Just got a new car

WAT stickers, lowering springs, and plastidip.
Bam, you are now a "car enthusiast"

check if is does burnouts

Sell it

Black ice

Remove any plastic engine covers

Get a job.

Go for a fast, irresponsible drive.

Change the oil

neutral drops

get some black ice for it

If it's used and has cloth seats, remove the seats for new ones because they are full of the previous owners farts

Redline it.

I can't afford all that work

>took FiST out for test drive with 10km on the odo
>redlined it three times because I'm not used to a combination of high torque/short gearing/low redline
>currently driving it

No problems yet

Actual advice here.

If you don't have proof it was done recently change the oil, check and top off the fluids (brake, coolant, power steering, Transmission, etc), check the filters to see if they need to be replaced. Check tire pressure, and other general things like that.

Now, take it somewhere that you can drive like a dipshit (fast starts, sudden stops, u-turns, etc) to get a feel for what the car is capable of in terms of performance without getting a ticket and shit. It might adverntise and say it can get 0-60 in 3.5 but in practice might be significantly slower with the options you have and it is good to know how much space you need if you are going to pull out in front of people on a busy section of road without fucking your car up by flooring it too hard.

If you don't have a garage or at least a roof to park it under, see if you can find a good cover for it as well. Even if you drive it every day, keeping it covered when not in use will drastically improve the longevity of the paint and trim if you don't have some form of cover for the car.

Lastly, just keep on its routine maintenance and keep it clean so you can catch any faults that might develop while they are small and fix them right away. This last bit of advice will let you coax 300k+ out of damn near any vehicle without dropping a ridiculously amount on it repair bills because you take care of shit before it becomes a major problem to fix for most people. Unless you are a speed freak who gets the most speed you can on the start and hauls ass in a small car without much power, then you will kill it much, much faster. It is why I recommend people get more power than they need and just drive sensibly with it not like a maniac.

LASTLY, stick your dick in the tailpipe and jizz inside of it to establish dominance early on or your car will never respect you. Rape is the only way to bring most cars to heel.

>Can't afford to change the oil, filters and belt.

What the fuck are you doing in a new car then?

The oil change is like $25 if you do it yourself and piss easy.

The belt is mainly just the serpentine belt/s which aren't complicated fixes at all and will cost about $10-$15 a pop, Filters are once again only about $10-$15 and are air and fuel filters mainly.

It is likely only about $50 to get everything you need to do it yourself (not counting tools, but you should be able to borrow those from someone and need little more than socket set and oil filter wrench)

What the fuck are you doing in a new car then?

>he oil change is like $25 if you do it yourself and piss easy.
More like $80-$120. But k

>The belt is mainly just the serpentine belt/s which aren't complicated fixes at all and will cost about $10-$15 a pop,
lul. If you have no maintenance records your accessory belts are the last thing you need to worry about, your timing belt however is a huge thing to worry about.
And if you're dealing with a V engine you're gunna have a fun day long job tearing the front end of your car apart, you're also going to be replacing the water pump on most cars if you're doing the timing belt.
So lets just figure $300-$600 for parts to replace your belts.

>Filters are once again only about $10-$15 and are air and fuel filters mainly.
Where are you from?
Air filters range from $20-$60, fuel filters range from $20-$100

>It is likely only about $50 to get everything you need to do it yourself (not counting tools, but you should be able to borrow those from someone and need little more than socket set and oil filter wrench)

Nope, when you get a used car with no records you're going to be about $1k or more deep before you can say your car is up to maintenance and trust worthy.

Fluids, belts, filters, potentially brakes, tires, suspension components, alignment, etc etc
I've never seen a private sale used car that didn't need suspension parts.

Run over a kike.

Okay. Let me ask this:

What car did the OP buy? If the OP is a fucking idiot and bought a BMW or some shit, then yes, oil changes are going to be in that price range. If OP can't afford all of that, then dumbass shouldn't have bought it. A simple old honda or toyota is going to cost at least $25 for an oil change at walmart with conventional oil.

>Air filters range from $20-$60, fuel filters range from $20-$100

If you let Jiffy lube cuck you, otherwise they're under $30 at the part store unless you have a big ass diesel or an expensive range rover.

I was talking about getting the parts online.
All work done yourself.
This "BMW " meme has gone too far.
It's 2016, any car made within the last decade has high maintence costs, american, japanese, korean, german. Any of them.
With fuel and emissions standards all makes have had to go with tighter tolerances. New cars simply take synthetic oil, if you're stupid enough to put conventional oil in any post 2000 car you're going to feel it later when your putting an engine in your car.
And no 3,000 miles change interval is going to save you from the shearing. Hell the 3k mile interrval at $25 is still $83 for 10k miles, with synthetic you're getting almost identical cost for superior protection for that entire range.

The advice of your fathers isn't relevant today when the average car is newer than 2006.

>Crash it
Jk enjoy your car famalamarambe

I come from the deep south where I have been running maintenance on my own cars for decades. The figures you listed are drastically over priced.

Is this Euro prices or something?

>Changing oil every 3k miles.

It amazes me that people still do this with newer cars.

Consult your owner's manual, it will tell you when to change your oil.

My 05 impala? Usually went about 20k miles before needing an oil change.

Dubs and you post sharpie in your poop hole

On synthetic you goon.

>Decades
>Ensuring cars older than 2006

While an 80's American car might cost nickles to keep alive and maintain, 10's American car costs just as much as the "expensive" imports.

Go to your local taco bell and pick up some trays

Place under wheels and proceed to be the sickest motherfucker on the street

Burnout so hard niggas from the next county will be calling the cops

Do a skid cunt