Simple question for car salesmen

I'm a (FUCKING) salesman.

I did pretty good my first two weeks. Sold 7 new cars.

Issue is, the people that bought from me were ready to pull the trigger the moment they walked in.

I spend 90% of my time working with customers that are fucking wrecks!

I swear to you some people come to the dealership just to smell the inside of a car that hasn't been urinated in.

They dress in their sunday best, puff out their chest, then in their most uptight James Spader in Pretty in Pink inflection, groan about how the new Lexus LS doesn't stay planted to the road the way a 7 Series does.

They go on and on about considering trading their Benz but "just don't feel like bringing it in" until we agree on price.

Then I ask for their credit so I can get their finance options and they come up with every excuse not to give it. When I present price, they immediately scoff and offer $12,000 less and pretend to have some Trump-sized balls and say "my final offer, take it or leave it", then I show them the door and watch them walk two lots over to get back into their 1996 Isuzu and putter on.

Please, salesmen, what is the easiest and quickest way to fucking SHAKE this information out of an up before proceeding to a test drive and demo?

If you're a price buyer, how do I know what price you want? They will always say "no no, payments no matter to me, price first", then I show them the sticker to a car before we even go for a drive, they proceed, and then cry about the price being $10,000 too much when we are through.

If you're a payment buyer, how do I know what you want to pay? I want to slap every stupid mother fucker that comes here and says they want to be at $350/mo. In what fucking world are these people doing their math? And then when I say "to get in that vehicle, we couldn't consider less than $950/mo, is this still feasible?" they nod, we drive, then they cry that I can't "split the difference" and get it to $400.

How can I stop wasting my time and kick the bums out???

>tell them you can't do less than $1900/month
>split the difference
>still get your nine hundred and fifty shekels every month

Ask for a credit run before the test drive

It's all about smelling the bullshit as soon as possible. Like your example could have ended if you paid attention to the car they pulled up in. Second art is how to blow them off or when to just roll with it and see what happens. Because sometimes people do have a shit car and have been saving up for a new Lexus or are socially awkward/intimidated by the buying process.

that shit doesn't fly. I've had customers that buy and didn't let me pull credit until they were signed on the price. If you push them like that, they scoff and go down the street about 4 miles and buy from our competitor.

some people are good, real good. One time I had a guy show up in a late model luxury SUV, dressed nicely with his wife too. He sounded no differently than any of our well-to-do buyers, until I took him inside after the test drive. He lost his nerve and his final resort to save face and not just admit he was out of his league was to offer about $6,000 below our invoice and say "final offer".

I just don't know how to qualify these people before going any further. NOBODY that I talk to ever has an answer. You can google sales tips all day and they answer everything EXCEPT this! It's the one fucking thing that can't just be passed around and learned!

Why does any of this matter? Your job is to show cars to everyone that walks through the door. Do your job.

That's a fucking lie. I watch the A-team (the 3 top sellers, averaging 25 sales per month) chuck people out the door all day. They make the best use of their time and don't dally around.

Somehow they can tell a scrub when they see them...

Also, you've never worked in a dealership if you've never witnessed this. I'm telling you, some people go to look at cars just to smell them and get attention. They feign disinterest and act somehow disgusted by the price, as if they had money and it was worth more than money.

you're mad because people get to troll the shit out of you

>Please, salesmen, what is the easiest and quickest way to fucking SHAKE this information out of an up before proceeding to a test drive and demo?
A good salesman just knows people. A great salesman, Dicky Fox, once said "unless you live everybody, you can't sell anybody"

I looked like James Spader when he and I was younger. I have never gotten dressed up to buy a car, why the fuck would you do that.. 90% of the time it's an appliance.

I pulled up in my 2000 ford ranger rust bucket to purchase a brand new gmc sierra elevation loaded to the balls. The salesman they sent to talk to me said "haha this version is a little pricey for you lets look at this shitbox 2012 v6 work truck we have for just 25999" I told him I was set on the Sierra he said it's a beautiful truck but most likely out of my budget. I left and came back the next day and asked for the manager because I couldn't find the same truck within the province. He sent me to another salesman and the other guy watched me purchase a 47K(after tax and all)