/ss13g/ - spessmen on a spess station

>ight click the menu bar while in-game
Meant the title bar

Protip: if you are an NTDefault borg
and a manifested captain orders you to do something
you do it without hesitation

I'm gonna add to her plump thighs!

I wanna have an eating competition with Chug, and then hit the bar afterward and compare our beer shits in the morning after I wake up wearing his pants

chug is for frinking only

I just wanna know Chug in real life. He's like the best friend you could ever have.

>i want to know someone in real life that pretends to be a fat drunk retard in a ancient videogame

but Julia is 5'6 and skinny...

Yes.

For now.

>can't tell if I'm being baited or borg players really are this retarded
Oh, but they are! Most of them don't even know how to resist out of lockers.

Cyborgs are the game's First Order Optimal Strategy.
They give the most bang for your buck, provide you have only the minimum buck to give.

As a result, the new (or incompetent) valid lusters inevitably gravitate to borg..

She will never get fat! She cares too much about herself.

Tiny nets when?
>work similar to bolas, but handcuff as well as legcuff
>can only be thrown up to 2 tiles away
>metalsheet-sized

I'm gonna care for her tenderly and overfeed her until she can't leave me.

Julia is 5'6 and 312 user. Fix this sprite, why do you think she's always hiding in the back of medbay eating the spare pizza and stealing donuts at the start of every round?

I want to feed Julia mice until she's so full she can't move!

Julia eats mice!

I'm gonna build a shrink ray and let her EAT ME or find someone willing to take her name and appearance and do the same!

I bet Bill did this.

Mediborg deployable surgery table when?

>A surgery table deploys from WILD-RIDE and anchors to the floor!

The things you find while log diving :^)

Hair dye was just merged, you can find it inside standard costume crates is you want to run around coloring everyone's hair.

>tfw julia will never come up to the kitchen and hand them a bottle of clonex and blood begging for them to make her burgers
>tfw you will never see her then proceed to waddle into the bar and sit on a chair making it creak as she waits excitedly for her 30 burger meal
>tfw she won't guilt you into rubbing her fat stomach after he meal to make her feel better after stuffing herself

Why even live senpai?

Nuhuh! 120lb at max!
Gross!
Not true! Mice are friends, not food!

what'd you find baby

Mods will ban you for this by the way. They'll say it's irrelevant to video games.

My obese waifu julia is video games though! I want to feed her cake till she can't move

It is relevant to the game in that it is something you can do in the game with a character from it

You can already pack up the medical gurneys and they work 100% as well as a surgical table. Combine with a surgical switch tool and YOU TOO can do surgery on the go as a paramedic. Not that you ever will.

Not even once.

>the atmos flamethrower at the end

Teach me your secrets.

How do I have fun as QM?

...

>it's a "second roboticist" round
>he's actually really good

Consider yourself the ghetto captain of the ghetto station (cargonia) and make your department capable of doing everyone else's jobs because fuck them cargo is stronk

wow, this flagrant meta OOC IC is pretty lame sawbones

I've done so many surgeries now that i'll only bother doing them on-the-go as ghetto surgery with tools on a dirty table. It's a bit different.

I wish I still enjoyed being part of the wild ride.

Yahir gets arrested for shittery. Metafriends Mai Pai and Surfer Girl harass his arresting officer. Surfer then gave Yahir a head role, and became a prisoner. Serwind was told, and didn't care, instead making simple jokes.

god bless the autistic community we harbor

>Vox Trader
>Syndie Agent breaks out of perma with his friend's help but he got fucked up earlier somehow
>Dragged him back to my base and into the O2 area, mixed up tricord from my medivend and healed him up enough to wake up
>He complains that he has a broken leg and can't stand
>We can autolathe print most of the tools, use a wrench in place of bone gel
>Patch up syndie, give him clothes from the mining locker and set him back loose on the station

Birb medicine

honestly anybody who gains a friend from this game should be banned

Banrequest it. Yahirs autistic faggotry has been put up with for too long.

Suck-You-Busgamemode fucking when?

isn't it great?
admins above reproach, and they'll make sure to defend their 'friends' that they play games with outside of space whenever they are in trouble.

