>Napoleonic Wars It took large coalitions and years to finally beat the French.
>Crimean War The French performed excellently while the British very poorly.
>WWI Kicked Germany's ass and again performed excellently.
>WWII Yes France surrendered but so did every other European nation except Russia. And the British were surrounded by sea so they were lucky. And despite that the French continued fighting with the Free French Forces and with resistance groups all over France.
>Indochina War The French lost but so did the "mighty" Americans in the Vietnam War.
The point is that since Charlemagne the French had great victories and were a military power for hundreds of years.
We Français are ze greatest soldats and ze Amerloques were eating zeir disgusting burgers while we were dying by ze tousands in ze tranchées. For zem ze guerre started in 1917 and zey fink zey are ze eros of ze free world. Zey can suck ma baguette.
Zachary Morales
It's the same nation. More accurate to say the French are franks
Brandon Mitchell
> Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted. > Italian Wars - Lost > Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots > Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. > War of Revolution -Tied > The Dutch War - Tied > War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. > War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. > American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." > French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. > The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. > The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. > World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." > World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. > War in Indochina - Lost > Algerian Rebellion - Lost How do you feel about that, perfidious Francophone?
Jordan Young
>give up because of a 100% kosher socialist revolt back home The last half-assed counter attack Germans made during WW2 happened a month before the revolution. It was repelled by Belgians - you know, the guys who had to, for almost whole war to smuggle reinforcements from occupied Belgium to the frontlines. Prussian general staff couldn't admit that they've lost so they blamed jews instead.
Anthony Wilson
I have to agree with this. Poland fought tooth and nail and fought without any help (even though the "allied" countries were suppose to help if Germany invaded), and France rolls over like a beaten dog. This is why people consider the French cowards.
Ryan Kelly
>WW2 WW1*
Xavier Nguyen
The Germans were fighting a mostly defensive war in WW1, it's why their trenches were so fortified and built well compared to entente trenches which were little more than dirt holes
the Spring offensive failed to gain any very good ground, (Though it did gain some) and desu the spring offensive was entirely unnecessary the Germans were "winning" up to that point, if you define winning as not losing
William Walker
No, Franks were a Germanic confederation of tribes who subjected Gallo-Romanics and other Germanic tribes. France developed out of the Western Frankish empire which was mainly settled by Gallo-Romanics + some assimilated Frankish nobility. They sticked with the name but that doesn't make them Frankish.
Camden Parker
>> Hundred Years War >- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted. Le meme history le lel le topkek.
What are Castillon and Patay? England was winning because longbows are wunderwaffen and French armours were made of cardboard but then Joan of Arc ruined everything all by herself.
(This is what the English speaking world actually believes: the HYW is just a succession of spectacular English victories oddly leading to England losing the war.)
Carson Sanchez
The average Normie only cares about the last 70 years I gave up on this a long time ago
Adrian Watson
Their defence was about to be broken by the time armistice was signed. Their fleet went on suicidal mission that was stopped by the crews rebelling. The army lacked everything from ammunition through food to manpower. But yeah they could've hold for a little longer - entente estimated 1919 - and the butthurt would be glorious because American rearguard units would get their hands on German women.
And to say it diplomatically... American rearguard units were very melanine-heavy.
Liam Jenkins
The Franks were a tiny minority indeed but that doesn't stop the Veeky Forums expert from saying that at the time of Charlemagne France was populated by Germans.
>not every migration ends up with white settler replacing the Indians.
Carson Carter
I'm unaware of the Germans lacking in logistical support, as far as I know, that was the Austrians.
Grayson Morris
/thread
Nicholas Gutierrez
>Scotland
Connor Gonzalez
> French Revolution >- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
Always lose my sides at this.
Kayden Lopez
Charlemagne was not French.
His family was not even from Neustria, but from Austrasia.
Asher Hall
Austrasia je France.
William Russell
Pic related. That's not a meme.
Ethan Torres
If we are going to think like that we will have to count every English military victory from wilhelm the conqueror till the midst of the Hundred years war as French.
Wyatt Morgan
Learn to read, he's not calling them cowards, he's saying they don't have the Roman discipline (no shit).
Evan Murphy
> copypasting albinoblacksheep
Is that really what this board has sunk to?
David Clark
Why do you post it on a board were most people are educated on history and thus already know that? Go post it on /b/ or Reddit if you want to teach someone anything
Nolan Peterson
>a board were most people are educated on history
Where can I find that board?
