What is the mechanic/automotive equivalent of "spitting in your food"???

na, you can over tighten it and damage the thread. hand tight is good enough, coz as it heads up the metals gonna expand and tighten anyway

Dropping death fart in customer car right before giving it back to them.

Crossthreading a lug nut so the stud snaps off the next time it's removed.

Adjusting up drum brakes with lips on the drums so that the next poor sucker can't get the damn thing off.

Absolutely wrecking those phillips-head style trim clips.

Filling/topping up the cooling system with tap water.

'Accidentally' spilling oil onto the exhaust manifold.

Leaving battery terminals loose or not cleaning off the corrosion.

Using cheap parts that are bound to fail the moment they go out of warranty.

Using locktight on everything and then doing every single nut and bolt up as tight as you can without snapping shit.

Hitch mechanic making 13$ an hour here; if I don't like a customer:
> i won't torque any of their bolts properly on their hitch, shit falls off I can just blame it on rust or vibrations
>won't put rust proofing on. just impact gun that shit on there and send it on its way.
>don't wrap wiring splices with electrical tape, just crimp and send it on its way. 1 winter of corrosion later they don't have wiring anymore.
>don't put all of the muffler hangers back on depending on the car
>break interior clips where the owner cant see them and don't bother replacing them.
>if they've got an opened case of drinks in the back I'll take one out. water? sure. coke? sure.
one guy pissed me off so badly I snipped his right turn signal cause he told me he was going to Alberta the next day. figured he wouldn't be coming back. haven't seen him since.

also I'm literally covered in dirt all day long, so if someone pisses me off I'll just sit in their car with no seat protection and grind my ass into the seat so the dirt gets real deep in there. white interiors are the best for this. also dirty handprints everywhere are fun.

and before you go all moral bs on me, some of these people are literally fucking scum. one guy yelling at his wife because she booked the install for the wrong day, wanted to loosen all of his lugnuts

Wherever you live sounds like a proper shit hole.

What exactly is it that makes mechanics act like such scum? Is it because they're angry with their poor decisions in life and want to take it out on someone?
Anyway, you should be doing all your own work if you even remotely care about your car.

Never changing fluids.

Bump into everything to determine if you're in a parking spot.

Neutral drop in an automatic

Starting from a stop in 2nd or 3rd in towns because you're too lazy to shift.

Never change the oil filter

Never change the air filter

Always fill with the cheapest gas regardless of whether the car can run it or not.

Never rotate tires

Sell it on Craigslist as a mechanic special with no issues right before everything goes to shit.

it's not that bad, it's people who come in expecting the job to be done to OEM quality when they're taking their car to literally the cheapest place they can.
one guy was bitching about how we run the power wire under his car, why wasn't it run inside the car etc.
I showed him the bill and said "because this is why" and went back to the shop. I think he got the message because he stopped bitching after that.

You sound like a massive douche bag, have you considered killing yourself?

Yes, that is the reason.

t. mechanic

scratching your car while working on it because your too lazy to go grab a matt

>What exactly is it that makes people act like such scum?
They're people.

When they get to hand you the bill

I guess it depends on what workshop you go to - from what I've heard, it seems like the typical American mechanic is a lot more of a dickhead than the usual Australian mechanic, but a lot of it depends on whether you're in a good workshop or not.

The kind of workshop that takes advantage of its customers and does shoddy work is the kind of workshop that either has an idiotic/poor as fuck customer base, or their customers literally have no better option.

In 'straya at least, you can't keep an independent workshop open long if you don't look after your clients, but even then it's difficult to stay afloat economically if you aren't also trying to upsell everything that you possibly can.

I'm pretty content with the workshop I'm in, because the boss cares about making sure his customers come back and are happy with our service, which means me and the other mechanics do our servicing and repairs to the best quality that we can.

