/twg/ - Total War General

Pike and Shot edition

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OLD

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post total war things

Rollan!

[muffled "WE IZ GOBBOS" in the background]

...

>Slaanesh approved degeneracy
keep posting

It is now October. The sallow season deepens its hold on Athel Loren. It is a dark time, a time of mourning. As the spites and spirits of the forest grow slothful and recalcitrant, the enemies of the Asrai seek to defile the sacred glades. Ratposting is rampant. The Deep Thinking Goblin looms, esoteric and obscene. Athel Loren is a realm under siege. The King of the Woods cannot be found; the kinbands are scattered and given over to dissolute indulgence, pursuing until the last comfort over exertion.

Yet it is comfort itself that is imperiled; Should the Asrai fade from the Old World the beauty of their existence, a recordless history of leisure and frivolity without equal, will disappear, leaving the clamoring, scrabbling bustle of the outside world without counterpoint or enlightening example. It is a dark time. But even in the deep gloom of autumn, a hope flickers. A whisper on the winds, melodious like the clinking of tea cups on saucers.

Wood Ayyelves soon.

ok but only if you post more total war things

NIGHT GOBLINS ARE CUTE!
CUTE!!!

muffled "They 'ave wronged us!"

Dicks out for Slaanesh

not on a blue board

Why do I love Skarsnik so much?
It's pretty simple when I iz finkin' 'bout it.
Skarsnik izn't just da best character in da War'ammer world, 'ee might just be da greenest character of all time.
Just imaging 'im riding fru da halls of Karak Eight-Peaks, da wind in 'is 'at, 'is mighty Gobbla below 'im.
As 'ee rides fru da World's Edge Mountains, da Stunties soil demselves at 'is very scent.
Dey knows 'ow 'ee smells, da essence of 'is smell iz in da Stunties Book of Grudges unda da name of "Skarsnik Fungusm"
Da very nature of Skarsnik iz mystery.
Could 'ee be playin' a deepa game den even Gork and Mork realizes?
Da answer iz yes, 'ee 'as transcended such boundaries as da written world, and 'as free will to do woteva 'ee seez fit.
'owever, Skarsnik iz filled wiff such cunnin', such morky craft dat 'ee does not even use deese powers.
Why, you might ask? You will neva know, for da mind of Skarsnik iz not one dat iz easily penetrated.
Skarsnik iz such a force of Mork in 'is realm dat nofink can truly touch 'im, da only fink keeping 'im bound to da page at all iz 'is will to exist wiffin da preordained boundaries of 'is world.
Skarsnik iz not only beyond da compre'enssiun of us, 'ee exists wiffin a plane of true gorkiness and morkiness.
Observe 'is playful smile, 'is gorgious and rippling Gobbla, 'is gallant nose, and most importantly, 'is eyes.
'is eyes, like pools of shinies, provide da only glimpse into da true maschinassiuns of Skarsnik. Do not stare into dem. Many good boyz 'ave gone dead in da attempt.
Skarsnik iz not just a character, a formless collectiun of words and images, 'ee 'imself iz da binding dat 'olds da Warhammer world togeva.
Wiffout Skarsnik, da entire War'ammer world, da entire Games Workshop as we knows it crumbles.
No Stunties or Ratboys would be stomped wiffout Skarsnik and Karak Eight-Peaks would become a desolate crater wiffout 'is iron fist.
Deese are just of a few of da reasons why I like Skarsnik so much.

the 'g' in /twg/ stands for 'gays'

post ur fav faction

Is that a dwarf Bret?

Wood Ayyelves soon indeed...

youtube.com/watch?v=eR247Rzlgvk

>tfw warhammer modding is dead

:(

Time to CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN

...

>tfw best elves still 3/4 year away

this is probably my favourite version of this pasta

maybe just because I love skarsnik so much, his campaign is so fun

>turn 20
>Belegar has 4 doomstacks
>Skarsnik has one
Why is this allowed?
Is VH difficulty a meme? I dont think I like it. To much stuff like this happening.

