Drunk Driving Thread

A fucking rational mind on shitpostcentral.com

No, really. Even sober I admit I drive better drunk. It's not just the booze talking. It sucks that not everybody is affected the same way, but that's life and denying it won't help.
It's best to start drinking WHILE driving instead of just hopping behind the wheel, i'll give you that.

drove drunk when i was 14 , the experience was sketchy enough for me to never do it again although i thought i was schumacher at the time
used to drive stoned all day every day for years then stopped once i realized how heavy the police were on driving under influence and how much i valued my license

its really not a smart move. although there are plenty of situations where it isnt so bad like if you live in a rural area

I'll give you 1/10 because you made me respond.

>Even sober I admit I drive better drunk
You dont. At all. You may feel more comftorble cruising along the highway but if you were on a windy road, or there is lots of traffic at speed, or its bucketing rain, or if you have to make evasive maneuvers etc etc... you are fucked.

I dare anyone to take their car to the track and see if they can set better times drunk without running off.
>literally impossible
>fact

DUI ruined my life for about 5 years.You will get caught eventually, and it will destroy your livelyhood

oh haha this thread again?? wow haha funny guy!! it's funny because you used the same image as last time with the filename "dejavu" ahhahahahahaha

My girlfriend of 3 years got hit by a drunk driver. She is the love of my life. She got a really bad hemorrhage and was suffering from seizures and comas. 1 year later and she still has not recovered. Her health is slowly decreasing and she may die on me soon. :(

Please don't drive drunk.

I'm sorry user

Christ dude, I'm so sorry. This shot is for her.

It's easy as fuck. Just sit in the car for a bit until you're not passing out then go. Keep your distance from other cars. Simple.

It's not funny or cool to drive drunk

I was 17 years old, passenger in someone else's car (an older female friend; I wanted to get laid) . Stoned as hell. And I'd had nearly a third a bottle of Chivas Regal (shit-tier scotch), my friend had some of my weed before driving. Weed was stronger than she expected, she was on the highway when she started having a freak out, saying over and over "I can't do this I can't fucking do this I can't do this..."

And I was like "Babe. Pull over. I got this." Apparently when I drink, I think I'm 007.

I remember stepping out of the car and my body leaning at a 45° angle as I sauntered to the driver': seat.

I remember getting behind the wheel. Putting the car in drive. Saying to myself: "Okay. Concentrate." Took a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. Put foot on gas pedal. Blackout.

The next thing I remember is my friend screaming "Stop, stop, you're going to kill us, STOP!", as I was pulling into a parking space in front of a gas station. Her and I traded places.

The rest of the night is a blur. I remember she pulled up to a red light. Minivan pulls up next to us. There are, like, six kids in this fucking shitwagon, and they're all staring at me. So I lean forward and barf all over the side of their van/my friend's car.

That was followed by a wave of energy, where I insisted that we go to the blood bank. My friend finally acquiesced, and I passed out in the parking lot. Friend drove me back to her place, left me in the car for the night. Woke up at 4am on that freezing October morning feeling barely-alive.

That was my only drunk-driving episode. I've driven buzzed many times since, but never drunk. I always give myself a field sobriety test, just to make certain.

It was one hell of an experience, and I'm just lucky we're still alive and my friend forgave me.

>Car is bigger than the gap
>Still got through

Stopped reading there senpai.

Move on m8. Even if she does recover there is nothing left for you there.
I know if I was comatose I would want me wife to move on.

The first and last time I drove drunk was when I was around 16. I was at a house party with some friends and we ran out of cigarettes so we made a plan that we'd drive to a petrol station (was around 3am). The guests mum had left her car there and she was on holiday so stupidly her daughter let me drive it, so 5 of us get in the car and at this point I had only had a few driving lessons and could hardly not stall the thing and knocking back a ton of beer didn't help.

We eventually got to the petrol station, and after stalling about 3 more times we were on our way back. Around about a mile from her house we passed the police and I still remember the terror of that moment, we got around the corner and I put my foot down in case they decided to follow the car full of 16 year olds at 3am Sunday morning. Going around 60mph in a 30 I missed the turning, swung it back around in a bus stop and made it back.

I get really horny when I drink. IDK why I'm just a perv I guess.

Me drinking and driving usually ends up in me driving naked and masturbating. The extreme exhibitionism is an extra turn-on. Done it about 5 times over the past 3 years, all at night because too much of a pussy to do it in daylight.

