So are you fucking shitting your pants yet?

Laugh.

I keep my weed behind the toilet.

The most incriminating thing I carry in my car is a stack of burned Eurobeat CDs.

>driving while under the influence of anything, ever

You guys better not spill my fucking fishing tackle

This is great because you are black.

It doesn't only happen to black peolle it happened to hank hill once I tell ya what

the worse part is when they impound it and tear it apart and YOU have to put it back together and pay the lot fees

Trafficker detected***

>wouldn't give you a jump
What dicks

>You guys better not spill my fucking fishing tackle

They are not obligated to put either a car or house back in together in perfect condition after a search. People have sued and ended up failing to obtain house repair costs when they remove cabinets from walls, tear holes in walls, pull up the carpet and even the hardwood floor boards. They will even pull down the insulation underneath the floor in the crawlspace.

They are not obligated to replace the destroyed food or unplug your sink if it was clogged from all the dumped jars of food poured in there. They also do not have to clean your floors of any mud they track onto your carpet.

I hope they don't find my DANK stash of KUSH bro.

>As i'm not a degenerate I would have nothing to fear.
Your car will be damaged and creaky when you get it back. Your dash might even be loose and of course the interior trim will have stripped pine trees and some clips may be broken. If you laid down dynamat, they may have pried some up and simply tamped it back down.

When they know you have something, they are going to keep searching until they find it. When they find the dime bag and feel like they won, then they won't go as hard on the rest of the car. It has happened to me before and I was just standing there in handcuffs like "ok guys, you got me, let's just go" and I def got out of that one easy.

Honestly. None of that shit better be missing when I get back!

I've been searched once
>spend a summer night at the park with friends, just talking and listening to music, some smoke weed
>around 1am everyone leaves
>I'm sitting in the car, waiting for a guy to piss in the bushes so I can take him home
>police car comes
>"We received noise complaints, license and registration please"
>wut.jpg
>I dunno officer we were just here talking for a while between friends
>shines flaslight in my face, unneeded since we're under a street light
>"you, you look like a junkie. Step out of the car"
>double wut.jpg
>at this point in time I am an overweight white 20 year old, wearing glasses and an Iron Maiden t-shirt
>they make me sprawl over the hood
>have to empty my pockets then one of them pats me all over while the other waits with his fucking gun in hand
>"now we're going to look in your car, it's easier if you just tell us where the stuff is"
>I don't have anything but feel free to look
>they look inside the car, find shit all
>"well you were lucky this time but I'm keeping my eye on you"
>they jump on the car and drive away
>other friend come out of the bushes
>"man, I was lucky they didn't find me, want a joint?"
>resist urge to kill him
>he gifted me a few metal CDs so we're good now
>still unsure the cops were allowed to do that but I don't really care since I'm the cleanest person in the neighbourhood

If you're getting your car searched and you're worried that they'll find your dank illegal drugs then you're a fucking retarded degenerate.
I'd be worried about all the shit they're going to break searching, because they're sure as hell not paying for it.

the most embarrassing stuff they would find are my eurobeat CDs.

stand on my side of the WA-ID border and laugh

>Do you want to explain why you have over 70 half empty water bottles in your car?

Sounds like the kind of thing a Top Jew lawyer can turn into a new car.

> Be spanishfag.
> On the highway going to a concert somewhere
> Five guys in the car, me and my bro in the back seat smoking weed.
> Suddenly we run into a checkpoint.
> Throw the joint out the window, place everything in a tin like pic related, under the drivers seat.
> We are in a queue waiting for the police to look at the car.
> Driver is a complete asshole, he and copilot start singing songs against police shouting and shit.
> Obviously when arrives our turn police is fucking mad at us.
> They even offer him wine and act funny:
> - Hey guys you were the ones shouting?
> - No we were singing.
> - Do you have drugs or anything?
> - No we'll buy them once we get to the place.
> mfw.jpeg
> - OK, everybody get out of the car, we are gonna search everything.

Cont.?

Sorry forgot the pic of the weed tin.

With the weed leaf on it?

Retarded.

>?
Don't pull that shit, you started the story, now finish it so I can go to bed.

>says the guy driving under the influence of Eurobeat

I bet that shit makes you wanna drift like a madman, like, constantly.

>mfw already driving a gutted eg

well i just hope the last owner didn't left anything

Yes. And yes, it was totally retarded but I was 18 and well, retarded.

Ok

> We are all five out of the car.
> I am visibly nervous.
> They search us one by one.
> Driver has nothing, neither copilot.
> Third guy has nothing.
> My bro puts out some lighters, and a police key chain and starts with the story 'my dad is a policeman'.
> Didntwork.eps
> I only have keys, some rolling paper and small packet made out of a paper napkin.
> Police guy makes the 'I won' face: Open this, please.
> I unfold the napkin.
> Its pic related.
> 'Maybe I'll be hungry later, agent'.
> At this point they are crazy mad at us.
> They search the car like crazy, a guy each side.
> They even pull out the spare wheel.
> They find a bag with the working uniform of the copilot, who works in a tirolese-themed fast food chain.
> Situation is getting ridiculous at this point.
> 'Hey, what is this black thing?'
> Heartattack.png
> They have found yet another lighter with a weed leaf painted in it, its like we carried full package last night.
> They don't find the cage (it was upside down under the drivers seat, but honestly its no excuse).
> We leave unmolested and with our drugs in place.
> Illneverbuylotteryagainallluckiswasted.bmp

And this is how I realized that in spain most policemans are flat out retarded.

that dude is clearly british

The greatest feeling ever is when they think they are going to ruin your day and are all happy on their power trip and then they can't find shit and get furious that they can't arrest you and ruin your life.

Scumbag cops that get joy from ruining people's lives.