So, to answer
>What makes mechanics act like scum?
Shitty customers who make stupid requests or want a job done cheap (which means cutting corners or not doing it properly), and cars that are designed by engineers who have never held a wrench in their life. That's what pisses us off.

Power wire for a sound system? I don't think people really appreciate the effort that goes into hiding all of that wiring.

>What exactly is it that makes mechanics act like such scum?
Because most of their customers are ungrateful scum, that should be obvious.
>you should be doing all your own work if you even remotely care about your car.
Where I'm from you should be letting a certified dealership do all the service if you even remotely care about your money. Nobody here buys a used that car that wasn't maintained professionally with proof of every single service. That's probably part of the reason why our BMWs, Audis and Mercs never break down.

>cars that are designed by engineers who have never held a wrench in their life. That's what pisses us off.

Holy shit, this.

I'm not a mechanic but in my line of work I deal with this issue all of the time. What designers and engineers can draw up on a computer does not make it feasible, let alone inexpensive for the one who has to work on it and the one who ultimately has to pay for it. If X is the desired outcome, despite me giving you options Y & Z which can be done quicker and less expensively, yet still held to the highest workmanship standard, then you have to be prepared to wait for the work to be done and pay for it accordingly.

Cmon everyone gets that treatment. It's just to damn funny

Torquing things with a impact gun

Depends on what things we're talking about, though - a rattle gun makes suspension repairs take a lot less time, and they're the last thing you want to come undone because of a loose bolt.

I will backhand anyone who does up wheel nuts with a rattle gun, though.

fucking up pulling fenders, on all of them

fuck you previous owner

this guy knows

>cars that are designed by engineers who have never held a wrench in their life
I'm an automotive engineer and wrenching was part my uni schedule. 12 weeks of internship as a mechanic was a requirement for being allowed to study, in addition to the 6 months of internship as an engineer. It completely boggles my mind how you can be right, but you are. Then again, when we took an engine apart for class some guy tried to remove the camshafts before the timing chain and nearly catapulted them across the room.

This

>new tires+balancing on a friday
>drive home
>saturday, time for some brakework
>wheelbolts immovable even with 80cm extension arm
>immovable with 450Nm impact gun
>show up 0700 on monday and tell them go get the fucking bolts loose before they got their morning coffee
>"Uhm, it's dangerous to not tighten them that hard!"

Fucking idiots.

When I worked at a tire and lube place my bitchy ass neighbor came in for an oil change. I grabbed a piece of gum before I started., and when I was done driving it out I stuck it under her seat.

Can't you sue them for tightening them too hard? There definitely is such a thing as too tight.

>when we took an engine apart for class some guy tried to remove the camshafts before the timing chain and nearly catapulted them across the room.
Given the number of engineering fuckups I've come across in just my 3 years of apprenticeship, I'm honestly surprised that you guys were even allowed in the same room as a car.

It almost always comes down to a case of 'oh god why didn't they put X in a slightly different spot so that it's possible to get a socket on it' or 'why the fuck is y in the way of z? It could be somewhere else instead'

Also, fuck Torx-plus and whoever came up with it. A large hex bolt (and more recently, a normal torx bolt) have been holding flywheels onto engines without any issue for the past century. There is no need to force us mechanics to buy another special $70 tool that we'll never use on anything else. It's a blatant attempt at pushing new tools for the sole purpose of taking money out of workshops' pockets.

>under her seat
Hehe, you sure showed that bitch. ;^)

You can take torx plus off with normal torx, cant you?

>I'm honestly surprised that you guys were even allowed in the same room as a car.
It was for educational purposes only, nobody would've cared if we seriously broke something, the engine has never seen any fluids. There also was a CL500 the professors sabotaged and had us read the codes and fix it, it has never seen a public road.

How about you change your tyres on a non-nigger shop?
Where I change mine, they always tighten with an impact gun and then torque it with a wrench.

Would cost more than the potential gains.

The rims didn't show any signs of damage either, so I cba to do more than leave a one star review and call them idiots early on a monday morning.

