What is your startup procedure?

>line hone mains
>polish crank journals
>lathe rotors
>set cold pressures depending on humidity
>mill exhaust flange
>start car
>drive to work

I'm watching my weight.

>Unlock door
>Put key in ignition
>Turn key

It's that fucking simple, why are all you cunts so autistic?

Wait what, you don't do any of this shit?

>Walk up to car and eye check my tires
>unlock, stick key in start car
>wiggle my stick like 2 times to make sure its in neutral
>plug my phone into the aux jack and select music
>wait for the idle to drop down from 2k to normal
>if cold stand next to car while I smoke
>wait for idle to calm the fuck down cause my shit is moody in the cold
>drive on for whatever reason I just started my car

>glow

diesel?

>How to spot the autist with a rusted shitbox

>unlock
>get in
>pedal to the metal

>unplug engine heater

should be your sign right there hes got some kind of brotruck

>Back bike out of garage
>Start bike
>Look at front and rear brake fluid levels
>Look at front and rear tires
>Wait for it to go from --- to showing a temp
>put on gloves
>realize I fucked up
>take gloves off
>put on helmet
>put on gloves
>get on and hope someone doesn't try and kill me today

forgot a step
>look at chain after tires

2.5 D4D, Hilux

>unoriginal alloys
>tires sticking a little bit outside of the flares
>52 inch LED-bar

... oh my god, I never knew what I truly am!

I really dont know if this is bait or Veeky Forumsutistic

>get back in the car and give it two hard revs to circulate the oil and fluids

Dumb. You should get an oil pressure gauge since you don't realize that oil pressure is higher when the oil is cold.
Heating the engine/oil under light load is the least harmful way to do it.

youtube.com/watch?v=xKALgXDwou4

Idling it cold is bad, mkay?

>not tightening all your bolts daily
Good luck dying retard

does this video also apply for diesel engines?

>being a cuck

have fun with Tyrone and Jamal, Sean.

>get in
>start
>hammer it

It's nice to lease. Fuck diesel anyway.

Yes, but not as much as for petrol engines due to the more greasy nature of diesel.

Volvo did some long time testing on their trucks, and light load was considerably better for the engine than idling it to operating temperature.
I can't find the article tho.. will check back here if I do

>Yes, but not as much as for petrol engines due to the more greasy nature of diesel.

thats what i thought

but this Volvo study is prob about trucks? What about 2l 4banger biturbo? theres quiet a diffrence

There will always be discussion about this. My thoughts are; a modern engine will deal just fine with being run cold as long as you dont go full WOT before it has started to get properly warm.

>unlock and get in
>start and wait for revs to drop (or just go in the summer)
>shift into D for maximum respect
>go be autistic elsewhere

yeah prob
what I do is starting the engine first and than do all the over shit what is needed like scratching ice from windows, seatbelt, music, window/seat position.
Than I drive off and not rewing above 2500rpm if its possible
My problem is that I dont have a engine temperature indicator so I wait until the vents open up to let warm air into the car (they are closed as long as the engine is cold)
than I start driving like I want

Yes it was about trucks.
The problem with many modern diesel cars/engines, is that they simply don't produce that much heat. In colder climates it is not uncommon for them to never reach ideal coolant temperatures.
Idle heating such an engine would take a long time, thus subjecting it to more friction over a longer period of time (heat loss over time would make it necessary to idle for a much higher total numbers of revolutions), compared to heating under light load.

Thats what I'll do when I'm about to go home from work or similar - if there is any ice or snow to clear, something to load in or similar, although its mostly to get heat as quickly as possible and reach as good an operating temperature as possible to prevent carbon buildup and all other fuckery that can come with never running a diesel properly warm

>unlock car
>Put key in ignition
>Start car
>Scrape ice if necessary
>Get in
>Drive away
Stop being autistic op

this desu

>go outside
>sit on boulder
>scream at neighbors about pioneers
>drive away

If the temperature outside is under 40 degrees
>go outside, turn it on and turn the defrosters on
>if there's ice on the windshield, turn the wipers on and pour some somewhat warm water on the windshield
>turn headlights and foglights on
>go inside, wait 5 minutes to make sure it's warm
>adjust mirrors by hand
>leave radio off for the first 10 minutes of the drive

>walk around car check tires
>unlock car open hood
>check fluids
>start car
>let idle for a minute
>drive off
>in the winter time i even clean off the car

Anyone who does anything more other than unplugging an engine block heater of some sort is pretty autistic

>unlock
>get in
>put ignition to on and leave it there for couple seconds so the car can do the check-up
>start the engine
>wait for engine to lubricate itself and warm up a little (can take up to 3 minutes if is very cold)
>keep it under 3k rpm until it heats up
>drive it like is stolen after that

>remotely start (optional)
>unlock car via key in the door, as the fob isn't unlocking
>remove snow/ice from car (weather dependent)
>turn car on
>click away pressure system warnings (my winter wheels don't have sensors)
>drive away gently

>start car
>waste 10 minutes removing frost and snow
>drive

>start engine
>adjust hvac to desired settings
>dick with my phone trying to decide what I want to listen to
>drive away

>Pick up engine with shop crane
>Wheel over to where car should be
>Lower engine to the level it sits at in the car
>Fill with fluids
>Assemble rest of car around the engine
>Drive away

...

