Alright guys I got a juicy one for you all, this is one juicy story about some nigger nigging somewhere
>be me >be working usual shift when some nigger waddles her fat cellulite ass into the door >ohboy.jpg >she hoots and hollers at the latest m3 we got as a trade-in from some dumb nigger faggot (that's a totally different story, some dumbass will link it in the thread like a good little cuck) >turns out she's literally never financed anything important in her entire life because she grew up in a less fortunate family >jewishhands.png >bump her up into the 2016 Kia Rio since I know the tier IV lender is gonna probably want to see a shitty 2016 car they can repo real fast rather than the nice sports car she was eyeing the minute she walked in >turns out she's trying to turn around her credit and is looking for a good opportunity to fix her situation >yeahwhatevernigger.webm >get her on all the worthless packages I get the biggest monthly bonus on and literally get the worst deal I can possibly find from our tier V lender >50% >APR >she doesn't even bat an eyelash as I lie straight to her face that she's gonna be fine just sign the dotted line >anotherone.exe more to come in 4 hours
William Morales
>in 4 hours
James Scott
>4 hours
Tyler Gutierrez
...
Juan Fisher
>almost 1:30 am >7 page paper due at 8 am >LPG post Ill just fail this summer semester who cares
Jonathan Johnson
A for effort
Caleb Bennett
Are you trying to cheat me?
Adrian Howard
>lpg oh my god yes
Jose Cook
I thought Longpost guy finally snappped from dealing with niggers, boomers and parents buying cars for NEETs
Joseph Torres
>LPG samefagging this hard Holy shit, this guy is pathetic.
Thomas Evans
Am I the only one that doesn't think this is a usual LPG thread?
Hudson Roberts
You're a hero to the white race. This post literally brought a tear to mein eye.
Gavin Jackson
that's not LPG's trip. This is fake
Jordan Campbell
yeah, LPGs username is also LongpostGuy with a lowercase p.
t. shit bait desu
Aiden Barnes
Typical longnosejew story
Camden Russell
Faggots
Thomas Morris
ok guys this one's a bit short so buckle up buttercups >old baby boomer walks in just as we're about to close >we're literally putting the coffee away, mopping up the floor, locking down, etc. >when this worthless old crotchety man walks up to me and asks me to send him to the truck section >whowouldhaveguessed.tiff >this old man probably wants to compensate his erectile dysfunction with a shiny new brotruck, but whatever I'll take his cold hard savings, they were gonna rot away to inflation under a mattress anyways >he walks up to the first tundra on the lot and asks to see under the hood >tirekicker.onion >go along with his wild delusions of being a mechanic >he asks to start up the car and also wants to see underneath to check for rust >fuckingboomers.jpg >run my fat North Carolinian ass over to the manager >make up some shitty lie about how this boomer is giving me the run around on this truck and he might want the key >give him the ol winkeroo and go back with tundra key in my sticky cheetos dusted hands (I had a couple of bags after signing that last deal) >he starts it up and immediately claims to hear a belt squeal >telling his hearing is probably going from all the tinnitus he got in the vietnam war or some shit >turns out he was actually a real Vietnam vet and started whispering something about the "ghost tapes" >anyways my great great great great grandpapy was a sex slave for some confederate warriors so I immediately took 20k off the sticker and didn't stop clapping until he drove off the lot always treat your vets right, more coming up
Mason Edwards
Phony. LPG isn't this overtly racist, usually it's hidden behind a modicum of political correctness?
