Buy stock

>buy stock
>it goes down
>every time

...

>every time
Nice record. Short each time you want to buy

>buy stock that has recently been highly volatile, hoping to get in some nicely timed up and down trades.
>Stock immediately goes sideways and loses all volatility, trading within a 5c range for weeks.

What the fuck, man.

BUY
THE
DIP

let me ask you bro

why would you buy a stock in a stock market that's at historical highs? you are literally buying at the top and asking to be a bag holder

try diversifying and actually reading balance sheets

LOL good one

>sell a stock
>It goes down
>Yes
>It goes up higher than when you sold
>Why

>Sell your stock at a small loss
>IT SHOOTS UP

>buy stock
>forget I own it
>market always goes up
>bretty gool

every mother fucking time

You don't know SHIT about losing money

Don't catch a falling knife

Learn to trade options against your positions

Then don't buy stocks that are going to plummet. Actually, I would recommend you swap the short/long buttons/commands if you are this ass.

BTC : 1CrWnjNCS7ohKuEhFmnzTeFpE5jjRr8h6i

>It's the year 2061
>All investors have completely given up
>Automated stock trading has died out
>One mega investment firm has overtaken all stock trading due to their insane returns and inability to fail
>Their methods are kept secret
>One day, I finally get a job there
>It's amazing, the buildings interior is filled with fine art and expensive furniture
>Several years later, I finally wonder, how do they know what stocks to invest in? These 'stock tips' from the higher ups never seem to fail. Is this insider trading?
>Decide to finally ask my boss
>He chuckles to himself briefly
>"user anon user"
>Confused, I stay silent
>"You seem like a trustworthy guy, here, let me show you."
>He stands up, and we leave the office
>Go down to the parking lot, and we enter his Lamborghini
>We drive for what feels like ages,to a tiny house in the middle of nowhere
>He parks the car and leaves
>"Boss, what is this?"
>"Just follow me"
>I leave the car, and we jump a fence to get into a backyard
>The sound of a ripped designer suit fills the air
>"It's okay, with this, we'll make millions again."
>He crouches down to look into a window to a basement of a house
>Confused, I simply look down there as well
>Down in the basement, a man is sitting, covered in cheeto dust
>He's browsing stocks, taking notes
>Boss pulls out a notebook
>He notes everything this weird man invests in
>After several hours, my legs start burning.
>Boss finally stands up
>I notice him scribble 2 simple words on top of the list of stocks
>"Short list"

Shut up. If he bets on volatility and the volatility disappears, he will lose money. You can't fix it with fancy derivatives or options.

Veeky Forums memes, the greentexts are GETTING STRONGER!!!!

Kek good thing it's only a practice account.

>buy stock
>it goes up
>almost every time

>buy cryptocurrency
>RIGHT BEFORE THE FUCKING DIP

You never know what happens. See Amazon.

>mfw I only buy and hold