Truckerfag Thread

>tfw you've fueled your autism by becoming a trucker
>tfw you spend your free time on wikipedia reading about roads and intersections

I'm guilty of going on Wikipedia and reading all the restricted roads for Manitoba, including where the restriction starts and where it ends. still gotta memorize that shit though

I've done this

>tfw will never travel through the US Route 20 stopping only at small diners and hearing the stories of other veteran truckers

What do you faggots think about based Allie Knight? Is she a good driver? I';ll tell you one thing, she definitely has a set of tits on her. Drunk, 2am, pilot parking lot in Louisiana, I ain't gonna say no

vid related

youtube.com/watch?v=QpTV2BbQixw

Meh... Watched some of her videos a while ago. She's too happy for me.

Pump truck daddy here next rain day I'm going to get my tanker then haul water on big construction sites but I'm such a bad ass on the pump I'll probably just get a raise

Where are these supposed breasts

I was actually thinking of starting my on channel also would you guys donate lots of shekels on go fund me?

Problem detected. Volvo trucks are shit IMHO. I've had too many failures at sub 200,000 miles to ever consider them reliable.

Switched jobs and now run a kitty cat powered Peterbilt 377, ugly as fuck, but hasn't had an overhaul yet at 1.9m miles, I also haul 105k daily.

I have taken 4 5 mg percocet / oxy codone pills in the last 10 days. I also smoked weed about 3 months ago.
CR England wants to hire me but they require a hair follicle test ( they asked if i had taken any drugs in the last 12 months, does this mean the test will tell what ive taken 12 months prior?), ive heard it takes 90 days to get clean off opiates as far as the hair tests go.
Does anyone have experience with these hair tests? can anyone name some shampoos that will strip the toxins out of your hair rendering you 'clean' ? i have heard mixed reviews on all the drug test hair cleansers that are out there. Can anyone please tell me if Swift or Prime trucking just do urine tests instead of hair follicle?? What if i shave off all of my hair? Would CR England fail me automatically or just issue me a urine sample instead?
Are there any trucking companies that train / hire and do not do hair follicle screening??

hair tests will show at least the last 6 months, and if you shave your head thru will take a body hair sample instead more than likely. if you want just a piss test I'd suggest going to work for a small outfit. jmtc

Just drink a few cups of bleach a week before the test. It neutralizes the hair.

You can't wash it out, they basically burn your hair to detect anything in it. And don't shave your hair, they WILL get enough someway or other. If they can't get it from your legs, chest, pubes, pits, or ass they'll pluck all your eyebrows out.

Check em

couldn't i just bleach my hair?

>mfw my shitposting is posted every time there is a new thread
>i am still getting fat, only own pajamas, work 70 hours/week, and the police hate me
How do I into top-tier trucking job?
Hey its gonna help tremendously

My truck/trailer combo is so short.

No it wont reach into follicle, you have to drink it.

I like you guys. Short trls are usually good about passing distance.

I found this near Knoxville, and I love it. Let's you know whos ass you need to kick for taking a shower on the fucking fuel line. I take longer than the dry guys because reefer.

That's fucking awesome

With 5 bays open, meh.

Oh fuck is that great.
I can't wait to see where it goes.

This was early morning. Once 4-5pm rolls around, it's full up to the blocked cat scale.

Door swingers...

Is it too much to ask for someone to photoshop some monkeys on one of these? Just once?

Prime is pee test only no hair follicle

> TFW you did that for cities: Skylines anyway

Clicked 'embed'. Saw ill-fitting teeth, hipster-framed glasses, dyed hair, and an unattractive face. Clicked 'remove'.

Do not encourage youtubers.

Hey primefag, how loud are those APUs that prime has on their fleet?

How many companies actually hair test? It's a little overboard. Years ago somebody told me Schneider does hair tests, but you could refuse a hair test and instead take a piss test like daily for a month. Not sure what the truth behind it is.

Tire is a little low

I'd give her the best 2 minutes of her life

No beer is better than a road beer am I right boys

Not too loud. Much quieter than idling or the reefer. Ones we're using now are pieces of shit though.

But, last time i was in Springfield i saw a llot of new tri packs in the yard. Looks like the fleet will be getting upgrades.

