/evn/ - English Visual Novels

the only one on lemma is barzini and he's not what i'm looking for.

>Reposting here

First off, Justyna, congrats.

Yaoi ain't my kind of thing, but go for it.

Criticism:
I played the demo, the writing is a bit "totes cool" and somewhat cringey

If your game is adult-themed, how about checking out journalists at Lewd Gamer? They are really nice. Maybe you can partner up with someone there/hire someone?

Thanks for the feedback! I guess I can't do anything if you feel that way. I'm not sure if it's possible, but could you describe how it was cringey in more detail?

Sure, give me a bit to replay the demo.

Thanks! I'm going to sleep now, but I'll read the comments and respond tomorrow.

So just how much shilling did you yourself do since it was just you? Do you already have a following or did you post a thread on lem, shill once here and then kickstart?

Oh, it is fair. All the clues are there. No unreliable narrators or cheap tricks. Sometimes the MC will comment on things that are unusual, leaving to you the task of determining if those are valid leads or not. You have an excelent journal tool and there is a sort of "hit corner".

You can also get fall to a bunch of red herrings and, miss crucial clues forever if you are not careful. There are lots of liars too.

It's fair, yet very difficult.

>miss crucial clues forever
Then they aren't crucial

Missing them makes the case unsolvable, throwing you into alternate routes or bad ends, depending on how bad you fuck up. Since failure hinges on them, I think crucial is the right word.

i spell things out for people in my vn and people still are still confused about crucial details. unfortunately vn fans will buy your 60,000 word game, read it in an hour of button mashing and skipping, then wonder why they are confused and the game is short.

As long as it returns you the place you fucked up afterwards instead of going through it all again it could work but please don't fuck people over so much or you won't get a positive response. Guarantee it. Just like the other user said, average readers are quite... Dumb.

Those aren't monsters, those are shitty stereotypes with monster bits superglued on.

>average readers are quite... Dumb.
That's my fear. Thankfully, my safeward is including boobs after a few bad choices, when I can say for sure the reader is too dumb to appreciate the challenge. I might manage.

And otome monsters are different how exactly?

The devs are also blinded by the knowledge of where everything is, how it all ties together, and what the outcome of everything will be. It makes it incredibly easy to overlook the fact that they made it damn near impossible for everyone else to solve.
Mysteries need a very strong logical progression. The dev/writer not only needs to place themselves in their own character's shoes, but also the player. Bringing in friends and acquaintances they know aren't stupid to playtest whether their game has that flow is also a good idea.

less glued on bits?

Why are you asking me?

Is it too much to ask for monstergirls (and men I suppose) to be fleshed out beyond just adding miscellaneous animal and insect body parts purely for fetishistic purposes? I want to see them with their own cultures and lifestyles and not just because if you give them a tail it can be used for tailjobs.
That would make sleeping with them so much more interesting.

I can recommend you a story where you'll find this, but it's not a VN.

The problem is that teratophilia is an entire different fetish and unless you're writting the next LOTR, chances are that you won't get to showcase the most unique aspects of your worlbuilding.

Is this what you want?

furries

Not that user, but recommend away. That kind of thing might come in handy later.

> monsters
> furries

not the same thing, user.

anonkun.com/stories/the-paladin-of-avalon/-JRvxJl3loGBg9Bo64XE/home
There's quite a bit of that stuff there, especially in the earlier chapters. Centaurs, amazons, harpies, lizardfolk, etc. Then it kinda goes in an out and gradually raises the stakes.
Also, found a picture.

How are they different?

Wow, this looks good. Thanks a bunch, bud.

I'm not really looking for a change in a appearance, just the way in which they behave. I want them to have more depth revolving around their monsterish characteristics, rather than just have ears or a tail merely for "flavor" or that every monster girl needs semen to live like kenkou's so fond of.
Basically I just want deeper, more interesting monstergirl characters.

You haven't actually watched Monster Musume, have you?

No problem man.

>watching anime
No, but I did read a good portion of the actual manga when it came out. It's fetishbait. There's no depth to these characters beyond how they can use their monster attributes for fetishistic purposes. I'm talking about actual culture and thought processes that go beyond giving guys boners.
They live in their own societies and operate in their own distinct way utilizing the features that they have. They don't go to a human school or be reallocated to live with some human caretaker, or need semen to live. Approaching them could be incredibly dangerous or they could be persecuted against by humans and other species, while others could live in harmony with one another, although inter-species relationships could still be heavily frowned upon.

