/devilish/ general

>Gm v8s blow up 6 miles from the dealership and cut power whenever you try to use it
Roflmao

DEVILISH

...

I pump gas, everyday I bring a water bottle filled with sugar In my pocket and put a little sugar in peoples tanks if they're dicks

>have gotten 3 parkings tickets
>at a university, airport, and parking garage respectivsly
>ripped up 2 of them because fuck the system
>never paid them
>2 years later and I still haven't seen any consequences
>no phone calls, emails, strikes on my driving record, effects on insurance
>now living in another province

Did I get away with it?

Worth noting: parked without paying literally hundreds of times. One of the university parking lots was 8$ a day, but I only got caught once. Then I bought a single ticket, left it on my windshield for 3 semesters, nobody actually read the date on it.

>go to crowded parking lots at malls and airports
>find parking spot
>get out
>walk around and waste other people's time that follow me in their cars

I got a job with the feds and they made me pay a parking ticket from 9 years ago as a condition of me getting the job

Prove it.

>parks friend's miata on low emissions parking spot
INSIDE JOKE DEVILISH

Do you honestly think i'd lie about something that stupid? How the fuck would i prove that anyway?

Post your FBI ID badge.

>single lane
>drive the speed limit

I didn't mean FBI. A lot of federal employees call themselves "feds."

>300k miles in your GM where you can't fold down the sun visor without fucking up the rearview mirror and any electric option failed 280k miles ago

When I was a shithead little kid, I used to pull manhole covers up at night and just throw them in people's front yard. I'm sure I was the cause of quite a few wheel and suspension repairs.

>speed limit is 25
>going 24

I once found a car parked near the 1hour parking only sign by the residential areal near uni that was parked in neutral. Miata with the top down, black ice in the mirror, and a troll face sticker on the bumper. Needless to say I rolled his car on over to the 1 hour parking section on my way to morning lecture.

>being sensible on the road

So devilish.

>little kid
>lifting man hole covers

>pick one

What kind of third world shithole still issues paper parking tickets?

>It's a rhetorical question, we all know it's America

I'm talkin like 13-14 years old. And they aren't that heavy, especially the ones with holes for water to drain through. Just pop them off and drag em into somebody's front yard.

>Prove it.
He doesn't need to prove it because there are lots of jobs that require you to "come clean" as a requirement for employment. Until you clear your record, your employment is held up. This is common enough in corporate employment. My company does it this way. It's all part of the requirement that at the time we hire employees, they are all 100% clean coming in.

Prove it.

>GM anything lasting 300k miles
a GM stone wouldn't last a year if you put it in your garden.

I drop to a lower than necessary gear when passing people on the right when they are in the left lane holding up traffic, Just so it is extra loud.
>Bonus points for windows down
>Combo points for eye contact

>mfw they get over after I pass them

>single lane
>gently press my brake pedal which only lights the brake lights but doesn't cause any braking
>the car me slows down but I'm not
>he accelerates to catch up
>"brake" again
>he drops behind again
>keep doing this
>he looks confused as fuck
>there's a tailback behind him

...

>Single lane
>Drive 10 below speed limits
>someone pass me
> i pass them and go just a bit faster than them

Kek

If you tailgate me on the highway, prepare to be stuck behind me and beside a semi for however long you decide to keep riding my ass.

>schoolbus tailgating me
>throw a plastic bag filled with used sparkplugs out my sunroof
>goes through the windscreen and hits some kids
>bus swerves and hits a light pole
one kid broke his leg trying to get out lol

Dick move tbqh m8

they get a letter in tthe mail

The problem with that is most parking tickets will be like $30 if you pay them within 14 days, or $45-$60 if you pay after that. And by the time you get them in the mail, it is way past the 14 days.

>1 lemon means the engine is bad

My LT1 is at 220,000 miles and still has strong compression. Mostly city miles and has been used for a lot of towing as well.

you get them literally 3 days after in Germany

Bump

>aren't that heavy

Most weigh around 120-150 lbs
The older ones weigh closer to 250 lbs
9/10 need a special hook to lift up even the ones with pick holes

I could probably drag that at 13 but not far, hell I still have trouble with them at 30

t. Water and Sewer worker

Thank you for your service

>Throw can of soda out my window
>Cop tickets me for littering
>Throw the ticket out the window

from the other thread

>be me three months ago
>backing out of a walmart parking lot
>hit and knock off the wing mirror of some prius faggot in the process
>hightail it out of there before anybody manages to get my plate number

Another one

>couple of years back
>drivers license was suspended for a couple of months for dui
>still drove anyways

>things that never happened
You need to smash the spark plug with a hammer not throw the whole thing. Also this works on side windows not the front or back.

wew

Nigga shut the fuck up only the FBI call themselves the feds. You got caught trying to puff up your chest and act like a big shot when you could've jusy said "government employee" or more than likely "post office worker"

T. Weak ass

Depends on the issuing authority. I worked parking enforcement for my college (work study) and they had no enforcement power, other than stopping you from getting transcripts and registering. And that was only if they had your plate from buying a parking pass. They didn't even run unknown plates.

If you weren't such a rotten kid, you'd probably be able to work for Coca Cola now.

