/twg/ - Total War General

>waiting patiently

If I'm playing Durthu I'm immediately packing my shit and leaving for Norsca on turn 1

If I'm playing Orion 'Not my King' Beastcuck then I'm hiding in my woods for the entire campaign because I'm a pussy ass bitch faggot who chokes on a billion cocks.

That's literally my review of the game.
So I certainly approve.

;^)

>not fucking elves until they beg for your big thick reikland cock

shiggy diggy senpai

Hold the fuck up. What is going on? Do the bretonnian nobles not know what the fuck goes on in Athel Loren? That elves live next to them and that the giant, impenetrable forest on their border is magical? Are wood elves to Bretonnians as ratmen are to empire in terms of overall awareness?

For me Durthu Is the obvious choice because he is a grand and noble ancient tree spirit, Durthu is genuinely older than Chaos itself, Orion? He looks like a fucking Gor! How are we supposed to annihilate the Poo Poo Pee Pee niggers if we look like them?

G O B L I N S

Why do you think the peasants didn't want to go there?

Nah Bret nobles are just fucking idiots

so a guy in the last thread was posting men o war corsair screens, shame it can't be pirated seemingly, ancient version only!.

Brets are literally the most retarded people next to orcs

thicc

Goblins...

>Bretonnian lords
>Knowing anything about anything at all

lel

The peasants have the excuse of being horribly inbred and unable to leave the 10 acre bit of the land that they were born to farm on and they're somehow still less ignorant than their lords, Bret nobles have their heads deliberately wedged in their own assholes.

>thicc
more like fat

they can't suck elf dick if their heads are stuck there though.

Proofs?

I want to be dominated by a best elf!

REMOVE TAIPING

EVER VICTORIOUS ARE THE QING

Naval combat when?

0.6 torrent when, its even on gog dammit

Same thing.

0.7 a better tho, it adds Estalia and Tilea

Jesus goddamned christ what exactly is keeping these guys afloat? Why hasn't literally any foreign power with competent leaders just come in and taken it all? I can't believe I let these fuckers fight for me in my Empire campaign, they deserve a mercy-genocide and are getting it next time around.

>what exactly is keeping these guys afloat?

An efficient and effective army and magical super knights.

Also, fertile, relatively geographically protected lands.

>tfw Dark elves are unironically my favorite faction
Lokhir LL yes pls.

Because while in reality a small Empire army loaded with pikes and handguns could conquer the entire country, Warhammer runs on rule of cool, so they let it slide

>what exactly is keeping these guys afloat?

Infinite peasants.

I didn't even know, still no torrentzzzzzzz though so the problem stands!

because in bretonnia due to wood elf goddess dickery blackpowder weapons misfire/don't work, preventing the empires conquest

>because in bretonnia due to wood elf goddess dickery blackpowder weapons misfire/don't work, preventing the empires conquest
that's a sheer exaggeration

Fuck these reasons. Fuck 'em all. They should be dead by all rights, and I am actually triggered. When lizardmen are in I'm bringing the Saurus apocalypse and making Bretonnia great again.

>lizardmen
>making anything great

Funny.

It is now Official. Athel Loren is radiant in its resplendence. Delicate young boys cavort for the delight of their mistresses, and the luminescence of sprites and pixies flicker through the enchanted wood. The Sisters of Twilight languorously uncurl from their embrace; panpipes flute a tune of merriment throughout the halls of the summerstrand. The diverting indignities of gorposting and Deep-Thinking Goblins are a receding memory, a windblown fragment of the season past. All Asrai make ready for frolic and improductivity; indolence is the watchword, and none can be found but are feverishly, zealously committed to inactivity.

From the Oak of Ages, the Eternal Queen watches and is warmed by the celebrations of her people. In such a festive air, Orion's rebirth cannot but be imminent; Ariel's handmaidens ceaselessly weave flowers into her hair, presenting an endless procession of styles and and aspects by which their beloved monarch might greet her consort. Those that retain a sense of time and worldly events look to his arrival; Naieth's divinations serve only to confirm what the jubilant atmosphere of the forest makes evident.