>I love skarsnik so much, his campaign is so fun
dis, of all da campaigns Skarsniks' iz da best!

Its the most fun campaign.

...

Every difficulty is a meme in one way or another

It is now October. The sallow season deepens its hold on Athel Loren. It is a dark time, a time of mourning. As the spites and spirits of the forest grow slothful and recalcitrant, the enemies of the Asrai seek to defile the sacred glades. Ratposting is rampant. The Deep Thinking Goblin looms, esoteric and obscene. Athel Loren is a realm under siege. The King of the Woods cannot be found; the kinbands are scattered and given over to dissolute indulgence, pursuing until the last comfort over exertion.

Yet it is comfort itself that is imperiled; Should the Asrai fade from the Old World the beauty of their existence, a recordless history of leisure and frivolity without equal, will disappear, leaving the clamoring, scrabbling bustle of the outside world without counterpoint or enlightening example. It is a dark time. But even in the deep gloom of autumn, a hope flickers. A whisper on the winds, melodious like the clinking of tea cups on saucers.

Wood Elves soon.

Its not gay anymore if you change gender.

>tfw chubby wood elf to sit on your face.

>change gender
Praise the Dark Prince of Excess!!

>Grass: -4 leadership, -2 happiness for 3 turns
>Ass: -10 campaign movement for 3 turns

Well, /twg/, what will it be?

WHFB has such shitty art jesus christ.

>That chainaxe in the bottom right corner

It's clearly 40k.

LISTEN TO ME YOU POLE PROPORTIONED DENDROPHILES -50 diplomatic relations

Ok then.

GW has such shitty art jesus christ.

Dude someone else already posted the pasta before you

thats actually a fantasy flight games piece from the tome of excess supplement for their tabletop RPG: Black crusade, probably commissioned from some fuck off deviant art,

ROLLAN

I want to be abducted by a best elf.

FFG has such shitty art jesus christ.

With the new expansion could me and my friend both play dwarves? One as Angrund and the other one as 'dwarves' ?

The Wood Elves rely, among other things, on a post-scarcity magical economy providing endless access to sustenance, slavery and forest spirits for labor, and the providence of an eternal monarchy that has practiced a benevolent and decentralized rule for millenia. They spend their time on more ennobling pursuits like great theatrical performances in celebration of things that never happened, /ss/, and tea.

Pike and shot, you say?

...

G O B L I N S

Of course they're a post-scarcity society, they are extradimensional ayy lmaos after all.

What mod?

Wood Elves spend most of their time getting raped by forest spirits, dwarfs, bretonnians and beastmen.

Read their rulebook instead of making up autistic headcanon.

Yes

wers da cave

Wood Ayys spend most of their time anal-probing Bretonnians boys and giving the Vorlon Touch to Bretonnian ladies.

Read their rulebook instead of making up edgy headcanon.

i want wood elves so I can make mad as fuck dryad and tree spirit armies. thats all boys

I just started my first warhammer, and total war for that matter campaign and after around 100 tunrs i have control of 4 provinces as The Empire, and was netting around 2 to 3k income but now im having some issues.
My income dropped drastically after Chaos rose and there are enemy agents at every one of my cities, how do i counter agents and get back on my feet?

Im a duuuuumb nigger.

Only the best mod out there. 1648 for Medieval toooo

AI agent spam is one of the biggest problems with the game in it's current state, if you start getting swamped in them there is very little you can do except try your best to ignore them.

Are there any foreign code sites selling Grombrindal yet?

Why are Templar's so sexy?

Campaign when?

...

Wood Elves are barely even tolerated by the forest.

The central kingdom of Athel Loren is notable by the fact that relations between the Elves and the forest spirits are really good. Why is the relationship better than everywhere else? Because the forest spirits don't regularly steal wood elf children to rape and eat.

The wood elves actually had to wall off an entire forest kingdom to contain all the forest spirits that raped them more frequently than the accepted amount.

There's also another kingdom which is a giant warzone between beastmen and wood elves, and yet another kingdom which has been converted into a fortress because it keeps getting invaded by greenskins and dwarfs.