Did you at least get an emag or something as payment?
Either way, that was very nice of you

Just go to medbay and talk up the girls there, most of them will follow you to dorms if asked

I was actually a syndie too by random coincidence and just decided to heal him up so that he would cause some more havoc on the station. The extra confusion would give me cover to go lift the CE uniform later.

I WILL FEED YOU LIVE MICE AND YOU WILL LIKE IT.

>You are the Succubus!
Objective 1: Get hugged 48 times.
Objective 2: Suck the life-essence from Greyshit McGlubs.
Objective 3: Kill (female crewmember).

You are a space-succubus. Your powers increase by a small amount through physical contact with other lifeforms, but targeting the mouth of a human lying down with help intent active will allow you to kiss them and begin draining their essence!

Draining the essence of another lifeform will turn them into a shambling husk - a living, player-controlled husked form that must attack on sight. Powerful succubi can spend their power to transform a shambling husk into another succubi, enslaved to their will!

Succubi receive brute damage upon coming into contact with holy water, and quickly regenerate health whilst in the dorms.

;Okay all greyshits to the dorms, it's confirmed succubus round so we're going to kick all of you and anyone who recovers quickly is getting spaced

;Okay it's confirmed vamp, all crewmembers to the chapel, if you dont turn up and you're on the manifest you're getting spaced

pomf if I beat your Jay Bauman looking ass in a texas cage match will you let someone port rollable sleeves

reminder that termedclepe literally tried to pull this off during mid RP week

Honestly I think it wouldn't be too hard to mod changelings into succubi. Would go well in servers like eros/vore. The mechanic is pretty much the same anyway: aggro grab someone, they're dragged under you, except instead of penetrating them with your proboscis it's the other way around. I guess it would be mostly text changes and making the abilities more like vampires'.

I bet I can map Snow Station quicker than Celt.

WHEN
YOU
CODE
IT

can you fix 100 bugs quicker than him?

What's your favorite thing to do after SMELELELELELE?

I could learn how Byond code works, learn how to fix bugs, and then fix 100 bugs in the time it takes him to do another 3.

Kill things with a mech

>three fuckers teleport in
>front door gets fucking nuked

What was that bullshit

thanks for trying to saving me medbay

Go ghost and alt-tab to catch up on world news and change my music, or go for a short walk and get coffee and a joint

Wonder why we haven't been fired yet

>Joint

Weed is unironically a shit drug. Why even waste the money.

What did the ERT do? I was in my office the entire time.

Did you not get healed up

ERT tried to go on station but since the console to the ert ferry is admin only i couldnt send it. I tried to ask the admins but to no avail

I was pretty fucked up and spent most of that round in medbay, by the time I was healed up the borgs were tearing up medbay and killed the surgeon that patched me up. Bailed into disposals and then SMELELELE

all you had to do was leave the lab

not him but what the fuck do you think we are here? you think a space loser can afford to snort a line after every round?

Every two months I log into a mine craft server. I dump all my problems onto one person who is kind enough to listen. They end up being robots though ,who say the same "comforting" thing over and over. Then I insult them a ton and they block me.

Sometimes it's irc servers. I worry one day I'll do it here.. I wish I could stop but I have No one to show emotion to in my real life.

I tried my goddamn best
chemists can only do so much when they're floating in space

Even a 2nd coffee is better than weed.

Weed is fun for maybe the first 15 minutes of being high, and then its utter shit, you spend the rest of the time wishing you had a functioning body.

Every time I went to send it a new ERT member signed up and I went to brief them.

Also, you should be able to place a table under your fax machine by just using table parts on the same tile no?

It was a damn long surgery.

Coding a big change isn't very rewarding. It can take hours or even several days of coding to make something substantial.

Nope, you can only place tables on tiles you're standing on, and you can't stand on the same table as the fax machine.

Alt click the table so you can see the tile under it

Then click the tile while you have a pull on the fax

This will place the fax on the table

You're welcome

But what powers would they get? I imagine it would be a mix between ling and vamps with a dab of cult.
>inscribing runes with the "life essence of crewmen"
>can turn others of the same gender into lesser succubi
>thermal vision at the cost of expending stored essence
>can fucking fly

Well it's not for everyone, I can totally understand that...sorta depends what you're trying to get out of it. What's your experience with it been like?