It's fun as shit you should try it.

this one time i was totally high from drinking alcohol and I accidentally shit my pants

I once drove drunk. Got caught, lost my license, went to prison, got raped. Got exactly what I deserved.

>drive drunk multiple occasions
>no problem

>drive high while smoking a blunt once
>dwi

Fuck North Carolina.

Barely ever seen a straight road in my life where I live..

>I dare anyone to take their car to the track and see if they can set better times drunk without running off.
>I dare anyone to take their car to the track and see if they can set better times drunk without running off.
Dude I cant even play Gran Tursimo drunk

I once moved my car 25 metres down the road after a few beause someone had parked over my drive previously.

Wew never again

Driven under the influence a few hundred times, never had anything bad happen. Do have some stories

>Drive high on le devils lettuce almost every day
>Nothing ever happens
>Gone through check stops completely baked
>Nothing ever happens

That about sums it up besides the 3 times it was something besides weed

1/3
>Drinking alone one night because depressed
>Get absolutely shitfaced killing most of a 2-6 of 40% myself
>Run out of liquor
>Thiswillnotdo.jpg
>Call several friends asking them to drive me to liquor store
>None of them can
>Finefuckyouthen.gif
>Stumble to my car
>Spend about 3 minutes trying to get the keys in the ignition
>Drive the speed limit in my lane to the store
>Buy more vodka
>Get home and pass out before I drink any of the vodka I just bought

Wew

2/3

>Do mushrooms alone
>Remember I'm depressed
>Badtrip.jpg
>Start thinking about killing myself
>Start actual attempt to kill myself
>Stopparkputthatshitinnuetral.jpg
>Call up girl I love, tell her how I'm feeling
By this point I've actually forgotten I'm on drugs at all
>She tells me to come over
>Get in my car, start driving
>Realize I'm high as fuck and shouldn't be driving
>Realize my headlights have been off for the last 10kms
(Back roads at night in my mk2 golf)
>Survive journey/driving in city somehow
>Cuddle with her until I pass out

Good thing there was no deer

And finally the one positive experience

3/3

>Do small amount of mushrooms
>Sitting in my car
>Good music
>Good vibes
>Decide to go for a drive
>Whip around the back roads tripping on mushrooms at sunset in my turbo'd Jetta
>Goodtimes.gif
>Take a good picture of my car
>Go home and go to bed

And that about sums it up
Pic related is picture I took

One day you will fuck up, or get impulsive.

Is weed not pretty much impossible to detect for them if you wait 2 hours after smoking?

Can you do the rest of us a favor and drive your car over a cliff next time?

If you wait 2 hours after smoking you'll be 9/10 sober so yeah

Yeah, always wait at least that.
Don't fucking trust myself to drive stoned.

I masturbate while driving too, thinking about my classmates

Reads comments: realizes you mean on public roads. Stupid fucks are stupid . You stupid fucks need to move to a rural area, drunk driving is great fun on your own private property where you can only hurt yourself .

ITT butthurt redditors and autismos with no life

ok ok all you dick heads, theres one MAJOR thing you're all missing

drunk driving is FUN, makes my big ass heavy car feel like a go cart

Drunk driving should be punishable by death.

I know this thread is mostly troll responses but in the event that some are real, trust me when I say that it isn't worth it. It completely caught me off guard. I was as naive and innocent as the next guy (drank one or two at dinner, had a few at friends house, maybe one or two at a bar) and then would drive home.

Big fucking mistake. If you're going to do it anyways, make sure you set aside at least $10,000 for court/probation/attorney/alcohol education costs. Also make sure you can get at least 30 days off from work since you'll be without a license for a bit

>Drunk Driving Thread

I hope everyone of you gets a long pailful death for putting in danger the lives of innocent people, how can someone be so detached from reality to simply ignore all the scientific evidence about how alcohol affects your brain and your reaction time while driving.

Unless you are Finish of course, in that case you are a cool guy.

As long as texting and driving receives the same punishment, I agree.

>getting a lawyer for a DUI
lmao

>t. someone that's never gotten a dui

stop victim blaming

2

This. Meanwhile getting high while driving's difficulty level is at an all time llw

Blood bank?
Why did it take this long for someone to ask?

>I once drove drunk. Got caught, lost my license, went to prison, got raped.

