ITT: Interview questions that always gets you

ITT: Interview questions that always gets you
>What are your hobbies?

>Why couldn't we find you on Facebook?

>Why have you applied for this company?

>send a cv cause welfare office requires it
>employer probably googles name, doesnt come up

never get even to the interview, keep receiving the generous welfare shekels infinitely

>Who is your role model?

>I dont agree with the terms of use
>muh privacy
>handle social live via other apps/sites

>Not looking him in the eye and telling him the truth
>"jerking off to anime girls, sir"
That's why you don't get hired, son.

This. I firmly believe this cost me a senior position at AT&T. Its bullshit man i dont want to see what marcus from 3rd grade thinks about trump or look at my barbers grandson making stupid faces. I have friends and family and i have 1000 other ways to interact with them. The interviewer looked at me like i said i was from north korea. Theres no other reason i would have been denied that position except my age. And the fat bitch that got it was a year younger with half my experience. Fuck this shit

>how large is your penis?

>Are you comfortable working for a woman?

>Where's the most interesting place you've been outside the US?
>Why are you staring at my tits?
>It says here you were only at your last job for 6 months, can we trust you?
>We are a multi-cultural organization, are you comfortable with that?
>This election is crazy isn't it?

All actual questions I've been asked

>this election is crazy isnt it?
Laughed really hard imagining that in the cardboard voice of an hr drone reading off a page. You know the type. They only put any inflection on the last two or three words like they suddenly remember theyre talking to a person. Like a fifth grader reading in class

>What is your biggest weakness?
Social/Emotional Intelligence

I remember bombing one interview hard and just told them fire.

They actually offered the job surprisingly but then again they had a massive turnover rate so it really didn't matter.

>What made you decide to learn Japanese?
>Why do you want to work in Japan?

>fire
Well, it is a pretty good answer.

>What's your biggest weakness?
>My honesty
>Explain
>That was a fucking retarded question

Why did you fuck those kids?

Back in the day?:
>Why our firm?
There's literally zero goddamn difference between major law firms except the name, given the churn of partners and involvement and given that all literally peg their salaries to the same numbers.

Interviewers are very demanding today, its always that creepy stare they give when you can tell they are thinking and sizing you up, it feels generally uncomfortable being examined with such nose_y-ness.

Didn't you know? You are a creepy weirdo if you don't have an active facebook account and engage in constant social narcissism.

Welcome to the "Normie world".

>This election is crazy isn't it?
>We are a multi cultural organization, are you comfortable with that?

So basically, if you are a Trump supporter you are not allowed a job.
Brb, gonna go delete every pro Trump thing I've posted on Facefuck.

The current year is ridiculous.

...

> How do you feel about the Chapel Hill classification of vasculitis?

Nah don't worry about it, but it is best to keep political opinions private.

The person that asked about it turned out to be a Trump supporter. Ended up commenting that Hillary seems to be a criminal and that Trump is very polarizing to be safe.

Ah, that's kind of a relief haha. Still gonna keep that shit private from now on, though.

So I take it you didn't get hired by tit chick? :)

what if I don't support either and I just want to do my job and go home ?

Try to pick a specific case/client they worked on and give a justification from there

>Why did you take 7 years to finish your studies?

Oh no I knew her it was at my 3rd job after graduating and she was my in at the company

Oh, trust me, I did. But that's always been complete horseshit.

>So, tell us a bit about yourself...

What is one thing you want me to remember after this interview?
>uhhm. T-that I'm attractive
I said that at the end of an interview at my schools career fair. It was to a fat HR lady representing PNC bank. I didn't get a follow up interview.

I've got an interview at a large PE firm next week.

Anyone know what those firms' interviews are like?

Your resume is bad if they can tell that. You worked before attending uni for 4 years user

My official list with grades has dates on them, so if I say that then I can't show my grades anymore. But I guess I have little choice.

