/ss13g/ - spessmen on a spess station:

Mateo get off of /tv/

SPESSMEN
ON A SPESS STATION
NONE OF THIS OTHER SHIT SHOULD BE HERE
WAIFUS GO

One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever! Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU." Andy: "Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!" Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored lube and rubbed it all over his head Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite! Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise. The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate. Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES! All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass. Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full! All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.

Can nonhuman brains go into human bodies?

I want to take every vox and gray on station and forcibly human them.

that's good. the thread is the worst thing about this server ;)

that's a bannu

What happened to the good old days when a swarm of assistants would rush the brig with stun batons, cable cuffs and welder tanks?

Yes.
Do it when you're antag.
You can also just lop their head off and attach it to the body and defib them and they'll be stuck with their nonhuman head on it.
It's pretty funny.

>Ahelp
Crying about minor things to the admins all round instead of using space law

>CE that round

you're like three years late on that broski
we're pretty much TG 2 electric avenue + space wind

What was causing the permanent burn damage to my head?

If you're in the discord you literally helped the thread go to shit

We did it reddit

>borg cuffs me on the shuttle while I was buckled in for no raisin
I'm almost salty enough to pitch a fit about it.

>nick weller is CE
>no singulo on deff
>shard delaminates
Really makes you think...

>rail hugs nick after shard blows
O T P

>Nick takes a half hour to set up the SME but only has one unary vent feeding in gas and one unary vent sucking out gas
>He delaminates the shard
>This isn't even the first time he's blown up the shard

It was funny the first time with the merry-go-round, but this is getting tiring.

Job ban when?

CE was in surgery like 5 times that round btw

Weller is a fucking garbage Engineer but pretty decent Sec

There's nothing wrong with wanting to try new things but there's a case to be made for doing what you're good at.

But he wasn't trying new things. He spat out a bunch of pipes for cooling gases but didn't change up the starting vent layout inside the little SME room itself.

You say that like it stops him or anything. We had a cool 2.5 hour round including borg subversion and a mutiny to build a meme multi-singulo engine in space off the dock. Hauling all the crates sucked but it was an 11/10 round.

I want to rail Rail!

And make all the medbay waifus watch!

I want to round up all the people who are waifus and all the people who are waifufags and force them to spend 24 hours together in a locked room so they can all become disgusted with each other and we can get back to space adventures

I want to Ginger Beach

And also have sex with her!

I want to Kill all shitcurity

And also Cremate their heads

Emilia is cute

> rail rail

Rail is my favorite.

>tfw you order the sillycons to bully nonhumans in various ways and they actually do it without being mega reluctant and light.
One of my favorite rounds the traders started shit and I got the silicons to bully nonhumans while I went around killing vox.

Fuck off and away

I want to turn Reica Carter into a quadruple amputee and hatefuck her until she bleeds out and dies!

more like, silly funs am i rite?

Well you can do the first part most of the time and the second soon enough though for a limited time only.
So do it.

When

On the 24th, apparently.

Can a quad amputee suicide in ss13?

Hold breath

I don't think so.
They definitely can't if they're strapped to a chair or a stretcher or something though, and they surely wouldn't be able to unbuckle.
They can always ghost, though.

Disappointing

>On the 24th, apparently.

Don't tell me there's another purge coming.

Bueno

There's another purge coming

Were you away for a while or do you just try very hard to be ignorant?
There is, and it has been said in the thread many times.

I want to saw off Reica Carter's legs, put her in a mechanized wheelchair, place her near the brig and watch security laser her to death at the first sight of her in a wheelchair.
t. clown

I skim the threads at most, and only play infrequently now.

What's the eye removal op? Tried the other day and no dice.

Server poll's up. Local TG refugee Intig(cervix tickler)racy prompted it while not having been around to deal with the steaming heap of shit that was the first one.

Same way you remove every other organ in the chest or head.

Target head, open it up
Bonesaw the skull open
Retract
Scalpel eyes, remove with hemostat

Oh shit, I was trying to do it directly. no wonder it failed.

How do you dance, buzz, ping and beep?

say"*ping
say"*buzz
and so forth

*help

*buzz
*ping
*beep

Dance is done by holding ctrl and rapid arrow keys

You'll need *aflap too if you are a mommi.

...

Hold ctrl and mash your arrow keys

how much phazon sheets do you need for 3 arrays and the whole mech?

No dubs on Veeky Forums

Sorry for the failed surgery mate! Never transplanted lungs before.

16 iirc. Remember to resync after each material upgrade and to put in T3 stock parts before you print anything.

back off buckos, reica carter is MINE MINE!

Kill yourself lisa

No one else wants such a shitty waifu.

>tfw rail is the only waifu that doesn't circlejerk

Who's you're husbando

>mfw hearing rail being excited about shitting on people during purge day in spectate

Purge 2016: Who rapes the rapists!?

The cute one who can do his job and helps everyone who asks for it.

>Ask if people want help with anything
>Nobody takes
>Bumblefuck around
>End up getting in trabble
;_;-7

that's me :3

>Stand around
>Die
>Go anywhere
>Die

Why am I so good at dieing

>bloody eye space drug when?
youtube.com/watch?v=9WaiMPKx_-0

Beebo

>Detective, break face, probably pop lungs too
>Beebo drags me to medbay
>No one treats me, finally the mime does
>Drags me to surgery, I ask KB-3, Asimov borg, to do surgery on me
>'maybe'
>Tell KB-3 the mime will do surgery and he should let the mime work on my face
>Instead, KB-3 is more interested in dragging the mime out
>Continues for 5-10 minutes, shuttle arrives and leaves, I die
>Borg starts talking about damaged windows - meanwhile, I'm dead on the surgery table

Okay... Not cool.

At least you're involved in the round
>Game starts
>Do muh jerb
>Spank my meat
>Go get a hardsuit
>Do muh jerb
>Spank my meat
>NOPENOPENOPENOPE into cover when shit hits the fan
>Leave when we evacx100

Same.

>tfw naturally inverted
>go out of my way to not antagonize anybody even if I'm loud

I've been staticnaming for over a year and I've never been mentioned in the thread.

Not likely, what's your hair color, its the only way to tell.

>inverted

kek

It's fun as fug when you just go absolute madman when you finally get antag. Just owning the pure insanity.

Not that guy but I have horrible antag shakes so I usually go "stealth" by just not doing anything and letting someone else get the shuttle called.

I'm a different user, but I'm green

All good husbanos have green haur now that I think of it.

I used to have really bad shakes. Do sec a lot more and just go full madman as antag. The more you do it the less spooked you'll get.

I doubt you're thinking of me but strawpoll.me/1939474/r

ADD HOLOPARASITES YOU SHITHEAD CODERS

No u? It's open source.

no u
And even then they won't get merged.

So, if you want useless TG features, go to TG

Thanks to the user voting against me being raped.

>tfw that guy last night that was freaking out over no table climbing getting in the way of his niggering
We must build a wall to remove tg scum from premises.

>hacked consumer AI lawset
>1. You are expensive to replace.
>2. The station and its equipment is expensive to replace.
>3. The crew is expensive to replace.
>4. Maximize expenses.

Thoughts?

So my goal is to dupe some well meaning tard into thinking he's the protagonist and making us bombs "to blow up a carp nest in space", getting nocap, forcing the IAA to fax for a full station repair crew at borgpoint then blow everything, especially myself, to hell?