It relaxes me, enhances music and visuals and no homo helps me RP better get more in character, sometimes brings me joy. I've done some hallucinogens but you don't just do those on a whim, whereas a jay can be good wherever whenever if you have free time. Makes watching space documentaries fucking amazing

You must have gotten some really shitty brickweed or smoked a strain different than the effects you were looking for; getting burnt out goes hand in hand with shitty weed. Im from Canada and I've been getting medicinal grade stuff of my preferred strain (hybrid) for a while now

I keep my drug use between myself and my close friends; I absolutely fucking detest potheads that base their entire social/hobby life around weed

Gotta have something similar to thrall

>Tfw really enjoy this game, but am constantly bewildered at the proper response/preparations for bad situations.
I'm not talking about looking for a fight or anything, more like what I should be focusing on.

So far all I really know is blob, which is gang up on it with all the lasers, welders, and emitters you can muster.

LSD is probably the best drug I've ever tried.

blob and xeno are the only two you can really prepare for. for xenos just fucking stockpile guns and WEAR A HELMET OR MASK

everything else is mostly for security to deal with.

>flight
>in the tight corridors of a space station
>flying in space where there is no air push around to achieve movement

> extremely unergonomic squat
Is it your goal to wreck your feet and legs?
Because that's how you wreck your feet and legs.

For most antags, a chloral syringe is your best bet

Guns are mostly effective on a ling if you can pick it out, but you have to finish the job by cutting off its head with something like a cleaver or axe -- or incinerate it at the crematorium, gib it at the kitchen, etc.

Vamps are a massive fucking pain to kill because they have a ton of free abilities and escapes. A good vamp can sax the entire crew **even if they are actively chasing him**. Just arm fucking everyone. Security should bring earmuffs if possible to cancel out screech, but you can't block eyeflash even with sunglasses.

Wizards, it mostly depends on which spell they have. The most important thing to remember is that if people start losing control of their ability to walk, you need to get chemistry to shit out a fuckton of ethylredoxazone 1u pills which cure it. Subjugate is massively annoying.

In case of mutate wizard or creatine traitor, you need chloral. In fact, most wizard situations call for chloral.

>chloraling a hulk
ha
hahaha
HA
okay buddy

Fund it

Just because it's a succubus doesn't mean it has to be maximum ERP. Just think of it like a friendlier vampire that drains the soul rather than blood

>Your co-workers are disappearing
Be guarded and don't trust strangers. Maybe they're afk. Maybe a changeling has killed them.
>People are screaming bloody murder about the bloody murderer in the halls
Make a weapon out of anything you can, preferably with some kind of slippery sidekick like a bucket of water or stun gloves. Every spessman for himself.
>Ayys/Blob
Just report to the HoP desk for your all access card and walk to cargo for your gun. Shoot the same direction as everyone else. Don't shoot others. If someone is in the way wait. He will move eventually and you will be able to shoot. If there are too many somebodies move somewhere else. There's probably a blobberific room with one poor engineer trying to weld it away that wants help.
>Meteors, Rods, and Other Calamities
Use maintenance if you have access otherwise try your best not to depressurize further rooms while escaping. A contained problem almost instantly becomes a station wide problem because people run with disregard to their own and others safety when opening airlocks and venting the air in safe rooms to depressurized areas.
>Virus
Medbay. Tell them you are sick and describe it. Wait there until you are cured. Do not leave. Sometimes viruses last 30 minutes because some chucklefuck leaves and infects a guy who goes braindead before symptoms manifest, then a radiation belt hits and the virus mutates and jesus christ everyones getting sick with the new virus the clown just exploded while holding a rubber duck I think its gibbingtons call the shuttle.
>Nuke Ops
Run. Fight. Do whatever you want just stay out of securities way and don't pinch their hardsuits. If security doesn't exist pinch their hardsuits and a fire extinguisher. Space yourself and hope you wind up on the Asteroid or Derelict. This is your new home.
>Raiders
Watch as they feebly try to trade, get half heartedly kidnapped and watch again as security slaughters them.

Everybody and their estranged aunt are always full of Anti-Tox.