They could break and kill you, I thought you can get millions out of shit like that in America.

The apes where white 50yo guys on the outside, pretty hard to spot.

Yeah so kill the man and his wife, thatll learn em!

no, it's designed specifically so you can't.

Would sue the fuck out of them if I was in america. It was steelies for my winter beater tho, so they won't crack like alloys.

Loctite on stuff that doesn't need it.

Rounding high torque fixings, especially if you just Loctite'd the fucker.

I got a new tire on my spare full size wheel, because i broke my other one in a skid incident. So i go home and take it off to paint it, and it turns out the monkey with the torque wrench rounded off three of those aluminum jacketed type lugs just because they were too lazy and used an oversized socket on their impact

In america, if they break off and you get into and accident as a result, hats the point where we start talking hundreds of thousands or millions, but if an accident hasnt happened yet, they are obligated to fix their damage or theyll get yelped/google reviewed to death

shit like this is why I do all the work on my car, even if it means having to spend more on equipment I'll only use once In my ownership of the car then to pay labor and drop it off at some shop. I would rather struggle with it and do it in a week then let some shitty mechanic even touch my car.

>new tires+balancing on a friday
>saturday, time for some brakework
You are the retard here. Why in the fuck would you get your wheels and tires mounted and balanced just before brake work? The smart play would have been to put your car up on jackstands, then take the wheels and tires down to the tire shop while you are working on the brakes. That way you completely avoid the nig-monkies touching your car and tightening things too tight.

>put car on jackstands and take wheels to the shop using the bus
>working on the car on Friday while working full-time
Not everyone is a NEET with access to 3 cars because they're living with their parents.

A 10% markup on parts and labour.

>MAACO paint job right before selling on CL
>advertise as 'like new'
>asking price +$1,000
>forged maint log for extra credit
You people would shoot me dead.

Why not do the brake work first then?

>only 10%
It takes at least a 50% parts profit percentage to be a successful shop. And a 50% ppp means at least a 100% markup.

Because the shop is closed on Saturday

Can't wait until monday?

shitting in your carburetter

Trackday on Sunday. Not everyone's a slacker with a life that's not going anywhere, some people need to get their shit done and not "dude, just do it next week bro"

Why not the do the brakes the week before?

You're a gigantic piece of shit. I hope your wheel falls off and you get rammed by a semi and get smashed to a pulp.

>take car to gs400guy's shop to have clutch changed on my car because I have no engine lift
>as gs400guy works on my car he starts talking about Veeky Forums and how it's not shit
>I call him a faggot for bringing Veeky Forums IRL
>he stays quiet from there
>he finishes
>I pay him for his service
>drive car at least 40 feet away from his shop
>my car blows up
>I am is kill

>douche
>bag

Not airing your clutch when changing brake fluid. It's a slow death, but it will get you in the end if enough mechanics skip your clutch.

>our BMWs, Audis and Mercs never break down.
what exactly do you have to gain by lying on an anonymous chinese cartoon forum?

Man, I just went through this too lol! We tried changing out the oil from a friend's Lancer and the dealer torqued it to death

Ended up stripping it baka. Why do they that to my friend though?

What do you mean, "Neutral drop in an automatic"?

Can someone fill me in on what's wrong in this picture?

Not doing work they've been paid for I guess

btmp

Revving it in neutral then putting it in drive

Slip a prawn/shrimp through the aircon vents so it slides down into the system behind the dash. it wont start smelling for 3 days so they cant blame you. This kills the car.

Read the text in the pic dumbass.

>tires mounted backwards
>205mm tires stretched onto 9 inch wide rims

Literally no effort at all, you're just useless.

some cars have separate brake/clutch fluid reservoirs though

I studied Mechanical Engineering. We did one practical course which was a week long. It was useful but primarily consisted of maching and welding.
All out automotive knowledge comes from theory and pictures in a book.

