/ss13g/

is unban plapatin the new unban 2hotdogs
im okay with this if it is

t. plapatin

t. 2hotdogs

t. cluster

T A B L E M A N

Dumbest race idea yet.

>weighted is RIGGED for two days
>voting for a map other than vox actually works, we get box
>we forget to not vote box at the end
>metaclub

R I G G E D

>join server
>check crew manifest
>no sec or med
>assume they're all dead and round is about to end or something
>spectate
>rounds going perfectly fine

I hecked up.

SMT bus when

New chemical for close quarters that isn't creatine when

Persimmons when

>Grab a jetpack and gps
>Go to map edge
>Diddle it until z-4
>zip over to loosely the NE until you hit the derelict then head over
Clown roid's a joke

>Ignoring unauthorized combat gear construction
Robocop is a double edged sword friend. upload Securimov with purge core freeform today.
Just purge asimov the AI when some tard fucks with the laws

>People used to do it
>It got hit with repeated nerfs into the form it's in today
>The only reason it wasn't turned into some calculus problem you had to do every time was because your god emperor coderbus-sama couldn't be fucked to work the system in and just settled for an additional drift layer
How about you shut the fuck up before you make things even worse???

Because you're a stupid newfaggot?
>Mutagen something to map all the defects in minutes or just inject check every block at 802 to map all the defects in less than 10 minutes with 2 consoles then start racking up the powers
>Use arithrazine to keep radiation low so it's not blasting other blocks
It is worth it as any geneticist that survived murderbones or officer trying to stop some powers shitter can tell you.

He's new here. He was asking stupid shit all day and bitching

Can't. You still get lucky occasionally on blood/fibers/pritns though so it's better than nothing. Especially if sec has declared that they are the law and need something to back up a hit.

You don't need that much time to get one and after you rack up your drill you can get 4-5+ a round. And if you got fucking good so you knew how to id digsites you wouldn't be digging in a house and you'd be digging in a war or a temple instead. Things are different when you have 8 revolvers, a ghetto AEG, a ghetto 40 burn "cap's" laser, and a couple laser rifles. Xenoarch isn't the most amazing but 90% of its "problems" come from what's in between the keyboard and chair.

If you're legitimately researching, have a head fax a stamped supply request to centcomm after you've tested all your valves for the best chance. Otherwise, use the comms console to ask or pray/admin help. If there's no admins you're dicked.

That was removed cause you guys didn't stop the butthurt faggots from winning. They only give -1,-,1, 2(?) emagged maraccas now

The most important part of space adventures is maxing your suit sensors, re-tagging your gps, taking a station bounced radio where you frequently update people so they have an interaction to miss later on and STAY IN YOUR FUCKING CORPSE SO WHEN WE GO TO LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE THAT GOT SPACED WE'LL SEE AND CLONE YOU TOO.
t.Justdon'tgetwebbedbyspiderscauseI'mnotteleportingintodieandsecwillonlygoinextended/vampstended

Hi Sarah Johnson! You cure your Aspergers yet?

Who?

I can't into clown
so instead i helped around

get people to chase you, learn slip fu with your pda, send everyone viruses, steal shoes, beg Honkmother for a clowning spell

Hey all, I just started playing ss13 Tuesday and jesus christ I'm hooked. I went from a retarded Assistant to a retarded Assistant who knew how to hack. I even had a very successful round as a QM. It's amazing how a bunch of space retards can generate a narrative game after game.

Anyways. I do have a few questions. Mostly, how do I gain skill moving forward? The wiki is great but I seem to be at a crossroads of adequate understanding of the controls and pitiful knowledge of advanced mechanics, and this crossroad is a fucking sand trap for advancement. I don't wanna fill up a science spot and fuck something up, but I want to learn how to do more stuff on the station. Nobody in any position of importance will use me as an assistant. I'm tempted to just say "fuck it" and jump right into advanced positions after having read the wiki, but I don't want people to be pissed at me.

TLDR: How the fuck do I gain skill/game mechanics knowledge without bumblefucking my way through jobs I have no Idea how to do?

The thread is pretty infamous by now for vilifying anyone who doesn't do their job perfectly; mostly, you can ignore the thread so long as you're not actively hurting other people.
Practice jobs like science or engineering on high-pop rounds. On low-pop, more is being relied upon fewer people, and you might be asked to set up an engine you don't know about or do research you're still learning.
Everyone bumblefucks through everything their first time around.

Learn to set up your own server, and privately host it.
You'll want to spawn in as a Captain, and learn how to set up power on the station, then practice your jobs in question in peace before testing it out on the station.

Okay, gotcha. Thanks for the advice, I'm gunna try a round as scientist then.

If you can follow a guide, play Scientist and to R+D. There's LITERALLY a guide on the wiki on how to do it perfectly and people STILL fuck it up. Be the good spessman you can be.

Engineering is another good one, but mistakes there can turn into miracles, so I say avoid it if you think you're prone to accidents.

Security and Medbay I don't recommend until you consider yourself better at the game. Security because fucking up can mean the antag/assistant/clown can have your gear, and Medbay is populated by autistic assailed who will throw you out if you don't magically know everything perfectly your first time.