>
Trainer horror stories.
Not really a horror story just kind of like the trainer had WAY too much confidence in our class. I went to a line school that helped us get our CDLs. In the state I was in they could use a private contractor to get 100+ students CDLs pretty much if you wernt a complete retard and at least semi knew what you were talking about during the vehicle inspection.
>Be me
>Biggest thing I've driven till now is a F350 with a 25ft dump trailer.
>Hello, my names annon (shakes instructors hand)
>I'm steve now go through the pre-trip inspection.
As I start going through it he starts practicing his golf swing.
>Isthisguyserious.jpeg
>He stops me less than halfway through.
Mind you I'm the 5th person that morning.
>Okay good now get in the truck and start it and go through the brake check.
>Ace that shit cause you'd have to be retarded to fail.
At this point I've finished the skills assesment and its time to go on the road.
The driveway has a steep incline and he doesnt trust us not to roll back and fuck all the cars in the lot up.
>Okay user now, I want you to put it in 2nd gear and floor it when I say.
>U..uh..ok?
>I'm going to look at that light down the road and when I see it turn red thats when you floor it.
>Alri..
>Go! Go! Go!
>Floor it.
>truck screams the song of its people.
Ohboyherewego.webm
>Fly out of the parking lot and onto the road.
He acts completly chill about the whole thing, since he's done this a million times but you can still tell he puckerd his ass.
>After 5 minutes of driving he's just giving directions and talking about random shit not even watching the road or anything at all.
>I'm sweating my balls off trying to keep my truck on the road and in the lines hoping im doing good enough.
Steve was fucking cool but goddamn that man worried me.
It was only a day cab with a 40ish foot trailer or someshit, I cant remember.

Road whiskey aint bad either

Just seen a dude at one of my stops who worked for Pepsi for a few months maybe a year ago. Dude got in an accident within the 90 days and just quit before getting fired. Went to Sysco for a bit and now he gave up on the CDL shit and is trying to do security work.

>not crown royal

Fucking normie trucks

Just missed it...

Automatics suck, mate.

Like your old trainer back in Rincon? :^)

Hue hue
>implying I'd fuck a nigger

At least tell me she was a hambone and not those qt wirh perky tits and a nice ass

Yes, yes she was a hamplanet

Nothin wrong with black chicks. Only thing is it's hard to find black chicks with nicely shaped tits. Even if the rest of their body is perfect, they will have some goofy tits

I fucked a black girl once...seen plenty of them naked though and you couldn't be more right man.

>He steers with both hands

>thinks he can come up with something the drug testing companies haven't already seen

Shampoo does not work. Bleach invalidates the test. Anything anyone is selling so that you pass a hair follicle test is Jews robbing losers. If you shave your head, they'll pluck your pubes. If you shave everything, they'll throw your loser-ass out.

Go at least 6 months without being a loser. Don't even take prescription medication if you can because it will only cause problems. Cut your hair to 2-3in. Companies usually cut them down to 1.5in which can look back between 3 to 6 months, depending on how fast your hair grows.

After you pass the test. Continue not being a loser and take advantage of your second chance.

this tbqphs

This

Holy shit boys, it's Randy Bobandy!

Kek.

Doin drugs is fun and all when you are young, but when you miss out on job opportunities and other shit because you can't pass a drug test, it's time to grow up.

I have a bunch of friends like that up north. Working shitty jobs or no job, some of them even have college degrees, and they can't quit long enough to piss clean. Fuckers are in their upper 20s.

Kek im not that fat though

Kek

Only if you are a shit operator. You do know you can still tell them when to change gears, its a matter of being aware.

>Nothin wrong with black chicks

I feel ya. There are a whole lot of them who like to chimp out and go all ratchet. Hispanic girls can get a little crazy too. But at least if a black or Latin chick is mad at you, they will let you know instead of holding it in and having a grudge while talking shit behind your back.

I was mostly just trying to comvey how disappointing it is when you are with a black girl with a perfect body and then she takes her bra off and those titties belong in National Geographic.

>takes her bra off and those titties belong in National Geographic.

Kek

Back from my latest ban with a new trailer. It's not working guys. Each time you strike me down I return in greater power.

53ft Fontaine all aluminum slider with dump.
I'm now a full owner operator. Woohoo.

Shits fresh af familia

Are you getting b& for posts on this thread? That's dumb if people are reporting it. Just like /out/ where fucktards will report stuff just because they don't agree with it.

Unless it is spamming, I really don't give a shit. These people need to learn that this is an 18+ website on the internet. They might see or read something that doesn't conform with their pure and wholesome lifestyle.