Computer, begin auto-destruct sequence, authorization Picard 4-7 Alpha Tango

>just be like 'you got me guys' and give them probable cause to bring in a dog and ruin your day

Laugh at how much seman is going to be on their hands.

Whatchu talkin about probable cause? At that point they are already in the car and found the $10 bag of weed.

I DO NOT CONSENT TO SEARCHES
But really, If they don't have a warrant or probable cause they can fuck off.

you drive a miata as well my fellow fatgot

They will make up some probable cause and then arrest you anyway when they find something. You can try and fight them in court but when the cop lies and says "I could smell marijuana" you are screwed either way so have fun. Even if they don't find anything and tear the fuck out of your car, they could still claim you must have been smoking in there earlier because they smelled weed.

They'll find a knife and that's it. Not scared just angry that I'll have to fix all my shit afterwards.

>land of the free

kek
i love america, watching it head into the status of a third world shit tier country is great.

>me
"Oh, you found the 20-lbs of opium poppy seeds, yeah, they're legal."
"Oh, the hexahydromethamphetamine inhalers? $4.95 at wall-market biatch."
"Yeah, the racemic amphetamine pills? Check the prescription, dawg."
"Yep, without red phosphorous, iodine, lithium, or phenylacetone those ephedrine pills are A-okay."
"Check my huge biceps y'all [I'm underweight lol], can't you tell those methylhexamine pills are for my mad gains?"
"What, you *don't* carry 16 bottles of Robitussin liquigels in your car?"
"Yo, look away from that CD labeled 'SEB MegaMix,' that's some serious shit you don't want to confront me about."

That said, I've had my shit searched 5 or 6 times by normal cops. It was always in my STi though...

>and a poster from New Syria appears

I'm not a law breaking retard, so they'll never find anything.

Go away. You're honestly so annoying.

Awww, goooodd doggy! Who's a good boy? Yooouuurreee a goooddd boooyy.

>STi
And no one was surprised

>not doing stupid/illegal shit in your car, which you presumably operate on public roads around other drivers, is somehow worthy of shitposting

???

I sure wasn't surprised. I got pulled over 12-15 times in 6 years in that car. I guess if you're a cop you don't really feel bad about pulling over the white guy with a hood scoop and spoiler.

That's right, fetch the stick boy! Master will pet you when you fetch the stick!

Ok

Sounds like some Superbad tier shit...

Nope

>That's right, fetch the stick boy! Master will pet you when you fetch the stick!
haven't you outgrown your edgy phase yet

Is it a requirement to be retarded to get a trip?

Lmao! (((YOU))) deserve to die!!!

>He has to commit black people crimes to make money and/or has drug problems

No but it sure does help.

Also not giving a fuck what a bunch of kids on a Taiwanese puppet making forum think about us.

>sacking government cock this hard
The LAST thing you should ever think about when deciding to do something is whether or not it's legal. Otherwise, you're just a fucking statist faggot that enjoys the fat government cock up his ass. Yeah, let me just go hunt down all the clips you guys broke and mend all the wires you tore searching for fucking nothing, don't worry about it guys! Have a great day! Land of the free and home of involuntary search and seizure!

Stay calm and stick to the facts. Be polite, don't talk too much, don't interrupt and don't ask if you're being detained.

>Car gets searched because of blood on the boot and door left open on a side road at night
>Come back just in time to see two cops pull out some chain, a baseball bat and filleting knife
>They turn to see me with blood over my hands, holding women's shoes and bloody jeans, emerging from the bushes

That took some fucking explaining. You'd be surprised how unwilling cops are to follow you through dense bush, on the promise of an uninjured woman, after that. Eventually sorted it out, though.

Take picture.

Report any damage to insurance.

>buy parts yourself
>Install parts yourself
>???
>Profit

Idk why, but reminds me of one instance where cops really pissed me off:
>meeting friends at some house party, probably all around 18-19 at the time
>car full of kids in front of us has a trunk full of booze
>some shit happens where there is almost a fight and a bunch of yelling at this house party right when we get there and the cops show up
>dudes from other car just book it and scatter into this residential neighborhood and leave their car there
>everybody else goes inside
>just me and my one friend there by my car and the cops come up and start harassing us
>we haven't been drinking yet, don't have shit on us, so cops can't do shit
>kids that ran, dude left the car unlocked parked in the street and the cops open up the door and start going through it and find booze in the trunk
>start trying to threaten us and tell is to call our friends back there and we tell them to fuck off
>friend I was with is a couple years older and was studying criminal justice and said some shit to the cops going into this car
>they reply with something like "We're the police, we can do what we want"

They were some pain in the ass suburban cops who wanted nothing more than to harass some kids. And one of them was this chick cop who I have dealt with before and she is good looking but a complete cunt on a power trip. Women cops are the worst because they feel like they have something to prove.

>pay $500 deductible and increased insurance rates for making a claim
Ok.

I found plenty of examples of people being compensated for their cars being damaged when they were searched and nothing was found. It's still bullshit that the taxpayers have to foot the bill though. It should really come out of the budget for new cruisers and guns.

Yes, but they also need a warrant or probable cause. So ill just tell the officer no thanks.

>but they also need a warrant or probable cause
It's the FUCKING FBI vapor-brain!!!

I have been searched two times. Both times I had nothing in the car. Both times I respectfully declined a search. Both times this got multiple squad cars/K9 unit called out on me. Both times I've sat on the curb for a half hour with a huge grin while the officers get more and more pissed they can't find anything.

Is it inconvenient that any cop can basically search whenever they want? Extremely. Does that stop me from enjoying them wasting their time? Not in the least.

Not inconvenient at all. I love my random pointless searches. This is the land of the free after all.