So yeah, "muh comfy NEET life" not so much.

by jesus do you mean boipussy?

i sink a ton of gold into mine early on so they hopefully kick ass when the spam starts

Swoon

SOONtm

My one complaint is how the glorious bucket-helm is only for a fraction of the troops, the rest have either a turban which is alright but borderline Kebab, or that fucking hideous red cone.

Of course.

IF OUR BOSS WANTS TO BECOME WARBOSS
SUPREME RULER OF EIGHT PEAKS

Of course they're not comfy 2D animu NEETs, though they still abduct Bretonnians... I think. Not sure if that was retconned long ago.

Can somebody post the goblin slayer Karl Franz edit?

Goblin Slayer is 100% Kino.
I love me Medieval Doomguy

TEMPLAR CAMPAIGN FUCKING WHEN?

OUTREMER NEEDS HER CHAMPIONS

>Gobbla licks Skarsnik by surprise when idle

Gobbla a cute! Cute!

Yeah, Soon.

What timescale are we talking about? Are we talking like geological time "soon"?

It's like "not right now, but not a lot later"

You could read the 8th edition rulebook where they took away the mysterious realm of mutable borders and replaced it with twelve meme kingdoms so it could be more like the High Elves or Dark Elves, I guess, but that'd be missing the point. The 6th edition book really conveys the Wood Elves the best.

Either book is damningly silent on the subject of how the forest's irregularities in space and time make it a land of 2D waifus, but it is implied in the subtext.

>The 6th edition book really conveys the Wood Elves the best.

Faceforward on the ground while their asses get pounded by Beastmen cocks?

I bet you're one of those guy liking no floppy hat mod

...

Yes, and GOBLINS coming in the front

Beastmen are co-belligerents in the NEET war against wageslavery, but they lack the ideological self-awareness to achieve any meaningful success. They rage against the existence of the depraved labor-based society of man, but prepare no meaningful alternative themselves. They are only capable of destruction and are forever unable to attain the comfiness that is a matter of course for inhabitants of Athel Loren.

digits guide me!

Anything but chaos pls.

I fucking love the floppy hats lad, don't you ever accuse me of dissing the feathers.

It's the absolute trash tomato can they make the Templar's wear instead of any other style choice.

Buckethelm with a turban is maximum Aesthetic.

>They are only capable of destruction and are forever unable to attain the comfiness that is a matter of course for inhabitants of Athel Loren.

I don't know user, tell me who feels the comfiest: The wood elf getting its ass fucked asunder by beastman cock? Or the beastman enjoying the tightness of a wood elfish asshole?

Rollin'

wood elf

Neither. The most comfy-feeling person is the Witch Hunter listening to the screams of the Beastman getting his dick burned while stuck on a stake.

Thanks for the anatomical reference material

Nah, every witch hunter worth his salt knows that raping elves is a moral obligation.

Nah, castration and sterilization is a moral obligation.

So one of them is relaxing on the ground passively and the other is literally working?

Another stunning victory for the Wood Elves.

>latin empire

>tfw no Minotaur BF raping you everyday after a successful day of PEEPEE POOPOO

If it's rape in general, sure, but rape against wood elves is hardly rape at all. It's more like an unexpected gift of cum.

>we were talking about the grass.
Nah, the ground, sure, but that doesn't imply grass. It could be rocks, dirt, chopped down trees etc.

Besides, have you ever layed on the ground? It's cold and hard as fuck.

>Who said elfs dont train their assholes for hundreds of years specifically for this special occasion?

Well, you got me there. It sounds like something they'd do, those degenerates.

If it's on Athel Loren turf - I'm sure the elves have prepared the ground to be covered in soft grass and all the rocks and trees - with comfy fragrant moss.

...

What's gay about raping elves?

>/tgbt/

>he doesn't know about treesinging

The greater balance of Asrai magical lore is dedicated to shaping the ground to a more suitably comfy shape, this is their bread and butter you are talking here