ITT we post green texts of people who think they know shit about cars but are clearly wrong

ITT we post green texts of people who think they know shit about cars but are clearly wrong.

Or you can just go into literally any thread on Veeky Forums

>be me
>helping friend move
>another person that is helping us fucks up his car
>nothing serious
>friends brother tells him to open hood
>no damage or anything standing out in engine bay
>Its an Acura
>it's an inline 4 with vtec
>friends brother tells him it's his drive shaft and that someone did an engine swap because of extra engine bay space
>also says Acuras don't have vtec
>mfw

Jesus fucking christ

Bumparoni

>Friend buys car.
>No ac.
>Takes it in to the shop as soon as he leaves from the dealer lot.
>Spends $900
>Still no ac.
>Spends months without ac.
>Nobody can figure out what's wrong.

>I come over.
>Tells me problem.
>Fuck with inside controls.
>Pop hood.
>Vacuum lines are swapped around.
>Obvious without moving anything.
>Swap lines.
>Ice cold ac.

He gave me $20 and bought me dinner.

Did you bang

No.

Sometimes the vibe was weird though.

>mechanic who swaps RX8s finds a cheap one for sale
>blown wankel (obviously)
>seller says it's probably the timing gear

>Spends $900
>on A/C diagnostics
>just needed swapped vacuum lines

We really need to start mandating ASE certified technicians or something because this is ridiculous.

>have a know it all friend
>one night were driving around college to go get food
>friend brakes a little too hard before the stop
>know it all friend begins to stand up straight
>"Hey man you shouldn't brake so hard, you could really fuck up your transmission by doing that."
>"uh huh yeah it's true, my uncle does auto body you can fuck up your transmission"

Oy vey

He wanted to give you a brojob.

>be me
>enjoying spirited motorcycle ride
>that one guy
>everytime
>"hay user, you're burning oil"
>"thanks friendo"

it's a 2 stroke

At least he wined and dined you first

>hanging out with girlfriend and her friends
>discussing cars for some reason
>one girl had to special order her hatchback to not have electric windows & locks
>utterly confused looks all around
>girl says her grandfather, a former mechanic, told her electric windows are always the first thing on a car to fail

maybe not the first thing to fail but certainly a fucking nightmare pain when they do

i love my manual windows, wish my 4x4 had them so i didn't have to wind the sunroof shut with an allan key everytime

he's not wrong

shes not wrong

>be me
>first time on Veeky Forums
>notice weebs are super sensitive over the GT-R
>tell them it's a pos
>say it's slower than a corvette
>v6 a shit etc
>come back years later
>same weebs are still here every day
>still on rage campaign against the GM
>they've literally wasted years of their lives here due to my b8s
>it continues to this day
>mfw

power level too dam high

does load control how the compressor runs or something? why would a vacuum line effect the coolness of an a/c.

ive only worked on buildings

>Implying ASE certification means anything

The control knows are run off vacuum in that car, a 2000ish Pontiac Grand am or grand prix (get them confused)

Don't know how exactly it works, never taken one apart before.