/ss13g/ - spessmen on a spess station

Ill be your waifu for 20gp.

Me as well.

>buying your waifu's love

Ill sell you my premium package for 25gp
Comes with unconditional love.
Small fries.
Medium drink.

it was inevitable

Sheeit nigga, small fries and unconditional love for only 25gp?

Yea we might get some try hard "gamer girls" looking for obscure hardcore games to show how gamer and girl they are.
They're usually attention whores and easy to corrupt into ERP'ing.

...

Lets hope everything turns out better than expected and we get some high quality waifus out of this ordeal

>i dont like new players coming and i hope interest in this game continues to wane

Relax, faggots, the featured server was Yog

>i dont like new players coming and i hope interest in this game continues to wane
Nigga what? I just asked if we would get new waifus.
We were all shitters when we first came

We already have that

I'm still a shitter

BOY I SURE LOVE VGSTATION WITH EPIC ADMINS SUCH AS MR"XD GRUS VON KRAMPUS"FOSTER, MR""""PAIN"""", AND 2 FAGGOTS FROM HIPPIE

Give it time. With a little effort you can rise above shitter status.

Tell us why you are upset young man.

Is Garrus getting bored and shitposting again?

fuck off nigger pain

What has you hurtin boy? Tell me who did you wrong?

>mfw I'm not a shitter and never do anything that would result in a ban or admin fuckery

"shitter" is a fucking buzzword you dumb cunt

I'll play your game.

>pic related when I'm not extremely bad at spess and never do anything that would result in a ban or admin fuckery

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU GUZZLE DOWN SWEETS, EATING AS MUCH AS AN ELEPHANT EATS.

>when you've only gotten pinged once to let you know never to let a girl know how you're gonna play with her after you cuff her to a chair

Diabeetus?

>tfw i am a shitter and became headmin

wew

>mfw i'm goodcurity but i know the rules so well i basically grief the greytide without ever getting myself in trouble
>mfw my targets are usually known shitters whose ahelps won't even be taken seriously anyway because they've had so many people ahelp their shittery in the past
>mfw eating my valid salid

...

That video reminded me that I haven't played Cargonia in like 6 months.

youtu.be/OjpLqmoz1iE

(Follow) Andrew Baker exclaims, "I had this dream that I kept dying over and over and over and over again. it was a terrible nightmare!"

>Dizor applies for admin

I hope she gets it, great artist!

Lings need to step up their game

>i don't like new players coming
No, I don't like youtube commenters coming. I especially don't like the idea of a bunch of 12 year old faggots coming around, thinking this will be like Hippie or TG or Yog.
Publicity is bad; This game doesn't need publicity, because publicity means normies, and normies means shitters.

I hope I did okay as pharmacist that round!

Lots of thanks to Science for making those bluespace beakers, they helped me a shit-ton and let me mass produce stuff much easier!

>Dizor
Give me the ckeys of all the real life females and their ingame static names so i can erp and flirt with them without feeling gay please.

>when you're playing sec and doing everything by the book
>when you're making greytide angry by virtue of simply locking them in their cells for the duration of their sentence, only ever interacting with them to taze them
>when the greytide starts screaming bloody murder about 'm-muh lawyer, muh lawyer!'

The best thing about sec is that you don't have to be a shitter to get your giggles.

There is no greater feeling then bullshitting your way out of something you did. Shame I couldn't steal the slime extract, but 3/4 objectives is good enough for me.

>great artist
Does she draw waifus?

>mime
>play the guitar
>some borg doesn't like it and arrest me for "human ear harm"
>can't law 2 it and security locks me up anyway
I play mime to suffer.

>Try to show a new engi the rope
>he gets stuck in medbay for half the round
>already set up power
>nothing is happening so cant teach him how to fix breaches
>try and teach him how to set up an AME
>finally a meteor stor happens
>singuloose immediately
>tell him to wait at escape
>suicidal scientist throws himself into the singulos with a bag of holding
>borg gets tries as well and gets spaced
>almost get the big succ multiple times
>make it back to the shuttle
>new guy no where to be found
>realize after the shuttle left he was waiting in the arrivals shuttle

sorry mate

>tfw you will never be new again

>you will never relive the round that broke your SS13 cherry

>Your first spess waifu will never come back

Hope the silicons that round were happy, I tried to do more than normal because you all seemed nice that shift.
Good to hear they helped, I hope you got to make nanobots with the stuff I gave you too.
Would have gladly gave you one if you stopped by science and asked.

I don't have a home Internet connection so couldn't respond to the guy who said "no admins online" yesterday, but please keep in mind:
If there are no non-AFK admins online, every admin in the Discord is pinged. Even if there are admins online, your ahelp can be read by offline admins.
Just ahelp, it's half a minute on your wnd and a minute at most on our end to check if everything's good.

>you will never again be new enough to be obviously shit yet old enough to know how to plasma flood with a canister and pretend it was an accident

>free weekend for titanfall2
>noobs trying to quickscope while I wallrun and apply shotgun to face
>some guy uploads a video of him playing ss13 and a faggot links to our server in the comment
>new players joining in because of them
I will enjoy every moment of it

>guy starts throwing glass at people "LIKE THAT GUY IN THE VIDEO!!!"
>gets robusted by sec and thrown into permabrig
>goes braindead, never plays SS13 again
why are we worried, again?