>unlock the car with remote
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walks the dinosaur
>do a sick neutral drop and speed away

winter
>unlock car
>start it
>switch heater to defrost
>turn on rear defrost
>leave it running
>go back in house
>wait 1/2 hour - 45min
>go out and brush off snow
>go back in house and warm self up (10-15min)
>go back to warm car
>drive

> Start car
> De-ice if necessary
> Adjust lights/stereo
> Wash screens if needed
> Drive away

>not checking tire pressure before driving away
wew

> check oil, not showing on dipstick, proceed to dump in 3 litres of used gear oil because i cant find any engine oil
>scrape 12"x12" area of windshield
>start engine
>instantly jam throttle to the floor so itll warm the fuck up so i wont be cold as balls on my commute
>30 seconds later neutral drop while still florring throttle
>release throttle when I reach parking lot at work
>eject my Def Leppard cassette and stick it in my walkman
>give it a couple redlines before i shut it off to burn out carbon and let everyone know i have arrived

>Pop hood
>Plug my center distributor plug back on
>Turn key in ON position
>Turn on my E fan to hear if it works (Had a relay burn out on me once)
>Start the car
>Wait till the needle is in the 10 oclock position
>Drive away

fuckin rock on dude

>get in car and turn it on at the same time
>make sure there's nobody hiding in the back
>turn on radio, ac, etc.
>drive off

>Pay hooker
>Let hooker out of the car
>Start car
>Warm up for a few seconds
>Slam the gas and hit the hooker
>Take the money I just paid to the hooker
>Search for another hooker
>mfw

>unlock car
>check tires
>get in
>start car
>connect Bluetooth
>toke
>wait for revs to go down
>wait for temp gauge to move if it's cold out
>fuckin go

Working as a dealership lube monkey I just check everything when I wash it twice a week

>unlock car
>get in
>check wallet for license
>no license
>don't drive

>scrape ice/remove snow
>turn key to 2
>wait 5 sec
>start engine
>adjust fans
>go

>get in
>turn key
>rev it up like BAM BAM BAM
>slam it in to R for respect
>drive on special lines and evade authorities

>get in car
>clutch and brake while neutral
>start button
>menu button, enter, down down, enter (fuck you ford for not being able to default my media option)
>sunglasses, seat belt
>directions if going somewhere new/check traffic
>die

>press A
>loading screen
>take a gulp of Mountain Dew
>eat some dangerously cheesy Nachos
>3-2-1
>go

>unlock
>get in
>full lock left
>full lock right
>pump clutch and brake
>turn ignition

>Walk up to car
>Remember car keys are still on the stool in the hallway
>Fetch keys
>Wrong keys
>Fetch right keys
>Drop in snowbank/shrubbery
>Find keys and used condom
>Open car, get in
>Get out, get keys from door lock
>Get in, insert key in ignition
>Remember my coffee is still on kitchen counter
>Get out, lock car
>Unlock house, get coffee
>Go back out
>Realize car keys are now on kitchen counter
>Put coffee on car roof
>Go back in, get car keys, get out
>Answer phone call from co-worker asking where I am
>Unlock car, get in, keys in ignition, close door hard on belt buckle
>End cal, start car
>Put in reverse
>Pound the shit out of my steering wheel as my coffee washes down my windshield as soon as I move

But tomorrow I'm the one taking the kids to the nursery and school, so that'll be much better.

>unlock car with keyless entry
>fumble for a moment thinking if this is my car that has an ignition or is "keyless"
>stick key in ignition or put key in pocket/passenger seat after much thought
>push in clutch
>turn key/press start button
>wait 2 seconds and drive away

>locking the car for the few seconds it takes to run inside and grab something

you live in detroit or something?

>Having kids in Detroit
Jesus, man, what kind of a monster do you think I am?
No, it's lock-related paranoia combined with a fairly low level of trust in my fellow humans when it comes to leaving my valuables alone.

>unlock car
>place 6-pack on passenger seat
>drink one or two before setting off
>finish the rest on my touge run

Lifes good boys.

