>watched tutorials online about management
>lied on resume and applied to every manager job in my area
>got a store manager position
>was NEET for over 3 years, now make about 45K per year because I pirated videos and was convincing enough in an interview
I actually really enjoy the job.
What videos? I want to do the same
lynda.com
just do the free trial or pirate them. I didn't pay a penny.
You smart.
>lie about resume
>they find out my experience is fake
what do
Do 360 degrees and walk away.
The way that I handled this is by telling them that my prior experience was in managing my own company, something that may or may not have ever actually existed, but is totally untraceable and based on my own word and ability to explain my role, which I simply copy-pasted qualities of a good manager that I knew from looking at the job descriptions, as well as what I actually thought from watching all of these videos and learning about management.
It's really not hard to do for these entry-level, store-manager positions. People just don't possess the qualities of a manager, to be professional and know how to handle situations so that everyone walks away happy, so these positions are actually a common job listing in my area of the USA. The pay is above average. I work normal hours. I have skills that are applicable to any field in a managerial sense. I think that it's a good idea and I'm glad that I grew the balls to actually try it after thinking about the idea for a couple of weeks. I got a haircut(my hair was down to my shoulders), bought the best suits I could find at Goodwill, and had the core knowledge and personality to do the job, so eventually someone liked me more than other applicants and hired me. Have a cool head, use the knowledge you learn from all of these videos, and you will probably be a perfectly good, serious applicant. The typical people that work these jobs are dumber than we are. If you can deal with people, I highly recommend what I've done for NEETs.
lol are u ashamed that u wasted ur opportunity to go fullthrottle and get into creative endeavours
i did this too, i got into a sales position at 19 by lying my way into it
tips for NEETs here:
if you're an actual autist, don't be afraid. learn to keep your mouth shut, keep interests separate from work (if you're like me you'll start sperging on about engines in the middle of a meeting). you're at an advantage because you don't respond to normal social queues, so if someone tries to fuck you over they will fail. learn how body language works (it's hard at first but it gets easier), learn how to manipulate people, practice. autists are businessmen who haven't learned how to use people.
lie lie lie, don't stop lying. everyone else does, you're probably looking at life from an honest viewpoint and let's be honest nobody does that.
people are dumber than you'd think, remember half of the population by definition has to have a below average intelligence. most people have no clue how finance or law works, so you'll find they will bend over to you if you sound smart as they have been conditioned to not ask questions.
nobody knows what they're doing. pretend that you know and you will go far. NEVER show any signs of weakness.
Bump
im gonna try op, i have nothing to lose. but how much will take me to learn something? i wanna have a job in programming. should i take the risk? and thanks for share, op not a faggot.
Situation: I've got back to school after one year being hikikomori. Desperate to get out of parents' house. Assuming you didn't have a degree at 19? How did you lie to them? I mean I would feel guilty when I lie to others (which I avoid mostly) because I was taught to be honest and lying is immoral. How can I get past that?
>learn how to manipulate people
Is the advice in "48 Laws of Power" applicable?
Thank you the other fellow NEET.
>implying everyone is creative enough to do that
Top lel
OP that is illegal btw
Not that you'll get found out for mediocre management roles
Bump
There is an oxymoron here.
If you are at a lowly job, then they will most likely not search your CV due to boredness.
If you are a long time in a job and managed to get up the ladder, nobody will search yor CV in fear of repercussions.
So, as long as you can fake it, and can be convincingly offended or capable of twisting when need arises, you will not have a problem. Just be careful, whenever someone you know actually tries to search your past, divert his attention by offering to tell him more yourself.
Also, if needed, try to claim that those companies/departments/colleges/whatever you mention have been closed due to insufficient funds or something.
Good job, and welcome to the good world. You have unlocked the ability to go up the ladder.
Congratulations, you are the niggerest!
Now teach us, professor
>How can I get past that?
To convince others about a lie, you first need to convince yourself. Just believe, even temporarily, that what you think about yourself is true. Roleplay a bit.
Then, it is all a matter of experience. You need to manipulate others by diverting their attention away from what you don't want them to think. If i claim i have a stolen diamond in my pocket, but manage to divert the discussion smoothly to diamonds overall, then diamonds as minerals, then eventually about the other person's opinions on the weather, then it will get forgotten quickly. Humans can only think about one thing at a time.
>the niggerest!
12 year old detected
>360
If you are telling the truth, i sincerely admire you.
Gonna check those vids.
Thanks user!
