch but when the light turns yellow, I stick it back in 1.
That's what everyone does. Otherwise you're just wearing your throwout bearing for no reason.

>wired up a button under the dash
>to start the car, you have to turn the left blinker on, press the button, THEN turn the key

I do the key before clutch thing

Also:
>try to slide the rear tires a little bit in the rain because Eurobeat but I'm too pussy to drift
>turn off headlights when I'm alone to see how dark it is outside
>come to a reasonable stop when I'm alone with the handbrake
>watch the ground when my turn signals are on to see the light shine on the road

Anti-theft, yo

I have a 6" lightbar on my truck, I flash it at people who leave their lights off at night. So far it has worked every time.

Sitting at a red light, depress the e-brake button, keep pulling it up and down like a hoe.

Enjoy your cable failing early

I bet you the normie boomers don't do it.

I would somehow fuck that combination up.

>boomers driving manual

I recently started watching my turn signal light because I recently replaced the front bulbs and they're not the colored to usual amber, Im trying to gauge if there's a difference in brightness

This.

If I was a cop 90% of my tickets would be this.

I pat the dash or front of it after arriving home every night and mutter something along the lines of "good machine" to celebrate another safe and reliable trip

I always give the hood a little kiss after washing it.

Whenever I enter a parking lot, I rev my engine twice to announce my vehicle's coming into the lot.

I do this because I'm afraid of my shitbox blowing up whenever I rev above 3.5K

This is all making me feel normal.

>have to press the lock button on the fob at least twice because I always forget if I pressed it the first time

My dad taught me how to drive stick mane. He was the one who told me to leave it in neutral.

I press my lock button twice to make my car seem like it has an alarm when it honks twice.

I grab my handgun and stand by my front window to check on my car every hour or two because honda in apartment complex.

I always wear sunglasses when driving during the day even when it's not bright because I constantly feel like someone is watching me, and my sunglasses make me feel more secure.

I honk my horn to the beat of the song I'm listening to at night.

Can't really think of anything else right now, I'm sure there's a lot more I'm autistic about but probably just unaware of it.

I call my BMW a good girl every now and then when driving.

When leaving the car

>Open door with left hand, press lock button in one motion
>Hold keys in right hand
>Standing outside the vehicle, look down to confirm keys are in hand
>Clench fist around keys
>Close door
>Put keys in pocket
>Come in with the milk
>Come in with the milk
>Come in with the milk

Traction control off no matter where I'm going, even if it's just down the shops.

Wiggle wiggle wiggle on the shifter whenever I go to nutral.

Sit and wait for the revs to drop to normal before leaving after I turn it on.

Pull on handle after locking car just to make sure it's really locked.

Hire car with the auto unlock when you touch the handle almost drove me mad.

On my motorbike I try and ride as fast as I can with my feet on the ground. Got up to 100kmh before ruining my shoes

People in Florida don't understand why they need to turn their headlights on at night,it drives me crazy. You dun good, user

I call my Honda a piece of nipshit frequently
Because it is and I kind of want someone to rearend me to end the nightmare that is owning this car.

I apologize to my car whenever the doors swing open too quickly or get slammed.

Actually I apologize a lot to my car whenever anything negative happens to it (e.g. potholes, road debris, bumping the door next to other cars, etc)

>Always do a doubletake

I often do more than a doubletake. Even on my 1995 Golf :')
I love that damn thing.

>Apologize to my cars when i push them into high revs to overtake or similar

>Talk to them to encourage them sometimes, while patting them on the dashboard

I genuinely think my 1995 golf made 480k clicks with no major repairs because of the love i give it.

>I honk my horn when I'm alone on the freeway to make sure it works idk why

Did your horn fuck you over in the past?

I do something even more autistic, I avoid looking at my car too much in public in fear of vandals targeting me because it'll be funnier.

I press the button when im waiting at a light, without engaging the e-brake. Just tick tick tick tick in a random beat with the button.

This after i come home.

>The wiggle
Yep

This 2bh

I just want to look at them, because i love them, and because i want to make sure i closed windows and locked them.


I fear for my health when i buy a Viper one day. I swear walking to and away from it will take me 30mins each.

Since I passed my test I've been driving my mum's shitbox which doesn't have central locking and I got used to locking it

I recently got my own shitbox with central locking and I have to press the lock button on the remote twice and then go in. A few minutes later I'll press the lock button from the living room. I'll then go up stairs to my room and a few minutes after that I'll go across to a window which looks over the driveway and make sure its locked one more time.

I sometimes fail to realize i shifted to third instead of first gear when i'm at a stoplight and instead of correcting my mistake I rev like an idiot and start up in 3rd gear.