I actually spend three years on my thesis which I had to do over again couple times due to deadlines.

God dammit you people really are autists. Is it that hard to bullshit your way through an interview and maintain a social networking profile?

Just make one and make everything super private. Hide the friends list. "Like" a few normal things (like "Step Brothers" and Chipotle). Make sure the picture of you is not a selfie and the banner is something non-offensive

Wow I hate failbook but you technically need one

Fuck off with Facebook shenaningans. I got an account but without any pictures or any of that shit.

But i dont want a social networking profile

One which I got was "what are some recent deals we have worked on"

Unfortunately it was a company that kept that information private so despite knowing they would ask it and googling the night before, I couldn't find anything so had to say I didn't know. Pretty sure that question cost me the job.

I also hate being asked technical questions in interviews since it's not really the place for it.

Haha, I once asked how I would handle a complaint from Italy while I didn't even know what my job would entail.

I was actually asked this for a dickshit intro level job with a giant evil bank

>"tell me about a time you led a diversity initiative"
>my fucking face
I straight faced told that bitch I had no idea what the fuck that meant. She admitted that she didn't know either.

I interviewed 1 person today and three yesterday, only one of them deserves the job and the rest need to try harder. Its tuff as fuck to interview people, but over time i will get better and just not care about the person anymore. four person interview at my company

Kek'd

Were they only hiring mind readers / spies?

That's how it should be, just doing your job and going home. I really wish personal shit wasn't a factor in job interviews

Seriously?
These fucking bloated human resources cunts. Does anyone know what the fuck that means? Who gives a shit about diversity when you can do the job? Shit makes me rage harder than Mel Gibson at a bar mitzvah

>2016 applying for a bank

hr cunts get paid less than a fucking welfare net salary. you are dealing with people IQ equal to down syndrome

>"tell me about a time you led a diversity initiative"

"My last job interview rejected me because I'm white"

This kind of shit doesn't happen in the trades.

wow, guess i'm not going to glorious nippon then

>"If you were a character from Jungle Book, which one would you be and why?"

wouldn't this be a good response? "I use it under a pseudonym, and I use it only for personal communications"

>Do you prefer red peppers or green peppers?

How do you respond to this?

doesn't matter. those are bullshit questions. they just want to see whether you freeze up. make a quick decision. if they follow up give a creative reasoning.

there is a whole class of deliberately vague or even impossible to answer questions. they want to see you creatively thinking outside the box and be quick-witted. the actual content of your answer doesn't matter.

>asking Veeky Forums for private equity advice

It's an easy answer actually. "Because (name here) has a proven track record as CEO and I want to be part of the continued success of this growing company" or something along those lines.

It's funny to think about, though. In reality, is anyone's true answer not "because I need money?"

"It seems you worked at *random job* until February 2012 and then started working at your last job in August 2013? What did you do during the intervening gap?"

"I travelled the world with your mother. Speaking of gaps, your mother showed me hers last night"

what law school you go to?

isn't big law fuckin hell? do you like it?

Lol fags, remember, you do them a favor by putting in your life in exchange for money. I have yet to find a job that is more interesting than doing nothing or working on your own projects. Your lifetime is your biggest asset, never forget that.

>do you have two professional references?
>your professors don't count

>tell us a specific time when you demonstrated leadership/solved a problem/dealt with a difficult situation/worked together with someone

>when applying to an entry level job

WHAT PART OF I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE DON'T YOU GET YOU THIRD DAY LEFTOVER SACK OF BURGER MINCE

Just the thought of going to an interview sends my pulse skyrocketing and makes me sweat. No thanks senpai.

If only interviews took place inside a 90's sitcom.

This

Ghandi should be a safe option or MLK.

And then what? What have you done that is even remotely similar to what Ghandi or MLK did?

You just say you want to inspire change in your fellow man or some shit. I don't know I've never been asked the question in an interview.

>"I'm very passionate about not starving to death"