How do I keep cats from climbing up and walking on my car?

How do I keep cats from climbing up and walking on my car?
At best they leave mudprints and smudges (wet car is slippery so Im guessing they scratch the paint some as well doing this), at worst they leave a "present" in a form of doodoo randomly on the roof.
Looked around and saw some advice with cayenne pepper or moth bags, motion sensor-activated ultrasound emitters and fucking electric blankets to zap the smug fuckers. Anyone with experience?

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Put a dog on a pedestal.

Neighbors dogs piss all over my tires, never have cats on my car.

put cat nip in your back yard so that they don't go near the car but instead to your back yard.

I believe they dislike citrus
you can spray your tires or undercarriage with cat repellent sprays

Neighbor puts a little bag of mothballs and a paper towel under her wipers.
Shit seems to work, as weird as it is.

>spray with cat repelant
What is rust

Spill some anti freeze around the car.

Like a circle.

I did that to the entrance of my backyard when the neighbors cat would go and shit there. I 'accidentally' spilled some anti freeze while working on my car, and poor kitty licked it in the night and DIED.

Shoot them.

Alternatively trap them.

Protip, cats are very lean, the best way to prepare them is to bake them in foil. It seals the juices, they can dry out very quickly and lose their tastiness.

ahhah epic dude xd

Lol you think I'm joking.

After failed attempts at grilling them, I dismissed them as a tasty meat. When I told my old boss this, he showed me the proper way and a good marinade.

I fucking love crazy German chefs. He also taught me the best way to prepare armadillo is to soak them in buttermilk overnight.

>Eating armadillo
Yup confirmed for b8.

The funny thing is I'm not baiting.

It all depends on the preparation.

How poor/bad at hunting are you if you have to eat feral cats?
can't you afford hunting tags?

Neither is a factor. High feral cat population led to issues in the neighborhood and there was a massive culling. I don't like to let things go to waste, so we tried grilling them up. It wasn't good.

Skip to years later working in a German restaurant and the conversation came up. He looked at me like I was crazy and said "vat? Cat eez gud." And told me how to do it.

We "acquired" cat and he demonstrated. Eet was gud

I don't feel bad about it. I like cats. But, they breed quickly and spread rabies like crazy.

You are talking to an Australian, we killed 2 million cats this year.

I only care when people brag about killing peoples pets if i am honest, simple rule, if it has a collar let it go, if it doesn't its a dead cat.

throw pepper around your car

Your car is too much of a pussy magnet. You need to trade it for a corolla

> How do I keep cats from climbing
> up and walking on my car?
> At best they leave mudprints
> and smudges (wet car is slippery
> so Im guessing they scratch the
> paint some as well doing this),
> at worst they leave a "present"
> in a form of doodoo randomly
> on the roof.
> Looked around and saw some advice
> with cayenne pepper or moth bags,
> motion sensor-activated ultrasound
> emitters and fucking electric
> blankets to zap the smug fuckers.
> Anyone with experience?

youtube.com/watch?v=uIbkLjjlMV8

Move your car.
The climbing is because cats like high places. Your car is the highest, most easily-climbed thing in the vicinity. The shitting on it is marking territory openly, because your car is a contested space.
Otherwise, get a friend's dog to piss on your driveway regularly, or get lion dung from the zoo to spread around your driveway/garden.

Cats gonna cat, frankly, so if it wants to climb it's gonna climb. They don't scratch the paint because the claws retract (unlike dogs), and they'll usually flee when shouted at.
I don't mind them sitting on my car, so much as trying to sit IN it when I'm loading the back up.

korea plz go.