I really hope this is bait.

>log in
>who
>THAT guy
>log out

Who is it for you? For me its Freakinabonk

>implying they would even know how to get glass

...

>logging out for anyone
I play security.
I log in for people.
I see a certain named shitter running around I minimize the shit on my second screen and go full ss13.

Code pineapple fanta now

Autism

>when you see other people post about the pineapple fanta but you got none

>being a bitch and avoiding players
It's nice being in medbay and just patching up everyone that comes along. Hell, if you save an antag's life they may reward you by not plasma flooding medbay later.
>save the clown in surgery while security is looking to valid it
>tfw no lube appears near medbay for the rest of the round

Pics plz

>When your waifu got the pineapple fanta

this
try your hardest to get on good terms with the clown as med, because sec hates your guts.

i literally could not find a single image that would encapsulate this so i just posted without one

>Chief Medical Officer: Zachary Hensha

Disgusting

>nigger breaks into science no warning
>trying to get into xenobio
>try to stop him
>starts beating the shit out of me with a toolbox
>disarm and give him a taste of his own nigger medicine.
>im the bad guy all of a sudden because my nigger compatriot was stuck in xenobio.
>go inside to save him after teaching fuckboy a lesson
>no one inside, who woulda thought.
>get blamed for using common sense when there is no sec on board, get stun by same nigger out to revenge me and kills me.

fuck lowpop, if its not murderboning its useless people that that cant fucking handle being told no.

>tfw the HoS sits by and watches you treat someone they robusted a little too hard while arresting so you can't sneak them out through the morgue or surgery after treatment

End yourself you tease.

i could have gone with screaming pepe.... i didn't... have a revitalized Sportacus

>tfw greytider tells you to look in the space law book to try and prove that he was being arrested 4noraisin
>punishment in the book ends up harsher than what the you were going to originally give him

if its asimov and the captain tells the ai
"dont let anyone but heads in"

but then someone wants in

which commands holds priority?

I believe it's the most recent command, but I don't play silicon so I could be wrong

It's a directive, so IIRC, it's overriden by commands. You have to follow all commands from humans. Directives are different, they can't be defined by a human saying 'AI don't do (x)', they have to be defined by laws. Commands are an action, usuaally capable of being done in a few seconds/a minute.

So i've seen this game a thousand times on /v/ and when looking through the Veeky Forums catalog, but despite being interesting never got around to playing it.
Is there a certain server I should go shit up first after reading the wiki a bit? As in one particularly friendly to being new.

>Commands are an action
>Hey borg.
>hello friend, what do you need?
>Law 2 drag and drop this gps onto the salvage shuttle

>be the detective
>grab the last multitool, cause fuck asking for extra access
>Clown cries that I took the last multitool
>Investigating EVA that's been broken into
>Clown comes in, grabs a pair of magboots and chucks them at me
>motherfucker
>Tase his bitch ass and take him to the brig
>All the while, he's crying over comms saying i'm rogue while calling me a faggot, obviously upset
>No officers in the brig and I dont have access to cells, so I decide to dunk his bitch ass while handcuffed
>Waiting for the bwoink, never comes
>mfw

Veeky Forums, polaris and bay are the holy trinity of great servers. All welcoming to newbies.

Eros

I miss Rail.
She's mai waifu

I think that's why the 'doable immediately' clause is there.
Either that or that is a valid command and the poor borgo is fucked.

Stay in your lane and be nice until you figure out how to play. We have a few extreme trubo nerds on our server who have no mercy for anyone, and will likely valid you for no reason. Yahir and Old Man Logan come to mind. Stay away from them.

>rail
>even remotely a good medbay slut

Bay and Polaris are newbie-friendly and have a lot of people who will generally be happy to guide you through your first steps, as will Veeky Forums, although Veeky Forums is less forgiving and will call you retarded if you fuck up.

Don't go to TG or Hippie, they are utter canfcer.

Just don't join the discord and play a human randomname. You'll be fine on VG

>after reading the wiki a bit?
one wiki does not fit all servers just so you know.

Just play assistant or another unimportant job on Veeky Forums to learn the ropes if you're not a faggot and are able to follow the rules. If you can't abide by Veeky Forums's rules, I'm sure you can find another server such as or hippie and look at their wiki.

Just read the rules and never forget them or else you will forever live in the gay baby jail.

>VG
You won't :\

Dear Centcomm.
You better have fucking nixed that parking ticket for all the effort I went through for your retarded manchild

>old shuttle trick to break crates was nerfed
>I trusted a clown

I should remove myself desu

Hey guys, new guy here. I'm kinda digging this game since I also play DF and FTL and SS13 seems a mix of both.
Any tips or guide I should follow before jumping in? Thanks

Literally read the thread.

ss13.moe/wiki/index.php/Rules start here and read the whole wiki.

DF and FTL are great games that share a few concepts? But the really defining feature for SS13 is that you're playing it with a large number of other nincompoops.
Guides, not really, but here are some good guidelines:
1. Read the rules for the server you're playing on. Don't break 'em.
2. Play as Assistant your first time.