Science has no downsides to being absent or retarded, and it's a good step out of working Cargo/Service/Civilian jobs.

>The thread is pretty infamous by now for vilifying anyone who doesn't do their job perfectly
I'm afraid of playing Med because Yred is an admin now and he is the god of Medbay, and will heavily scrutinize me and possibly permaban or jobban me for not being as powergamer as him and getting the *optimal* cryomix, a full fridge of pills, creatine, and a chloral autoinjector in my pocket, all in less than three minutes at roundstart.

Gotcha. So stay away from sec till I know how to fight? or read a situation? My experience with combat so far has been two guys standing next to each other and whichever one is the aggressor just clicks the other guy and boom its over. I've seen some running fights but those look like clusterfucks.

Also does anyone agree that the line between an annoying clown and a hilarious clown is one of the thinnest in the game?

>you will never ERP with SarahJ
why live

As long as you don't willingly fuck things up for people or mess with the Big Red Buttons (bombs, blowing borgs, releasing plasma) you shouldn't worry about being inadequate

Some people might yell at you but don't let it discourage you. I'd recommend jobs but other people have done that already

It's unfortunate people won't take you in as assistant, I used to love doing that and having a good pupil was one of the best things for me

>be paramedic turned CMO
>shuttle gets called
>virologist gets fucked up by his own catbeast arm blade creation
>start fixing him
>almost completely fixed
>the "willing" test subject escaped
>get fucked up by it while trying to Polyacid it
>fall unconscious and into crit
>Virologist and silicon mostly save me with magic heal tube and some surgery
>they drag me to the shuttle to finish the job
>silicon starts operating on me
>the test subject reappears as a fleshy skeleton with an arm blade
>runs in circles fighting with the silicon in the escape lobby
>at some point became a green catbeast again
>re-enters the shuttle
>runs over a fire igniting itself and me
>the beast falls over
>explodes into a skeleton again
>crew chases it off
>never regain consciousness
10/10 round end. Resident evil costumes when?
>tfw you have to fight with Avast because by default it prevents you from shitposting

I learned the ropes by playing assistant and learning skills by assisting people and doing ghetto projects. Granted I only know how to greytide, medical, and xenobio so far but it's a good way to get the basics down without much being expected of you. You can also change the title of the assistant job to be interns for departments instead to help others know you intend to do more than greytide.

Read the wiki.
Ask yourself questions about what the job is and how it works
Reread the wiki to try and answer them
Look more for things that you couldn't find
Examine your headset and ask those questions over common and dept chat occasionally. You'll eventually get someone who will tutor you.

Just be upfront that you're not experienced and often all you gotta do is just open a door so they get get their stuff and get back to whatever. Don't take all the salt from cranky people hard, they've forgotten we were all new once and that the wiki isn't perfect. It's okay to not be perfect as long as you try to learn and get better.

Don't do heads until you can do the jobs in its department/it affects. All jobs for HoP, security, and silicons lawsets and managing them for the RD specifically

Really don't gloss over the wiki though. Looking at you fucking roboticists. Use your damn cyborg analyzer and fix the broken borgs oh my god.

Shame you don't have a SarahJ to erp with. Maybe I can be your SarahJ tonight in dorms bb

Wait do most people here play on the same server?

Not powergaming wasn't and still isn't bannable. You're only in trouble if you're a chemist and the only thing you make is chloral and mindbreaker you then go drug people with. He's been admin for months and that hasn't been a problem despite all the shitbay's wild rides. Find your goddamn spine kid.

Combat in this game is shit.

The thing to remember is that stuns are gg no re. If you're stunned, you're helpless and at the enemy's control. Another thing to remember is that after attacking, there's a delay before you can do almost anything else. Furthermore, I swear that in heated combat, even when the delay is up, attacks only work after a global timer ticks.

TL;DR maximize the time you can attack while minimizing the chance your opponent can attack you.

A good way to practice is setting up a small area in the bar known as a Rage Cage. Challenge people to death battles there. Do it until you can reliably beat people to a pulp.

What's your ckey

>Slip someone
>They try killing you

Honk, you had what was coming to you.

Stalk a MoMMI or the occasional SME Engineer

This. Stay fed, be careful about gear with slow down or keep a hyperzine coffee cup. Move erratically for easy dodge and if you can actually click your target for melee or lead a ranged targer instead of shooting where they are or spam clicking and you'll do shit like punch an esword syndie or a newb HoS to death. It's a hell of a drug.

Xevonix
Succ my probiscus harder bb

youtube.com/watch?v=JjcNu3WKIM4

Next time I get antag I so gotta stalk a mommi with a box projector.

Mastering the interface and commands is probably the most important thing to start with. After you've done that, all the jobs become much easier and usually all you need is some hands-on experience to get comfortable with it.
Knowing your hotkeys for throwing things, switching hands, radio inputs, how to loot bodies, climb over tables, dump and transfer storage containers, etc. All of these things can and will help you immensely in ss13.

Haven't been around for a few months 'cause work. Is pomf still alive?

