Well Veeky Forums let's hear your fuck ups, nigger rigs, and horror stories. Boy do I have one today
>last night, driving my car home
>grinding noise and voltage is funky, must be alternator bearing. Decide to replace tomorrow (i.e. today at my part time at autozone)
>drive through car wash because car was dirty
>get soaked because windows and doors aren't aligned
> power steering return hose damaged by undercarriage wash or maybe scraping
Fast forward to today
>wake up and drive to work
>voltage still fucky
>power steering line completely snaps on freeway
>we Muscle car now
>force the steering and park at work
>order alternator for my car plus power steering lines
>pull old alternator off, test it
>bearings noisy but it's still putting the right voltage out
>try to put on remanfactured one and see if it's better.
>somehow fucking manage to strip threads on reman alternator itself
>completely useless now
>coworker marks it defective and I don't have to pay for it.
> go to change power steering line
>turns out all I need is 3/8 hose and 2 clamps
>new alternator arrives
>test it on stand and it works perfectly
>attempt to install on car
>rocky but eventually goes in
>turn car on
>silent, no power steering leaks =success
>out of nowhere screech comes back
>guess it wasn't all just the alternator
>say fuck it and drive home
Fast forward to later that day
>driving back to work because I forgot my phone charger
>something still screeching under hood when suddenly...
>screeeeeeeeeach POP wub wub wub wub
>voltage going south fast
>temperature rising
>rubber all over engine bay
>look to see whats going on
>fucking pulley below alternator is stuck and not turning, literally chewing my belt.
>1 mile from work, lube belt with WD40 and drive there
>coworkers don't know what that pulley is, system shows no idler pulleys equipped.
>old mexican guy tells me it's a smog pump
>can't order it until tomorrow? Will arrive tomorrow afternoon, fuck that.
>old mexican says to just remove the pulley, get a shorter belt and re route.
>do exactly that, which means removing alternator again to replace belt
>cute waitresses from restaurant in same parking lot as my store come outside since their closed
>engage autism mode because ashamed of my shitbox leaving me stranded in shorts and flip flops
>try to drive across street to finish work their out of sight
>car door latch stuck closed, can't close door
>fix right there in parking lot
All in all I installed the alternator like 50 times, drove without power steering, fixed that, fixed a door latch, all just because I wanted my phone charger.
Installed a manifold from a vtec d16 onto my not vtec engine today. Cut the wiring shielding down a bit to make the wires reach the sensors on the throttle body in their new location, and also ran new hoses from various places for coolant and vac. That's not the rigged part.
Nobody had a gasket for it so I used silicone gasket maker. The middle bottom nut on the intake is impossible to reach and tighten (unless one of you has a trick?) soooo there's not one now. For the throttle I basically bent the shit out of the y8 bracket and looped the cable around a bolt since it was too long. This still only yielded me 75% throttle because of the angle that the cable is at. Intake temp sensor is unplugged right now so the computer reads the intake temp as 188 degrees Centigrade right now... don't know exactly how that is affecting things. Another thing that worries me is that my "LOAD PCT" as my scanner calls it is always at 88% now. I'll get an intake put together and that sensor hooked back up and see if anything changes before I worry though.
I once stripped two of 3 bolts holding my wheel hub on, couldn't get them back off so I said fuck it and welded the fuck out of the bolts. Still holding today.
Your a fuckwit
I nigger rigged my pod filter because I didn't feel like dishing out the extra cash for the pipe. I made the intake pipe and MAF mount from carbon fiber. I'm assuming the epoxy in the carbon tripped out the MAF and it gave me a check engine light so I covered the inside with regular masking tape and its been fine for over a year now.
I also dropped one of the screws for the sensor so there's just a random screw in there now.
>have saab
>balance chain tensioner snapped because gm Q U A L I T Y
>$400 to fix at a shop
>2cheap4that.jpg
>buy all the parts and shit myself
>$150 and change
>start on weekend
>This'll take 5 hours tops!
>20 hours later
>have all this shit back together
>timing is slightly fucked up
>interference engine
>take it to shop to fix that
>$300 plus towing
>mfw I spent more money doing the job myself
>bought a BMW
>?????
>Crashed into house
>buy a thousand dollar 25 yr old Ford from stealership cause dad
>turns out it has more miles than it should, get it down to 600
>friend buys $750 civic
>other friend buys old celica for a couple grand
>another dude has a citroen people carrier
>this other one has a 1.5k bmw from a stealership
>we try a fume-analyzing machine
>civic does 0.5 with no cat
>24 yr old celica does 0.01
>mine does 10
>can't return
maximumregret.exe
won't pass inspection again. I guess I'll sell it losing a couple hundred and learn the lesson, even though everyone bought their cars without testing them beforehand.
How are you so bad with tools that you strip 66% of the fucking bolts you touched?
Don't come near my car or my wife's son's car ever again.
if you're in cali, theres some govt program where you can sell a car that won't pass emissions for like $1000.
To be fair I don't give a fuck about that car anymore, but I was in a rush getting it back together and torquing down the bolts from a bad angle (sitting on the outside of the hub while the bolts are on the back side). Other than that time, I've never stripped a bolt/nut.
>s-sorry senpai
>don't feel bad it's just an early 2000's impala
This is the car I was working on
I was doing an alignment after putting adjustable upper and lower control arms on my Jeep, and used my winch to pull the axle forward to set my caster. It blew everyone's mind.
>Dubs says good luck getting new tires on your shitbox
>matte black trans am
That explains the cute waitress approaching thing, bitch wanted that trailer park dick! Fucking idiot OP, you should have gave it to her
>Camaro
They weren't approaching, they got off work and just sat outside texting near my car, probably waiting for their boyfriends
>want to look at filter cause i never checked it
>filter housing completely destroyed by dumb mechanic who cracked the shit out of it.
>Probably from first owner
>Had to use chipping wedge and mallet to cut plastic to open it
>come into existence
I jacked my Miata up once, but didnt put the jack on right, now I have a shitty dent in my rocker panel
You can barely see the dent tho, which is nice.
Pic related, that was when I fucked up the engine because I had a shitty valve guide, my neighbor who is a master mechanic at precision tune told me I would be fine driving it for a while, so I did, was being a lazy nigger and I forgot to check the oil level in the car when the engine was cold, because nigger, and I burned through enough oil where my engine just fucked up, had a multiple misfire, and essentially raped itself to death. This was April 23rd I think.
I'm still fucking waiting to find a good used low mileage high compression BP4W to stick in her, and it's fucking hard as hell to find for a good price. I'm not paying 2k to the engine Jews. I'm only gonna pay 13k at best.
Talked to a guy in Charlotte tho who fixes miatas, is probably gonna get me an engine for 1000. So we good, he's looking at wrecked cars now.
Reply with "GET ME POWER" to help increase my chances of getting the engine soon. It means a lot.
I got you senpai
GET ME POWER
Not mine but
>looking around used car lot
>chatting with dealer
>walk up to what appears to be a nice looking but stanced car
>ask him why it's nearly 40% KBB price
>he mutters something about "unfortunate accident"
>look around a bit
>realize it's "stanced' because it got sandwiched in a crash
That thing was absolutely fucked. I'm surprised he let it stay on the lot.
The hood was held down by a jumper cable too, kek.
Sankyu
>you need to remove the wheel hub to get new tires
wew lad