Wood Elves Confirmed.

>Why hasn't literally any foreign power with competent leaders just come in and taken it all?

None of their neighbors really have the resources or the inclination to conquer them.

The Empire has enough shit to worry about without starting a war with a nominal ally.

Estalia would rather anschluss Araby

Just started a Galatia campaign. Never played them before but it's not looking promising so far. Surrounded by Greeks and no one likes me. I'm not sure what my first military move will be, but there is FUCKING PONTUS next door.

...

>knock a breach in K8P with my ghost engineer
>send my ghost thanes and Belegar in
>army of Quarrellers to drown the orc horde in arrows while my 4 man ghost army eats everything else

REVENGE INCARNATE

no comfy false-flagging, galatiaposting is welcome

Consolidate Galatia et Cappadocia obviously
Even if it means going to war with all but one of your neighbours

Beat up Cappadocia

Beat up Pontus and Nicomedia

Then beat up muh arche seleukeia.

...

>phoneposting
>namefagging
Yeah, you can fuck right off.

Be cool with the seleucids and their satrap for now, wait until they're getting warred on by all the southerners before you try to complete the starting province.

You know what to do with Pontus in the meantime.

Well excuse me for actually having a life. Not all of us can sit on our asses in front of a computer screen all day.
What the fuck does this pic even mean?

I'm raiding Pontus for the time being, but they seem to be winning against Cappadocia, so i might jump in quick and then take Sardes.
Multi front war it is.

>Research a high end military tech that gives me a bunch of goodies like increased campaign movement range, charge bonus and a T4 military building
>Mfw it also "upgrades" my heavy melee infantry general units into foor archers with less HP, armor

>replying to shitposters

Caledonians?

I still don't understand what they were thinking vis-a-vis the Caledonian roster.

Just, what the fuck.

remove name

Caledonians are the Wood Elves of Attila, it's only fitting that they're shit.

It begins.

Usually Pergamon blobs the whole area pretty quick after the sillykids fall apart, so we'll see if it becomes a race with them.

Yes. Guess i have to try and keep them hidden in the backline and hope that the enemy never gets past my infantry

It means most of us enjoy fantasy and history but then the exclusive autists ruin the thread for everyone with shitposting

They honestly look a lot better desu, it's only really the armour.

They decided to fight the battle for their last city out in the field.

>cav coming in from behind
Somebody's gonna get raped

It ended quickly.

I can't
But history is boring school shit. Warhammer is only cool because of wizards and dragons and shit. It reminds me of warcraft except way less funny and way more edgy. I wish it was total warcraft but CA is way too smalltime to get the rights from Blizzard

>60 ROF
>150 range

WHY

Pontus is scared of my growing power.

how the fuck do you have that much money

Ok that bait was decent.

Commencing Japanese version of Osprey dump

...

Them old old old japanese hairstyles

>Japan
>using shields
I bet this is fantasy

>Playing without Bullgod's unit icons
It must be suffering

Their bows were probably shit at the time.

how very useful when you cant understand any of it

I have a mod that changes starting finances. Every faction starts with 50k.

Fucking sillykids stole in. Gonna be a while before i can challenge them for one piddly province. Might just start a rebellion there.

There's English in there though

I bet. None of that Sengoku era yumi. Probably even shittier than barbarbar shortbows.

Look at those fucking hipsters and their man-buns.

They look a bit like Pontic hillmen.

...

Those helmets are kek tier

Cute hair tubes

Fucking saved

Japan is permakek tier

...

Japanese helmets have always been swag.

This guy doesn't even look asian.

...

That doesn't even make sense..

...

...

I'm probably going to do a coastal sweep and exterminate the horselads, not-Spain and not-Italy for port money.

There are anons here who have no trouble reading moonrunes.

Jannies delete their yukkuri pastas

holy fuck never saw that

Well, it took me 13 years, but I did it. The Jewish Jutes shall soon march on Judea.

damn, must have been leg day in the shogunate.