You should check for HIV after the minimum incubation period. In the USA, about 17% of those with HIV have been in prison at one point in their lives.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infectious_diseases_within_American_prisons

I don't care if this is bait, driving drunk is fucking retarded.

have a friend with this mentality, he hasnt fucked up yet but man hes bound to
this motherfucker blasted through a 45 mph turn at 92 mph when ee were faded one night
he also regularly blows through ALL the stop signs on an entire street sometimes
i love him but man hes a dumb motherfucker when he drinks

prove it

>getting a lawyer for a dui
lol

public defenders have better records.

>drove friend who was girl that I was secretly staying over with at the time a few blocks to a house party up the street she wanted to go to
>both drank and had a ok time even though I threw up in the bathroom
>time to go home
>was at a rough point in my life and wanted to see where this would go
>fuck it.jpg
>we both get in the car
>drive her few blocks down residential streets back home
>easiest fucking drive ever
>pull in her driveway and she lets me back in her room through the window
>take off shoes and immediately fall in her bed pulling the covers over
>hot as the fuck Florida dying.swf
>fuck it, take off all my clothes and say nothing
>start to cuddle her
>she feels the full force of my dick against her ass
>feel her shuffle for a bit thinking maybe she took her socks off
>she gently shifts the D with her hands
>is this . . what I think it is?.jpg
>she whispers, "if you push you'll be in-"
>drunk sex, was nice
>car repoed the next day by mexi-neighbors
>worth it and would do it all over again

Public roads are more fun, you have to be a good driver though

>Get home and pass out before I drink any of the vodka I just bought

fucking kek

I would of picked you up, you sound like a bro-tier alcoholic

>he can't prove it

>I actually drive better inebriated
Not only are you stupid, you're too fucking stupid to realize how stupid you are.

You have my solemn truthful vow, I've not had anything to drink today, so I'm sober, and I admit I'm cursed to drive better inebriated.

>thinks im going to dig up 10 year old court papers from my closet to prove i have something 50% of all young males get
no

I have never known it was possible to be drunk and sober at the same time.

You want us to believe you so hard, but you're not willing to prove it. That makes you wrong.

k. i hope you enjoyed spending 3 grand on someone who got u the exact same sentence as a public defender would have.

>Dude I cant even play Gran Tursimo drunk
For some reason, in sims I can race extremely well when drunk. I can't handle that shit IRL though.

Ha ha, oh god I remember back in college... my roommate had just gotten GT5 prologue. (I'm getting old, FUCK)

So we all go out to this Mexican restaurant that has a weekly special on margaritas. Basically they fill a giant fucking 32oz beer mug with the shittiest swill tequila and some lime juice, and it was cheap. I deck 2 of these things and finish 2 other people's when they puss out on theirs (one halfway, one left like 3/4ths of it).

I'm a skinny dude so I'm fucking hammered. I stumble back into the apartment and boot up the PS3 and proceed to systematically fucking STOMP all of my roomie's lap records by a second or two. He sees me doing this and is just sitting there in stunned silence.

>I can race extremely well when drunk.

That's actually very common IRL as well. Many professional drivers drink before races.

Here is the deal guys. Not proud about this one. I am 23 years old and I study in a small town with 20.000 people. Every second Thursday we've got a college party at the dorm next to the campus. Those parties are quite famos as there is really nothing else left to do in that small town. So since I'm a smooth young man, I enjoy going there and meeting girls. I don't live close to the dorm so I always take my car and park it at my mates house (they live closer to the dorm) Every time I go there, I bring my things with me as my intention is to sleep at their place after the party.
Usually we start drinking there and then we take a cab to the dorm party.

I'm a smooth blonde guy with green eyes, once I'm at the party I start approaching girls. No matter if I know them or not. Anyway eventually I will hook up with one and one thing leads to another. Now she is horny and so am I, my main objective is to take her home. Since I'm a student I reject the thought of taking a cab. So I always grab the girl and walk her to my mates dome where my car is parked.
Usually my mates aren't back home yet so I can't stay there. Therefore the only thing that I can do is take my car and drive home with my girl.

I hate doing this, I admit. However, it isn't easy when you've got a horny girl next to you. Also keep in mind that a ride from my mates house to my place takes me 10 mins. Moreover, I'm never really super drunk as I'm up to sex (can't get too wasted) and the reason why cops don't stop me is because they are usually close to the dorm. Where they check most of the drivers leaving the dorm.

I swear I won't do this ever again. I hate it but then again I love pussy in my bed! (I did this 4 or 5 times by now and I'm sure I'll never do it again as I'm quitting alcohol)

>pic unrelated

The trick is to stab yourself in the throat so that you don't endanger the rest of us.

