Your Biggest Automotive Fuckup

>2 door hatch
>buy keg o beer
>keg o beer resting on hatch window
>hatch window disintegrates at bump
>byeeee $400

>drive car
>not car
>roach

WHY

At least it isn't a 20 year old nip shitbox the the rest of this board. It's the king of offroad trails too unlike ifs nipshit.

>clean out all air filter tubing due to dust and shit
>later start car
>runs for 10 seconds and then makes a fart noise and stalls
>bunch of water seeped past the throttle body and into the engine
>2 months and 3 cans of carb cleaner later it finally shudders to life
pic related mfw it stalled and wouldnt start again

You mean the king of going slowly up rocks and thousands in repairs. Stock jeeps cant do jack shit. Pig fat wide load slow. Good luck navigating a narrow cannal in a jeep. Get a razor or a quad if you wanna trail ride. Maybe you think fireroads are trails though.

>be a new driver
>fancy myself as a good caretaker for my parents car that they let me drive sometimes
>decide to rotate the tires
>rotate them in a circle around the car, instead of correctly, but I didn't know better
>drive to college on monday
>handling quickly degrades
>pull over
>lug nuts were backing off of the studs, causing the wheel to wobble wildly
>probably minutes from the tire falling off of the car
>late for school but of course I jack up the car, and tighten lug nuts and go to school

I was just a dumbass. I probably still am, but not to cars as much.

Where did the jeep touch you?

user pls git gud like me

Scout=God tier

>driving pic related
>it's raining
>dad tells me to be careful when turning
>going around to 2nd exit on roundabout
>go to accelerate out
>NIGHT OF FIRE.JPG
>slam brakes hard and save it

He didn't even care when I told him what happened , just said "told ya so"

>hitting brakes while sliding in wet conditions
You have a long ways to go user

>Working at a Ferrari/Maserati Dealership
>First year doing marketing
>Backing customers Pic Related into the garage
>Busy day, exotic cars parked all along the building in front of garage, including boss' F355 Berlinetta
>IGotThis.xlsx
>Backing while turning at idle with foot on brake
>bad things happen when two objects occupy the same point in space
>clip the rear bumper of boss' Ferrari with front of customers Maserati in the slowest accident physically possible
>scrapes to the bumper of the F355. Headlight, fender and front bumper of GranTurismo are fucked
>Leave the cars right were they are
>Go in and immediate tell the boss that I hit his car. "Oh." is all he says after a long pause
>Get drug tested as standard procedure. Everyone is all, "It happens."
>Damage to the Ferrari literally buffs out. Maserati has $5k in damage. Headlight alone was almost $3k of that

I once started a car I was working on through the window and it crashed into a fence.

Not sure if they told you but almost every dealership has a "garage rash" agreement with a local bodyshop where they won't charge labor for the repair in exchange for referring customer work to that shop

>pig fat
>lighter than Xterra, 4runner, FJ looser, H3 dogshit

>SxS
>greater than $15K
>not having a TJ, which isn't useless 99% of the time and same price or cheaper

Confirmed for shitbox faggot who has never overlanded for a week in remote wilderness. Nice b8 though.

Hey, I have nothing against your god-machine.

should have lubed the locking mechanism m8

he's trolling. or so i hope so.

Did not screw in my diff correctly, it flew out from under my car and hit some other fucker's car (parked).

I was young and shit scared so i just drove off. I feel bad about it every day.

>Literally pakistan

>Go in for MOT
>Fails because previous owned pulled ABS light, all brake lines are rotten and it's leaking oil enough to be a fire hazard
>Ask how much to fix
>Mechanic just goes "ooooh, I dunno mate, I can't really say till it's done. It'll take as long as it takes"
>Translation, "I'm going to masturbate and take coffee breaks while charging you £50/h for the privilege"
>Sell shitbox for £300
>New guy tells me he changed the ABS light then took it to a different garage and it passed with an advisory on the brake lines and oil leak
>tfw I sold my shitbox BMW because I believed the the bastard mechanic

Our detailer repaired the Ferrari. The Ferrari sales manager's brother has a local body shop that most of our work went through. I'm sure they didn't bother to go through insurance.

i bought a camry.

i still own said camry after 8 years.

literally can't get rid of it. I do project cars and i can/want to buy a new car to replace it as my DD, but I can't even justify it. this damn thing won't die.

was it this place, op?

This happened the first time I went on the highway after I got my learner's permit. Turned out the shitty aftermarket turbo scoop hood my dad installed on his 1984 S-10 (which didn't have a turbo) was "hard to open" so he just left it unlatched because the wiring was bad and the battery needed to be charged every weekend. Ended up flipping the hood open at around 45 and then the hood was really hard to open because the arms got bent.

I crash my altis twice..
My car is a zombie now.

>average jeep driver

how did you drive off without a diff?

