Autism

>Going to war over a fucking woman

Stilly better than going to war over a bakery

>In 1838 a French pastry cook, Remontel, claimed that his shop in the Tacubaya district of Mexico City had been ruined by looting Mexican officers in 1828. He appealed to France's King Louis-Philippe. Coming to a national's aid, France demanded 600,000 pesos in damages, an enormous sum for the time, when the typical daily wage in Mexico City was about one peso (8 Mexican reals).

>When president Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the king of France ordered a fleet under Rear Admiral Charles Baudin to declare and carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports from Yucatán to the Rio Grande, to bombard the Mexican fortress of San Juan de Ulúa, and to seize the city of Veracruz, which was the most important port on the Gulf coast. French forces captured virtually the entire Mexican Navy at Veracruz by December 1838

>Meanwhile, acting without explicit government authority, Antonio López de Santa Anna, known for his military leadership, came out of retirement from his hacienda near Xalapa and surveyed the defenses of Veracruz. He offered his services to the government, which ordered him to fight the French by any means necessary. He led Mexican forces against the French. In a skirmish with the rear guard of the French, Santa Anna was wounded in the leg by French grapeshot. His leg was amputated, and buried with full military honors.[2] Exploiting his wounds with eloquent propaganda, Santa Anna catapulted back to power.

>With the diplomatic intervention of the United Kingdom, eventually President Bustamante agreed to pay the 600,000 pesos for the baker's damages, and the French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pastry_War

Not to mention this one really happened while the Trojan War is a myth

To be entirely fair, this is enforcing a citizen's rights overseas. Though I agree that of all the wars we know for sure happened, this is one of the most autistic.

>Menelaus was king of Sparta. He could've had a trillion bitches, but he chose to send thousands of men from across Greece to their deaths over a fucking disloyal whore.
>implying it was this fucking simple

It was though. Nigga went to war because his hot yet traiterous slut wife was "stolen". And being the king, I don't question he could have at least five random women in his bed whenever he wanted.

Literally anything and everything involving Germany.

That's not autism, that's just 19th century imperialism.

You do this, and maybe next time you demand a crazy ammount of money from Venezuela or Haiti, they'll pay up quicker.

This is the correct answer

>France almost destroys Mexico because ONE baker got his shop fucked up by Mexican officers
>Americans are murdered, imprisoned, and oppressed in foreign countries EVERY SINGLE DAY
>we sit impotently by and pay ransoms for our people

Fucking pathetic.

He ruled because he was married to her, he wasn't born King of Sparta.

youtube.com/watch?v=4ztOV2wrrkY

/thread

Historical but still going on today, been reading about the dispute over these Senkaku Islands and its autistic as shit, the islands are literally uninhabited mostly barren rocks.

Both Japan and China dive into obscure parts of their histories nitpicking why one should own them over the other

"We used them as defense against pirates in the 1300s!" "One of our businessmen collected bird feathers there in 1896!"

If Autism was a country, it would be Germany. Germany in the early 1900s was probably the height of its autism.

>Menelaus was king of Sparta. He could've had a trillion bitches, but he chose to send thousands of men from across Greece to their deaths over a fucking disloyal whore.

>getting cucked
>allowing it to go unpunished

You should castrate yourself

>lmao dude why would you want a piece of land that would significantly increase your territorial waters, it's just a rock!1!

kys

There's good evidence of natural gas reserves around said islands, which is the real motive.

Is this a meme?

what, germany?
yes, and an especially funny one
t. Charlemagne

When I hired mercenaries and started the construction of siege equipment to make mom give up her GBP before I had to take them by force. Fortunately she saw reason before blood was drawn.

>The Pope had the idea...

Germany is a very relevant country.

World War I.

Many young men lost their lives because of the death of one prince.

Helen was the heir of Mycenae, not Meneleus. No marriage, no legitimacy.

The Great Northern War.
Karl literally had Russia and """""Saxony""""" begging for peace, and the Danes had already folded in the first few weeks.
He invaded for Poland for "muh just and honest peace," and would've single handily destroyed the Swedish Empire if his generals didn't do an even better job of fucking their own shit up.

Further proof of German autism in that the "invincible" Prussian war machine didn't get involved until both George I and Peter the Great had Sweden on the ropes.

the real motive is probably just political, a bunch of gas isn't worth enough to fuck up huge economic ties

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_the_Bucket

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig_War_(1859)
this is a pretty autistic one

The Falklands

The autism can still be seen today on any Veeky Forums board that discusses world politics or history.

Martin Luther is possibly the most clearly autistic historical figure of them all.

The War of the Bucket is the single most autistic thing to ever happen in recorded history.

People literally died for a stolen bucket.

Caligula's war on Poseidon.

The Crusades since most people who are against the syrian immigrants call for it even the the catholics got their butts kick 9 out of 10 times

The build up to WW1 was ridiculously complex and the death of Franz Ferdinand was really just the spark that set everything off.

When so many great powers are that close together and have similar global desires, an enormous amount of distust forms between them.

When the Duke got killed there was talk of war, which meant everyone started preparing for war out of fear, then everyone saw that everyone was preparing for war, and declared war. It would have happened eventually even if the Duke didn't get himself shot.

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t. Abdullah al-raqqa

First Crusade: Success
Second Crusade: Success (against Pagans)
Third Crusade: Success
Fourth Crusade: Just fuck my Byzantines up. Was meant to go to Alexandria and had a very good chance of capturing it.
the rest: poorly organised shittery led by morons.

You want shitposting? Here you go.

>mfw ive never even heard of this pathetic taco war until now

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>less than 100
You are completely fucking retarded if you ever beleive numbers like this. They probably had over 100 men die fron starvation alone.

>success
keep dreaming richard III

>09
But they blitzkrieg France pretty good.

yeah, we couldn't have a shitty Europe without them

>muh Jerusalem

Literal shithole of a city that was only valued for sentimental reasons until about 50 years ago.

Not managing to take Jerusalem may seem like a symbolic loss, but the Crusaders took cities that were of actual use like Acre.

high functioning autism, I guess

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Oh man, I forgot I had this particular bit of extreme autism saved!

Le dumb /pol/ without a philosophy degree amiriteee!!xD!!
Is this about video games?

The Veeky Forums Pony War

>Was meant to go to Alexandria and had a very good chance of capturing it.
Lol, almost all attempts at Egypt ended at bloody failure.

lmao you made a new post to change amiriteeeee????!? to amiriteee!!xD!! ?

I wonder who is behind this post?

Based Irishmen, Denmark, Poles, and Mysore.

At least SOME saw what was truly right.

Someone do a vendee counter-revolution version of this

pretty nice pic, user

war of the emus
australia
1900s
result: emu victory
beligerent: australian state

that or the nigger escapade off the east coast where it was the shortest war in history and the bombed a palace

>Menelaus
>Menelag...

Hmmm, what an interesting comparison, Sareth.

Eh France was not really just defending a citizen's right, they had been looking at Mexico for a while and they had the intention of invading it for some time, they actually got to do it at the end but everything got fucked and they decided to drop the dream of a French Mexico after their puppet was executed and the US told them to fuck off from the Americas.

whats their fucking problem?