Does anyone here actually know anything about cars?

I worked as an apprentice/mechanic for what feels like many years at a dealer. I have my Canadian red-seal so I'm a "licensed" mechanic by definition.

I'm not going to spew bullshit and say I know everything, I occasionally try and help out when someone has an actual problem.

mfw when axle shaft seizes into hub housing.

Yeah, but intricate details only from my own car and some from VAG's. Do all my own maintenance so I end up reading a shit ton about the car, but I can't see myself just reading into something that I don't have specific questions about.

I try to learn, but i always end up on part 6 when i need to be at part 2 or something. I always feel scared working on my car because even though it told me to do a certain thing, i feel like im somehow just gonna fuck it up.

Yeah i do.
Irl i pretend i dont so people dont ask me to work on their cars for free.
Its so annoying.

This

Pretty much this.

You're going to rape that R32 aren't you.

You're an even bigger faggot than before. That says quite a lot.

Anyway, no OP. Nobody here knows shit.

Yeah I know a fair amount about cars. Not as much as our shop foreman but more than our lube techs. I have an AAS degree in automotive + shop experience. Currently prepping for ASE tests

worst part is when they expect you to know fucking everything about their car

>"my hyundai Getz isn't working good!!"
I haven't a fucking clue about any Hyundai. The only two cars I have mechanic tier knowledge on are the EJ25 Subaru Legacy and BMW E31. The former because I own one, the latter because I want to own one but don't want to pay the service bills.

>Does anyone here actually know anything about cars?
No.

Oh come on his shop is nice. I've been to it. He knows what he's doing.

No

Most of the people who post on Veeky Forums have only a superficial appreciation for cars. The bulk (or entirety) of their car knowledge comes from Top Gear and video games. I doubt a good portion of Veeky Forums even owns a car.

I could tell you where the gas cap is on most cars.

ITT most of us lie about our true power level

to be honest the shitposters are probably the ones who know the most desu

Nope, I know fuck all about cars. i did manage to keep my 7 series BMW running all by myself, didn't take it to a shop even once.
Learned a whole lot about old BMWs and the m30 engine, especially how the autotragic transmission works and how it doesn't.

Went from fuck all mechanical experience to pulling apart the engine of my 730 all by myself, armed with a garage worth of tools and an online copy of a service manual.
Now I'm at the point of fantasizing about buying another E32 730 BMW with some broken rocker arms, pulling the head apart from that one and replacing the rockers with some I have left from my old BMW.
I guess some people would rather get rid of a car that has broken lifters, but I consider it a very simple albeit slightly expensive and time consuming procedure, the headgasket isn't the cheapest one you could imagine to get in these things.
The head also weighs a god damned ton, like holy fuck you seriously need 2 people to lift that piece of shit out.

I can't even imagine dealing with a big iron i6 head. That shit must suck. So heavy.

yea, you sound like you haven't dealt with cars for very long. the "oh i can buy it for cheap then fix it" gets fucking old fast, just look for the best example possible and pay for it up front.

Learned the hard way that you should have two people when lifting an iron head out from a car. Also learned the hard way to not lift anything with your back, ever.

Mainly would buy the one with the broken rocker arm to fix it and either keep it as a winter beater or sell it for profit. I mean, I could buy the car for something like 400 bucks, I already have an intact head in my garage, only need a new head gasket that's about 80 bucks from germany.
I could probably sell it for a grand easily to some kid.

is that rust in the bowls?

I know miatas are gay

You know that Kragen? commercial where the fake customers are shouting random noises as to what sound their car is making?

Ive had the misfortune of a friend giving out my number to his stupid tweaker cousin who in turn gave my number out to his tweaker buddies. It was a weeks worth of those idiots calling me trying to get me to do mechanic work for free and making those noises.
I ended up blocking 15 different numbers because they wouldnt leave me alone.
Blocked my friends number too for being a dumbass.

good goy

profit margin ain't there. a head gasket and rocker replace is like a $2000+ job. Don't settle for that 600.

when you know enough about cars its easier to be a disinformation agent than a mentor

Same only with computers.
I pretend to be grandma-tier with electronics so people don't think they can get free tech support from me.

I know enough to consider myself a tinkerer and also to get by in my career as a service advisor.

I also know this board is full of some of the most miserable, pedantic jackasses I've ever come across and I have never seen anyone else put so much effort into trying to put people down, because no matter what you do or say here, you're wrong.

Engine performance and emissions calibration engineer here, so yes?!

I can change my own oil and such.

Videos from youtube are my only education on this subject.

i dont like to toot my own horn but im really good with anything and everything electrical

Same here buddy

Dexcool and probably rust. I cleaned it out don't worry.

Got two heads for cheap from an Impala that had a failed LIM gasket.

I'm still an amateur. I've worked on a few nice cars, though.

Just basic maintenence

Moral of the story: if you want to become mechanically competent, buy the least reliable shitbox you can find, preferably it should already be broken down.

Yea, something about four wheels and a seat? Something like that.

Is this your first day on the internet?

What if it's behind the license plate like a 95 caprice? You'd be screwed unless I told ya!