There's only a couple guys that know how to wrench. Sure there's the SAE guys but half the work is done by lab techs because the University doesn't want people losing eyeballs.

thats genius

At least they let you do machining and welding.
I did materials engineering and they didn't let us do any welding (machining wasn't on the agenda). Apparently too many kids fucking around and hurting themselves just like in high school so they stopped doing it just before I started. Fucking sucks

rubbing your penis all over the cars paintjob

Summer time is best time. Prawn rots more and they air con is used more. It becomes a brake horn scenario.

youtu.be/5wDw5Lk6VL4

Shit mechanics do.
I'm a mechanic, here shit I do that'll probably piss you off now that you know.

Tighten lugs with an impact wrench- it isn't too terribly difficult not to put the full force of an impact on it. I usually manage about 120ft/lbs, fuck your torque specs, take it to the dealer then you jew.

Lose plastic clips- yep. Those extraneous plastic clips get lost all the time. If there's enough left to hold it on I won't use zip ties, if there isnt....

Call you a retarded driver- because you are. If your brakes aren't lasting as long as I tell you, that's because you need to get the fuck off the damn pedal. If your engine ticks because "muh oil change conspiracy" it isn't my fault, get your damn oil changed. If your tread life goes to shit, stop doing wicked skidz.

Lose bolts- this is a thing. See plastic clips for details. Except instead of zip ties I hunt down spare bolts.

Not torqueing a damn thing- I only torque sensitive components and flimsy rims.

Blaming aftermarket garbage for your problems- No I'm not aligning your stanced car.

Hanging parts- When you tell me to hang parts, I hang parts. When it doesn't fix the problem I'll be more than willing to do an actual diagnosis.

Sending you back to the dealership- that pinhole in your vacuum routing isn't about to be found by me.

You sound like you are terrible at your job

This. I regularly get plans for unmanufacturable components from engineering. My predecessor never even looked at the plans and just built the parts however he wanted. I send the plans back with red ink instead, so now my boss is bitching at me for changing so many things. I explained to him that I just wanted the plans to reflect what's currently being built, and I would be more than happy to unfuck his shit myself for an engineer's salary and benefits.

Not washing your hands after a good shit and massaging the steering wheel.

>Blaming aftermarket garbage for your problems

because its true. i was a mechanic for the better part of 6 years, nearly all of the VQ35 engine alternators for Nissans from Napa that were reman will fuck up again in 5-8 months, guaranteed. we would just keep replacing them for warranty for people

only thing we did dick as a group was any money/change/drugs found under floorboard carpets and seats where theyve been for years is fair game to keep

he means neutral bomb. rev up an automatic in neutral and put it into drive at the same time, you'll do a massive burnout but even one time can fuck up the bands and clutches in the trans. never do them

cars i worked on that were destined for the junkyard or ones that came for a trans swap that had drive but lost reverse i would pull them all the time lol

I took my car to a shop once, and when I picked it up I found a set of jacks in the passenger door panel.

Well there's where the rattle is coming from!

Wow some of you guys are real pieces of shit.. im a truck mechanic and i never do any of that wack shit wtf is wrong you?

Neutral drop here.

For some reason my car doesn't lock you out from moving from n to r but you can't move from d to 3 without hitting the button. I've accidentally shifted into reverse 4 or so times just slightly. Nothing has happened. First time it happened was probably 60k ago.

Bait/10
How many fucking white interiors do you come across?

I would spot a shody paint job. Idiots may fall for it.

Thanks dad

Shitting in your radiator

its not on purpose.
they use airtools because it takes less time.

Ok..

>Takes no effort to run a cable from the battery to the amp, probably thought the fire wall
>Takes no effort to hide wire under interior carpet and plastic
>Takes no effort to mount the amp somewhere un-noticeable (in my case under the seat)
>Takes no effort to install after market head unit
>Takes no effort to hide RCA cables
?????

I don't see how you can argue /no effort/ even if you think it's easy.