>drag out 100 lbs of tools
>disconnect engine from transmission
>expel all fluids from engine, send them to lab to get them examined
>lift engine out of car
>disassemble it to its elements
>inspect each part meticulously
>if it seems okay I quickly reassemble it
>inspect transmission
>repeat steps for engine
>put engine back in
>wait a week for fluid samples to come in
>put engine back in
>refill fluids each time
It's a bit of a nuisance when I'm in a hurry but what can you do

sage
>unlock car
>get in car
>start car
>think I should probably check the fluids and shit sometime this week
>forget about it and drive off

rinse and repeat daily until a light shows on the dashboard

>slide across hood
>jump in through the driver side window
>jam key in
>reverse car at 100mph
>stop car with shifter, shift into drive
>drive off in neutral because I broke my band.

>start truck
>climb under
>bleed the clutch
>grind gears to destination
>Fix Ot Rgain Dony concentric slave cylinder

Kek'd and check'd

>go out of house
>wallet in hand
>show card
>Take seat
>i am alphonse

Sage

Why are your toddler kids throwing used condoms everywhere

>open garage
>open car door
>start car
>walk behind car to check if any dipshit put something behind it
>get in car
>close door
>put in drive
>in basement
>passed out, engine running
>fumes fill basement
>die

>unlock car
>put backpack on passsenger seat
>start car
>scrape ice if necessary
>adjust seat
>wait 30 seconds
>drive of slowly
>avoid rpm over 2000rpm
>drive to Autobahn
>drive 80km/h max
>drive ~10 minutes
>start Eurobeat
>accellerate
>

>unlock car
>get in
>start engine
>fiddle with the radio
>handbrake down
>into first gear
>go
Like most normal people

Human insertion routine:
>if car location unknown due to debauchery, use Apple Maps to find its last known location
>if car war parked somewhere unfamiliar, look around for dents, flat tires, etc
>take 2 seconds survey what's behind my car so I don't kill some retarded kid
>unlock car with embedded keyfob on key whose rubber has peeled considerably
>pull on door handle to open the door enough to fit my body
>throw myself into car
>close door

Car start procedure:
>shove key violently into ignition tumbler
>stomp on clutch pedal, drop gear stick to neutral, and turn key all the way to max until car starts
>listen to engine starting, wiggle gear stick, release clutch pedal if everything is good
>tease the brake a bit to make sure it's not feeling neglected
>look at side mirrors then rearview

Human pre-flight pacification routine:
>mount phone on mount, plug into 12V of cigarette igniting juice
>optionally determine destination and course by asking the Google
>queue up some tunes via Spotify

Getting on the grid:
>if necessary to reverse, decrease volume of music, lower window just a bit, and reverse as necessary until on the grid
>drive like grandma until car warms itself up
>drive like grandpa before he died in a car accident once car is warm

>start
>hoon

>check for spiders
>pump gas pedal twice
>pull choke
>pull shirt around mouth/nose and make sure garage door is open so i dont die of carbon monoxide poisoning
>startup
>full choke 10-20 seconds if havent started in a couple days
>1/4 choke until can idle steadily (sixth sense)
>idle a bit then drive off

>clutch in
>ignition on
>GAS GAS GAS
>dump clutch
>fully hektik

reading this post gave me reddit

bacon narwhal "lol" :) *adjusts trillby*

Thanks for the upvote, friendo!

>don't start engine
>don't check fluid levels
>don't check tires
>lock doors and windows
>leave house
>walk to the nearest bus stop
>tfw nocar

>Make sure the radiator fan switches are off
>Turn key and listen to the fuel pump prime
>Start car
>Check oil, vacuum, and fuel pressure gauges

...

>put it in D

>unlock car
>sit in driver's seat
>put on aviators
>whip out toothpick
>wanna toothpick?
>dump clutch in 3rd and speed off

>check coolant, engine oil, wiper fluid
>make sure all bulbs are working
>check each individual tyre pressure
>turn car on
>let it idle for 11.4 minutes
>get in
>read entire owners manual to ensure complete knowledge
>check rearview mirror
>check side mirrors
>fasten seatbelt
>put on gloves
>tape hand to steering wheel
>drive to mechanic
>ensure I stay below 3000rpm
>mechanic tells me to fuck off and stop coming back everyday
>continue with my day

>get in car
>start engine
>take heels off
>set central mirror in position
>refresh lipstick
>put central mirror back into driving position
>by then engine and oil have warmed up enough
>take driving slippers from the storage below seat
>put them on
>check tucking
>seatbelt on
>get in gear
>drive on

>turn key to ignition until fuel pump stops
>turn off and back on agin to prime it again
>start
>put in 1 and drive away

>unlock door
>Start engine
>crank defrost
>Parking break release
>Switch into M or D
>Drive

>get in
>start car
>wait for the 1100 rpm idle to droop below 1000
>slowly drive off