Professional mechanic of 8 years. Anyone who thinks that means I know Wat kar iz gud or how to work on every motor vehicle ever produced is a fool, though. In fact, anyone who refuses to acknowledge their ignorance on a topic (and there's no one on the planet who isn't ignorant about something to do with motor vehicles) knows nothing.

i try to learn as much as possible but i only started a few months ago, im more intrested in building an engine than anything else. i did alot to my car "new plugs, intake, cams, rotors, breaks, struts, rims and im only going to keep learning. :^]

Semi related story. My girlfriends parents asked me to change the battery on their Chrysler Sebring (forgot the year, early 2000's) and I was like sure.

Open hood. Hmmm. No battery. Look behind trunk panels. No battery. Think maybe its like some BMW/MB and its under the back seat. Take out back seat. No battery.

Actually think to myself "it has to have a battery right" before deciding to trace the ground from the trans... It goes inside the inner fender. Da fawk.

I have to take the tire off, wheel well liner, and change the battery through a little port hole. First time I ever seen THAT

He's not wrong, though. You can literally prove someone totally, completely wrong here but if it's about a Japanese car and you've said you used a 13mm spanner, they're going to come back with about 16 posts of drawn underage girls saying nothing but ">he pretends to know what he's talking about on the internet"

>Glorified go kart

>trying to prove someone wrong
okay senpai :^)))))) xD

>trip fag

I'm not believing a damn thing you say either, faggot.

>correcting people is a bad thing
Then what was your post?

You're not far off.

it was just a shitpost, sorry

apologizing for shitposting
>s-s-sorry sir i w-was trying to be f-funny

Yeah bro, I violated it

what he said
no matter how smart or stupid you are, someone here is going to go out of their way to try to prove you wrong even if the point they're making is the dumbest, most irrelevant shit imaginable, and the best part is that then that person will probably go around feeling like they actually accomplished something.

>truck with fuckhuge wheels
>covered bed
>"I-I was made butthurt"
>"why are you guys so mean"

I can see why

Now that I've done head gaskets on the M30 and M50, I think I could squeeze down the whole process to 4 hours, give or take 15 minutes for breaks and generally fucking around if some of my mates come over to chill.
I have no idea how to price such a repair as it doesn't seem all that bad, at least on the older BMWs.

Wouldn't consider the M30 all that unreliable. Also, it wasn't broken when I got it.

stock size wheels and it takes 10 minutes to take the topper off. but thank you for proving my point.

Riced out my friend's cars while keeping my Dakota and civics running while in high school. Bought a dead 240sx and ressurrected it. I work on lots of datsun's and wrx/sti's currently. I AM known for breaking shit and having to replace it/ghetto fix it. Have my A1, A3, A4, and A8 certs at 21 years old tho so I guess I qualify as a decent mechanic. My knowledge is mostly limited to nissan/datsun, Honda, Toyota, Subaru, and Audi stuff.

>how to price such a repair

See if you can find the book hours, then try to find out the hourly rate at the shop you would use. Multiply and you'll see what you'd be saving.

At least that's how I do it, it's only a rough idea but it seems close to what they estimate... Not necessarily what you'd be charged.

Qualified light vehicle mech + diesel mech here. Some of the retarded answers people give on here make rage sometimes.

>breaks
>rims

Yeah, you have some learning to do.

For the record, if rotors (turning or replacing) aren't something you consider part of replacing brakes, you're probably retarded. They're referred to as "pads and rotors" not brakes and rotors.

As a Mercedes Benz mechanic, I can assure you without a doubt that no.

We have no clue. I've learned that if I smack the rubber spinloops with my ball peen hammer, they make a satisfying bumf bumf noise.

Also, if I swear at the big vibrating metal thing under the hood, the other mechanics leave me alone.

I'll keep you posted as I figure out any more about these "cars"... is that the right term?

Here's my truck on his lift.

while gs400guy is here, should I get an alignment before or after something like shocks or bushings are replaced?

After. Always after.

Why on earth would you ever do the alignment before doing work on things that affect alignment?

Kill yourself.

You can violate the GT-R, I couldn't care less about that pigfat, ugly car, especially one driven by a fag who gets a vanity plate that says "Teemo".

Changed my CV joint today, so maybe.

Speaking of alignments, how much should i be paying for good work? Cause a shop in the city said 30 bucks out the door and that seems fishy since everywhere near me wants 80 to 100 for it.

you gonna love it when her starter gonna broke dude
>I would litteraly punch the guy who design that car

No idea about the US market, but that seems way too cheap. Depending on their setup, and how much you want aligned, it will take around an hour. I don't see how a business can stay afloat with those prices.

Hehe that filename

i can change engine oil on any car am i a pro yet or do i need to learn how to do brakes too before im considered good

if you don't mind me asking, how come you like stance so much?

>buying a bmw
>expecting reliability in any form
>fixing a bmw with broken rocker arms

all my keks.

$79.95

$30 sounds very fishy.

Shit you still post?
Seriously though.
There have been many gifted individuals that have shared their expertise on this forum (piston).
Sure, most are nocarz that slid over here from some underaged board just to pass the time between new posts.
But theres a lot of skilled individuals that spend time here.
If you can filter through the crap, you can find legitimate posts.

Lmao.
Autocorrect on my trip is just too funny.

80-100 seems reasonable, but all dependent on what it needs.
Mine run anywhere from 60-150, camber/caster adjustment varies and in some cases is time consuming. If it's just a front toe, you can find places to do a fair job for around 60 bucks.

I like a lot of different car styles/subcultures
Not so much an avid fan of "stance", more so "bippu" which I'm taking a break from currently