/ss13g/ - Spessman on a Spess Station Genera

I don't mean if someone is giving me shit or the clown trips me and steals something, despite it being annoying because it's IC.
I mean if I'm playing clown just how far can I take it as a non-antag.
B&E is a brigable offense but I don't want to get in OOC shit because I did a shabby job of it and say left a path right into xenobio and some greytide shitter let the squishy hug aliens loose.

Who never Ahelp here?

Who use ahelp just to talk with the admins here?

Don't kill anyone or try to kill anyone, don't raid the armoury, don't act like an antag. Think of it like real life and do things that regular people would do in real life, such as steal stuff and be a cunt

Me all the time. Im pretty sure they hate it.

isn't that how plapitans autism was unveiled?

They're ADHD riddled validshitters. They're not worth anything anyway.

No more fucking purges bringing shitters over and unleashing the existing shitters.

This purge thing is a joke, right? There's not actually going to be one, is there?

literally all of you people are already shitters what fucking difference does it make

Still salty over the jobban?

can you make beds out of wood yet

??? ???

Just how much meta comms is bannable?
I like to play with a friend and we make sure to never mention anything even remotely significant, but we do stuff like talk about how much of a fucker HoP is being.

There was one incredibly shit purge. Then they let the cervix tickler fucking make one. What do you think the literal retards running the place are going to do?

Zero unless you're the admin metaclub's fuccboi, What you described is a permaban without appeal

course it is

just some lonely fuck trying to meme his purge into reality to satisfy his ERP fantasies

Why would it be? We already had two and everyone had fun or just took a break.
don't be upset

I feel like I would have been more useful during that away mission if I had actually brought a gun
At least we made it to the gold room

There was a purge previously. It was fun for its sake for a day. Ch-cken willing there won't be another.

Well I can't suck dick all that well.
Better get ready for a perma

>Get converted to cultist
>never have played as a single antag before
>no idea what the fuck to do

I'm sorry

Because since each one the quality of the playerbase has gone down and down? The purge days are a cancer on the server and should never had happened in the first place.

We've already had two
It was mostly plasma fires and MoMMIs preventing anyone from having fun all day

Ah yes, your imagination.

They can't ban you if they don't find out. Just don't do anything obvious, dummy. If you're just shittalking people, how is any one gonna find out?

Cults a really complex antag role. It's to be expected that most people don't know everything and a fucking lot have no idea what to do.

In fact if everyone knew how to play cult, cult would be hopelessly overpowered.

...

Were you the robonerd? Sorry for yelling at you.

>camping arrivals
nice

I had fun

>be paramedic
>do paramedic things
>build a cafe section and play guitar
>treat Yahirs inflamed anal organs
>go walk my dog in real life
>come back and i've been gibbed
>later become an ayy
>vicious gorilla warfare against a heavily armed crew equipped with CHEMICAL WEAPONS

Yeah, that was me.
Don't worry about it, at least you took charge

i actually missed the pod and found yahir while roaming around

It was more like we were pushed to arrivals after being driven out from other spots and made our final base in the ghetto bar.

Just stop. If your friend is a retarded cunt, talk to admins about changing your ckey so you have a note pointing them to it and don't use the same static name/appearance.

Read the wiki dude, guide's are there for a reason. You don't have to be Solid Snake, but I should be able to tell you what the words to the cult base are and for you to get a chem setup, ghetto medbot parts, trauma kits, and teleport there to sweatshop talismans and runes then tele blitz the station with armored manifest ghost soul shard spam. Only a shuttle call can stop that and whoever got head id duty should have brought you it and a comms.

The less you know about spess the funner it is, don't be like this guy who plays to win

>This purge thing is a joke, right?
Nope. Enjoy blow borgs, plasmaflood, welderbombs and delaminations every shift

>someone has all access when they shouldn't
>barge right into chemistry and start making shit
You fucking asshat, literally just ask for the chloral and I'd make you some.

Since it's a new year, annual reminder that if you don't know keyboard shortcuts, you should go here

ss13.moe/wiki/index.php/Shortcuts

If you're a new player, this could potentially improve your quality of life dramatically.