Chase Campbell
I think this clown is salty at lpg for some reason
Brayden Turner
Posting in a lpg bait thread
Tyler Martinez
NOT REAL LPG THIS IS HIS TRIP
Evan Taylor
Holy shit you aren't LPG but keep this coming
Ayden White
>mfw my friend financed a 2005 beetle convertible from a buy here pay here for $12,900 with $2000 down and it had shit wrong with it glove compartment handle broke, interior trim falling off
Ryder Nelson
>people think it's really lpg Good job op
James Williams
>tfw just learned about the ghost tapes today
Hunter Adams
alright guys this is the last one >this happened just before the boomer sales, so it will explain the cheeto dust >this middle class white gentleman saunters into the main lot with what looks to be his fiance >he looks like he's seriously balding despite apparently only having been 21, and he had a full-grown beard but for some reason smelled and acted really feminine >I think he was a real life caricature of a nu-male, but regardless I carry on and introduce myself >he mentions that they came from the dealer down the road and that they signed a shitty deal with them about 2 months back and now have to pay about $600/month for a smart car >turn around and see the worst kept smart car I've ever seen >there was actual shit on the inside of the windows and there was so much trash the hatch wasn't fully closed and was leaking some sort of ooze >I don't know how I didn't notice it, but all of sudden I became aware of this really shitty damp smell that smells like a tub that wasn't drained for a couple of years that had shit maggots festering in it >basically didn't look too good >$600 a month on this literal shitmobile >I should mention at this point that this couple was apparently also experimenting with hinduism at this point, so there were various Sanskrit stickers haphazardly slapped all over the car >I figure I can get about $2 worth of scrap metal out of the car, but I decide to talk to the couple first to see what they're looking for >the numale mentions that they want something affordable since they're planning on adopting some kids, and are looking towards a crossover >at this point I figured I should get those brownie points as soon as possible so I apologize to the numales "gf" that she's barren >turns out she just wanted to raise some niggers like Angelina Jolie only she can't actually afford to >cucked.yeb >move them towards the new Nissan Juke that came on the lot cont.
Isaiah Jackson
edison btfo.
Caleb Hernandez
did i just watch a guy die in that gif
William Sullivan
Are you all literally retarded? LPG's tripcode is >Longpost Guy !!9TEWI1TbGdH OP is just some guy shitting fake stories.
Colton Cox
>immediately start to sell the numale on the state of the art CVT that this baby sports >convince him to go on a test drive and tell him that it's essentially the same sort of system in the Tesla, and that the old patriarchal concept of gears is going to be obsolete >I can literally see the cumstain in his pants get slightly larger, so get him to make an early turn off and begin negotiations as soon as we make it back >turns out they actually have the worst credit I've ever had the displeasure of reading up on >literally nobody picks up their offer, even though I upped it to the brand new 2017 Z package (had to inform him that this was a great new addition to the Z history and that he wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of history) >decide to make a last minute call >get them to move over the this shady buy here pay here I run on the side a bit further down the road >sell the car to myself, and then draw up a new financing plan that is entirely in-house >after convincing his fiance MAry into signing their house as collateral (it was in the family for generations and the numale's father gave him the title as an early wedding present), I remember that there is still the loomobile to deal with >show them my bogus NADA website and convince them that their car is actually worth $-39 and that they would need to pay me a bit extra to take it off their hands (edmunds also works wonder here if you need a quick tip) >as soon as they drive off the lot I take my 40 bucks and went straight to local walmart for some nice bag of tendies and some flaming hot cheetos pic related is the car they got (before I worked on it)
Ayden Gonzalez
Probably. He's brown though so nothing of value was lost
Juan James
i knew something looked off. go fuck yourself OP.
James Edwards
not the real long post guy, move along everybody
archive.4plebs.org/o/thread/15037222/#15037222
Zachary Young
The real LPG would never use the N word. You messed up imposter.
Jayden Edwards
WellMeme'd/10
Ryan Anderson
Fuck you I got so hype after seeing that thumbnail on my phone
Cooper Murphy
Fake Longpost Guy Not even his tripcode
Reported, faggot. LPG is one of the few things that salvages this board from Alphonse
Ethan Stewart
>that pic
How the fuck does something like that happen?
Hunter Baker
Ususally when you remove an avocado pit, you whack it with the edge of the knife and twist it out. This guy was probably drunk/showing off/both and decided to go ninja mode on it
Chase Reyes
You can clearly see the patient has tits
Josiah Adams
The real LPG's trip starts with !!9TE
Owen Long
Big ol man tits
Asher Hughes
I like this LPG more desu can we keep him
Ayden Jackson
Well, he surely was brown after the voltage hit him.
Hunter Cooper
>I immediately took 20k off the sticker and didn't stop clapping until he drove off the lot Top kek, you're a shitty baiter but that was hilarious
John Clark
What are the ghost tapes?
Jason Long
There's a 2013 turbo prez +top package edition here with like, 12k miles for 17k and it's literally spotless inside and out.