To add to that, blue submarine no. 6 had an interesting take on a relationship with a monstergirl.

Go read Seriously.

Fuck off, ego.

Who?

Schizophrenic scumbag from Veeky Forums who shilled that quest all the time.

You sure he was shilling this quest?

Not positive, but pretty sure.

This is my plan.

how many projects are you working on? i've got 3 going, down from working on 4 just a month ago.

I want to become a stronger person and only accept high quality writing and carefully crated mature stories, but I am too much of a slave to cute anime girls. I'm sorry everyone.

Ah, the advantages of either being rich and doing little yourself, or hopelessly naive.

One and two others fully outlined for after I'm done this one.

Why not both?

Those are not mutually exclusive. In fact, I prefer stories that combine both.

One. But I have like 20 ideas I may or may not develop in the future.

Agreed. Good stories + cute girls is god tier.

In a dream world all games with pretty girls would also be well written. Alas, it is not to be.

Any reading/websites that can help me write descriptions for scenes?

Like I'm trying to describe sunsets, sunrises, night time, etc. but am having a hard time without reusing the same thing over and over.

or maybe i have a good structure going that balances my own work and others

MGQ ended on a disappointing note for me in part 3. Instead of going to address the underlying issues of the conflicts between monster girls and humans (ie. territorial conflicts, rape, no sense of society for the most part, murdering humans without remorse...) all of these are simply ignored or even worse, handwaved with
>We'll find a way if we believe lol!

lol

>describe sunsets, sunrises, night time, etc.
do you not have backgrounds for those?

;)

Not for everything. For example sometimes I want to describe a sunset in a school or other times on a roof.

I don't understand you people who think a background means there's no reason to say anything about the scene, ever.

because you'd rather be writing for novels

I'm not a good writer, but the way I might approach it is
>Is it important for me to describe this?
>If not, then either drop a throwaway line or don't mention it at all
>If it is important, then why? That's your angle.

Even illustrated books describe things you can see in said illustrations, but obviously not to the same length as in pure text. VNs are the same way. It's stupid to think you shouldn't say anything at all about the surroundings or happenings just because there's a picture too.

Pity for you all.

Same. I've got my main project and three other ideas I really like.
Two of them depend on an /evn/ friend though, I would not want to work alone on them.

>an /evn/ friend though
Is it me, user?

I don't think so. Are you shitposting on twitter at the moment?

...

sentimental trickster user - how did you get away with accepting paypal pledges for a project with adult content? That does directly against paypal's policies regarding explicit content and your entire campaign could have been shut down over it. Why'd you risk it?

Sasuga /evn/. I've seen you guys being petty and miserable on a daily basis for months, but this one is the cheapest one to date I've seen.

does one of them have a benis

>t. miserable nogames sociopath

what was it?

Some user saying he was to report that other dev.

...

*was going to report

Oi, that's yesterday's request, thanks !
But, you said you have like 5+ projects, why are you slacking ?

what a fag. p.s. kickstarter doesn't give a shit if there's adult stuff in your game as long as you don't put nudity on your page

Seiyuu Danshi was funded but not released, yet we got another faggot vn kickstarter.

>ebin ruse cruise generates less than 10 posts
i give up
this place is fukkng d e d

It's been only 18 posters throught the day. Probably there is only 4-5 of us here now, what did you expect?

> another

We've had what, 3 this year? Compared to the dozens of titty games, it's still far from close.

if anons didn't shit on progress posters, then maybe this general wouldn't be so fucking dead

I'm expecting some more cute elves.

Me too.

Got tired of furniture user.
I consider these kind of sketches as a breather between work.

That user who posted the cute animated brown gril in the blue dress didn't really get shit on.

i don't see any positives to posting here at all. i might get a compliment or two? big deal

post some chairs

You and me both nigga. I've given up hope of a productive /evn/ thread. I don't even know why I still bother coming here.

Other devs, gossip, the ocasional new project shilling that keeps you up to date with what's going on, healthy Veeky Forums trolling, something to check on your phone while taking a dump... take your pick.

Because you love what you claim to hate. If you really didn't like it here, you wouldn't be here. There's many other sites for you to discuss your project on.

...

Not the first time I have posted here to critical disclaim, user.
Nor will it be the last. I blame stockholm syndrome.
Oh come on, it has some perks. You get to experience brutal honesty which I like to believe better prepares one for negative perception for a general release. Those bad reviews will look insignificant in comparison to the stuff you've already had thrown at you.