>tfw the rioters begin to table each other into the brig lobby and unsecure the rwindow
>tfw it's not code red and I don't have the cuffs to contain this

Yes. He's still disappointed in mean spacemen though

That's exactly what flashbangs are for.

Only got two bangers and 2 cuffs.

If you have your tools you can wrench a couple chairs and lockerweld the rest.

You have your tools, right?

Nigga I'm At work. Don't bring me into this.

Get to dorms, you're scheduled for getting your probiscus polished by the lusty human maid

Alongside the suggestions, go assistant and actually try and ask for tutoring, doesn't hurt.

>tfw an assistant did that once and we spent the round learning to do viro while the station tore itself apart
Maximum comf

>cheeto community

WHICH ONE OF YOU IS IT

Yeah, most of the game talk here applies specifically to the Veeky Forumsstation server/codebase unless otherwise specified.

>be qm
>double agent
>target walks into cargo
>"so its that time, huh"
>proceed to revolver his face in
>other cargo rats me out, bitches
>cap murders me
>become borer
>keep trying to get HoP to murderize his bae
KEEP THE BLOOD GOING. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

>tfw space station 13 turns into Hotline Miami

[04:47:22]ADMIN: HELP: Selenara/(Addyson Houser): Can I arrest the personw ho was an ass to me this round next round? - heard by 1 non-AFK admins.

wew

You are gross man

I still have no idea how they could be so new and bad and still have captain unlocked.

I am from the dota 2 general, what kind of game is this?
you guys always have pretty funny green texts

You roleplay as a spaceman aboard a space station doing their assigned job such as cook, bartender, medical doctor, engine technician. It's basically a chatroom but with less dick sucking.

MY CAR

>tfw no ERP

Go suck butts on flist or whatever's hip

>Cargo tech ratting out there QM
Absolutely subversive.
I find that if you subtly hint your tatorness to your techs they are always cool with it.

cargo is a true family

cargonia stronk

You get new people and immigrants from time to time. People that betray the brotherhood of their dept are the highest scum. If you can't trust your brothers and sisters to take care of each other then what do you have.

Well clearly if you can't trust your brothers and sisters you have violence

>tfw waifuartist will never draw my waifu

Not him but every department I play screws me over sometimes, the only exception being the Sultanate of Cargonia.

Then again, people love to screw me over regardless if I'm an antagonist or not.

Literally just ask, he mostly takes requests.

>wanting shitty art

I don't mean that shitty artist, I mean the based one.

The shitty one?

The one that can't draw well

When will we start banning shitters from head roles for not knowing how silicon laws work?

When
You
Ban
Request
It

Post infographics in each thread to educate them
Make a ban request
Actually play heads instead of being one of those sideline bitch niggas that talk tough until it's time to do real nigga shit.

I thought about it, but I don't really feel like making a forum account just for this kind of shit.
And my ahelps get ignored, so I guess the answer is never.

Someone drew me unprompted within the first week I started playing spess.
>being a mildly successful chaplain after learning the basics
>praising Der Fuhrer and trying to drive out the heathens
>guy comes in
>never really spoke to the guy directly before, but had heard his name around
>tfw the guy hands me the drawing he made of me
Hm, I don't think I've heard his name around in the thread recently. Hope he's alright.

>B-Ban them pliss
>Make a ban request so it can get looked into
>b-but I don't really feel like making a forum account just for this kind of shit.
Kill yourself you limp-wristed numale beta faggot. There's plenty of reasons it could have been missed. Get a ban request up so admins can look at it then headmin appeal if you disagree. Pain does a good job staying on top of all ban requests so it will get looked into if you weren't such a cuck.

This is Veeky Forums in a nutshell
>"wow ban this guy, n-no I won't request it"
>"wow that guy made a ban request, what an autistic metagrudger"
>"FUCKING BAN THEM ALREADY I HAVE MOUNTAINS OF PROOD"

I'm sorry I triggered your autism, but I'd rather continue ahelping it when it happens, then wine in the thread if I get ignored.

10/10. You're gonna make some pretty sick progress that way!

>implying constantly shitposting carshalah didn't help him become a better player

Yeah, but we also bullied the everloving fuck out of him too. t.doorcrushsempai

not really you just ran him out of the community like the rest of the newbies then complained our server was dying

But he's still playing senpai

Thread-ly post of a person about to fight his ling doppleganger.

Yahir drew me in my first week playing Space, it was really sweet and I keep the picture, haven't posted it here in a while though.

I really doubt that the same people that ran him out for being irredeemable retarded trash complained about a lack of more Carsh's

>Syndicate janitor flying around in space with a bomb
>Captain having to act as lonecurity, is pretty shit at it
>QM trying to get the captain demoted for arresting them
>R&D blows itself up trying to open a lockbox
>Robotics blows up because buttbots
>Double e-sword versus laser fight in the salvage shuttle
>Honk mech fucking everyones day up
>The antag was a pacifist vampire
>Dragonbro is screaming

...

what were antag borers like?

They had no objectives and took control of your body to vomit eggs and be huge assholes
They sucked

They had objectives, and their host had to protect them/do everything they said

What is your favourite map /ss13g/?