Luke Campbell
>French Revolution >- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
This one always gets me Special mention to the part where they claim the Italian Wars were against Italians, but you removed it from the pasta
Landon Smith
>every English military victory from wilhelm the conqueror till the midst of the Hundred years war
Too bad zero English victory happened during that period
Justin Parker
>HYW Historians mostly conform themselves to the idea that the war was punctuated in four phases, the first presided over by mostly english victories, the second being overseen by french victories under Bertrand de Guesclin, the third by english victories while France was plagued by a weak regency, and the fourth by french victories with their armies now having mastered cannon warfare exemplified at Castillon (and their morale reinvigorated by Jeanne d'Arc).
>italian years Mostly won by the french, with successes so overwhelming that they sometimes warranted coalitions against France such as the league of Cambrai. France was only was halted in their expansion in Charles Quint's time, who could threaten France from both Germany and Spain.
>Wars of religions France is the first country to quieten their Protestant dissidents, while Germany and England are plagued by infighting till the Thirty Years's war.
>Thirty years' war Under Richelieu, France becomes the overseer for the anti-Hapsburg league, and its main financial contributor, funding Carolus Rex in his expedition, while neutralizing the Spanish at Rocroi and invading Italy to lplm threateningly against the papal states.
>war of the devolution France wars against the entire world and still reaches a tie.
>the Dutch war France beats the Dutch at every encounter save for naval ones, and secure their claims over the Rhine territories.
>Seven Years' war France and its allies are on the verge of besieging Berlin, until Russia betrays them. Furthermore, France's efforts there can be forgiven considering that they had tired themselves for Prussia in the austrian war of succession. Additionally, Britain dismisses the European theater, and instead brings 42,000 men to fight the 10,000 french in Quebec (who beat them back twice).
>war of the Spanish succession France Wara against the entire known world with only meek Spain to its side, and secures its right to throne a Bourbon as the heir of Spain.
Thomas Hernandez
>American Revolution France has to end the losing streak afflicted on the american colonists, and has to do so by leading the American army with their generals, along with blockading english reinforcements, essentially for winning at Yorktown.
>French Revolution France beats back Spain, England, Italian states, the netherlands, Russia, Austria, the ottomans, Prussia all while being plagued with a civil war.
>Napoleonic wars France beats back 6 coalitions, and Napoleon is beaten at Leipzig under numeric inferiority.
>the Franco-prussian war One french army is surrounded with their emperor, and republicans, rather than mobilize the remainder of the armies against the Prussians, rush to the idea of bargaining a peace with Germany in which a republic might be reinstated for France.
>WW1 France saves the war at the Marne, and does so again by ending the german advance at the Marne once again before american aid becomes substantial.
>WW2 Brits run away, the french generals are idiotic, the french president sells the country to Germany as he is fascist himself. The end.
>lost in Indochina True, but at a time when the army was denied funding by Parliament and were told to win the war on their own amenities.
>algerian war A Vietnam-war type situation. Winning on all fronts, but relentless enemies and home-gown disapproval for the war.
>replying to a pasta that claims the Italian Wars were against Italy, that France lost the Spanish Succession and that the main opponent in the French Revolutionary Wars was also French
Brandon Evans
Lots of people already shit themselves when you call the French-speaking kings of England and their victories "English."
Oliver White
Oh I had something to herald it at first saying that I knew that this hailed from the sheep website.
Don't know where it went, but it was to warn that I know of the origins of this copypasta, but that I meant to rectify some dishonest lies from the text for those of us who really wanted to know what had happened.
Sorry aboot that.
Michael Taylor
For some reason this whole "fighting the whole world but eventually lost but that doesn't count!!!!" doesn't count for the French in the Napoleonic wars.
Connor Ross
>Kicked Germany's ass and again performed excellently. France got their ass kicked most of the war even with British help and Russians fighting another front. They only '''''won''''' because the war became a stalemate and Germany was embargoed and cut off from sea plus the (((traitor))) revolution at home.
>The French lost but so did the "mighty" Americans in the Vietnam War. The French got their asses kicked, whereas the Americans killed so many Vietnamese that the public wanted army to leave. Basically another (((treason))). Also the Soviet Union gave them the latest military equipment and training, US did the same in the Afghanistan War the USSR lost.
>The point is that since Charlemagne Charlemagne=/=French
Dylan Brooks
>surrendering in less than two weeks to the Germans and sustaining only a few hundred casualties in the "fight" for France
It will never be forgiven.
Jose Cooper
>>surrendering in less than two weeks to the Germans and sustaining only a few hundred casualties Pretty sure it was 20 minutes and one French soldier getting a cramp.
Colton Ramirez
Cool meme bro But France lost in 45 days in 1940 Meanwhile, France unironically conquered Prussia in 19 days in 1806 That's the fastest a Great Power was ever conquered
Alexander Roberts
At least it was very mildly "avenged" I suppose.