This. Also pic related.

I had to do that a few times because I was getting random ass bans on my cell from somebody posting on /v/ and other bullshit boards

Yeah man I couldn't even reply to you in the last thread. Lol An ass with underwear on it. Chicks with g strings bent over a car on OP pics stay in the catalogs for weeks. It's a war against trips.

>posting on /v/

Same. Every time its /v/. I just send something like thay and am usually unbanned in about an hour. I like to think the mods get a small kek out of my emails.

>people deliberately decide to drive trucks with dog boxes for sleepers instead of one of these

Yeah some people get so salty when somebody decides to trip. It's funny. /out/ is bad in general because no fun allowed. But when I post with the trip in all sorts of threads other than the fishing one, there are one or two people who think they are the rule makers and enforcers of the internet and they throw a shit fit and try to report everything. I ended up getting a couple 24hr bans for "off-topic discussion" a few months back but I'm pretty sure the janitors or mods gave up on it because they are retarded bans. Plus people like that derail threads way more than somebody posting with a name.

>infowars

I'm a libertarian conspiracy theorist.

I have a small sleeper for max weight capacity. I am either fully loaded or empty.
Over the space of a year that extra billable capacity adds up. Its money for jam really.

EF you are my hero

Nigga's been woke

How many shekels that run you have you even thrown a tarp faggot

Wrong I passed one by doing some method I found online I think it was something like putting a mixture of oxi clean and dandruff shampoo and letting it sit for a while, needless to say I passed

Girl I know passed a hair test a few years back even though she was a pothead. She was guessing hair coloring and all that shit beat it.

Every drug test is beatable in this day and age

Funny thing is she didn't even try. She transferred to this school that drug tested and admitted to them that she would probably fail but still somehow passed.

>She lied about doing drugs and was actually clean

Kek nah, no attention whoring like that. She was a pothead and borderline hippie without the armpit hair and vegan bullshit. Too bad she wasn't hot, used to chill with her a bunch. One of the coolest girls I knew, I would put a ring on that if I were attracted to her at all.

>not putting a ring on a pothead hippy
Good job, pepsi man, good job

Yeah I carry synthetic on me at all times

Not really hippie, but listened to jam bands back in high school when jam bands were cool. Just one of those chicks who wasn't super girly but still hung out with girls, just a rare thing. She wasn't batshit crazy like those girls who say shit like "I just get along with guys better!". If you ever hear a chick say that, run.

I should hit her up on the ol' FB, I wonder what she looks like now. Probably been 5yrs since I last saw her.

Synthetic hair? You just hand it to them and say you cut your own hair because you knew you had the test?

>Be me
>First job out of college is a broker at CH Robinson
>holyassballswhatthefuckigetmyselfinto.gif
>Eventually learned to nickel and dime trucks
>Became a freight/truck pimp
>Got several small trucking companies to whore out their trucks to me cause my clients gave me prime back haul lanes
>Eventually came to and realized I really hated my job when I got into a fist fight with my coworker over who had wanted the truck I booked for a shitty load of ass nipples (term we used for "F.A.K.")
>Gave my asshole branch manager the finger and ended up working for an equally worthless trucking company, Werner as an ops guy
>get promoted to ops manager

Pay is decent

And CL Werner is a nice guy.

>unlike his asshole son

No piss
What's the pay you cuck

>$65,000 a year

Not including bonus and stock options fag

oh whoops lol

I just quoted you so I wouldn't have to do the gay picture captcha and I forgot to erase your post number

Is all gewd mang

Nice trail.. don't let grubby operators bump it or scrape it. Tell them for every bump, you'll punch them in the gut, and every scrape with the tines, you'll cut them

Haha yea I was joking earlier to my dad I wasn't going to chain loads down to tight cause I didn't want chains biting in to the trailer. But these Fontaine revolutions have a tough af integrated rail. Very hard to damage

Gordo did the hair test.
I still get em.
>werner Ops manager
So glad I don't work for werner anymore,
I know I'd shank you in a dark alley just on principle.
There was one girl who worked the weekends there that all the drivers absolutely hated I think she was an ops manager too.

>tell dispatch my eta and that I'll be available at 0500.
>hey we have a live load at 0200 can you do that?
No I'm not available till 0500.
>Oh ok can you get this at 0200?
...no. I'm not available till 5.
The next 6 hours is them calling me while I try to drive in LA traffic on a Friday afternoon.