If you need a couple shots to feel comfortable behind the wheel, then you shouldn't be driving you scared baby fuck.

My father died in a CRX while driving 200kph down on highway with his buddy.Rolled 8 times. The faggot that lived ended up in jail for 4 years and my family never received an apology from him for causing such a needless death. Granted, I was an infant so I didn't know my dad. But I wonder how much I missed on.

You sound like such a fucking faggot holy shit

Live in middle of nowhere,
no one is ever around
sometimes ride program but always get through because I have a high tolerance to alcohol.
Feels good.

Apology? Your dad got in the car.

Hehe, you dont drive better drunk :^)

He was 22. While accidents do happen, was it neccessary to slam it 200?He could've driven safely at 120 and still have a blast.
Also, if you step into my car I get the right to kill both of us?

I I want I want some fucking sauce on that

I don't drive on more than 4 or 5 beers
The only time I drive super drunk is around my parents lake house on the 50cc scooters

OK so doom her to a life alone because you need her to be able to make you a fucking sandwich

KYS

>drunk driving
how degen can u get?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duncan_Hamilton_(racing_driver)#Called_from_the_Bar

>When the race was under way the team tried to sober Hamilton up by giving him coffee during the pit stops but he refused it, saying it made his arms twitch; instead he was given brandy. The alcohol must have helped when he struck a bird face first at 130 mph and broke his nose. It is wonder how the pair managed to drive at all but more wondrous still is that the pair won. What’s more, they recorded the first 100 mph average speed at Le Mans, winning at a record pace! Both England and Rolt have denied that they were drunk.

It's not about fear like when you're at the gay club where you need drinks. It just enhances the experience
sorry you can't appreciate it, but it's weird and wrong and close minded to try to boss me like you're a law.

My ex gf who was here in the USA on a work visa got the brilliant idea to drive drunk and crashed her car on the freeway(her boss's car actually), got a ride to the hospital in an ambulance, was then arrested, and then flew back to her country to escape having to pay for any of it.
She still has astronomically high medical bills even though she just got driven to the hospital and they didn't do anything for her, because USA is land of the free.
She also can't come back to the USA because she has a warrant for her arrest and has to pay a bunch of fees as well as her medical bills.

Her working in the USA was supposed to be her ticket to a better life, and I really enjoyed our time together. But she fucked up, and now she's not allowed back here and is in her South American shithole.

No, but he knew the guy was drunk and probably didn't tell him to slow down or anything because he was having fun. It's as much his fault as it is the driver's Sounds harsh, but it's the truth.

What an idiot.. CA? It's only a 6 month class and no jail even if you crash. You can just claim bankruptcy for medical bills or I'm pretty sure you can even call and get medical bills removed from your credit report.

Why the fuck would you leave for something so minor..lmao

Stupid cunt. Hope u pounded her pussy well.

Should have guessed they were brits

>it's weird and wrong and close minded to try to boss me like you're a law.

If you have your own private road, you can do what you want. And we're not the law, but we are telling you that the law will fuck you in the ass once you get caught. It might be necrophilia.

The fact that you are so far into denial means you are an alcoholic. Seek help. The only marginally safe drunk drivers are the ones who know they are drunk, admit it to themselves and are doing 10 MPH below the speed limit in the left lane.

I have no idea. To this day, we haven't figured out why I wanted to go.

>tfw drunk driving
>swiped a car slightly
>cops that had been following decide to finally pull me over
>cops are cool as fug let me go and drop me off at my moms house
>just had to pay a fine for reckless driving
>was covered in throw up and couldn't remember shit because I was trashed

felt good man

Wow man you're so cool.

It's funny how that phrase is a theme with drunk drivers

>driving somewhat drunk
>gets pulled over
>cop asks me to read the ABC
>okay.jpg
>backwards
>shitsmypants.png
>I can't even do that sober
>spit it out anyways
>cop lets me off the hook

Let's not do that again

>>I can't even do that sober
This.
Why is this even a test?

>50%

Not even close to 50% of people are fucking stupid enough to drive while drunk. I don't even know a single person who has done it.

>be me
>have a couple beers
>call a taxi to drive me home because i'm not some edgy faggot who needs to fill the void of their non-existent pitiful excuse of a personality with alcohol.

>Be shitfaced
>drive home
>overshoot turn and decimate stop sign
>Never caught and negligable damage to car
Damn it feels good to get lucky