I have roleplayed for years and I've pretended to be someone else just to get away from sticky situations irl. Hooooly shit ty OP, my meme skills will finally come to practice.
Bump
How long did you take to learn all about management and which videos did you watch from lynda.com?
if you ran your own business you should have a paper trail and tax records
someone who was 12 years old in 2006, when that was hot /b/speak maybe
>OP that is illegal btw
u wot m8
>360 degree
Are you dumb? Then you still walk to the same direction
Which most of these dummies have no idea how to access even in cases where they can be accessed.
Betting $100 that Veeky Forums is your first board*
*no I am not actually betting $100
first time on Veeky Forums?
It's and old inside joke or as us internet nerds call it "meme".
I blieve it originated from back when the Xbox 360 was crapping out on people and maybe even before then with the typical joke of,
Why do they call it the Xbox360?
Because when you see it you turn 360 degrees and walk away.
It evolved into being ... turn 360 degrees and moonwalk away.
No it was a bit before that. It first came from genuine retards (or jokers, who knows?) that replied "turn 360 degrees and walk away" in one of those classic "wat do?" threads in /b/.
People then started making parodies of that ever since. 99% of "360" comments are now just ironic/joke posts. Also, 80% of those "OMG DONT YOU MEAN 180 RETARD??" comments are also ironic/joke posts as well so take caution as well and don't be quick to call them newfriends.
Entry level middle management jobs like that don't require any specialty knowledge to begin with. Good job though, OP.
It is. You win.
Almost. I just check biz and fit
How do I learn and practice my lies well enough?
I really want to do this. I've been a neet for three years. I want to manage a fastfood place or somethin since it seems easiest
nigger detected
what are the responsibilities of your job?
Did you lie about experience? I lie about being Manager of my father's company for 3 years and he even puts a good word in for me and I still can't get a management position at factories. Should I aim lower to retail stores?
How old are you? Id try this but im only 19 so no one would believe me.
Fuck I don't mind lying about stuff but the references part kills me because I have NONE whatsoever
Just don't be like this dweeb and list your fucking family member as a reference lmfao
Then what do?
How hard is the job itself
Did something related:
>turn 20
>housing market is at an all time low
>gotta cash in on this
>work overtime 3 month
>very high salary
>show bank my high wage
>Oh veyyy you can get a good loan
>buy apartment with savings
>sell some years later for +230% profit
Easy peasy.. Thats how i became millionare in my national currency by the age of 22 (only 133k euros tho).
Managers have no discernible skills or ability besides >people skills. Literally anyone can do it.
buy 3 burner phones at walmart and use them for references along with three fake gmail email accounts.
Or alternatively, just add friends as references and just say they were co workers or your assistant/manager or some shit.
What did u say was the reason for ur 'business' shutting down?
You know, something that may interest some individuals, including OP, is that you can get a regionally accredited A.S. in Business Admin for only a couple grand doing entirely open, self-paced courses.
Thomas Edison University in NJ accepts MOOCs, credit-for-exam, and specifically a whole series of business courses from Saylor Academy (free). The only costs with getting a full degree are taking comprehensive proctored exams (which can be done online) and student registration. Saylor materials are free-for-use, so no buying books or shit.
Even if you only did a couple classes a year while working OP, you'd have promotion bait at the ready, and you'd actually solidify that you are truly "legit."
Some other universities for non-traditional students might do this stuff too, but it is hard to find institutions like this that are actually regionally accredited.
Second this.
Swedish?
The housing market is insane right now.
Danish. The housing market is not as insane as stockholm or oslo but its still really up there. Selling what i have soon except the apartment i live in now which i could life in for the rest of my life if be so
are you fucking retarded? what place doesn't do background checks on employees. i hope all you lying cheats get caught, become homeless, and get murdered by a methhead
Someones a bit angry...
Is it because some people with the balls to lie snd cheat have accomplished more than you ever will
>the balls to lie snd cheat
lel that doesn't take balls, you're just an edgy faggot that hasn't grown up. and i'm a a successful physicist with no need to be an amoral cunt to make it in life
>Successful
>On Veeky Forums
Yeah stop LARPing and go out for a moment
Don't be mad.
He is clever than you.
Lel
You sound like a next level loser.
Pic related (portrait of the successful physicist)
>NEETs that will probably end up killing themselves
how does it feel to know your parents probably hate you
Bump
Congratz dude.
I was also elated when I got my Comp Engineering degree. Now Im just a wageslave who hates too many things he shouldn't.