What's up Abdul?

it happens

>driving my boss in brand new w140 s600
>its a bit longer trip and boss cant afford to not get there
>because of the reason above, his brother has checked brakes, sparks, fluids, everything
>car is new and in top shape
>nothing can possibly go wrong, or can it?
>gets me to drive him since im "the driver"
>driving that beast and getting payed, sure why not
>car is dream, miles better than my 325i
>holly shit its powerful, im scared of it
>get on autobahn, doing 130, speed limit
>its so quiet and the engine is not breaking a sweat
>get on no limit part of autobahn
>boss trusts me completly, he knew i was capable
they say if your passangers can sleep while you drive that means they trust you completly and on few trips that tok up to 10 hours he would sleep
>get to no speed limit
>herewego.bmp
>slowly pressing accelerator, no need to kickdown in this car
>suddendly someone turn off the lights
>there is no sun, there is no road just big black bonnet in front od me
>slam the breaks hard on left lane of freaking aurobahn
>alomost came to standstill and it drops down
>wasnt even close to standstill since i was doing 160ish before slamming the brakes and it lookd like we were standing still while we were still rolling at good speed
>by some miracle only one that was behind me was lorry in far right lane
>bonnet is down and I get the car to the lane for emergency (not sure how it's called, but the one on the right on which you cant drive)
>we cant fucking believe, brand new daimler, wha the fuck?
>turn on hazzard lights and pop the hood
>that thing didnt feel resistant as it should
>we both get out to inspect for damage
>nothing is damaged
>as i calmed a little i recal that it didnt poped all the way it can, didnt even reach maximum open level, but while i was driving it was scary as shit
>press the hood down and its not quite in place
>ffs this wouldnt happen in my e30
cont.

>get back inside and pop it again
>open the hood and looking if there is something damaged that i didnt see
>boss is already on phone calling friend to pick us up and get tow car
>"no i cant see anything, windshield is fine and nothing is broken"
>"double what?"
>"oooohhhhh that"
>at that point i see it myself
>bonnet has some kind of double close machanism
>his buddy said that we should try to close it properly since it porbably wasnt damaged, if we can't, he will get to us with his car, hand it over and wait for tow car
>bonnet is back in, closed all the way
>it looks as it should now
>we try to pull it up, but it seems that it is in place
>we get in car and im slowly accelerating, looking at mirror all the time in case i need to slam brakes again
>a bit scared at first but im confident again after a while
>got the car up to bit under 260kmh
>damn its fast, and after lowering speed from 250+ to 200 it seems so slow
>cruise at 200 range for the rest of trip while feeling like idiot that i didnt see that double close thing
>based e30

>repaint miata
>forget to install all the bolts on the hood latch mechanism
>first highway drive
>wakemeup.jpg

>mounting subwoofer and amplifier in the trunk
>to put the amp somewhere convenient, we drill four screws through the carpet and into the back wall of the trunk (no folding rear seats)
>a few minutes later I smell gas
>remove screws and carpet
>four small streams running out of the gas tank

>top up oil
>get to destination about 8 miles away
>"Must be burning off any drops I spilled"
>forgot to replace oil cap
>spend 10 minutes cleaning oil off the bonnet

forgot pic

tightened the screws with rubber inside and applied body panel glue on the outside. it has been tight ever since, but there's no way I can sell this car now

Not positioning jack under car correctly, denting rocker panel

I'd love to hear some car buying stories to learn from.

>2006, 18yo me, just got license, know nothing about cars, looking to buy my first one after driving my mom's Clio for a while.

>Find pic related online for €1.4k, holy shit already light tuning, cheap af, targa roof, I MUST have it.

>Go look at it alone(Mistake #1)

>Do a quick walkaround, front bumper color doesn't match(Red flag #1), but I love the car.

>Seller and I get in for the test drive, I notice the tunnel running through the car to the back. "Oh is it rear wheel drive?"

>"Nah it's definitely front wheel drive, I can tell you that much, haha" (I write it off as me asking a dumb question, not at the hint at thrashing the car)

cont.

>I want to back out of his driveway, but he has an aftermarket gear knob, so I can't see where the gears are. "Hey, how do you put it in reverse?" Dude looks at me and says "Hmm That's a good question, let me see..." I Press the clutch while he wiggles it left and up "here ya go!" (Red flag #2)

>Go for a test drive, I gotta check out how quick it accelerates. Start running up the gears, and going from 2nd to 3rd the engine redlines. I think "Fuck, did I not let off the gas enough? Such a rookie mistake" (Mistake #2)

>Seller says "So how far did you want to go, my fuel is low.." (Red flag #3) We go around a few blocks without ever going near an Autobahn and head back.

>Brilliant, I can't believe I'm about to buy my first car!

>Get him down to 1.2k, but he also has a sound system with an amp, 2 speakers and a sub, so I buy that too for 200 and we're back to 1.4k (I'm fucking terrible at haggling still). But whatever, he says "I'll let my wife fill out the documents, she's good with words". The final contract includes the wording "Bought as seen" if I translated it correctly, basically no warranty or possibility to return (Red flag #4)

>Fuckin yiss, I drive it home no problem, let it sit for a day to complete the registration and insurance(which is fucking high also) and go test drive on ze autobahn. 200 km/h max neat.