It works because my shitbox doesn't give a fuck but i always feel like a retard

>about to reverse
>double check if I'm in the actual R gear.
people who remember the "your actual shifter" thread will understand.

Only I drive my car. It's that simple. Nobody else drives it anywhere. I might let people drive it once or twice if I can get insurance for them to do so.

When the stereo starts shuffling onto tracks I'm not in the mood for, I turn it off and back on to reset the playlisting, then pick a track through the menus.

I slow down for rainy conditions on the motorway. I know that's what you're MEANT to do, but nobody else does that.

I don't ruin my car with 'sikk mawdz', I have legally bright un-tinted lights, I don't leave my foglights on when they're not needed.

autism screams when driving along.

everyone must do this

I've tried to get moving in 4th, stalled, started the engine, tried to move off again but still in 4th and stalled.
I then realised my mistake, put it into first, started up, slammed the gas, dropped the clutch and tried to get out of there as quick as possible

If I'm with someone or by myself and I have eurobeat playing I zone out. Like my mind will drive for me. It'll happen for like a min before I realize it happens. It's scary.

same here. When i listen to eurobeat while drivng sometimes im more likely to exceed the speed limit.
Also i've noticed that i behave and speak differently while driving. Thats also strange

>>I turn my key first then press my clutch in to start my car

Wat.

You like, press down on the clutch as you're turning the key to start? Or you turn to ignition then clutch in and start?

What the fuck are you talking about.

>checkum

No, like I said, idk why I do it

The latter, I turn the key to "start" THEN I press in on the clutch to start the car, try it sometime, it's weirdly satisfying

That doesn't work with most cars.

>I turn the key to "start" THEN I press in on the clutch to start the car

So you start your car like this?

youtube.com/watch?v=Yv2Q1w76P6k

Then hit the clutch after the starter motor has started to move the car?

RIP your starter motor

>have lightly hold left turn blinker in car because if its all the way pushed in it buzzez loud as fuck and the signal goes out
>manage my gas pressure to avoid knocking
>reverse is fucked so , pump clutch a few times, reverse 3 seconds, neutral, pump clutch, reverse 3 seconds, neutral. Continue this recipe till you have a pizza.

Different user here- I don't quite get what is happening in that video.

I start my cars in gear all the time. Since the clutch pedal must be depressed to start the car, it doesn't go anywhere until you start releasing the clutch. Why does the car in the video just begin moving as soon as it starts? Did he start it without pressing the clutch pedal?

He started it in gear without depressing the clutch, so the engine was connected to the wheels and his starter motor had to physically move the car to turn the engine over.

I don't get the fuck that other user is on about. Why does it matter what he does with the clutch if he's just starting in neutral.

I think what he's saying is since his car probably doesn't start without the clutch pedal being depressed, he turns the key to starting position first, then pushes in the clutch with the key still at start, the engine only begins to start once the clutch is fully depressed. It's exactly the same as starting normally but he just does it oddly.

Some manuals won't let you start if you are not pressing the pedal to the floor. I'm guessing he is saying that he turns the key to start and THEN presses the clutch down which causes the car to start. I've done that and it is oddly satisfying.

Literally never heard of that feature.

How do you bump start it when the battery or motor dies?

I assume it's an American thing so soccer moms who never drove 'stick' don't start it and drive straight into a tree.

It's not the only song but I realized it happens alot to this song youtu.be/Dtz7NuLu3GI

I think he just means
>get in
>turn key to ON, but don't crank it
>clutch in
>crank
really it's just that most manual cars come with a clutch safety switch, so you cant start it at all unless you clutch in

I don't think it's an American thing but I'm not sure. It's just a safety thing so if you start the car in gear it doesn't just start moving. You can still bump start a car with this feature, you just try and start it while it's rolling and in gear.

>really it's just that most manual cars come with a clutch safety switch

No car that I've ever seen in the UK.

The dealer started my car by opening the door, turning the key with one foot on the throttle so it roared into life. He then removed his foot and started talking about the car. No-one ever touched the clutch. No-one was even sitting inside.

These guys ( ) explanation makes more sense.

Well it probably is some murrican safety crap, but statistically the original user who posted is probably american

It's a murrica thing for sure.

When I'm stressed out.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Cathartic.

Okay, you guys are retarded. If you turn your key to "start" in a car with clutch pedal interlock, it with not do anything until you press the clutch in. So you turn the key, then press in the clutch in, the starter will then crank over. It doesn't wear your starter motor in any way

>>I pull out my center distributor plug before leaving my car.
This a pretty good anti theft mechanic. Might do it once i buy my first car

>>I always put it on neutral and get off the clutch but when the light turns yellow, I stick it back in 1.