what a wild ride.
>Latejoin chemist, the ultimate disposable job gotta leave house soon.
>walk into medbay, Purple jizz everywhere with pregnant people littering the ground
>time to get to work
>drag one into surgery.
>get him nice and aborted, about to start sealing up his ribcage
>suddenly aliens
>drag that nigga outta there, chest wide open
>he wont live long like this
>go back into surgery, recover surgery tools
>escape into maint where...
>there are 3 aliens.
>scooby doo style chase occurs, with doors having more ayys
>get out into main hall, juke 3 ayys twice and manage to fuckin make it
>all while dragging my patient.
>find a table, get to work
>pregnant dude runs up to me, and I grab a hemo and try to table him
>SPLAT
>kill the baby alien remorsefully (sorry bro)
>loot his egun
>fuck this isnt even a reinforced table
>head to sec checkpoint, put him on there from the outside and begin work again
>alien jumps out of vent and drags him inside
>open fire and land a few good hits, ayy pisses off
>now i cant fucking get to my patient
>go look for tools, cant find a fucking welder anywhere (go figure)
>come back and the alien is back with a facehugger
>out of charge
>2 bros show up and open fire, but they were looking for a charger and didnt have access to sec
>go with em to get some charge for egun too, maybe find welder on the way
>get gun charged from broken into sec, go back to check and see if alien is back
>patient is just fine, but goddammit no welder
>say fuck it and grab a welder tank
>welderbomb into checkpoint
>get his ass out and escape fighting off ayys all along the way

what an unexpected wild ride that shit was.

This. i'm , and there is nothing worse knowing how to spaceman and trying to cope with others that aren't with the program. It's especially bad as medbay, sec, borg/AI, or some autism project that needs a lot of shit from a lot of people. You learn a whole new level of hatred.

>Wasting your time
Dude you got shit to do it's fine. Not him but I don't trust anyone else to make my medkit mixes either. Even if they're not literally trying to kill me, it takes forever when I got other shit to do and more often than not they're badly fucked up anyway and I have to do them myself anyway.

Hopefully, yes. We don't need another ebin purge memeday, because all it does is it draws shitcunts out of the woodwork, and makes them invite their Hippie shitter friends to ruin the server even more.

I understand the hatred but group antag rounds are fun as fuck when you don't know what you're doing and I don't want that ruined for him

Not him, but user, when my antag group is semi competent buty then you have one nigga use a emp talisman in from of 6 people in the middle of a arena, that gets me mad, not laughing.

You can cry wolf for as many posts as you want, user but it won't make it true.

There be always someone who has to learn. And someone who is going to be doing more roleplaying.
Roll with it, it's far more fun when you do not mind the shit but instead embrace and accept it as part of the SS13 experience.

>What I prefer in a cultist
- Able to coordinate a rescue of me from the brig by getting 2 other cultists and setting up the proper runes for the combo teleport.
- Can establish a cult base in an actual safe location with at least the basics (some food and paper bin, teleport rune, and safe atmos)
- Can complete the word research and Communicate it frequently
- Converts targets of opportunity without taking unnecessary risks, provides new converts with tomes

>What I can at least work with
- Tells everyone their word at shift start
- Can stand still on a Narnar ritual for a full 10 seconds

>What the usual cultist is
- Doesn't reply to any messages
- Wanders off immediately, optionally gets caught with tome

I had to stop playing cult because being the one eyed man in the station of blind men is insufferable. It's one thing when the other heads aren't one-man strike team spec ops. I'm not really expecting them to be. But time after time they don't even reach the bar of can do shit as a regular traitor and actually understood the wiki before toggling.

There is a pretty huge difference between tator and cultist though.
You can bide time just fine as a tator, and can last minute your goals, as a cultists you need to work fast and hard to make sure you are in a position to summon NAR-SIE.

>>alien jumps out of vent and drags him inside
>>open fire and land a few good hits, ayy pisses off
>>now i cant fucking get to my patient
HEH

I got shot so many times but always fucked off instead of being bullheaded and getting myself killed.

I got shot by chemists.
I got shot by security.
I got shot by Mimes and xenaorcheologists and scientists too.

But I always fucked off and returned to the nest.

>Some retard gets caught
>This is the one round where sec/borgs aren't drooling retards
>KNOCKKNOCK *BLAM*
It feels so terrible when some retard is blatantly acting like a cultist, gets bagged, and the cover's blown all for fucking nothing.

Man i'd just settle for can upload or be ready to cultimov or onehuman by 12:30-35 and bump off sec, hop and cap.

Okay I guess I meant a traitor that actually does shit instead of sucking themselves off and emagging an abandoned locker or considering someone getting themselves killed "traitoring"

How does security deal with people who only have one arm?

stunbatons.

>Upload "Only cultists are human"
>Cap starts "The Cult of Cult Hunting" and invites the whole crew to join

Bolas

>the cult of hunting yourself
>the cult of hurting the only humans
nice going

I will stunlock you all the way to the brig where you can rot

If you only make judgments based on names alone, you'd rid the world of firemen!

Implicit in that other people's hopes is that law numero uno starts off with "Only X and beings he designates as such are cultists."

Summary execution followed by boot knife decapitation and destruction of the head or brain and securing a head Id to recall spam to station time 16:00 or later. We all know why they only have one arm. They're giving tangible proof by being shitters enough that you have to deal with them. And they're fooling nobody with their powergaming dindunuffin shit.

