'BOOM BOOM BOOM. CRAAASSSSHHH!'

'BOOM BOOM BOOM. CRAAASSSSHHH!'

1 minute. 1 minute is all it takes for an intruder to kick your door down and breach your multimillion dollar property while you're on your monthly cruise. Completely free to ransack and pillage your millions.

1- Millions of Americans every day, work hard. But WHO is WORKING HARD to keep THEIR HARD WORK, *SAFE*?

2- Millions of Americans every day keep all their personal information NEATLY PACKAGED together, perfect for any robber to steal and impersonate your full identity.

How DO YOU protect your valuables?

CAN you afford to keep your life's work insecure? Remember. One minute is all it takes for your door to come crashing down.

By not living in america

>Not setting up a turret in your living room

Oh sowwy officeuhh
i was holding it for my awmy fewnd

>One minute is all it takes for your door to come crashing down.
if you have high-explosives sure.
but there is nothing you can do really. you can put it in a safe, but even those can be opened in time. if you have a lot of money you gonna have a safe hidden that gives the attackers at least an hour of struggle to open or move and an alarm system that connects to private security firm that responds in 10 minutes. if you don't have much wealth this is not an option it wouldn't be worth it.

Better security, possibly put all my important valuables in a secure/hidden room before I go on a cruise.

and insurance if the burglars can cause a lot of damage.

Have guards that watch the house's entrances?

Pretty simple if you're rich.

What if guards are in on it and are tired of being paid $15/hr while their master is worth millions?

Check. A whole entire can of worms.

The problem is that identity theft is bad...

But what if literally all of your information is stolen? Every last piece?

How would you even get started fixing it when you have NO ID to prove you're you?

You guys all fail so far

You enter into local politics and get to know your local bank branch managers. All you need is people of authority to recognize you, it's simple.

Sounds easier than it is.

Id reckon at least 90% of millionaires don't have this

I'm not even a millionaire and I have a personal relationship with people who manage my money at the bank.

How? Ask them out to coffee?

No one manages my money either, I use an online discount broker

>The problem is that identity theft is bad...
>But what if literally all of your information is stolen? Every last piece?
no that's not possible. i bring my papers with me on vacations and everything is encrypted AES+TwoFish 512bit symmetric encryption on my hard drives.
but my valuables and contracts and whatnot can be damaged and is what i was talking about.

>How would you even get started fixing it when you have NO ID to prove you're you?
well what you do is first report the ids stolen. then and this is really important you need to keep your birth certificate safe. because with that you can get a new id and back on track in a week.
the best strategy is not to keep the id and the bc at the same place if you lose id it can be fixed with a bc but if you lose your bc and still have your id you are not in the limbo at all. in time a missing bc can be reissued especially if you have your ids.

>I have a personal relationship with people who manage my money at the bank.
ugh... that kind of faggot huh?

> He's proud to use chained algorythms that will weaken his encryption

You know how I know you're a poorfag?

Identity theft is an annoyance. If you have a relationship with banks that matters, they want to protect you and eat the costs of petty bullshit like a couple grand here or there of stuff you don't normally buy. They help lock it down and clean it up not the end of the world.

>that will weaken his encryption
if you can prove that i will suck your dick no homo

I have looked into the legality of booby trapping my house before specifically for this ocassion.

like a mix between hostel, saw, and home alone

shotgun contraption installed in wall pointed to shoot through the center zone of an open window with motion sensor trigger. guy tries to climb in window, the moment his head enters from outside to inside my window, boom

lethal electrical current running through metal frame of windows

shotgun shell cartridges in doorways at knee/balls/head/heart level

bear traps in attic

etc etc

but sadly booby trapping your house is illegal in most places, which i personally find retarded.

I can understand the reasoning "if police or medical are dispatched to your home to help you they will be put in harms way so you cant do this", but IMO i should be able to just register with the county clerk and opt out of home-entering helping services

ive had a long debate about this with a girl i know, shes horribly against the idea, and furthermore not even willing to have a gun in her home. when discussion came up "what do you do when hes eyeballing you and ready to rape you?" she basically said IDK, me: "cool, he just raped you and now hes cutting your body into pieces to feed to your dogs. The same guy came to my house a week later and his brains splattered against the window the moment he stuck his head in my window"

Insurance is cheaper than home protection services in my area because crime rates are so low. Feels good to be greater than a hour from a large city full of ghetto nigger scum and Mexicans. Everything in my house is non-sentimental anyways.

>Encrypting your hard drive

What if you forget your encryption key?

its called having an alarm.
or even better yet, set up an automated gun turret connected to a motion detector set up at the front of ur house so if anyone walks in they get a shot of lead to the gut.