Literally everyone that has any idea of what's going on on the tranny does this. Keeping the clutch in fucks the clutch and some parts of the tranny

I half expected the soldiers to execute him at the end of the movie as a complete fuck you to the audience

what movie?

I get into the car like I'm a chad, practically whipping the door open and tossing myself inside caring not for the suspension

I'm 300lbs

I do stuff like wipe my nose or scratch my neck with my shifting hand in between shifts in traffic, hoping it subconsciously makes other drivers think i'm not being a boy racer faggot

>get out of car
>spam "lock" until it beeps at least 3 times

youtube.com/watch?v=u4nZUEkAsw8

>Manually operate wipers

Just lmao if you use the intermittent settings for wipers like a pleb

The movie he posted. The Mist. Based off the book by whatshisface.

It's alright and kinda spoopy.

I stand in front of a glass window or door and turn the key to accessory after turning the car off, just so I can turn the load-adjusting headlights on and off and watch them angle down and back up.

>Cop in the northwest USA?

>Say a small prayer to the skid demon before every ride
>do skids on road paint, and in the wet while going around corners.
>absolutely hammer it when light goes green
>rev like a maniac because exhaust sounds nice
>sing songs in my helmet while I ride
>take hands off handle bars and do dancing when bored
>play horn music with other road users
>stoppie whenever I need to stop
>thank the skid demon after every ride

I didn't even realize I had this autistic problem until now. None of the intermittent speeds are just right unless it's an absolute downpour.

>>absolutely hammer it when light goes green
>>rev like a maniac because exhaust sounds nice
This. No point going slow if I can do 0-60 in 5s

>muffler delete
>car makes cool popping noise when barely tapping the gas if you're in second or third and decelerating around 2k-5k rpms
>find large crowd of people or people with their windows down
>shift into second and feather the shit out of gas pedal
>stare at them until they look at me then act like I wasnt looking at them and drive away
Why am I such an attention whore autist?

Fat or muscle

My car has a full stainless exhaust with cat delete and it does this exact thing. Slight throttle input on deceleration produces this quieter but constant backfire

>muscle
>Veeky Forums

>300lbs of muscle

Its addictive. Until you need to drive somewhere quietly and it starts backfiring

When i get bored driving my autotragic i "practice" braking with my left foot.

Im getting quite good at it.

as autistic as it gets

>Stuck in traffic behind a truck in the STI
>There's been a huge crash along the road and traffic is being held up
>Flashing blues in the mirror so I pull forward and to the side
>Police car is a huge 4x4 and can't get through, lorry won't move either because he's outside since he just happened to rear end a Jag in the traffic
>Have to put it into reverse
>Policeman sat there looking on disapprovingly.
>mfw

Can Subaru make the reverse gear actually exist inside this dimension please.

I hate having to input the stargate code on my shifter to open the portal to it every time.

...

Lol there are times where I'll start the car and be moving within 5 seconds... I don't think it gives a fuck.

It does. You fuck up the oil feeding with that and make the car run way too cold

I don't do it in winter and my car isn't a turbo so I don't have to wait for the oil to get to those parts. The bottom end of the motor has oil pretty much immediately and its the only part being stressed more than just idling would. Once my oil pressure light goes out I don't care, we is moving. I don't rev the engine out immediately... Maybe 3500 rpm at maximum which, if there's oil, is fine.

No you idiot. Oil is dependant to the RPM but it still needs some time to build up pressure. The oil light only makes sure that there is enough pressure at the first parts that needs to be lubricated, not all of them. Even without a turbo the oil takes time to reach the entire engine. That's why some people suggest up to 30 seconds in some engines to get the oil to reach everything

> Get in car
> Shut door
> Start engine
> Fasten seatbelt, turn on lights, adjust stereo volume, etc
> Engine's ticking over nicely now
> Off you go

Simple as that for a modern car. Maybe your ancient rustheap shitbox needs to 'warm up' for more than a few seconds, but most newer cars do not.
I bet your oil change intervals are 5k, too.

i do this

wipers make me carsick

and people who have them full blast in a mild rain make me rage

Trust me buddy, my car is fine with it.

Nope. Any car that doesn't use an electric oil pump damages the internal components very little whenever you start the car. But you increase the wear when you dont let the oil pressure build up.

Ok buddy, i am a mechanic but i am sure you are correct when you say "trust me"

I do this so hard I have begun to unconsciously do it now. Some times I'll walk away and forget or fail to realize I took the keys out, checked and put them in my pocket all the while locking my car/truck.. .

Makes me wish all my cars were more like my 61 Falcon... You can only lock the doors if they are closed aka You can never lock yourself out... ever.

You are missing out

Starting my 48y old veeate without choke gets my spirits up like nothing else
1 to 2 min and im good to go