>silicons
>implicit

Leg cuffs and a flash

Why don't people use them, its so fucking easy to make them, if you slip your flash is useless to the greyshits and the stun is the same old shit. Get a grip sec, use a flash.

Playing with one arm is not exactly powergaming. There's a lot of stuff you just flatout can't use with only one arm and a lot more stuff that's very inconvenient to use without one arm. It's a pretty huge tradeoff unless you plan on doing nothing that shift but smashing windows.

Not implicit for the silicons, implicit for the person saying to upload Cultimov regarding "not-useless cultists." Just as much as it's implicit that they confirm or ensure the AI's on Asimov before uploading Onehuman.

>slowly feel myself powergame harder and harder
>I never even use my powergamed toys except the tool box
What do I do?

Become a Trader, sell your powergaming items. We need more birbs who actually sell shit instead of just stealing shit for their nest.

It doesn't matter how much you powergame senpai.
How many valids did you secure with your powergaming today?

Zero. I just powergame just in case and the case never happens or if it happens I just run. I don't even get in trouble with sec over it because I never act suspicious to get arrested.
I'm not a fucking bird.

*pounces on you* *notices arcane tome* 0w0 whats this???

I just bugger off to space and cheese it if I see code blue or any unusual sec activity. Or if I truly must stick around, I keep my mouse on the tele self base slip at all times.

You remove the other arm and let them go.

Consider removing their feet too.

>be new and setting up solars
>some guy stalks me around maint always keeping 2-3 tiles distance from me with a red paper in hand
>even I know what's happening and even I know to feel sorry enough to not call him out
>eventually he pussies out, tell noone
>cult gets curbstomped anyways

I dunno man sounds like you should kill yourself. It may be the only way to stop the cancer from spreading.

Yeah, I've been considering it
Tis the season

You are picking it either to RP and you're not a problem for me. Or you're picking it because you want to get away from new sec who don't know about the one arm memes and generally be a greytiding griefing pest that's best removed from the round so he's out of everyone's hair for the time being. Being a dick is a 2-way street, so remember that when you pick one arm and be a little shit with it.

>PDA Message from Newfriend McDayOneAntag: I saw your cult message im new help

>AI: :s I have intercepted a rather peculiar message..

>been playing SS13 for about a year
>account age would be approaching 3+ years
>have never played cult, have only ever been crew vs cult twice
>people expects things of me because i've been doing this for a bit

I'm not smart, stop hoping for good things to happen

Would you like to learn how to cult

Ask Kavlax to do a cult lesson

Join the red tide. It's so rare to not be running near empty at the end of the shift.

>Try to sell stuff
>Nobody cares, they try to steal stuff, or it's Unga gibe too stool fur assault rifle iz guds
>No noose item to kill myself with
It's almost new years and I want to die

Read the wiki
Read the wiki more
Make a quiz from what the wiki has
Read the wiki again
Quiz yourself
Ahelp and ask kavlax to show you around if he's not busy and be understanding if he has to take breaks to do admin shit. It's really easy to spawn a test dummy, cult them and show them the ropes. It never hurts to just ask people stuff in deadchat too.

The best part about that pic is that it is entirely possible that the HoS is a ling

It's not a matter of learning, I'm just fucking stupid.
Here's a few examples
>open the airlock to singulo as a borg to help a engine too fast, both locks are open, ZAS happens and me the engine get eaten by singuloth
>Try to stop a prison break, step onto the electrified grille I warned the prisoner to avoid, get stomped and looted
>gave the clown space lube and poly because he said the captain made him a scientist, didn't double check
>accidentally brought a goalith back to the station.
>tried to extinguish a fire on myself with water while playing as a grey

>the first tab in the picture is mime
heh

>deaf greyshit with one arm yesterday
>got a toga and had hair that looked like laurels
>would shout about how he cannot hear those with a lower authority whenever people talked to him
I hated that guy, but it was pretty funny. I hope sec ended up executing him.

Ling HoS is the best fucking feeling. Just that feeling when the silicons are your bitch, the red tide is behind you, and you stand right back the fuck up to double pump them before they can scream when some shitter thought they got you.
No gods, no kings, only Order now

If you were really dedicated you could be a good crewmember and go one-arm, it would help you against the stun talisman/cablecuff but it would be useless against antags who move fast enough (to convert, succ, whatever) that they don't need cuffs. For example, if I'm a head cultist I can do lightning conversions, I don't use cuffs.

ss13.moe/forum/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=3408
Reminder that Metacomms Extraordinaire Carshalash had the audacity to appeal his silicon permaban despite not understanding Asimov, even to this day

Australians cannot understand the complexities of a society with laws.

He is practically disabled. Some leniency should be shown to the uncivilized Australian race.

I'd ask you to fight me behind maccas cunt but that'd just prove you right

>tfw your husbando hasnt been on at all for a week

i-i think i scared him