>friend gets 70k/year job
>buys brand new corvette to attract women
>will not stop posting about it on jewbook
>send our group chat a picture of a nice corvette convertible I saw
>he gets extremely butt hurt
>will not shut up about how bad the convertible is
>gets new gf 7/10
>knows her for a week And fugs her without a condom on
>blows inside of her
>she now thinks she is pregnant

ISNT IT FUNNY HOW....

>Riced out Mitsubishi pulls up beside me at red light
>rev my bone stock 4 cylinder accord
>he floors it when the light changed
>I turn right

>Floor the car from a stop to the speed limit.

Or

>Play the highway patrol fishing game.

>2AM
>Drunks everywhere
>go buy pineapples from pineapple guy
>3 people walk by
>Guy says "Quit having sex for money" as we're about to leave
>They continue walking down the hill
>start car, no lights
>Pull out of spot and key the car off
>I'm now rolling down the hill nearly silently and with no lights as they walk down the middle of it
>One guy notices and they walk to the side a bit
>other guy starts yelling "Turn on your lights!"
>Throws a little piece of paper (???) at my car
>roll away and kek

>trips

It's for the greater good. I'll look like a douche for everyone's benefit.

dude chill or your moms gonna turn off the internet

I put old parking tickets on my car when I park illegally to fool parking inspectors into thinking I have already been issued an infringement.

Teach me your ways!

I let myself get tailgated in the fast lane where I know there is a fixed speed camera. Once I have pissed off the driver good and propper I move into the other lane while the other driver speeds off in anger and lol as I see the flash

I also bait tailgaters by gearing down instead of breaking, changing lanes at exactly the same time as them when they try to over take then completly ignore the when they drive past

>swerve through lanes without indicating when I'm late for work on the highway
>deliberately cut off econoboxes
>laugh when they struggle to keep up in a fit of road rage
>lose them

Kek. That's funny. Reminds me of my drive to school back in the day.

>busy road goes from 45mph speed limit to 40mph to 30mph within about a mile
>cops always sit and radar on side street a couple blocks from where it goes to 30mph
>at least one morning a week, they set up a trap with a motorcycle cop standing there with the radar gun and he will walk out and make speeders pull over on the side street
>like clockwork, I slow down to 32mph and somebody behind me gets all pissed and impatient, changes into the left lane, speeds up to 15mph over the speed limit
>cop pops out from the side street 2 blocks down
>I heartily kek
Only problem was I would always be in the right lane and the cop standing there with the radar gun would walk out right in front of my fucking car to pull over the car to my left. Like half a dozen times I had to slam on the brakes so I didn't run over the cop.

>pass by two tolls on the way to work
>go to work five days in a week
>don't bother with activating my sunpass
>rack up needlessly large amounts of toll fees

wew lad be careful, the FBI might get you

>pull up to stop light
>in right hand lane
>turn right
>without hitting the turn signal
>graze the curb

M O M ' S G O N N A F R E A K

As parking enforcement, I just ticketed these cars again.

>turn my headlights on during the day

>keep fog lights on all the time, every time

That's a good thing to do, though.
It makes you more visible in traffic.

In fact there are countries, most notably those in Scandinavia, that mandate headlights at all times of the day and at all times of the year.

>driving in countryside at night
>spot car ahead of me in the distance
>turn off all of my car's exterior lights
>catch up to him
>flash my auxiliary high beams and honk my horn
>disappear back into the night if the car doesn't swerve off the road immediately

And a good thing that is! Can't understand why the rest of the planet hasn't catched on.

Not only is that fucking retarded of the road pirate, but illegal in most areas. Should have ran the porker down and sued the department for damages.

When I was a kid my friends and I would pick them up to climb down into the sewers to explore.
Yes they were heavy. But nothing 14 year olds can't move if they really want to.

>Driving on highway
>Pass a long line of semis
>Large hill coming up
>Get in front of semis and slam brakes
>Speed off into the distance as they slow down

Nothing funnier than forcing wagecuck semi drivers to start from gear 1 right as they are about to go up a 9% incline hill for the next mile or two.

so brave. #withher

S A T A N I C
A
T
A
N
I
C

I turn right on reds, when it says no right on red.

...

>ride bike with hi beams on constantly
>wait until dirt road gets paved to do hektic donits
>dump old gas directly into my garden
>hotbox in crowded parking lots
>only work on vehicles at night

Was it a gray Eclipse?

>dudebros almost hit peds going to ihop in a mercedes
>street justice intensifies
>back my car up beside theirs so my driver side is by theirs
>key the entire driver door

fucking kek

How did you drive without your keys though?

>someone tries to pass me
>throw my piss jug at his car

>accessible garbage bin right next to dunkin donuts drive through
>pull up to window
>before cashier can say a word zoom past her, throw garbage into bin and speed off like a madman

>traffic backed up for miles
>drive on shoulder and cut off some truck driver

Literally hours of commuting time cut down

Keyless start button I would assume.

keybangers seem to get people to perk up

kek. can cause traffic buildups behind you tho

>drive down country roads at 2am
>holding the horn the entire time waking up the wagies
>i'm long gone before they can even try to do anything to stop me

I've done this story set off car alarms

Where I live cant fine the same car twice in one day for the same thing.
They would only know if the looked at the ticket so suck a fat one.

>one guy hired to dish out tickets all over parking lot
>sees car with ticket already on it
>knows it wasn't from him on that day. looks at it to confirm
>tickets again

I like to set off car alarms with my exhaust