>Notice my reverse gear sometimes doesn't slide in smoothly though. You have to give the engine a blip, let it settle again, then put reverse in. (I thought seller just had a second car and forgot how to put in reverse, but motherfucker didn't want me to notice the trans being shit)

cont.

>Next day autobahn again, but now the car revs unusually high, down on power too.

>It gets worse by the minute, but I manage to get home. At that point it's basically undriveable, redlines in any gear at like 30 km/h.

>I get it to a mechanic, "Yeah bro, your clutch is fried, but that transmission is fucked up too, that's gonna be like 600 for the clutch and another 800 for a used transmission"

>Exactly what I paid for the car.

>Remember it redlining during test drive and me thinking nothing of it

>Call seller, "Yeah buddy, I didn't know about that, but yeah tough luck"

Months later I also had a flat tire and realized there's the wheels use special lock lugnuts, and I didn't have the key, seller's phone shut down at this point.

>Have to drill those things out and replace a good portion of the wheel hub.

I guess the moral of the story is don't be retarded and don't dismiss tiny clues, and if you're dumb like me get the car checked by a mechanic before you buy it.

Man I was an idiot too buying my first car, I gut lucky though as it just needed new axles and wheels

>buying first car
>haggle guy down on 92 euro escort from £75 to £50 cause it was running on 3 cylinders and rusty
>start engine, leave it running with the bonnet up
>this evaporates the moisture in the ignition system
>misfire cured
>get pal at work to do welding for £40
>car is so laughably dangerous for the whole year I owned it

wow

wow
wwoowowowowowoowwwowowowowowowowoww
wowoowowwww00w0w0w00w0w0ww0w0w0w0w0w0w

how did the fucker get in there though

you really fucked up sort of bad, but in the circumstance i'm not sure if I would have done any better.

you deserved it. If you don't trust your mechanic, take your fucking car to some other guy. We don't have a sixth sense to know how much will take to fix something, specially when somebody has already put his hands on it.

But it's a good car.

you got memed

how did you know so little as to not figure out that those were blatant issues with the car?

i wish insurance in the uk was cheaper, you can get a good condition old jap shitbox for like £1k or less and 95% chance it'll run without problems, but it costs like 2x the car annually to insure it.

I hope I can find a shitty jerb and share my parents car or something.

How and why did you sell it

Did you not check the fusebox before hand for the abs ting?

And cheapo aftermarket brakelines are like a hundred or something, you could maybe even make your own out of plastic tubing lal

>years ago
>Thinking I'm king shit mechanic
>Change all the fluids on my own
>Jack car up off the stands
>Clear stands absent mindedly
>Lowering the car
>Hear this huge obvious crunch
>Start panicking and close the valve and start jacking it up
>Look what happened
>Didn't clear one of the jacks all the way
>Huge dent in the unibody underneath
It pains me that I damaged a vehicle in such a retarded way just to save a few seconds of time

>brit
>23
>300hp Audi S2
>800 a year

feels ok-ish mayne

>Rotating tyres.
>Get front wheel off.
>Realise it would be faster popping this corner on a stand and jacking the rear up to do a straight swap rather than raising/lowering and mucking about with the spare like I normally do.
>Get rear corner jacked up.
>Pulling the rear wheel off causes the car to tip off of the stand and land on the rotor.
>Stand gets stuck in the floorpan.
Not my proudest moment.

Not entirely my fault, but...

>Driving down industrial road to drop some stuff off
>It is a really thing road
>There is a truck parking on the other side in front of my work vehicle
>No big deal, I'll just do my ultimate reversing maneuver to wiggle my way out
>Cranking the car parrelel to the other guy's truck when the car stalls
>Didn't notice the steering wheel locked
>Panic and forget where the brake pedal is
>End up bashing my fender into his bumper
>Solid steel bumper, so there is no damage
>My 90s rice box needs a new marker light and fender panel now

Fucking hate myself.

>Front bumper colour doesn't match

if the bumpers are plastic then they age differently quite often

>It's definitely front wheel drive

If you have more than a few cars of driving experience you can tell drive train from a cursory inspection or from just driving it.

>Can't put it in reverse

Common problem on some cars

>Can't tell a slipping clutch/totally fucked tranny

It's super obvious

>Citizen to citizen cash vehicle sale is a red flag

They never have warranties etc, all personal sales are bought as seen unless your country has specific laws against lemons.

How is it only 800 a year

I swear every fucking insurance site I check, it's like 2-3k minimum for a total shitbox, and I'm 22.

How do you normies figure this shit out? Is there some trick I haven't figured.

I traded my V8 swapped RX7 for a N/A porsche 944. It only had 55k miles so I though it was a good idea.

Rx7 was about 400 horsepower and built right. The 944 was a money pit and slow as balls.

Same thing happened minus the retarded tire rotation, used electric impact on my lugs and didnt realize the battery was dying

On my way to work the car starts shaking violently so I pulled over and as I'm coming to a stop the car drops and the rotor is on the rim. I had my jack and other bullshit in the car from working on it so I threw the wheel back on and continued to work

Never again will I use an impact on my lugs

I used to be obsessed with using my torque wrench to tighten the lugs but I got lazy over the years

>screw in diff

.....wot m8?