And France has also had its days of swarming through Germany unscathed considering Jena and Ulm, though those aren't either comparable to the french defeat.
That said, under closer inspection, the french defeat is owed more to french ineptness, and the germans being insanely lucky for the Sedan breakthrough, and it shouldn't be forgotten that many french were optimistic about being ruled by a fascist government than by the communistic aspects they'd seen through the Front Populaire (socialist) government.
Michael Sullivan
>WWI Germany beat France pretty badly despite fighting at two fronts. Without British help, France would have fallen.
Oliver Adams
That would be like how long it took Germany to capture one province of France though.
Leo Rogers
>Without British help, France would have fallen.
Cool story bro, but you have to remember that if victories for which you needed allies to win don't count, then Britain has literally never won a war against another european power (unlike France, Germany, Spain, Russia...etc)
Andrew Bailey
And yet that's how long it took France to capture the entire country of Prussia (as opposed to one province)
Dylan Brown
French population in 1914: 39 million.
German population in 1914: 62 million.
Is it really that surprising that France might have faltered without the british? And the Marne was fought without the british there yet, so Great Britain wasn't either holding France's hand the entire ride.
Aaron James
The point is that if your ally has to come to bail you out because you punched above your weight you didn't "kick ass".
Anthony Martin
Prussia is just one province of Germany you moron.
Nicholas Green
>though those aren't either comparable to the french defeat.
The German defeat of 1806 in a mere 19 days is totally comparable to the French defeat of 1940 in 45 days though
Michael Flores
Germany also had to worry about the Eastern Front.
Liam Hernandez
No it's not, you literal retard Prussia in 1806 was a whole independent country and basically the Germany of the time Germany is basically just Prussia that absorbed a few lands
Saying Prussia wasnt a Germany yet is like saying France wasnt France in the HYW because it didnt have Brittany and Alsace yet
Jeremiah Harris
Buddy we're on the same side. All I'm saying is that Napoleonic campaigns, which were renowned for being brief, can't be juxtaposed to modern campaigns which are meant to endure far longer periods.
C'est pas avec cet argument que tu gagneras l'ami. Autant leur faire comprendre que la bataille de France s'est soldé en une victoire allemande par la simple bêtise de nos généraux.
John Morales
Until Tannenberg which happened in 1914 After that the Eastern Front became a more or less trivial tast and most troops were concentrated on the West
Eli Davis
Prussia wasn't the whole of Germany.
Prussia was the whole of Germany in 1871, and that's when France was beaten. Ever since Germany unified, France has been playing second fiddle in Europe.
Jayden Brown
Forces were still tied there.
The point is: without Britain, both France and Russia would have been beaten. It wasn't an example of France kicking ass but it was a struggle for survival.
Lucas Harris
1940 is undenfendable The best way to fend off the meme is to remind them that Germans can be surrender monkeys too when put under the command of generals as shitty as the French had in 1940
Jaxon Rivera
Nobody really kicked ass in WW1 really, knowing that all belligerents were straining to remain in the fight, so even the simplest acts of braving german artillery at Verdun or recapturing lands along the Somme can be equated to a "glorious" act.
But I think that you are right to say that OP is exaggerating there. It was a costly stand that shouldn't be dismissed (looking at you BF1), but that you can't be praised as "le kicking ass".
Jordan Jenkins
>Prussia wasn't the whole of Germany. Prussia was always the main German state since the 1600s Germany is basically Prussia = a few small lands
>Ever since Germany unified, France has been playing second fiddle in Europe. True, but France had already fallen since the beginning of the 19th century, decades before Germany united It's not Germany that killed their dominance, it's the Napoleonic Wars (so basically Russia)
Nolan Harris
>It wasn't an example of France kicking ass but it was a struggle for survival.
OP exaggerated with that one, yes The same way people who claim France lost both WWs do
Liam Barnes
no it didnt became trivial Russia quickly mobilized more armies afterwards. And dont forget Austria-Hungaries main focus was also the Russians
Robert Ortiz
>Prussia was always the main German state since the 1600s Before Frederick the Great Prussia was an unimportant, indefensible backwater.
>It's not Germany that killed their dominance, it's the Napoleonic Wars (so basically Russia) The Napoleonic Wars were mostly fought by German troops.
Jacob Williams
>Germany is basically Prussia = a few small lands
+ I mean, not =
Noah Rivera
>The Napoleonic Wars were mostly fought by German troops.
