Ask a guy about to walk into an AutoZone anything

Ask a guy about to walk into an AutoZone anything.

Does it have one of these on the counter?

No, it's on its own endcap.

Hablas ingles OP?

Pretty much only habla ingles there, Paco.

Ees Vatozone.
ees hokaay mang

Why are you going to a shit store and not ordering stuff off the internet like someone with half a brain?

Is their spray paint cabinet left unlocked?

ask a guy who used to work at a small town autozone anything

Because why the shit would I order rearview mirror adhesive online, you half witted cunt?

How big is your dick?

How many cvt dual exhaust links can you fit up your anus?

Depends on how much I've had to drink.

Do they have a synthetic oil change special this month like a Valvoline or Pennzoil with either a 1) STP premium filter 2) Bosch filter for under $35?

>be auto zone employee
>uhhh let me check
>does a 360
>not in stock sorry
>goes back to playing shitty country music while watching NASCAR on my Straight Talk smart phone

>OP fucking delivers

> straight talk smartphone

My nigga

Of course they do that is a parts store law

Did you know one share in Autozone is worth $750?

Do you want some Lucas fuel injector cleaner it's half off and cleans your filthy fuel injectors, peasant.

Shit my man, I left that place hours ago.

Nigga i'm sitting outside of your house.
So how about some half off Lucas fuel injector cleaner...bitch?

MADMAN
A
D
M
A
N

I'm at work right now Jamal, calm the fuck down.

Well i'll be here..

About thrree fidddy

I play with these whenever I see them

Do they have any MOTEC system exhausts in stock?

Hey OP, I go to that same autozone.

Off of Sherman Way, right?

do they have soft top cleaner/sealant?

can you check for me user

Ask them if they're hiring.
If they say 'yes' turn around and say, 'Never mind."

>NYSE:AZO - 809.87

Why do they have to say about 9/11 being a controlled demolition that was set off by the fire?

There was an...interesting...discussion on that at the local O'Rielly auto parts between a customer (not me) and the cashier.