Good joke The Napoleonic Wars were fought mostly by German troops when Napoleon was winning (Austerlitz, Jena, Wagram) Then he lost his army to winter (and not to German troops lol) and after that, the war to push him back to France and dethrone it was fought mostly by Russian troops with some German support
Jacob Thomas
France was utterly humiliated in the Franco-Prussian War and in WW2. WW1 was only a pyrrhic victory for them. They also lost their two colonial wars.
Carson Foster
>with True, Pétain betrayed for political power. This happens to be why he isnt burried in Verdun and why you're right when you say the fight wasnt over.
Cooper Hall
Eh, not trivial either, but what did transpire is that the germans extinguished the threats against eastern Prussia by annihilating the Russians at Tannenberg, which enabled their focus to be burdened on the western front even more.
Von Mackensen shrunk that threat some more by establishing a line that the Russians would never again break from 1916 onwards, and even Remarque reminisces that soldiers would celebrate being stationed on the eastern front rather than the western front.
The importance of the eastern front did gradually diminish, so more and more was heaved on the french and british armies.
Liam Mitchell
no, this is because we deported Jews and the Americans needed to make believe they were more important than the russkies in defeating GErmany. So downgrading French's acts helps.
Owen Powell
Do they? I thought the Brits considered Richard Lionheart, for example, theirs.
The majority of the participating soldiers was German.
Mason Bennett
>German fought WWI alone >Alger's battle wasnt the only recorded victory of traditionnal army vs guerilla >Algeria didnt end because of the civilians were disgusted by tortures and shit >Charlemagne anything but French
You need to read, son.
Gavin Howard
But in that one most were Russians
Brayden Cook
>ww1 >tied >Entente won And what was France part of? The entente.
So somehow America "wins" the war by entering in the last minutes?
You must have been that guy who on school projects wrote the conclusion at the end and then claimed "Yup, did it all."
Ian Walker
/pol/
Juan Green
>((())) Go back to the ostfront herr oberleutnant.
Bentley Phillips
The Battle of Leipzig was obviously the more relevant one.
Wyatt Green
The Franks were proto-norse.
Cameron Diaz
From another galaxy.
Lincoln Edwards
They were though.
Nathaniel Howard
>karl the great >french
Jaxon Anderson
>And despite that the French continued fighting with the Free French Forces and with resistance groups all over France. This is mostly a nationalist myth. The French resistance forces were very small and inactive compared to Eastern Europe and the Balkans. Many Frenchman were perfectly comfortable to live normally and support the Nazi regime through their jobs.
Oliver Young
>Karel de Grote >german
Ian Perez
>resistance movements are smaller in developped countries in which the occupiers treat the locals well than in poor shitholes were the occupiers committ countless massacres
Who could have guessed? France still had as astonishingly high resistance for such a developped country Compare the percentage to the Neutherlands, Belgium, Norway or even Post-WW2 occupied Germany
Nathan Watson
France has the best military record they have won more wars than I think any other European nation, I think it is just the general perception of people who really only learned WW1 - WW2 history regarding the French military, though pre 1850 France was the main land force of Europe
Landon Price
>Karolvs magnvs imperator >not Roman
He was a jew really though.
Ethan Lopez
t. amerifat
Nicholas Parker
Most coalition soldiers at Waterloo were Germans too.
Ethan King
Back then Saxony and Austria were the strongest German states
Camden Davis
Austria wasnt a German state It was another country that happened to rule over the German and Italian states through the phantom entity called "HRE"
Leo Jackson
True that. Prussia was more "Actual Germany" than Austria, Or how was it?
Lincoln Moore
Most Austrians consider themselves to be ethnic Germans (my parents are from Austria), and Austria is culturally Bavarian. Austrians only started to distance themselves from Germany after German nationalism got discredited by the Nazis.
Then he was neither french or german i'm fine with that
Zachary Edwards
French is the only state that can claim Karl legacy.
Angel Cox
/gsg/, /twg/, and /mbg/ in Veeky Forums fuck, most memes on Veeky Forums originate there.
John Miller
no, it cannot.
Levi Perry
In Belgium we were taught he was born here, actually. Or at least spent his youth here, I forget which.
Lucas Thomas
Only state that got a continuity with the empire, HRE end in heresy and french revolution. They're the most legitim for such a claim, admit it Karl was a direct ancestor of France and one of their King.
Chase Watson
Ironically this meme won't die until the French become cowards and bend over backwards for the Americans. The surrender monkey thing didn't really get going until the Iraq war, where America was clearly in the wrong. Condoleeza Rice even specifically stated her policy: Punish France, ignore Germany, forgive Russia. France was an easy target because it performed poorly in the only war the American people remembers.
